{April 1, 2019}   Not Done Yet

have you ever been thinking about someone or something that is or was in your life and all of a sudden have the thought that your time or interaction with them the way you thought wasn’t over yet?

This morning I pulled into the little store to get my coffee and Sleeping Beauty messaged me and said I want a coffee too. I said then come and get it. I went in and got my coffee and got in line. He never came over I looked at my phone he messaged said he already had one. It was cold he been at work since 8:30. I said why so early because he don’t start until 10 either. He said that is when his ride dropped him off.

We talked back and forth until it was time to start work. I was kind of surprised because we have only talked once since Having a Hard Time other than when they all went out Wednesday. I was messaging Bff and we were joking around. I said I feel so unloved.

I got a text from him that said I love you. I just laughed and said I love you too. He replied oh shit that was supposed to go to so and so. I just said that is okay no one does and nothing more has been said since. I don’t know if he was surprised by my response and didn’t know what to say or what. I know it wasn’t meant for the other person because he never text her and she was sitting right there at the table together. 99% of the time she don’t have her phone on her. But whatever.

Today like I said I was kind of surprised to hear from him or that he talked. I was just thinking about everything with him all that is going on and everything. I was thinking it was nice to hear from him and just talk like friends and like we use to and things. That I do like being friends with him and that I am okay with that. That the idea of more is gone and I am okay with that. I would rather be friends than mess things up and be nothing because he is a good person and fun to hang out with and it’s nice how we all hangout and things.

I hadn’t really thought anymore about it since this morning. I thought about Thursday being Little bitty’s birthday and bff and all us supposed to go to the fair and things. I wondered if he was coming and wondered if anyone told him or asked him if he wanted to come. Me and Bff and her aunt and all the kids are going. I thought he been hanging out with us all and doing things with us all I should of asked him. I figured I would ask Bff if she said anything to him about it.

All of a sudden was like someone walked up and said things aren’t done between y’all yet. I don’t know what that is supposed to mean or how to take it, is it good? Bad? It was like someone just walked up and said it to me.

I don’t know what to think about it, I don’t have time to try and figure it out or dwell on it. I have spent enough time trying to figure things out with him and help him and everything else. I’m not worried about what may or may not happen if it is good or bad. I’m just act like it was never a thought and keep going.


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