Single___Parent___Life











{February 10, 2020}   Finally Another Beach Night

Saturday Bff called and said she was going out so I went with her. We picked up JW and went to a pool hall over on the Island. We got there it was packed and none of us really wanted to stay. We left and was going to go to Apple bee’s or this other little place I go sometimes. I wasn’t really in the mood to be out around people. I said lets go to the beach. We can get some drinks and take out there walk or just sit and talk. We decided to do that.

Then she was talking to a friend she hadn’t seen in a while and he decides to go with us. We went back and picked him up and got stuff to drink. We went to the pier where I always go and some lady told her they were closed. I tried to tell her we park their all the time it did not matter she was scared and left. We ended up about 6 blocks or more down and parked. We all walked out there started walking down the beach. Next thing I know we look behind us they aren’t there. They had sat down somewhere. We kept walking for a ways and decided we were ready so we turned around to find them.

We sat and talked for a while once we found them then in a bit they got up and started walking again. I was like wait I want to go back to the truck give us the keys. She wouldn’t said we would leave her or what we would do in her truck or something. I said I am tipsy I am not driving and he can’t either. By then they were away from us.

I had to go to the bathroom and decided we were going to walk up this walk off the beach to see if there was a store or something around. We got over the walk and there was the bar. I said we found a bar and a nice big truck. JW laughed said you and your big trucks. I said yep like my trucks. Lets take that one for a ride joking.

The way the bar is set up it different since it is right there by the beach. Its long two sides then all open on the end you walk the length you come in the front walk straight out the back or vs versa. Most of it you are sitting outside. I said lets walk around to the front and come in because it was crawled in the back and all through the place. I really had to go and did not see the bathroom from where we were. We walked around he had one of the beers we had with is open drinking it. I said they are going to make you get rid of that.

We got to the front there were bikes parked there a group of bikers and the bouncer standing around. I knew they were going to stop him I stepped through them walked in amd straight to the bathroom that was right there by the door. As I walked into the bathroom I heard the bouncer say something to him about his drink. I thought yep knew it. He going to be standing outside or arguing with this bouncer when I get back out there. I come out look around he is standing in the bar watching the fight no drink. He come over we walked out. I said what happen? What did he say about your drink? JW said he told me no drinks outside the bar I had to stay inside with it, I said yes I understand walked in with it and finished it so we could leave. He thought we had just come around the building from outback drinking.

After that we walked back down to the beach and started walking back toward where we had parked. Anyone that has been to the beach knows that if you park walk down the beach it is hard enough to find where you came down at if you walk to far down but if you come up on the street and try to walk back you may never find your car. In the dark you may as well forget it. That is why I park at the pier and walk down. I know when I get back to the pier I am where I need to be. Anyway Saturday when we first got down on the beach I stopped was looking back at the walk, the buildings everything around. He said what are you doing? I said looking around. I was looking to see something that would make me remember where we came down and parked. Off we went down the beach. We got back to where we came down and walked up the boardwalk, he was asking if I was sure that was where we came up. We walked up on the walk stood there talking for a bit and he walked down to see if the truck was there. It was he came back. I thought we were going back to the tuck. I started walking toward the truck and thought he was behind me. I guess he went to tell them we found the truck I started walking because I figured they were who knows how far down and I was just in my moods to walk. I walked up to the street and started walking. About the time I got down to the pier he was calling me asking where I was at. I told him and I kept walking. He said they were coming to get me I told them I was walking up to my old job to go to the bathroom again. They were telling me no stay there everything. I told them I crossed A1A and was almost at my old job but they were closed. By that time they were there. We went up to the little store and then to get something to eat. Her and her friend took us to his place and dropped us off. I stayed there for the night.

Saturday was 5 years since my dad passed and I was already not in the greatest moods. Feeling really depressed and then the kids decided that they were going to fight like hell all day. I Tried to take them out and got pissed off and took them home and gave them dinner and got them ready for bed. I took Little Bitty to bed and made her go to sleep before I left because she was the main cause of all the fighting. Then I left. Bff was going to pick me up and I decided to leave take my car. I called her and told her to meet me at his house instead. If I wanted then I could stay there and would have my car. The mood I was in I was not going to drink at all because I knew it would turn out bad.

I ended up laying in the back seat in his lap and crying. Bff said I was telling them they knew not to let me drink. That when we got back to his place she thought I made him man and he was going to leave me and I was going to have to go home with her that night. I guess me and her friend was talking about relationships, sex, and things like that. Her friend said something about going in and being with him, I guess I said I didn’t want to do him. I didn’t mean it that way, I just meant that we had talked about it and wasn’t rushing into things and the mood I was in I didn’t want to be with him like that. I want that to be when I am in a better mood we are both into it. She said at some point around there he kind of put his hands up and walked away to the house. I told her I didn’t think he was mad that everything seemed find when I had left that morning.

We talked a while before I left and I told him I was sorry and things. That I knew it was a bad time that I shouldn’t have drank. He was just like no big deal, it was fine, I didn’t do anything wrong, they been there, he understood. That I wasn’t going to get rid of him that easy. I had a lot on my plate and to deal with and he just wanted to help me with that and that we all need a break sometimes, that it wasn’t that much of one but he hoped it was something. That is was so nice to fall a sleep together and wake up together and that he was happy.

I love him I feel bad that things turned out the way they did. I was going to get one drank and drink that was it. Then they didn’t have it and we ended up with a 6 pack. I ended up drinking most of it. I drank it to fast as well. It hit me hard.

I told Bff that last year about this time was my bad moonshine night. But that at least Saturday wasn’t near as bad as last year when all that happen. That hey I didn’t scare this one off. Maybe he is a keeper and plans to stick around.

I swear at this point no more drinking this time of the year at all. I know when I should drink and when I shouldn’t just like I didn’t drink New Years eve because I knew I wasn’t in the right place mentally and that it would end up pretty bad. I was already depressed and mad that night too. I told her we needed another night like my birthday a few years ago. When we are all in a good mood and just have a good time.



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