{February 27, 2019}   Communication Issues

I don’t know what is going on with Sleeping Beauty I have hardly talked to him since Sunday. He stopped talking Sunday evening, I seen him before work Monday and we talked a little. Then I didn’t hear anything from him until yesterday morning when he messaged me said he got off late the night before and stayed at a friends house. Told me he was working and asked to borrow few dollars. He messaged me later said he didn’t get to work he was home cleaning, washing clothes.

Then he stopped talking again until this morning he said he wasn’t getting to work we talked a little. I asked him to call me he asked why said his phone isn’t working. I asked him if everything was okay, he said yeah why? I said you seemed really upset Sunday when I dropped you off. He told me no, he was fine. I said you just seem like something is bothering you other than work. He says I’m fine calm down. I said I am calm. Why the 20 questions he said. I said you know what I will leave you alone not trying to bother you and piss you off. No 20 questions.

A little bit later he sent me a messaged said this is what I am going to do today. In a minute a picture came up he was holding up a bottle of rum. I said don’t do that. We are supposed to go out tonight have a good time. You do that all day you aren’t going to be in any shape to do anything. I asked why he was going to do that what would it fix. I said just like you tell me. I said so this job sucks then take today and look for a new one.

In a bit he said now he wants me to come to work. I said tell him no leave him in a jam for the day. Tell him he said you weren’t working you can’t sit around and not work you found something else to do to make money. If he wants you there tomorrow then you will be there. I asked what he told him he said he told him he was to busy to play his games. I haven’t heard from him since.

He never wants to talk and he wants to disappear or withdraw when you message. Why was he telling me to calm down and starting with 20 questions? That is all that was said. We really are going to have to sit down and talk this evening he is supposed to go with us because of Sailor boy. I know he is dealing with a lot too but he needs to understand that not communicating is just going to make things worse.

Like I told Bff, he wants to say you been wanting to talk and what is with the 20 questions, I am going to tell him you know what we can sit and talk about this or I can just snap on you and raise hell or I can just shut up deal with it on my own and stuff it until I say fuck it. So I know you are dealing with stuff but I am dealing with stuff too and we are either going to do this and open up to each other and help each other work through it or we need to just forget this and go our own ways because like this it isn’t going to work out.

He can say what he wants about Sunday, I know he was upset and something was bothering him.

I think that the way things are right now, him living so far away, not getting to work like he should, not having money because he is trying to catch up on things and wanting to help me and wanting to be around and with me and the kids are all just getting to him. He is trying to figure out how to make it all happen. He was asking me the other day about how much it would cost to get my guns. He told me don’t worry about it we would get them out soon. Telling me we need to get something else for me to drive so he can tear my truck down and fix it. I said something about how freaken far it is to drive and get him or drop him off. He said I’m sorry honey, I know I don’t like it, I am trying to figure out something else. I said it is okay, I’m really not complaining your doing what you have to do I’m just saying, just talking.

He told Bff he was going to try and meet her this afternoon so we could all go tonight but I haven’t heard from him and she hasn’t either. I don’t know what he is doing if he started drinking or what. She told him he had to go with us tonight not to leave us to deal with the stalker alone. he told her no he wouldn’t do that to anyone so he still planed to go. but he hasn’t gotten a hold of her and we can’t get a hold of him. But his phone seems like it don’t have service again. I am thinking maybe hopefully he went to his room and went to sleep. I am getting off at 5 or a little after I am going to try and get a hold of him. If I don’t I am going to message his mom and tell her to tell him I am on my way to get ready. I got there Sunday he was sleeping they got him. He came out said I told you to call me when you were on your way. I said I called and called and messaged you. I was going to message your mom but didn’t. He said you should of so he shouldn’t get mad and hopefully she won’t. Hopefully we we can figure things out.

Bff says she thinks he is dealing with his own stuff from the past and things. Like I said I am sure he is because I am too. But it is one of the quickest things to mess up a relationship. He has to decide what he wants. Even if he don’t want to talk about things he can’t just ignore or with draw like he is either. Jut say so and move on.

I am not asking him to call me 100 times a day, I’m not asking him to message me all day. But if we are messaging then say hey I got to go or I will talk to you later not just no response and nothing for almost a day. If I am trying to call then take a minute to answer or say I will call later not what is it just text me or not respond. It is the being ignored and just there one second and gone for the day the next wit no explanation that is getting to me. Why gone for almost a whole day say nothing.

She says I don’t think there is anyone else. I told her I don’t either but I am worried there maybe something else. I can’t have that. I may have said that already but that is what I am really worried about.

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