{February 23, 2019}   Day 20 Song of Challenge

A song I listen to when I am angry. This is one I like when I am in a mood.

I do not own this song or rights to it.

{February 22, 2019}   Talked to My Boss

I had somethings to take care of this morning so I did that and messaged my bosses and asked them what time they would be at the shop this morning. The one messaged me back and said about 9:15. I told okay. Later he messaged and asked if something needed done first thing this morning before they went out? I told him no I just wanted or needed to talk to them. He said okay.

I got here just before that and came in was waiting on them to get here. I tried the computer it was shut down and off. I tried to turn it on it wouldn’t come on, it just beeped at me and a blank screen. I thought oh great he really can hack this stuff and what did he do? because only me and the one boss was here yesterday and he left shortly before I did and we never ever turn the computers off. We leave them on. I thought maybe he came back and was doing something and shut it down for something or did something.

He came in a little after 9:30, he was like oh wow your hear early. I said yeah I wanted to talk to you. We had just been talking yesterday about how you can hide apps to track people and things like that on the phones. He was saying he put one on his sons phone so that if something happen he could find him even if his gps and things were off. Then hid it so someone couldn’t turn it off.

I said you know we were talking about this yesterday, I said can you tell if there is something on my phone to track me or listen to my calls and see my messages or what I do on my phone? He said yeah, I said will you? He said yeah, yeah let me see I can check it. I gave it to him. He was standing here by me at the desk going through it and checking it out. I said I kind of got myself in a situation and I am not sure how to handle it or get out of it. I said I don’t think my phone was left to have anything put on it and most the time I have it locked but I had the lock off and I went to the bathroom and things I may have left it just laying there on the table.

After that is when I told him I kind of got myself into a situation and wasn’t sure how to handle it or get out of it. He kind of looked up from the phone and looked at me like what the hell is going on. I said Saturday I went to the village after work to the concert. I was supposed to go with a group of friends they backed out so I went by myself. I said this guy was there with some friends and things and came over and started talking to me. I said he seemed okay I talked to him we have been talking the last week. I told him how we all go to Applebee’s Wednesday when I get off my other job and that he went with us. I said but other than that we have just messaged or talked. I said but there was just something about him that I couldn’t figure out or read whatever you want to say. I said my friends think he is great and he this nice guy I should give him an chance. I said but I don’t know him we were just talking. I said a few things he said just seemed kind of off to me I was sitting at my other job last night after I left here and decided to just look him up and see what it showed. I wasn’t ready for what it showed at all. I told him and he was like oh wow.

I said now I don’t know if he has put something on my phone maybe, or how to handle it and get away from him, he knows where I work and things. He said well today is your last day here by yourself we will be here all next week. He said just kind of lay low don’t say to much until later. He said that way if he gets mad and wants to come here and start we will be here. He said if he comes here and starts I will whip his ass. If he wants to come her start or get nasty with you. He said you don’t need that around your kids, you don’t need it around you. I said I know I was floored when I seen it. I said he started talking I was just nice and talk. He said yeah don’t worry about it he won’t start here I will take care of it. I said I’m not scared of him but I don’t want to be dumb or stupid about it either. I want to be prepared in case.

I said I don’t know how to get rid of him, just ignore him he will go away, confront him, tell him I am seeing someone else? What is going to be better, what would be worse. He said yeah I don’t know that is hard not knowing what will set him off or what. He said said maybe just ignore him for now see if he leaves you a lone if he don’t then when we are here next week tell him you are seeing someone else. He said you never told him you two were going to get together or be together or something like that did you or make him think that? I said no, no not at all, I said he has hinted around at it and I just say I don’t know or nothing or what. I said but he wants more. I said we don’t even know each other for me to know if I would want more with him or not even if I hadn’t found this and everything was fine. He said yeah just play it off back off from him and see how it goes then if you have to tell him something do it and see what happens from there. I think that is probably the best idea.

I told Pops when he came in, I said so the guy I met I told you I didn’t know what to think about and I thought he might be full of shit. I said he is and told him he was like omg. I said I know. He said you can’t be around that now you have to worry about that. I said I know. He came in my office when I came back in here a little bit ago he said I have a stun gun in my car, if I leave here today I am going to give it to you to keep in your desk or on you just in case anything happens or you need it. I said okay. The boss said all that is recorded so if he comes up here and starts with you, you need it you have that too. He be stupid to come start he knows it is recorded but hell people do stupid shit all the time that is recorded.

