{March 13, 2019}   Never Gets Better

Bff’s hubby, my old boss left about a month ago to do trucking school and go over the road doing that. He had been back a few times since then but not much. She is seeing what it is really like to be a single mom and trying to do it all on her own and stressing about money and the bills. Of course the joys of kids who’s dad isn’t in the picture and him being gone and then home over night and gone again for a week or two at a time. They are giving her a really hard time over it all.

She is trying to find a job and they are upset about that and telling her she is never home now. She is always home she don’t work she takes them to school, picks them up, there to make dinner and do everything with them right now. They don’t know what it is like to not have her there.

She was saying now she is seeing what I have been saying about how hard it is and how you can’t just do this or that or go get a job, how much harder being on your own makes everything. How to juggle kids and school and two different schools and work and being there. How the kids have been giving her such a hard time about things and how they are fighting with each other and doing things they aren’t supposed to and fighting with her and bucking things. Not doing chores or going to school.

She said something about someone saying it will get better and how she fells or felt about it. I said they lie, it don’t get better, it never gets better. The only thing it does is change, it is always changing. It is the never ending story of changing. Next week, year, day or night even it will be something different. Just when you think it is going to get better it don’t it just turned into a different problem, a different issue with a different kid or the house or the car or job or whatever else that you can think of that could become a problem and even things you never thought would be a problem will become one. You just learn to roll with the punches and figure it out.

Everyone use to say that to me too, it will get better or you have to hit bottom and then it will be better. It can’t get any worse it has to get better now. I remember telling them no it don’t, it never gets better, it is always something. Even if this “gets better” something else happens so nothing ever gets better. How hard it is when yeah you have shit happen in your life and you get through it and you don’t stress about it you just whatever. They also have someone else there with them helping and shouldering some of the issue or whatever is going on. They have someone there that cares and helps or can take care of a lot of the issues that come up so they don’t have to worry about getting someone to fix this or that and if they do then they have the extra money to do it because they have the other income. They aren’t just hanging on by a thread trying to figure out how to get by much less deal with other problems and issues on top of it.

There is a difference in surviving, trying to survive and thriving. When your always trying to survive, little things are huge when they come up. When you are taking care of everything as it is.

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