Please Help Me Understand Something

They talk about prepare for the storm, get water, bread, canned foods, flashlights, batteries and the list goes on.

They say so if we lose power, if we lose water. Once the storm is over we are not going to be able to get it stores will be closed. Then they turn around and tell you to leave as well. You will need it wherever you leave to. You will need it when you get back.

Now lets stop and think about this logically here. If this storm is bad enough you are telling me to leave and get out of harm’s way. If I do that I am going to go where it is not going to hit. Therefore I will be able to get food and water and all that kind of thing because they are going about life as normal. They are not about to get blown off the map or sink.

If I am leaving why do I want to buy all this stuff and leave it to maybe get blown away? Then I am still not going to have it when I get back or the money to get more because I bought that to start with. If I am leaving why wouldn’t I just wait and see if or what I am going to need and then get it and bring it home with me? Rather than buy it and take a chance on leaving it here or having to drag it around taking up room while I’m gone?

If I wait then I can buy things other than canned things like lunchmeat hotdogs bread and things. If I buy things now the bread is going to go bad before the storm even hits and the lunchmeat you can’t transport or it will unless you want to take a cooler with you. Then again how long will that last? And you are taking up room.

At worst I end up needing stuff for a day maybe 2. Then I take the meat out of the freezer and cook it on the grill. That way we have food and it isn’t wasting because we have no power. I have an upright deep freezer. I get gallons of water line across the shelf in the back turn packs of meat side ways and put another line of gallon jugs infront and let them freeze. Even if power goes out it will take about 2 days before things start to thaw out if no one is opening and closing it. So I still don’t really need to rush out and buy a ton of canned food and fight people for the stuff because if you have a grill you can still cook your normal stuff in the fridge.

Hell one storm we weren’t expecting and didn’t have a grill. We used an oven rack and some blocks to lay it on. Then made the fire under it and cooked a freezer full. The storm was supposed to go past and miss us and turned in on us at the last minute. Or we would of been better prepared.

I seen were people were saying if you don’t use all you buy during the storm don’t return it donate it. Because when it is returned the store has to throw it away they can not resale or give it away. I seen where employees were talking about how much they have to throw away after every storm. It is sickening when there are so many people out there who need it. But people will not donate because they spent money that was for bills and that weeks food. They are now trying to get it back.

It seems that if that much is being returned that we don’t need to rush out and buy tons of this stuff because we aren’t using it. People are finding other things to eat and do things even when the power is out.

I know the storms are bad and could be worse but again if we see the damage they hype everything up to be or other places have gotten. We are not going to have that food it is going to be gone you still have nothing if you stay like a lot of people.

I feel they do this all wrong and cause everyone to panic way more than is needed. I feel they use this to jolt the economy scarying people into buying things they wouldn’t normally buy knowing they will have to turn around and buy their normal day to day things when it is over. That will require more money or the return and trashing of food that someone could of used.

Hurricain, Not So Fun

So now we have a hurricain that may hit us. We have no idea until Saturday and everyone started losing their minds yesterday. Then this afternoon I get a text we are closing tomorrow so they can prep for it. I do not see where we really need to do anything for the shop but I guess they feel we need to.

I am not boarding my house up, I see no reason to the way it sits. I think it be a long shot for anything to fly into any of them. If something comes out of one of my tree’s it is going to hit my roof not my window. Bigger problems to worry about. But I’m really not worried. If it blows in under a 3 I am sitting in my house. If it comes more I have no idea where we are going to go or how we are going to get there.

I have to get 4 kids, two big dogs and two birds in my car. The dogs want to eat the birds. There is hardly room for the 4 kids. I told them everyone can take a few outfits of clothes and that is going to be it. One or two things they dont want to lose if we have room. I’m taking my dad and guns. They can take a blanket if we have room. I am so mad we don’t have my truck to even get out of here in. At least I would have room for the dogs and a few things.

I hope it don’t blow in here to strong. We have never had a direct hit but we get hit by the bands pretty bad.

My mom is all freaked out we have to leave and board the dogs and get a bunch of food. We are going to be without power for weeks. I am never without power more than a couple days.

