I am sitting in my truck at the store trying to force myself to go in and I just can’t. I am supposed to be at the celebration of life in less than an hour and I don’t want to go. I should be going in to get a top to wear, that is why I am here. The closer to time it gets the sicker I feel.

I think because of the time of year it is and losing my dad. Right now was when we were in the thick of things with him and the day of his death is less than a month a way. The cancer all just hitting to close to home. I don’t know what to do. I feel I need to go out of respect at least but I feel such horrible anxiety right now thinking about it.

I left for work this morning but didn’t have to work I’m just bouncing around here and there. I just want to go home and sleep. I gained 5lbs from all I have eaten this week alone. I been eating anything and everything and even buying food. I think just because I am depressed. It just hit me thinking about everything. I just feel like I am in a funk. Couldn’t figure out why.

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