I told my boss too he told me he was on disability at one point. He said he was in an accident I figured it was from that he said he forgot things and stuff like that. I said he was long term committed and that takes a lot. The way he talked I didn’t think he was still on it but then Wednesday he was waiting for a money to hit the bank. I said he still on it he getting a crazy check not because of the accident. My boss laughed he said yeah your probably right. I said I think so.

About the time it says he was long term committed is about the time he says he was out in the other state and setting up and doing all these businesses for friends out there and then Sailing all over the last few years. I said he was probably away. Some of these charges these people had injunctions against him for years and then he violated them so it didn’t just happen and then he went away and left them alone. This is just really messed up and not cool.

After not hearing from him since 530 last night he messaged me about 10 this morning. He wanted to know what the deal was. He has made a few comments about coming over and things. I tell him no and I have the kids and things. He says he isn’t scared. I finally said yesterday okay here is the deal……But then wasn’t able to finish talking to him. So this morning he was like what is the deal????

I wanted to say well yesterday there was one but things have changed here is the new deal. I looked you up and I know all about your past and you say you beat this or that or what but that means nothing and there are all these that you didn’t beat that are worse than the ones you did. So I know all about you I can’t have you around. But I didn’t, I figured I should just do like my boss said and keep things alright get through the day back off slowly and if I have to say something say something later or in a few days. I don’t want him to come up here and start but if he is going to it wouldn’t be good if he did today with just me and Pops here or with Pops here. I rather be here alone than Pops being here if the guys weren’t going to be here. It is so crazy how people can be so different than what they let on to be. He seems like a nice, funny, decent guy then you look him up and see all this.

I am sorry I shouldn’t say he is crazy or crazy check or whatever. I know mental illness is a real thing god knows I know and have dealt with it enough myself. I don’t mean it in a bad way at all. There is nothing wrong with getting it if you have mental illness and truly need it can get it that is great. I am just I don’t know my mind is going 90 miles a minute trying to figure it all out and the fact he just acts like he has nothing done nothing and knows that all he is telling us is probably 99% lies and he just laughs when I would say he was so sure of himself and so full of it and things. If you have something wrong if you did something be upfront about it, don’t lie or try to hide it. Yeah we just started talking and things, but when you are asked what will I find on you if I look you up don’t lie and say traffic and a few things but nothing big and I beat them. Not when you have 20 pages of stuff against you. If you been committed or something and you know it is there you may want to explain that before someone just see’s it. I don’t know like I said I feel he is just trying to get over on people. That he is just running a game and when it starts to fall through he then flips. I don’t know if he don’t know what he is doing then why is he free to walk around on his own why is he not being taken care of or committed. I don’t know what I think other than why me? Why can’t I really meet someone decent? What am I being punished for? Is this one really going to try something or do something if I stop talking to him? If so when and what? How long do I have to wait watch and look over my shoulder and things?

I also had the thought and told my friend he has lived all around me here where I grew up, by my house me and ex had and this house I am in now. He even lived not that far from me when I lived up the road a little piece. Maybe he has been my stalker that I have had for years. That just creeps me out a little. I have always said I probably talked to this person whoever it is because I worked at the stores and things so they can come in buy stuff come through my line or come up and ask me where things are or whatever like any other customer and I would never know. They are laughing the whole time because they are and I don’t know. If this is him now we have talked hung out together and everything else he has hugged me and all. That just makes me feel really sick thinking about it and if it was he has just taken things to a new level. What could or will he do next? I know now I sound crazy and far fetched but who knows. Knowing he lived right down the street or around the corner all these different places when this was going on. I have to stop thinking about it all I tell myself no and forget it. It is just here now and to just worry about that but I don’t know what to think about it all anymore.

Why do I feel so stupid and so embarrassed about it all? I didn’t do anything I was standing in a field at a concert and talked to someone. What am I supposed to do just look at the ground everywhere I go and not talk to anyone? It isn’t like I am going out let me see how messed up of a person I can find or some one with the worst past I can to talk to and be friends with. I just end up with these people I don’t know.