She acts like I am hoarding money away I make so much. I am bleeding money right now. My rent is due Sunday, I have to pay it by Tuesday and I do not get another check until Wednesday. I am short a day this week from my day job since we are not working tomorrow. I am short Monday at both jobs because of the holiday and not getting to work. I was short my night job last week because of the thing at the kids school. That is $78 from being a whole weeks pay from my day job. If this storm messes things up to bad I may not get to work Tuesday and then I will be over a weeks pay I have lost.

To think I was excited the first of the month because I was going to have 9 paydays this month instead of the normal 8. That is gone now add the dog to the vet and whatever money this storm cost me. I can’t win. The last big one cost me over $1500 between missing work and money spent.

The Cleaning Lady Quit

So I don’t know if Pop’s was confused when we were talking and he asked about the other job and said Keep it to Yourself. Or if the guys think this is going to keep me. I have not decided yet. You tell me what you think.

Today I woke up and my back was about to lock up. It was all I could do to walk the little ones to school. I went home and laid back down for a bit but it did not help. I had to run to the store with oldest and get to work. I knew I was going to be late, I wasn’t in any hurry or trying to get in one. I hurt to bad and was scared to move. Worried if I did wrong it would lock and that would be it. I messaged the one owner and just told him I was going to be late not to forget a guy was meeting them there when we opened. He said no problem.

I wad about 15 or 20 minutes late. I was still in pain maybe more. I walked through the doors he looked at me smiling at first then really looked. He said are you alright?

I told him yes my back was trying to lock up that was why I was late. I said I was just trying to get going I wasn’t to quick. We walked into the office I sat down at my desk. We talked a bit and about the pain in the ass guy who had not shown knowing they could not wait around they had places to be. He said he was going to check the bus and leave if he hadn’t come by then to bad.

I said he will just have to drop them and come back. He said he knew who I was talking about. He said when he was leaving don’t let him give you not shit because we left, don’t take no shit from him he was late. He looked at me and said then again I don’t think your going to deal with much the pain your in. I said no I’m not either way he was told. He asked me before that if I wanted Pops to come in and work for me? I could go home or what. I told him no it would get better hopefully soon. He left.

Later not long before I closed the other owner come in and we were talking about a few things. Then he looks funny and asked if the other owner had talk to me lately? I said no, I said we talk I see him every day he is here. What do you mean? Something wrong? (Because they don’t go out together anymore the one goes Mon-Tues and they both go Wednesday and the one I was talking to Thurs-Fri.

So yeah I talk to him ofcourse. But the way he said it seem like something was wrong. We had not talked about anything of substance I guess you could say.

He said oh no nothing is wrong he was just supposed to talk to you because our cleaning lady retired. I said I wondered where she had been its a mess and the vacuum is missing. I was going to do the floors. He said yeah and she did my house too. He said but we talked and was going to see if we give you a $1 more an hour if you wanted to do it? He said you can do it why your here you don’t have to come in no special time or anything. I said yeah I can do that sounds good to me. He said you don’t have to think about it let me know. I said yeah I have no problem doing it. He said make a list of what I needed and he would get it and bring the vacuum off the bus.

Honestly I was cleaning before they hired the lady. Not everything scrubbed down. I was cleaning the bathroom mopping the office and bathroom floors and taking trash in those two rooms out. I wasn’t mopping the rest because we did not have a mop and bucket. I was doing it with rags and the sink the best I could. I was newer still and just didn’t mess with stuff in the shop. Didn’t want to break anything move something I shouldn’t or anything like that.

He went and brought in the vacuum from the bus and put it to charge. He said maybe I should get you a different vacuum one that is better something. I said YES I told him go get this one it is like $20 it has a normal vacuum head it plugs in not charges and it don’t have that ball thing in the head. Much better. He laughed and said okay. This thing is horrible we had one at the escape room it sucked too. It only last like 10 or 15 minutes pans has to be charged again. Our places are to big for that. It be okay maybe for the bus. I wouldn’t want to use it out there either really.

