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Dating and Pictures

Have you all checked out the facebook dating thing they have going on? It is better than that meet me disaster they had before. I looked at that once for a minute or two and that was more than enough for me.

I seen the other day they have something new simple like them or don’t click and go. You put in a little bit of information about yourself and the what you are looking for. You can answer some other questions about yourself and add pictures.

one of the questions is do you have children and do you care if the other person has children? No big deal I have no problem answering those. I have noticed that a lot of people who say they have children add pictures of their children or of them and their kids. I don’t know what I think of that. I never thought to add pictures of my kids or of me and them. As you all know I keep them out of all that kind of thing. It just seems odd to put pictures of them up on a site that your looking to meet people on. Is that just me or am I being unreasonable?

While we are talking about pictures lets talk about some of these other pictures guys are posting on there. They look like killers, mugshots, or video still shots the cops use when they are looking for someone. Then you have the ones that are half naked or in towels. And is it a rule that you have to have a fish in your picture if you are on one of these things?

I hate the pictures of myself and hate having to put them up there or anywhere really. But if or when I do I am really picky about the ones I put up. I think maybe it is just the area we are in. We still have that really shallow  Dating Pool.  That probably explains it all honestly.

Unbelievable–Netflix

I just finished watching this true show this morning. It was very interesting and kept you glued to the computer wanting to know what happen next. I finished all 8 episodes in two, two and a half days.

It is a real an eye opener in the way things are handled so differently from department to department. How being properly trained or caring and not being rushed to get to the next case or get one closed can make such a difference.

I truly think that the first cop in the beginning with the young girl was not caring, understanding or properly trained in dealing with these kinds of victims. I also feel that maybe when these kinds of crimes are reported they should send women cops out to talk to them, take the report and deal with the women directly to help them feel more comfortable talking and having to go through what happen.

It is about a girl who someone broke in her home and raped her, the push her into saying she made it up. Later to have the same guy rape a bunch of other women in different areas. Two detectives from different departments come together and figures out it is the same guy and go after him.

I am glad the girl in the end thought to get a lawyer and go after the city. I just wish she had held out and made it more known what she was doing and why and went after more than just the city. Maybe the detective himself.

Feel Like Stirring The Pot

Not just for my ex and his employer but for a lot of people’s ex’s and their employers too. I may have said this before but not sure as it has been a little bit since I was told. But I have been told that I can sue my ex’s employer since he is paying him under the table and keeping me from getting child support. I didn’t think it would be to easy to do and it would be something else to take time. But it has been in the back of my mind, I have been mauling it over when I think of it. The other night I was laying in bed thinking about it and it seems so easy but hard at the same time. I kept thinking there is something I am missing about this. I decided to go on line and look up about employers and their obligation to withhold and all that.

I found that little golden nugget of information that sparked that ah ha moment. I was trying to decide how to word it to get it to pull up the information I was looking for. After a couple of tries somethings popped up. One caught my eye it said something .gov. I always look at .gov sites over anything else if I can because they are more trusted sites.

It said something about the employer lying on court documents and what could happen if they did. It said if they say a person does not work for them, that does that is lying on court papers and the punishment that could be given for doing this.

It is just one of those little pieces of the puzzle that you don’t think about or that don’t seem like anything until you figure out that it really is and does.

I said to myself this could be in my favor all around here. If I collect pictures, video,text and anything else that I can and file papers to sue him in the court and he gets it. Then I hit him with the fact he has lied on court papers and can also end up being punished for that. Maybe he will think better of it, help father of the year pay what he is behind and start taking it out of his check and sending it in every week. (Wishful thinking I know) If he don’t want to do that then maybe it will scare him enough that he tells him he can’t keep working because he really don’t want to be involved. I don’t care what they do if he starts taking it out or truly fires him. Either way is fine with me. Because he will have to go somewhere and get a job and then he will be on the books and they can start getting something from him. If not he gets another under the table job, I will be quick to inform them why he lost his last job and that they can either comply with child support or I will go after them just like I did his other employer. I will have proof of him working there before I let them know this and send it or show it to them at the time.

If trying to find another under the table job is the route he goes and that don’t work for him then he will either just not work or again go get a job that is on the books. If he stops working fine I am not getting anything from him anyway so no different for me. But he then won’t have money to be going out to dinner, party, rent or things that he needs. Let him see what it is like to not have, let her see what it is like to lose things again and homeless or whatever happens. If he don’t do right let him do without like my kids have.

