{March 28, 2019}   Want To Go To School

Ugh oldest just messaged me having a fit she wants to go to school next year. She can’t keep doing this and keep putting up with everything. I don’t know how I a supposed to get them all to school and home and work. This has been the problem all along. I understand she wants to go and needs to go. They have been doing online school this year. Oldest is doing good but she don’t like to be home with the Bitch and all that. Mr.13 is doing horrible but I am not worried about it. I am getting him something new to do he is just going to have to work over the Summer to finish this year. But that is alright because he hasn’t been listening and doing what he is supposed to do. I haven’t said anything much because I am going to get this other for him to do.

But the school they are set to go to is horrible one of the worse if not the worse in our area. I don’t want them there. They would have to walk or be dropped off or picked up. They will go after the little ones go to school and not get out until after they get out. I could still get them all there in the morning but have no idea how I will get any of them from school. Even if the older ones walk the little ones will be stuck because they will be out first. It is a long way for them to walk when it rains days and days at a time and when it is 100 degrees outside. I don’t know what to do.

I was aggravated because she messages me freaking out. Like I told her I am doing the best I can and what I can to keep things paid and give us money to have things we need and be able to do things. This is not my fault things are the way they are. I don’t like it no more than she does.

This is what I mean it is one thing after another. No matter how hard I try or what I do it is never right, never good enough. Something is always wrong. I want her to go to school but there isn’t a decent school. No one I know sends their kids to school over there. I have no way to get them to a better one. I don’t know what to do or say anymore. And Sleeping beauty wonders why I vent and feel the way I do. No he really don’t get it. He won’t get it because he hasn’t had to do it. He hasn’t had to make all this happen or worry about all the shit that I have had to do. Or other single moms or dads that do it all on their own. He don’t get that I really have no one who does anything to help at all no matter how big or small. He just don’t understand. No I shouldn’t have said what I did but it is true. No he may not be like the rest for whatever reason he isn’t’ a part of his kids lives and I know that it isn’t his choice and that he wants to be and thinks about it every day. But he shouldn’t of butted in on a conversation that has nothing to do with him or wasn’t directed toward him. It was a private conversation between me and Bff. So

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