I told him I will do it for a $1 more an hour because honestly they could just say this needs done do it or this is part of your job and you have A LOT of down time do plenty of time to do it in. Why are we going to pay someone else to or pay you more to. They never have and didn’t now. There probably isn’t even an hours worth of work there a week to be done. I think she was coming every other week. I can do a little bit here and there as I have free time and feel like it or it needs done. So an extra $140 a month for maybe 4 hours of work. That’s $10 better than the $25 an hour I was making helping the guy sort papers and I am already there being paid anyway.

As I said I don’t know if Pop’s was confused or they think this will keep me. I am coming up on my year in a few months and I am going to still ask for a raise if I am still there. I am just going to tell them I have been here a year, you said start at $10 make sure it was a good fit we all were happy and then talk about a raise we never did. I was also told the first of the year you would take taxes and things but you haven’t. I am having to. That is fine but it is costing me more that way. I dont mind to keep doing it but need to make a little more in order to make it worth it. If they say we just gave you…..I am going to say no that wasn’t really a raise that was pay to do another job and that is saving you money in the long run as well. You pay my phone so I feel a $2 raise seems fair to cover a raise and taxes if you also pay me for the days we are closed for holidays. See what they say.

 

Bail Money

I may have to start a gofundme page to get bail money. Because I can not be responsible for what I do to this man over my truck. I am tired of waiting and playing games. This could of been fixed in a week and the 6th will be two months I bought the truck and have not been able to us it at all. A few hours the first night that is it.

I can not walk away from $4000 or walk away with a truck that I can not drive that has issues and needs work. I bought a truck that ran great and looked good. Looked as of it had been well kept and would last me and the kids a while. Past the 3 to 5 years I normally keep one.

Now this and he is just fucking around because I’m a women and he thinks it is funny and he don’t want to do anything for me. Everyone keeps saying you need a guy to go kick his ass, you need a guy to handle it. But none of them want to step up and help me out. Even the couple I have asked to call and deal with him or go talk to him with me have an excuse.

He was sent a list of parts again over the weekend because he says I never sent him one. Not that I should be sending him one anyway he should be getting it. But since he says he don’t know, can’t blah blah I sent it. He was supposed to get back to me. Here we are almost 9:30 at night and he still has not contacted me back. He said 3 different people looked at my truck so one of them could give him a price for what I am asking for in just a minute. (I am sure they have why he don’t want to go that route) my guy told me in a mater of minutes.

Today I sent him this……….

Have you figured out the cost of parts. I my truck or money back this has went on for to long just trying to get a price and list of parts. The work could of been done many times over. I can not keep waiting and doing without. My truck.

I sent this this morning and ofcurse ignored. I need to go over there but I I just don’t know what to do or what it is going to accomplish other than maybe going to jail. Because if he is in my face and gets cocky or nasty like he has on the phone, I might knock the he’ll out of him. Once I start I may not stop.

I can’t go until Saturday maybe I should start my fundme page now. Give it time to build up enough money to get me out if something happens.

Keep it to Yourself

Today Pop’s came in at my day job and did somethings I needed done. He took a break and came in and talked for a bit.

He asked if I had turned in my job application yet?

I told him no I was thinking about waiting until at least the first of the year before I turned it in.

He told me to keep that to myself.

I said what?

He said don’t tell the guys you aren’t or you may not.

I told him I wasn’t sure, that I was pretty set on waiting and I was. But then Little Bitty said something this morning and now I and second guessing myself again.

He said well I said something to the guys about you applying.

I thought oh great this isn’t good.

He said they are working on something for you. He said just wait don’t do anything and see what they offer you.

I thought it was a little odd when he was in there working I went and was talking to him. He askes me if the guys were out? I told him one was.

He asked if his son was or had been in? I said no he wasn’t and I hadn’t seen him much lately. He said oh not even Friday?

I said I seen him Friday for a minute he had a busy day he ran in paid me and went out for the day. He seemed surprised or like he was waiting on me to tell him some thing I felt like. But didn’t know what. I think maybe that was it he thought they would of made an offer then. Or told me what they were thinking.

