My right arm to not have to go deliver these pizza’s tonight. How bad I hate it and don’t want to go. But I also have bills to pay and need the money. Like the lights that are going to go off in the morning if I do not give them $115 tonight. I won’t make that much and would have it in the morning when I cash my check but still have food to buy and other things to get and pay until my check next Friday. This is really becoming a problem with money. Everyone says it will get better it just gets worse.

I have thought about doing a lot of things the last few days to make money just so I would not have to do these pizza’s. Short of drug dealing or prostitution I can’t come up with anything that will give me money right now. I am not sure how I would get into dealing and my luck I would sell to a undercover and be under the jail for life.

I just can’t bring myself to do the other either. How do you do something like that you don’t know or your not interested in? If I am not interested in you or attracted to you in some way shape or form I can’t even fake it that I am and the thought of you touching me forget it, it is not going to happen. I don’t know how people do it. Even dancing I don’t know how they do it. I know a lot are on drugs and things but I can’t get that drunk I always know what is going on. Drugs hell I can’t affard to live right now there is no way I could support a habit too. It isn’t something I would want to do anyway. But saying.

If I just made enough to get a loan to get everything paid up and could pay it back in monthly payments not weekly and not break the bank payments. I would be okay. I don’t even need that much really to get things paid off. I paid some off already. I can’t get a title loan they give nothing and want to much a month. I guess I will just keep applying and keep stuggling until something happens.

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