Every night I come home and go straight to bed or soon there after. I get home pretty late most the time well after 10/11 some nights 1am or after. Most nights the kids are atill up and thats fine it is Summer we are night owls. I see them a bit then me and little one go to bed.
I am tired woreout more like it and stressed lately. My little one stresses me out even more. She wants me to lay facing her with my arms around her and snuggle her. It is so uncomfortable for me and some times I just don’t want to be touched. If I refuse to lay how she wants and lay so I am not hurting she cries because I hurt her feelings. Then she lays on top of me until she falls a sleep. I feel horrible for not wanting to snuggle but I just need to destress and calm down after work. And it isn’t like I can for a little bit an hour then move she wants to stay that way until she falls a sleep and i sneak away.
Then later at night or in the morning when I am feeling good and relaxed and want to snuggle she isn’t interested. I really don’t know where I am going with this or the point i am trying to make or what really. I am just stressed and feel bad. I think if it was someone different I would want to and it wouldn’t bother me so much at night. But with her it just feels like something else on the list of things to do and something i have no say in i just have to do it. I feel bad for feeling that way but i do. I know i know it won’t last forever and i miss it later. I think it bothers me most that i am so stressed i can’t enjoy it like i should be.