Not sure if I shared this already or not but I am now either way.

I just pulled up at work to start my pizza thing and remembered I have to be at my other job at 9 am tomorrow and back here by 530 tomorrow night. This is only the second week of working the 9am shift at my other job. I wasn’t really thinking about it when I told her I would work these two days. Not that it would really of mattered anyhow I still had to do it because I need the money to bad.

I am here sitting in the truck I don’t have to start until 530 so I am listening to the radio writting this and trying to give myself the pep talk to go in and get through the night. It isn’t easy when I don’t even want to walk in the door right now. I am $21 short of paying the light bill tonight. I have to pay something on water this week. I have to pay on the insurance money i borrowed have gas for the week and buy food.

It really is all I can do to not just start the truck and drive away. I didn’t like this job before, I did not realize I hated it this much and that it was causing me this much stress and anxiety. I know since I haven’t been coming here a huge amount of stress was gone but I thought it was other things. Now I see a lot of it was this job. Wow what an eye opener. But again nothing I can really do about it because I need the money to badly to say no and not do it. But I would not care of they told me they did not need me after all and sent me home.

I better get off here and go in, I have started the truck 3 times and almost left. If I sit here to much longer I am not going to go in. I just want to leave text her tell her something came up i had to go and leave. I feel like I did that day I was supposed to feliver flowers. My anxiety was so bad I just got back on the truck and left. To top it all off they look dead as hell so I probably waste of my time and not make any money after dealing with a ton of bs and stress. Its 527 i habe to go in or leave and piss everyone off. Better get off here and decide.

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