{April 28, 2019}   So This Happened


So me and oldest backed out of the driveway to go shopping for the week for them and I almost do not stop going backwards. I try pulling forward and again not stopping. I wait for cars to go around me get from behind me everything and pull back into the yard. Get out to find it gushing break fluid.

I get under it and look to find

the caliper leaking all over. I just walked away. I walked up to the store got the things we needed for the night and tomorrow. Then we came home I found

This the break laying in the street. I have no idea what I am going to do. I should be ahead and I’m not. I am going to be even further behind and sunk because I have no way to fix it and no one to fix it if I had money for parts and labor. I had to buy a washer a drier, have had both dogs to the vet bought a tire, paid and paid to get bills caught up. I can walk the 5.5 miles to my day job but I have no idea how to get 20 miles to my night job and 20 miles home. I can’t fix my truck for a few weeks because I have rent and things to pay. I won’t have it then if I can’t get to my 2nd job and lose it. I will be sunk because it is where I am making more money.

I have been doing so good with my depression even with all the extra things that have been happening because I knew I was going to still be okay and get ahead. Now this is bad really bad I have no idea what to do. Other than cry. I can’t ask bff because she is working and she dealing with her own crap right now she is hardly talking to anyone. She working when I have to be at either job. I really don’t talk to anyone else.

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