{April 16, 2019}   Maybe It Is The Adventure

I am sitting here at work listening to music on Youtube and this song came on….

I hadn’t heard it util the other day and just really watched the video a few minutes ago. While watching it I thought of how it is getting to know someone new and starting a relationship. It’s like and adventure getting to know each other and doing things together, figuring out each others likes and dislikes and all about them. Is that another reason I have been resisting Special K so much as well? Because the adventure isn’t there? The new isn’t there? We have known each other for so long it feels that there isn’t anything new to figure out?

But then again is that really true? Because yes we know each other and have for a long time, but this would be taking our relationship to a new level and all new grounds and adventures to have and figure out right? I don’t know these are the things my mind wonders to when I have way to much time on my hands to think or find things to keep myself entertained. But it makes since too.

A guy at the store stopped and was talking to me while we were getting gas and all the thoughts you have when you talk to someone for the first time be it a co worker, new friend or just a random whoever at the pump next to you. It is exciting or intriguing to get to know someone. So if you already know them pretty well it seems that there really isn’t anything new there to get to know or discover. I know that isn’t all that there is to a relationship of any kind and it isn’t what is important it was just a thought I had and maybe it was just an extra excuse I gave myself to keep him at arms length so that I didn’t get to close and get hurt. But maybe in doing that I have now hurt myself anyway because I let him get away.

Thinking about it I guess he would be one that was lumped into that category of What Could Of Been

I have been to blind to see that hey maybe here is my chance to have that. Or like I said before to scared to go there because I was to scared of messing it up subconsciously. Maybe now maybe I have messed it up and lost it again.

[…] it isn’t the same, the thrill of the hunt isn’t there the trying to catch them is gone. The Adventure  of it all and getting to know them isn’t there. I have always been one that the chemistry and […]

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