Once I figure it all out and see that I can do this and that he can get in trouble and things for doing this, I am going to make it known that it can be done. I am going to make it known everywhere I can to everyone who will listen. Because there are so many out there not getting the help with their kids that they should be and like me working two or three jobs and just getting by while so many more of these deadbeats walk around without a care.

If this works and you can do it, I am going to post it everywhere, facebook, craigslist, next door, let go and any and everywhere I can think of and let everyone know there are other ways to get things done even when child support enforcement won’t or can’t help. Check this out, lets all work together, help each other get pictures and proof of these guys working. Lets do one better than that, lets make a list of all the places these deadbeats work and make it known that they help these guys get out of paying child support and boycott them. Put it out there for everyone to know. \

Maybe this will make these places either 1 stop lying to the court and start taking the money out of their checks. 2. they will stop giving these guys jobs because they don’t want to be involved in it. So then these guys are going to either have to start paying regardless of how they work. Again have to get jobs that are not under the table or like I said not work and lose everything or figure out how to get by.

If everyone pushes this and stands up and says no more lets hold the employers accountable too maybe a lot more people will start getting at least something.

I can go even one further and point out that even if your children are grown you are still owed any and all child support you should of gotten. It is not to late to collect. Shake them up too. I am so done with these guys walking away and paying I am going to shake every tree I find to shake and stir every pot that comes along. Because if we don’t this is why this kind of things goes on and keeps going on. Someone has to stand up and say enough is enough and change things.

I figure I may as well do anything and everything I can do since child support isn’t doing anything or taking their time and doing no more than they have to. They sent him a letter on the 17th of this month saying he has 20 days to make a payment or they are going to suspend his license. What a joke, it already is from last time. Even though they gave it back he never went and got it.

Oh and the passport they were going to put a stop on, it never got done. I seen in the file this afternoon that there was some kind of mistake and it didn’t get done. Not that it matters or he was going to ever get one, but they can’t even get that right.

I am going to go for now but stay tuned once I am done researching and get the ball rolling I will keep you all updated on how things are going. Until then I will leave you with this one question to ponder…………………

And from my understanding they can not count both of my jobs when figuring out how much child support I should be getting. Because when I was looking up the laws and information about the employer I found some other information. It says when they are deciding how much child support one should pay they should not have to work two jobs to pay it. I don’t remember how it was worded but basically it said if one was working two jobs at the time, support should not be so much that they have to keep working two jobs to have to pay it. It should be figured on one. From what I see it is the one that is 40 hours or close to 40 and they can up it to 40 even if you are not making 40 in a week. But my understanding whatever one you are making the most money at is the one they use. So there for when they skipped putting my day job on my case with father of the year it was because they only use one and my night job I make the most at. There for when they told me to put both on my paperwork for the case between me and RC they were wrong there. I am going to make a day to go to the court house and talk to the lady there about it all as well because child support isn’t handling my case correctly as far as I am concerned.

Worried About My Boys

Last week bff called me and told me that she seen on R.C’s ex father in laws page that his wife died. I didn’t even know that she was sick or had been. I hadn’t really looked at their pages in a long time. I look once in a while and look at pictures and save them for my Little Bitty. She don’t know she has brothers or sisters but I want her to. I plan to tell her, but I don’t know when or how. It will probably be in the not to far future. She has made comments about her dad having other kids but hadn’t put the two together. I don’t know what will happen once we go to court once we get a date. But I am sure that things will probably come up.

I do not know how things are or have been with the boys and their mother. I don’t know if she has been doing okay or not. I know she had another baby around the time I had Little Bitty. That guy wasn’t in the picture and she was staying with her mom. I know they seem to be doing pretty good there. But I think at one point she had moved out and they may not have been talking by somethings that her mom had posted on her profile. But then someone told me that she had been staying there and helping with her mom since she been sick.

But I know that someone else passing away was when she started taking pills and ended up hooked on them. Even if she has been doing good all this time and things her being there taking care of her mom through this and then her passing I am worried this could push her over the edge. Her step dad is back over seas working like he has been the last 7 or 8 years. She passed on the 29 of August he got in town that day or night and left around the 17 of September. I don’t know if he has plans of coming home to stay at any point or not. I am guessing probably not if he didn’t all this time that his wife was here and sick and things. There isn’t really anything to come home to.

But at this point the boys really have no one to look out for them and take care of them if she don’t or gets back on something. I worry where they are going to go or what is going to happen with them. I kind of wish that I had reach out sooner and tried to let them have a relationship with them. Maybe it would have worked out and at least I would be seeing them and know if something was happening or going on. I don’t know at least give them someone to talk to come to for help if it happens.

