As you all know I have a hard time sleeping at night. It takes me forever to fall a sleep and then I am up and down most of them. But then come day light I can sleep like a rock. I know I have said on here before if I had someone just to sleep with I would sleep better and at night. How odd it is.

I was laying here in bed thinking about it, why can I sleep a lone in the day just fine but not at night? Way back when me and father of the year first started having problems when I was pregnant with my 2nd is how this came about. There would be nights I just could not get comfortable in the bed with him there. I ask him sleep on the couch just for the night once in a while. He get mad and not do it we had a small bed at the time. So not a lot of room. I got to where I would stay up at night watch tv or do stuff on the computer until he got up to go to work. Then go lay down and sleep for a while.

When things started getting bad between us I didn’t want to be around him, him touching me or trying anything. So again when it was bad I would stay up until he went to work kids went to school and go home and sleep. It was that way for years.

The times I did sleep good at night over the years were when I was with someone who I had a good realtionship with and we would go to bed together happy and I would sleep good. When I would sleep in the day I was ok with being alone.

I guess subconsciously I have just associated sleeping alone is ok in the day but at night I need someone there. I have tried to change this thought but it hasn’t happened. I think part of it is because that is when everything is calm, kids are in bed and I have time to spend time with someone and there is no one so I feel alone.

When I was with R.C we would sit and talk at night really take time and spend with eachother and catch up or just to connect. Then we would go to bed together.

When me and father of the year got together it was like that too. We always went to bed together and I slept good. Until we started having problems.

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