3:16 a.m.

I am laying her stretched out in my bed wrapped in my blanket. Wishing I could sleep. Thinking about my friend who is probably up growing to the hospital for her surgery about now. I am worried about her. It is going to take about 10 hours to do it. I feel like shit I was going to call her and got busy at work and it got to late. I talk to her a few nights ago. She is scared. I feel so bad for her. I so wish I could be there for her.

She wants me and the kids to come stay with her for a bit so we can move up there where they are. I just want to go see her even if just for a day. I miss her being here and hanging out.

I have other things on my mind as well and in one of those moods where I don’t really feel anything just a void or emptiness. I have been feeling lonely a lot lately. It sucks when you want to feel that closeness there isn’t anyone there.

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