I don’t know how the kids are doing or handling all this either because they were all so close to her. If she is in any state of mind to help them deal with it all either. I worry about that as well.

I don’t know if she is online or post much because I never see anything from her. Once in awhile he will post something but not often since he isn’t home. Most the time the things I got were from the moms page. I may watch and see when he is going to be home again and reach out to him about getting the kids together. See what he says. I honestly hadn’t up to this point because of the mother. I didn’t want to get involved with her and the way she is. I figured she would tell her not to. Just the way she was in the past.

Feel a Road Trip Coming Up

I have been in a mood lately feeling very restless and wanting to get away. I want to take a road trip. I am going to shoot for the next 3 day weekend we have. Hopefully it will be a day that the shop is already closed.

I think I will take off Friday and leave out that morning. We should get where we are going by that afternoon or early evening around dinner. Spend from then until Monday there. Leave out after lunch Monday and head home. We should get home in time for work and school.

I think I am going to go up to my friend J’s house and stay. She has the room. I will probably take one day to see my cousins. One is about 30 minutes away from her. See if the other one could come up and meet us. She is about 2 hours away. Or maybe go see the one that is 30 away then leave a little early and stop and see the one that is 2 hours away on the way home. Check all three areas out. So I can get my plan into motion.

I have to get these birthdays over with and decent checks rolling in again first. Then Figure out when I will have money to go on. My friend wants me to come for Thanksgiving I may wait and do that then take the extra day and have 5 days to go. Leave out after work Wednesday. Drive up to GA hang out a while. Eat sleep a little and make the rest of the trip up to SC.

I just really want to go before that and then maybe go again then. Just excited to check some things out and get to working on some things. I will have to tell you more about my plans in another post.

Christmas and My Birthday, On My Mind

I know it is still a ways away but I have been thinking about the two. The boys really want a PS4 and oldest really wants a laptop still. Little Bitty wants everything and nothinng. A bunch of little things nothing as high price as the other three.

I am looking at getting the boys the ps4 together and a game to share. Try to find oldest a decent laptop. I will probably get Little Bitty a tablet and a few things.

I have made my mind up that if I can swing it and get what they want I am putting a side $150 to $200 for me for Christmas and My Birthday since it is the next day. I want another tattoo or two or three. It will depend on how much I can put away and what ones I decide to go ahead and get as to how many I will be able to get.

None of the ones I want are really all that big, but some are detailed and that can cost more than a larger piece at times. I am not sure if I still want the bird and cage on my foot or not. That will cost a decent amount probably close to $125 give or take. Probably give more than take. Unless I can get my friends guy to do them he does really good work at really good prices. He does them from home so he don’t have all the overhead to worry about. If I can’t get him for some reason then I hope the guy that did my quarter is still at the same shop and I can get him.

For the most part I want my ankle braclet, probably my bird and cage and I still want something for the little two. There are a few more that I have been tossing around but I will wait and see.

With the guy my friend uses I should be able to get all 3 and have money left depending how much I get.

I was thinking about what I would like to have and how everything gets messed up forgotten, lost or just sits to be looked at. I thought this is something I want and have wanted for a long time now. I work my ass off to make sure bills, rent and everything else is paid. The kids may not have everything they want but they have everything they need. So if I can give them what they want for Christmas why not give myself something for a change?

Shelter In Place

I drop the little kids off at school and ran oldest to the store before I headed out. I was going to run to the store to pick up lunch and stop to get my coffee of course. I wasn’t in a rush I had an hour and half before I had to be at work.

As I left I seen a sheriff car pass me and go toward the school. I thought it was a little odd because we are in city limits and it would be local police that would go. But I figured no big deal there could be any number of reasons it was going and went on. Not thinking anymore of it at that point.

I went picked up my coffee and headed to the store for lunch. I got my wrap made and picked up a half gallon of tea. I got to work a little early was thinking about eating a little of my lunch and getting my day started. I pulled in the guys were here getting ready to leave. I thought they would of been gone but they weren’t. One was on the bus the other was in the office. I opened up put things away and got ready for the day. I went to sit down and check the phone when I pulled my phone out of my pocket and notice I missed a text.

I read it and it said that the kids school had been put on a shelter in place but it was over and they were going on with normal day. They said there had been a threat made online against the school.That is great they checked things out but who is to say that nothing is going to happen later in the day or as the kids are getting out of school?