{February 22, 2019}   Song a Day, Day 19

A song from my favorite album, does anyone have albums anymore or know what song is on what album? I don’t because I have not bought anything in a very long time. But none the less here is a favorite song.

I do not own rights to this song or this song.

So like I said in my other post Bff and J’s hubby think this guy I met Saturday is just great and such a nice guy. I am just looking for something to be wrong with him or an excuse. I keep telling them no there is something about him. Like I said I can’t decide if he is just full of shit or what. They are all give him a chance this and that. I said let me get to know him I don’t know him to decide or give him anything. I’m not expecting anything. I am going in no expectations of any kind. I just can’t get a good read on him. Most people you just know or they are easy to figure out. But he is just i can’t figure out what it is about him.

Today I thought I had and even bff said yeah she thought I was kind of right. I told her he is just to all over me, into me or whatever you want to say. Just oh your this and that your eyes, just all the stuff he has said.

But I told her if he isn’t just full of shit then he is akaward in ways because of how he grew up. He is use to only having people around because of the money. No or few real friends. We aren’t waiting or asking him to pay we are talking to him like he is an everyday person or what. So I understand some of the things that have been said or what.

I was starting to relax a little. But there was just something that made me feel really uneasy when he stopped at work today. I thought just because i was at work I don’t mix work and personal. I still wasn’t expecting anything just felt like i figured things out a little bit.

Tonight I was sitting at my other job writing and things. Something just said look him up. I started not to but I did. I knew he had some traffic stuff but that was it really. I don’t know what I expected to find really nothing other than that but I had to look.

Holly shit I was not expecting to find what I found. At the top was traffic stuff. But then it went on and a divorce came up, then another I think 2 or 3 plus the annulment he said he had.

Then domestic violence, stalking; cyber stalking, and sexual this and that. A charge of something over 65, dv with kids, dv with out kids, violation of injunction, arrest for out of county stuff, a baker act and a committed to long term care baker act.

I just sat there with this sick feeling in my stomic and the thought of what do I do? How do I handle this? I called bff and was like this is what I just found!!!! She was like omg he was with us we were hanging out with him. What are you going to do?

My first was call him confront him ask him about it. Tell him i know now he is full of shit and stay away from me. I did call he never answered. I messaged he hasn’t messaged back. I have not heard from him since about 6 something.

But I don’t know now if I should just wait just stop talking to him. Tell him i am seeing someone i have been talking to we decided to get together give it a try or what.

I just want to be done no problems but i don’t think it will be that easy the way he talks about me and things.

I called my old friend I haven’t talk to in months to see if I could borrow a gun but he didn’t have one. He said he looked kind of creepy. I said gee thanks, but he said maybe he was young, maybe he had some girl putting him through hell or he was going through some shit. Maybe he is alright now doing better or changed. I said no over over repeat vilation this that. He said dam girl you better back away slowly. He got some problems. I said I know, all i was doing was standing in a field and tried to be nice talk to someone who talked to me. He said i know why i don’t even try to find someone or want to be with anyone. I said i don’t either now. He said something about his boat. I said no I didn’t go out there at all I’m not stupid. He said probably some kind of torture chamber or something. I said yeah no shit. He says his daughter lives out there on it with him. I said to him and bff before that I wonder who is really out there? What is going on.

Now he knows where I work, both jobs and that I am at this one alone and in the back. He has been all through there. They have someone they know come in they bring them in my office they sit and talk. I told him come back sit we walked out the back door he sat there and smoked. Then he left.

Bff thinks I should say something to my bosses at my day job so they know what is going on in case something happens. I am so embarrassed and feel so stupid. But I thought they are federal cop they are probably the best ones to ask for adive. They know me won’t blow me off. Think I am crazy I hope. They dont know me outside of work so who knows what they will think if i tell them this. I told Pops Tuesday about meeting him. I told him I didn’t know what to think about him. I couldn’t decide if he was full of shit or alright. He said all you can do is talk to him get to know him. Nothing wrong with that.

I have to decide what to do. Talk to my boss or not and how to deal with him. I told bff I told him I was stood up by her and other friends and I said something I think about a guy was supposed to come too. He said something about how could he stand me up he be with me any chance he had or something. I should say look I have been talking to this guy for over a year we decided to get together and see where it goes. He had emergancy out if town he just got back. Hope he just goes away. She thinks he is going to start showing up where we hang out. I told her if he does and comes over to us I am going to tell him sorry I told you already I can’t talk to you I am with someone. Then if he won’t go away or tries to start a problem i will call the police get them to make him leave.

