Single___Parent___Life











As I said in my last post JW’s aunt called why we were having lunch and ask us to dinner. She is. Down staying with his other aunt for a few days. So we went over to see them. I had never met them before. I only really know his mom and brother. I met his dad once or twice when we were younger but he wasn’t around much when we were growing up.

Tonight was two of his aunts one’s son and his girlfriend that was there. They were all really nice. It was a really nice night. We sat and talked while we waited for dinner to finish. After dinner we went out and watched the rocket launch. Sat and talked for a little bit longer and now we are home. They were all really nice and welcoming.

I am tired and wore out. It sucks because we haven’t done anything for me to feel this way. But I have drove about 150 miles today. The aggregation of running around wasting time for something that they didn’t have when we were debating where to go and decided to go there just because of the car show since they don’t have it all the time. Oh well. He is watching Black Panther and relaxing. I’m really not interested in it. I think I will go take a relaxing shower, fold the clothes make the bed and go to bed. I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I worked Saturday to make up time we missed during the week. Took me 6 days to get 39.5 hours. I should of had 44. I had done 4 hours last Friday to make up for the day we missed the week before. Half day at over time would be more than i would of made had it been a normal 8 hour day. But then we missed Tuesday this week i had to work this Saturday and have them put it on this check to just touch 40. Hope we don’t miss any more.



{August 30, 2020}   Disappointing Trip to Kissimmee

I wanted to do something fun just me and JW and get away for the night/day this weekend before I go home. I looked up things to do around us and found a car show in Old Town/Kissimmee area. I wanted to go over last night when he got off and get a room get up go to the show and walk around. But we didn’t have anyone to stay with the dog and he gets off so late, we decided to just go to bed early and get up early to drive over. We figured we would be getting there about the time the cat show started.

I wanted to see what Old Town was like since I hadn’t been there before I took the kids. Then it said there was 2 or three flea markets right by there as well. I figured it would be a nice day out together. I know he likes to look at the old cars and I do too and I love to go to flea markets yard sales and thrift stores.

Let me tell you we got over there and it was about a half hour before the show started. When I finally found the place. It wasn’t where or what I thought at all. We pull in and there is no one around. No cars set up no one setting up and not even area it looked like anything like that would be going on. No other people around like they were coming to see them and no one around getting shops open or ready to open even. We drove all around and through the place and seen one person the whole time. KW got out went and ask when the show was and where. He told him the car shows were Friday and Saturday. He told them their site said a special one today and the guy said no he didn’t know what he was talking about.

I tried to pull it up on their site and it had been taken down. JW knows it was there as well because me and him both were looking at it and reading about it last night. They could of said this or that happen we aren’t doing it or what. We left I was disappointed I plan this for him now they are not having it. We decided to go to the flea markets. They had 3 right close there. The first one no one was around it was still closed even though it said open at 10. It looked like a store for tourist not a flea market so we left.

I go down the street we stop at this other one it was a big in door place but more like a flea market. One lady doing hair was set up and open. Everything else was blocked off and closed. The office was right there the door was open. I said what time is everything open. He said oh we open at 10 but venders and the booth people start trickling in between 1030 and 11 sometimes later just whenever. We decided to try the other building we seen a few people around. The door to it was locked and we left. We found another one a mile or so up the road and stopped. There was a handful of places open but still way more closes than open. It was closer to 11 at this point. We left stopped went to the bathroom got a drink and headed home. It was so bad we stopped all those places drove the trip there and back in 3 hours. 120 mile drive.

We were going to go to Daytona it was an hour from where we were. But that was taking the major roads and tolls and all that. I was not in the mood for all that. We decided to head home then figure out from there.

We ended up just coming home and going to lunch. His aunt called wanted to know if he wanted to come for dinner tonight so we are going over there. We finished lunch and went to do laundry. Now we are back at the house. Dropping everything off getting ready to go over there.

I’m still not happy about our day out getting messed up.



{August 29, 2020}   New Glasses….Again

A month or two ago I went and got new glasses once my eye insurance kicked in. Well they haven’t been working to well and I hate them. I can see to drive pretty good and do things like that. But when I am sitting at my computer I find myself squinting and getting closer to the screen. In the end I end up looking for my glasses only to find that I have them on. I kept meaning to call but with everything going on I would forget once I had time to call or they would be closed. The other day it happen and I just stopped everything went outside and called them. That was last Friday they finally called me Wednesday and had me come in the next day.

They looked at my new glasses my old ones and decided I needed to see the doctor again. I was supposed to of been able to see him that day but couldn’t. So he said he would see me today Saturday. Again they said he couldn’t do that either I don’t know. But I went back today and I guess my eyes are a mess.