The one came out of the bathroom and said he was leaving. I said so am I, I have to go get my kids. He said what your leaving too? I said yes but just for a little bit. I will probably be about 10 minutes late. I told him what I got on my phone. He said he would call Pops and tell him to come in. I told him if he wanted but we should be okay. He said he was going to call him. We walked out and I locked up we all left.

He asked if I they were going to give them to me or I was going to be able to get them? I said I don’t know what they are going to do or say but I will be getting them. I got all the way home and to the school and noticed I walked out and left my purse at the office and of all days my drivers license. I remembered I had a picture of it on my phone. I hoped they would let me pick them up with that. They let me get a pass to eat with them and everything with it. I figured they were already going to give me a hard time about checking them out and then tell me because of it all I had to have it not a picture. But I got there and just told them I needed to check out this one and that one and they called them to the office pulled their paper and had me sign it. They never asked me for my license at all. I was not sure how I felt about that but when I told her and she was getting their papers she called them by last name and knew who they were. I think they know me as well since we have been there every day for the last two years.

I don’t know what to think. My first reaction was to go get them then I thought no everything will be fine. But then I thought about how scared my little one was and how much the drill upset her last year and I didn’t want her sitting there knowing they thought something was going to happen or was. I thought I know most nothing is going to happen but what if I don’t bring them home and it does happen? I would rather be safe than sorry.

The kids were all excited to see me and ran up to give me a hug. They were asking why I was picking them up. I asked them what they did so far today and they said school work and telling me what they done. I said did you have a drill or something like that. They said they sheltered in place but it was just a practice like all the other times. I told them no that it wasn’t just a drill that they had a threat something might happen at the school and I decided to bring them home for the day.

Mr. 8 said oh thank you mommy you are so good for worrying about us and trying to keep us safe. I am glad they weren’t worried or scared. But at the same time I think they should know in case something happened they would know what to do.

Fresh, But Not To Fresh

While we were waiting to see what we were going to do for the hurricane, if we needed to stay or go and where Mr. 8 spent a lot of time in his room. He was playing with toys and just laying around on his bed. Like me just hanging out bored and waiting.

He came into my room laid on the bed with me and was talking to me. He told me he had decided he wanted to adopt 5 kids. He wanted to adopt three boys and two girls.

He was asking me how much it cost to adopt and things like that. I looked it up on the phone and told him it was free or very cheap if you did it through foster care. He was asking about that, what it was and things. I told him he had to be 21 to adopt that way.

He said well I will get a dog and buy a house at 18 and hang out until I am 21 and can adopt my kids. He said I have thought about it, I want them to be around 5/6 but not 7/8 years old. He want on to say he wants them fresh but not to fresh.

I said what? Fresh but not, to fresh?

He said yeah I want them to be potty trained and be able to do things for their selves like eat and do fun things. But I don’t want them to be 7/8 because that is to fresh.

I asked him why 5 not 4 or 6 kids? Why 3 boys and two girls? why not more girls, less boys?

He explained that 5 kids would be enough chose how much did I think he could handle? He thought he could handle 5 but not more. He said he is a boy and knows about boys more than girls so that was why he wanted 3 boys and only two girls.

He is such a sweet, caring and thoughtful little guy. I hope he stays that way. I hope he grows up and does get to adopt and have his 5 kids. Maybe by then he will decide that he wants a wife or girlfriend. For the last few years and even now he has said he don’t want a girlfriend or wife he will just have a dog they are less trouble. Oh and he don’t have to kiss them and a girlfriend or wife will want him to kiss them and that is just weird.

My oldest mr. , Mr. 13 wants to have an orphanage when he is older and all the kids are going to get a pet and he is going to take pictures of them and show people to find them a home.

Job On My Mind Still

I have been thinking about that job a lot the last few days. I had decided it had been filled and probably wasn’t a good idea right now. But then I seen it listed again yesterday or over the weekend and they still have all shifts open. So I could probably walk into the 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. shift with no problem.

I was thinking today how much I am missing out with the kids even if it is just a few hours after school doing baths and bed. I was thinking how nice it would be to have that break in the middle of the day with them.

But then I think about most likely giving up my weekends, holidays and things. I just don’t know.

But it was nice seeing the kids last week when I was off and just playing and relaxing with them. Today when I droppped them off at school and said I will see you tomorrow. I just had this sick feeling.

Its so hard to know what to do. What is right or wrong.

I keep thinking like I was before apply see what they offer. But then if they make an offer and I don’t think it is going to work how do I decline and not burn a bridge in case I want to go there later? If I take it how do I tell the guys what is going on and that I am leaving?

Then I keep thinking maybe it’s a sign and I need to go for it. Stop being scared and just make the leap.