{February 21, 2019}   Going To The Dentist

Last night I went out with Bff and the guy I met over the weekend at the concert. We just went to our normal place, her aunt didn’t come so it was just the three of us. I picked him up at the dock on my way over. I drive right by there to get there and go home.

We had a really good time. We laughed and joked around talked. He had said he could sing and did but when we got there he was saying he wasn’t going to. He was talking about how bad their system was and everything. I said oh all talk but can’t back it up. He was like no really I can but their system and the sound. It would be horrible. So we teased him and joked around and he finally went up there and put his name on the list and sang. Wow he can sing, he was really good even on their system. To be fair it really did sound horrible it is all off, just bad. They changed the people who use to do it and these people are horrible and their equipment is as well. But I just wanted to see how he was and you can tell even if the system isn’t great if someone is halfway good or just talking. Really we were just joking around. He sang about 3 or 4 times all different things and he did good on all but one. I think it was just the song i didn’t care for it.

We were there for hours my neck on the right side has been bothering me for weeks I can’t turn my head to the right. Now I have a couple of teeth on that side bothering me. They had one girl get up there just scream and yelling it didn’t help made my head hurt. I was ready to go. But we were all talking still him and bff was talking about her dad and family. He knew him and her sister and uncle. He was asking about them and things. I was sitting beside him I laid my head over in his chest he put his arm around me. He ask of I was alright. I told him yeah my mouth tooth and things were hurting he was asking what was wrong. I told him. He said he had something at home he was going to bring me today at work to help with it.

Today he messaged me and we were talking. He had asked me yesterday if I had insurance I told him no. He said oh. Today we were messaging back and forth and he said he just got up but he was going to bring me that stuff for my tooth. I told him take his time I was alright for now. Then he said,

I’ll take you to the dentist next month a week or two.

I said it’s okay I will be fine there is nothing they can do it is to far gone.

He said then they can pull it.

Then youre going to the dentist I’ll pay dont worry bout it.

If you don’t take care of that it will cayse you more problems and not just your teeth health wise because of the location.

I told him not to worry about it, it isn’t just one tooth it is about 4. Really all my teeth need pulled they are all messed up.

He came over and he hung out for a little bit he insist that I am going to the dentist next month. I just told him we would see.

I am not doing this he can’t take me and pay all that. We just met what is he thinking? I am sure it will come up again I am going to tell him that.

I was talking to my friend J and her husband telling her about it. She was like I don’t know what to say or tell you. She said you attract all kinds. He husband said look at all the shit you are going through with the other and been through. Maybe he is just a nice guy and really wants to just take care of you for for a change, let him. I sighed and said yeah that would be nice…… but that kind of thing don’t happen to me. My friend J laughed and said yeah that shit don’t happen to us.


{February 21, 2019}   Day 18 Song Challenge

A song that I wish was on the radio. This one use to be but not very much anymore.

I do not own this song or rights to it.

{February 20, 2019}   Child Support Lawyers, Oh My

I spent over an hour on the phone with child support enforcement trying to figure out the letter I got for court. After I looked at the letter closer they have things all screwed up.

The letter came from the lawyers office I will just call there and have them fix it no problem. Wrong, I call and get a machine that tells me if it is a child support case they will not call me back or talk to me I have to call the enforcement office.

I call them put my social in about 2 dozen times they keep cutting off the last number or telling me I put in something different. I finally just pushed  buttons until it said it was giving me someone to talk to. After 30 minutes I had a person on the phone.

I told her this is for me and ex to be in court but it has my name as the petitioner and my 8 year old sons name as the respondent and it has us both listed at my ex’s address and his name is not on the paper anywhere.

She tells me that is from the court not them. I say I have to call them to fix it then? Well no but that is where it is from. I said it has to be fixed they can’t drag my kid into this have it on his record when it has nothing to do with him. I got no where with her. I ended up hanging up.

She did tell me they took Little Bitty off the case and have a case with RC. That is all I got from her after an hour or more on the phone with her. I hung up and called the clerk of court and then decided I wasn’t wasting anymore time to just go to the main person. The judge, well the judges J.A. that is.

