Single___Parent___Life











{November 4, 2019}   Can’t Offer You More

I have talked about my good friend on here a lot, not to long ago in my post You Prefer People Like Me. We talk a lot and back years ago he told me he liked me he had always liked me but thought I wouldn’t be interested in him back in the day. I had liked him and was interested but I wasn’t one to say anything if they didn’t. This all came up when I was going through my divorce and he was separated from his wife and filing for divorce.

It was never really said as a I’m interested or want anything more now kind of thing. We were just talking about the past how we grew up, when we met back in 3rd grade then losing touch for so long and meeting back up again later on. He said something about liking me and still liking me when we started talking again when we were in like Jr. High and High school. He said he didn’t think I would ever be interested in him or some one like him. He always just watched from a distance. I told him I had been interested in him too. But that he never seemed to be in me so I didn’t think anything of it or to say anything.

We were friends and close when we first met when we were kids. There was a group of 3 or 4 of us that always played together every day and say together at school and things. Then we lost contact for a few years and ended up back at the same schools in Jr. High and High school we were friends but not as close as we had been. We seen each other and talked and things but didn’t hang out as much. Then after we got out of school we started talking more and it just kind of went from there and we have gotten pretty close again as friends. But over the last several years he has made it known he is interested in more. we talk and joke and things. He is that one person that I can tell anything to and go to for anything and if he can will help in anyway. But he is like me he is always busy and most always working.

When I am having a ruff time I will message him and we will get together and talk. even if just for a few minutes. He is the one that came over the night I was upset abut my dad and drank all day. I posted then about A Good Friend. I think that is when I really started talking about him on here.

 

That says it all, when I am having a ruff time I don’t even have to be that bad but he will come over and give me a hug and I can’t help it. It’s like he is that one comfort person that I can just let it all go and be venerable with. No matter what is going on. He don’t judge or make me feel like I am wrong for the way I feel or that it is my fault or that I shouldn’t feel that way. He will say yeah they are assholes or your doing all you can or whatever. He don’t sugar coat things either he will tell me I’m wrong or I’m being a bitch or whatever if I am. But he will help me figure out what is going on and what to do about it or how to handle it. Just let me vent when I need to.

But then he is always making comments about how things are at home and how he caught her cheating or talking to other guys, sending other guys pictures and things. A while back he was talking about divorce and she don’t do anything or take care of the kids and he is worried about them. I know she don’t I have been to their house and seen it. I can’t believe how it is and that she lives that way. I can’t believe he does either but like he said he is working 7 days a week. 12 to 16 hour days over night and then has to come home clean, cook, take care of kids and maybe get a few hours sleep if he is lucky. She works a normal 35 to 40 hour week but don’t cook or anything. I have heard her tell people before when they say something about having 3 or 4 little boys. Being busy and things she says he does it all I just see them a little before they go to bed.

Back in June he is wanting to hook up and hang out and things when I said something about going out and trying to meet someone. I told him he knew that wasn’t what I was looking for and things. He said he knows but that is all he can offer right now and his responsibilities and not just walking away from them. I wouldn’t expect him to do that. But I am not into “hooking” up and “hanging” out either. I want more and need more. Even if I didn’t I am not interested in that with him, not at this time. No mater what things are like an no matter how much I know about the way things are and the way they are with their relationship I am not looking to be in that situation with anyone. There is no doing anything if they are married or seeing someone, with someone. Just not what I am looking for or how I am.

He said it wouldn’t just be hooking up or a cheap whatever. I do have love for you, I just like I said have other things I have to take care of and can’t offer a relationship or what. I told him I can’t. We can be friends we can hangout, go out or what but it can’t be anything more than friends. He says he knows and he understands. Like anyone else we talk, joke around and make comments here and there. But then he sends me things like…….

This  talking about wanting to cook dinner together every night fall asleep together watching tv. wake up to morning sex, late night conversations and traveling the world together.

What am I supposed to say to that? How am I supposed to take that? What is he trying to get me to say? What does he want me to say?

Dose he want me to say go ahead and divorce her so we can be together? That I want him have feelings for him? Want to give this a try and see where it goes? That we will be together forever if he does? That I want the same with him? If not them what does he think sending it is going to accomplish? He already said he can’t offer these things.

To be honest I don’t know that I would want a relationship with him if he wasn’t with her or if they did get divorced. I wouldn’t rush into anything with him just as I wouldn’t and haven’t with anyone. As much as I want more and want a relationship and something that is going to last.

It would be hard because we have known each other for so long, know each other so well and know what each other have been through and where we are coming from. It would be so easy to just say okay lets be together and just do it. But then at the same time getting together in a relationship is a whole different level. We are great as friends but that don’t mean it is going to be great if we are together and going to last. But then you do know each other and know everything it is hard to not just rush into things. It don’t leave much to get to know about each other or what. How do you take it slow when you already know everything?

But I also know we are so much a like we may kill each other if we tried to be more. I think if it ever came to that between us I would be the one talking about lets just see how things go, see what happens. As much as I hate that and hate being told that, with him I think it would be the best approach because I know how he is.

But to get things like that out of no where when your not even thinking about that kind of thing with them and wouldn’t consider it because of circumstances and the things they have said leaves me a little confused.



dawnautom says:

Personally I would say someone like that is just a player trying to get what they can from you and their not to be trusted.

❤️✌️
BY FOR NOW



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