Single___Parent___Life











{March 23, 2019}   Someone To Grow With or Someone To Fix

When I was finishing my post about friends I had this thought. It has been on my mind all night and this morning.

Am I looking for someone to grow with or am I looking for someone to fix? 

To me someone to grow with is someone wanting the same things in life as you or close to. This way you can make those things happen together. Your not going to be perfect they aren’t either, your both going to have your “issues” or what but you are willing to help each other out. Be understanding and support.

Someone to fix is like Just Friends, To Broken For More

They have no goals, they aren’t happy in life they feel they have to have someone in life in order to be happy or do anything.

Or some one who can’t keep a job, drinks to much, someone who is abusive or cocky rude, who has a drug problem  spends their day doing what they have to in order to get it. Someone who has nothing and no ambition to have anything.

This is what I think of when I think of someone who needs “fixed”

When I was writing that post I was saying how my “friend” was finally doing something in his life and not just going through his day. He was doing something before but there were a few things I kind if had issues with that he was fine with. They weren’t bad or anything really wrong with it if he was happy okay. I just didn’t get how he was happy but everyone is different. I could of lived with it I wasn’t a big deal. But we just weren’t wanting the same things in a lot of areas. I don’t see it working out between us.

I was thinking about my old friend and Sleeping Beauty and where they are what they are doing or what in life. My old friend I don’t see growing with him even though we want a lot of the same things. But mostly because he don’t want kids involved.

I thought about Sleeping Beauty and my friend J saying to me all the time, you can’t fix him! Leave him alone. My friend at the hair shop saying you can’t fix him.

I keep saying I know and that I’m not trying to. Because in my mind I’m really not. When I thought about him I gotten to really know him. We had fun together, we could just sit and talk together lift each other up when we were down dealing with shit. We help each other out if we needed it, take the kids and do things or he do things here with them. We wanted a lot of the same things in life. Where we were each lacking I felt we filled in the gaps pretty well or could. He works and wants to work he wants the family and all that. He understood i had the kids they come first he felt they should.

Yes he has his problem but it isn’t a all day everyday thing. He can go without it and be fine. I know when he turns to it and does it. It was something we would of had to talk about. He have to be willing to stay away from it. I know he wants to but the hurdles and things he faces with it. I know I can’t make him stop or fix everything for him. Fix that for him. But the desire to stop have better and do better is there. I was willing to be there for him, beside him as support as he done it. Because I know I can’t do it for him or force him to. But I believe in the right situation with people who really care he could and would do it. I was prepared if he didn’t or couldn’t to step back and get out of it. Why I would of waited a while to bring the kids into it even though they know him.

But writing my post yesterday them saying you can’t fix him hit me. I thought was I trying to fix him? Like I said I felt we really messed and could grow together from where we each were. Yes he had this to work on he would have to figure that out and do that.

Then I started thinking so if they consider him needing “fixed” because of where he is what he has don’t have and his issue. I am okay with a lot of things if they want more and are trying to have more. So am I looking for someone to fix and not grow with?

 



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