6 Long Years

Last night when reading the post that made me write I Pushed Him Away, got me to thinking about how long I have been alone and doing this all on my own.

It has been six years since we split up and I have not been in a relationship with anyone since. You know how long it has been but until you really stop and think about it….

Its no wonder I feel the way I do and so down at times. It been six years of doing and giving for everyone else and no one giving back helping or doing for me. Six years of no one caring about me or showing me affection or anything. Yeah I have my friend but its not even close to the same.

Just going through everyday day to day stuff with the kids growing it seems like it has flown by. When I think about it, it seems like forever ago, another life time almost. I try to remember how it felt when me and RC were together and were happy its like hard to think I was ever happy. It was suck a short little tiny blimp of time. That almost year seems like it was a day. But the other 5.5 years seem like 10 years. 10 years of struggling and being a lone and unhappy. Not unhappy because I was/am a lone just unhappy because of struggling and not seeing an end insight. It just all seems so odd to me.