{March 24, 2019}   Having a Hard Time

I been having a hard time the last few days. The kids are complaining I’m not home, they don’t see me, they are grumpy, grouchy and just complaining along with fighting between them.

I was talking to bff about it last night this morning. Sleeping Beauty text asked what was going on or something. I told him i was tired of it never nothing i do good enough. No one ever happy or what.

He said i need to put my foot down start taking things tell them this is how it is. I can’t do anything im not there enough to say or do anything. He said you need to stop and be there for your kids.

I said Its one thing to walk around knowing no one cares you never been good enough but to fucking have it drilled in your head every time your around the ones that your working your ass off for. You only take so much.

He never said anything back.

Later i was talking to bff on messenger. I said I hear on cry complain gripe or anything else today im take them over pull up say thats your dads house get out go complain cry to him tell him how shitty of a job he is doing im tired of hearing it

Came back you need to grow up. Then in a minute said sleeping Beauty got my phone.

I was not in the mood i said, Not like he gets it or understands he like the rest not there for his either why someone else does it all worries about it all. Makes sure everything happens 24/7/365. Oh boy guess he still had her phone or she told him.

In a minute i get a text from him.  I do understand but I promise u if u come out ur mouth again I promise u I’m not gonna keep my mouth shut.

And u talking shit about me to people that don’t that don’t know me about my drug problem but it’s not a problem.

I didn’t have time to respond to the first before i got the 2nd.

I said I don’t know what the fuck your talking about. He never said anything back after that. I don’t know what he is talking about. I haven’t talk to anyone about it but bff and the guy at work said something to me about him. I didn’t say anything to him about him either. Just yeah you can’t help someone that don’t want it shuts down don’t talk.

He admitted right there he doing it so what can he say. Get mad because people care and trying to help him or figure out how. Oh well.

I started to ask Bff what the hell was going on but I didn’t. He was right there with her. I’m wait for her to get a hold of me. See if she does. If she does she does if she don’t she don’t. I’m not playing games. I figure she will when she drops him at work in the morning he isn’t around.

As far as him saying he understands but and not keeping his mouth shut. Not really anything he can say or do there either. As much as I have listen to him talk to him when shits getting to him. Again when it comes down to it im here doing it he hasn’t seen his done for his nothing. Not much he can say.

[…] until it was time to start work. I was kind of surprised because we have only talked once since Having a Hard Time other than when they all went out Wednesday. I was messaging Bff and we were joking around. I said I […]

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