I looked my case up and found out who it was going to be in front of this time and looked up the list of judges and their numbers and JA’s. Wouldn’t you know she wasn’t on the list and I couldn’t find any information for her. I went to the judge that granted the divorce and called his JA and ask her for the information that I needed. She said the new person we are going to see on May 15 isn’t even a judge either they are a hearing officer. I said whoever it is I need their information because this is a mess and I need it fixed. She gave me a number and I was shocked that when I called I got an answer.

Even more shocking was that they were really nice and was just as confused as I was about the letter and how everything was mixed up on it. She said every thing was right on their end too and like I thought to start with the child support lawyer who will not talk to me or answer any calls from me messed it up. I told her that and she said she knew and that she was going to send them a notice that they mixed this all up they needed to fix it and file new papers and that they needed to make sure the other party was notified properly and knew when and where to be in court. I said it is bad enough I am having to miss work to come down there and deal with it but then I have to miss again because they messed up like all this I can’t keep taking off. She agreed with me and said that it was being sent to them to fix right now. I hope that she does and that he shows up. I asked her if they could look in the case and tell me if his license was susppended or not and she said no it would be the DMV that would have that information. They don’t send it back to them. I am going to check into that because I thought it was sent to the clerk of court once it was done. I would think it would be sent back and documented in the case that it was done as well. So that the judge or officer would know what had already been done and that he still wasn’t paying.

I am going to have to see if I can find out a way to see if it has been done or not. I am thinking there are a couple people I maybe able to ask who might be able to find out I just couldn’t tell anyone how I got the information. I should be told as well since I am the one owed so that I know what they are doing and what is being done. Not just that the letter was sent but that action was taken. If he pays to get it back he is supposed to have to pay something to the courts or somewhere before they let him get it back so how do we know what is going on with that if they are not telling everyone if they did it or what? I have a lot of questions that once we get to court on the 15th I am going to be asking that lawyer and they better be ready to answer or I am going to be finding out why.

For now they just better get my kids name out of all this and set things straight there. I punched his name in on the computer and he didn’t come up so hopefully it is just the lawyers office that has it all messed up. That don’t leave me feeling very good about these lawyers that they are using but I don’t surprise me because most of them walk away and don’t pay anyway even after going to court all the time.

{February 20, 2019}   Day 17 Song A Day challenge

A song I hear on the radio a lot. This one seems to be on it all the time the last year. But it’s okay I like it.

I do not own this song or rights to it.

{February 19, 2019}   My New Friend

Bff keep’s saying she is glad she didn’t go that night because had she went I wouldn’t of met him. She thinks it is going to go somewhere.

I keep telling her to slow down I just met him. I don’t even know him enough to think anything about him yet. She just laughs.

We have talked off and on the last 3 days now. I went over and seen him today after work. He wasn’t by work he was at his parents house working on his moms car. I didn’t get out I did not want to meet the parents lol. He was out working on the car I pulled up he came out to the truck we sat there and talked. Something was said the about Saturday night, he said um yeah I was drunk, I’m sorry if I said anything. I laughed, told him he was fine and funny. I had a good time.

He said I got up the next day was like wow I really hung out with her all that time. Then I looked at my text and seen the the pictures you sent. We talked a little longer and I left.

I came and picked oldest up and ran to the store. Walking in my phone starts going off. I look and it is from him. It said………

Wow you are amazingly beautiful and smart.

I like a lot.  I think you might be a keeper.

Then he sent me this song.

I didn’t know what to say so I just said thank you.

I’m serious

Then later tonight well a little bit ago I get….

I absolutely love your eyes

You got like love me down bedroom eyes while at the same time … They say no I’m innocent and sweet.

So not fair….I don’t think I could say no with those eyes……Theyre like soul piercing and stuff.

Bff is like see I told you he is the one you been waiting for. I am still like he is probably full of shit just talking. Wanting one thing like the rest. I don’t know we touched on that saturday when we were talking about ex’s and relationships and things. Not us being together but in general he never said anything about hooking up. Im not interested if he is. Im not rushing into anything with anyone.



{February 19, 2019}   Day 16 Song Challenge

I use to love this song but Father of the Year kind of ruined it for me.

I do not own this song or rights to it.

et cetera
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