I was thinking I would wait because of the holidays and things. You know how it is the new guy gets the crap days holiday and all that. I don’t want to be working the holidays right now. I want to school I am not sure I can work that job and my night job and do that.

But then Little Bitty said this morning. I wish you were here to pick us up at school and see us after school. That just killed me. I miss them so much and wish I could be there more. But I really can’t do it without the extra money two jobs gives me.

Now I am thinking about going ahead and applying and seeing what happen again. I am also worried about having to work six or seven days a week again since this other place is 7 days a week. Ugh mom life and figuring out that balance and just the right thing to do.

The Daily Four

Over on a Guy Called Bloke’s blog he has started a post he calls the Question Fun Directory or the Daily Four. I have decided to answer today’s questions. So here goes.

What was the worst thing you did as a child?

Growing up, what was your ideal dream job and did you bring that to a reality at all?

What were the things you both liked and hated about your schooling?

Where there is a will, there is a way! Do you agree?

 

What was the worst thing you did as a child?

It was my birthday I think maybe 6 or 7th. I don’t know I was young so I am surprised I remember it. But my mom and dad was there and they threw a party for me. We were at our house and there was a bunch of kids there. There were two boys around my age and a little older. They were my moms good friends kids and she use to babysit them for her. They had spent the night or weekend with us why their mom was working or away. So they had some things there other than just being there for the party.

Well one had his skateboard with him and we were out in the street in front of the house playing with it. I was laying on it pushing around with my hands and things. He decided he wanted it back. I wasn’t done playing and he kind of dumped me off in the street.

We end up standing in the middle of the street with the skateboard upside down. He had one set of wheels and I was holding it by the other set. We were pulling it back and forth fighting over who got it and trying to get it away from each other. I got it away from him and held it up and hit him on the head with it.

I think I still remember this to this day at 38 years old because it was a birthday party for me, I don’t remember having to many parties with friends. My birthday is the day after Christmas. I also do not remember my mom and dad being together and doing anything or my dad living with us ever even though they didn’t get divorced until a few years later. And my dad spanked me for hitting hi in the head and sent me to my room. It was my birthday party so everyone was having fun I was in my room with a spanking. It is the only time I ever remember my dad spanking me and that was probably worse to me than the spanking it’s self, or missing part of the party or anything else. Because My dad just never spanked me or got onto me for things. I was close to my dad and I wasn’t a kid who got in trouble often and he just talk to me or say something about what I did and we would go on.

Growing up, what was your ideal dream job and did you bring that to a reality at all?

I have wanted to be a counselor and work with teens or teen parents, addiction things like that. While I haven’t yet I have started schooling for it and hope to get started back next year and finish.

What were the things you both liked and hated about your schooling?

I didn’t like school very much at all. I felt that we shouldn’t have to take math, science, history and all that in high school. I felt we should be taking classes geared toward the careers that we wanted to go into. I still feel that by jr high/ high school we should be teaching our kids or have them in classes working on the path they are wanting to go into. I think at this point the other classes are a waste. I feel the same with with college we shouldn’t have to take math, science and all that then either to get a degree. But anyway that is why I hated school.

The only thing I really liked about school was it got me away from my house and a chance to see my friends. I wasn’t aloud to do a lot when I was younger and didn’t like having people over to my house because I didn’t want them around my mom and things the way she was.

Where there is a will, there is a way! Do you agree?

I 100% agree with this so many people make excuses because they don’t want to put in the work to get to where they want to be or have what they want. If it isn’t quick and easy they give up.

A Job Opening

I have been sitting on an application that is all filled out and ready to be turned in. I picked this application up Monday filled it all out and typed up a letter to go with it. I was already to turn it in Tuesday but never did. I keep second guessing myself and wondering if it is the right thing to do. I keep weighing the pros and cons of it all. One minute I think turn it in check it out if you get called, it don’t mean you have to take it. See what they are offering and decide from there. Another part says don’t turn it in if your not going to take it so you can apply there later. But I really want to see if I have the chance at it and what they have to offer if they offer it so I can decide. But I also know if they call and offer I am going to want to just jump and take it.

