Single___Parent___Life











{March 26, 2019}   To Contact or Not Contact

I am really on the fence about trying to contact RC and see if he will have some kind of relationship with Little Bitty. I feel that the sooner the better for her, than waiting until she is a lot older. But then if he says no or gets nasty then what am I supposed to say or do? I could tell her I haven’t talked to him or wasn’t able to get a hold of him. But I don’t want to lie to her. I would rather not try to contact him than to have to tell her he don’t want to talk to her or lie that I didn’t get a hold of him.

I am debating if I should wait until child support contacts him and see if he tries to contact me or what they say about visitation. I am sure they will do a paternity test as well since he is not on the birth certificate and my divorce had not been granted. I had to send a letter in it asked who I had been with if I was married or gotten married in x time frame and all that. I had to put RC on there and Father of the Year. I know 100% without a shadow of a doubt that RC is the father. He knows as well and told Bff and her husband that he knew that he was as soon as we found out a was pregnant.

But this way he can’t say she isn’t his or anything like that. Then it will just be up to him, is he or is he not going to have a relationship with his daughter. Even if just for right now it is by phone for now.

Another part wants to just call him up or message him and be like hey look this is your daughter, you know this, she is asking about you, wants to know about you and to get to know you. Are you going to step up or just keep being a deadbeat like you have been?

I know I can’t say it just like that and that I have to be careful what I say and how I say it.

Then I worry about how it will effect the other kids and their dad not being in the picture. I wonder how things are going to play out come May when me and him go to court and go over the child support and visitation for the three of them. I don’t know if how that will go over because they do not want to go to his house or have anything to do with his new wife. I know the court isn’t really going to care about that and tell me that I have told them this or that. But you know what they know who has been there and who hasn’t. Oldest knows he has told her what he was going to do and he hasn’t bothered to. I also have their writings from school that their teacher wanted to make sure that I got because of what they wrote. About how mom is always here and mom don’t run away and mom is all they have. I wasn’t there when that was written, I didn’t even know anything about the writing project that they were working on much less know what they wrote until I went to their holiday dinner with them. They were hanging on the wall and I found them and read them. You can read what they wrote here What They Are Thankful For if you haven’t seen it before. This was a dinner he could of came to as well but he had already been gone for months at that time and knew nothing that was going on in their lives.

But I can’t not let her have contact with her dad just because their’s isn’t in the picture. Theirs was for a while when hers wasn’t.

I am going to have to really think about it and figure out what to do. I just feel if I wait it could be another year or more before they get to us and really do anything and we get the test, results, court date and all that. I don’t want to wait years if I am going to do it.



its a tough one! I hope you come to a decision that you are happy with. xo



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