The new job is at a youth shelter for run a ways and other teens. They have a school and I am not sure what all there anymore as they have made changes over the last few years. I would be a direct care giver for the teens in the shelter. They say they have all shifts open, 6am-2pm, 2pm- 10pm and 10pm to 7am. They have full and part time open right now as well. I would apply for the 6 am to 2 pm shift so that I can keep my evening job because I would still need two jobs to make it. That would give me full time as well.

This mew job would be great because it would give me between 2-4:30/5 to pick up my little ones from school get their homework done, make them dinner and have that time with them each day. It would give me that break in between my night job and day job. I wouldn’t be doing 12 to 14 hours straight. It is $1 more an hour than my day job now. I am hoping with my schooling that I would get a little more than a $1 more. It would give me hands on experience and I would get training as well. It goes along with Social work that I have been studying in school. I want to work with teens, teen parents, and addiction when I finish with school. I am sure there is room with advancement there as well as I move through school and get more certificates and my degree.

But with this new position comes weekends and holidays, not being able to come and go as I need to. I would miss the kids awards at school and other school functions, field trips, and that kind of thing. I am not sure of all this but knowing it is a 24/7 shelter, you are working with kids who need taken care of, and that there are other people who you are working with. Unlike my day job now, it is just me and the owners, I just let them know I am going to be late, taking off or not coming in at all. That I have this or that at the school. We either open late, close or close early if someone can’t be here. Most the time Pops or one of the guys can be here or most the time. I can’t take the kids with me to work like I can here if I need to. I can’t say hey we are closing for this or that holiday. We again have kids there that need taken care of we have to be there. There is a lot of other employee’s to worry about and work around as well as myself.

I think about all that and I can’t see leaving here. But here I am making $1 less an hour. I am 1099 over there they would take out taxes I wouldn’t have to worry about all that. This is in the field I want to get into, I am trying to go back to school once I get my tax money next year since I have to pay out of pocket. But then i am going to be busy there all the time during the day where as where I am now I have time I could work on my school work and they wouldn’t care. Other than that and some at my night job I really wouldn’t’ have time to work on it. So if I can’t work on it during the day some I don’t know when I would. I know that the other job has a high turn over rate, because it isn’t great pay, you do have the chance of working weekends holidays and you are dealing with delinquent teens. I don’t know how they are as far as to work for or anything like that. I may look on line see what kind of things are being said. Hadn’t thought of that.

I keep thinking am I just making excuses? Why not jump and take it? This is a good chance. I tell myself maybe just wait and apply in a few months. I wonder why they have so many openings right now? Most the time they have one or two here and there. Not every shift full and part time.

I think my biggest thing is if something happens where will I end up? I won’t have this job to come back to because it will be filled. No one is going to give this job up and who is to say they would take me back if it was open or they didn’t like the person who was here? I have worked at a lot of places twice and been called back to some even after that. But it is bigger places they have more employees and things. I think they would probably take me back if I gave them notice which I would and they didn’t have someone. But that isn’t’ likely to happen. I have thought about asking for a raise and and some other things and if I get it then just staying here. The raise would give me the more an hour plus take into consideration that I am 1099 and wouldn’t be over there. I was thinking about asking to go to salary not hourly so that I would be paid no mater what. I took that into consideration when considering the 1099 factor too. Trying to find a fair balance for me and them. Also something do able for them and things because we are a small place. That is one reason I feel I should see what they are offering over at the other job as well before I figure out what to do if they will give me more since I have my schooling and things. I even thought they may have another opening other than direct care giver that I could do since I do have training, schooling and going to be in school.

So many things to consider and figure out and decide. I keep thinking if I don’t turn it in they are going to have them filled by the time I do. But then again I figure if they are then it wasn’t meant to be and that if it is meant to be I will get called whenever I turn it in.

If I didn’t like my job here and didn’t have the leeway that I do I would have my application in already. If it was enough pay that I only had to work one job I would be as well too.

So many things to to consider figure out so I can make a decision. I guess I have to get off here close up and get to my night job. If I leave much later I won’t be able to get out of the parking lot or over the bridge for 10 or 15 minutes. It’s funny how a few minutes make such a difference in traffic.

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