I guess I shouldn’t say a mess because I know people with much worse and mine are fine compared but I feel a mess. He did a new exam and then took out these glasses type things he had there and had me put them on. Then he gave me stuff to read and changed the lenses in them a few times and had me read the paper again.

He said your 39 your eyes are 40 already. They change and you start to see different issues and things from your normal glasses. He said I fixed your astigmatism and so that you see far away. But now it is to much for your eyes when doing stuff up close. He said it might be time to start looking into a progressive lenses. He said it isn’t horrible and we could just back your script off a little. But you won’t see far away as clear. Or we could do progressive lenses, but he was worried I would have trouble getting use to them. He said most do but there are about 10% chance they won’t work. For me he felt it probably wasn’t the best way to go.

I ask him what about getting a 2nd pair? And he said that was an option he didn’t know how I felt about having two pair having to keep up with them or what. I said i need them for work and to drive. Sometimes I wear them more but not often. I said I would leave the one’s at work because it would be about the only time I needed them or when I needed them the most. The others I could leave in the car so I would always have them. He said talk to the ladies that handle the ordering of the glasses and figure out what would work best and we could do whatever I felt would work but he thought for now two pair was the best idea.

I knew my insurance gave me so much off a 2nd pair so I decided to see what it would be to go that way. I talk to the lady and she said it would be $50 to $100 depending what frames I decided to go with. My insurance gave me 40% off my 2nd pair if I picked glasses from this one area or I had to pay everything from the other area. Of course the ones I wanted were in the area insurance didn’t cover. But that was in my favor in the end. They cost me $50 for frames and lenses. The others started at $140 for frames then the price of lenses.

When I first sat down I said I have a odd question. She said what? I ask her what it would cost for me to make the glasses I have into my computer glasses and then just buy my 2nd pair? Because I hate the frames I picked out after I got them back and really started wearing them all the time. I don’t wear them as much as I should because I don’t like them. She looked and said I can do it so it don’t cost anything but the one pair of glasses you are going to already buy.

She put it in as a script change and as they were not working for me. That they needed to change it so I could work on the computer. Then I just paid for the 2nd pair and we made them my all the time ones. They said they allow for a one time script change so long after you get them. So that was how she was able to do it.

I was so happy. I could not see wearing the ones I had all the time for another year or two. Because I don’t wear them as much as I should or want to because I didn’t like them. But they will be alright for just sitting in front of the computer at work for hours. My other two pair from the last few times were red and one was purple. The ones i got the other week were a brown dark copper like color. I like them just not on me all the time. I got a blue pair this time. They didn’t have others my size I liked. They are all wire frames. I don’t like the plastic bulky ones. I hope I like them better.



{August 27, 2020}   Covid Encounters Pt. 5 & 6

I went to work at normal time Wednesday and the other lady in billing was the only one there. I asked her if she knew who the other person was who tested positive and she said it was the other HR type person. He I guess got his test results back that day at work from one of the ones he took last week. She said the HR lady said she couldn’t tell us and that we really needed to stop talking between us and telling each other who it is. We all feel no that isn’t going to fly we want to know so we know if or how much we been around them and things. She is the other one who is waiting on her test to come back from last week and this week. And feels she may have it she woke up not feeling good yesterday or today and now her husband.

Me and the lady in billing were talking we are glad they aren’t going to let anyone back in until next week and then just a few. Then when we were leaving last night¬† the owner’s wife came up. They talked a few minutes she left. She came knocked on my window and said she told her he is thinking that he isn’t going to let anyone but us come in for two weeks. That is fine with me. I think we can get caught up and organized without everyone there. She don’t have 10 people calling her away every few minutes or 20 coming asking questions when they aren’t calling her away. The normal everyone in and out doing their thing distractions aren’t there.

Today I went in 2.5 hours early at 7. The other lady gets there at 7 and leaves at 330. I don’t really want to sit there alone for 3 hours after she leaves. Plus I had an appointment for my eyes I had to get almost to the other side of the county for. So I needed to leave at 3/330 as well. This way I would get my 8 hours in.

We were talking this morning about how and when they should let people come back even with negative test. She said new girl was pushing to come back Monday. We both said no way she needs to wait and get another test and wait for it to come back. That she needed to wait at least a full 10 days from last Saturday before getting it really 14. The Hr lady called her and they talked. She got off the phone and said she wanted to come back tomorrow Friday and Saturday her test is negative but that New girl she was going to have to talk to owner about. The billing lady there with me told the hr lady she would talk to me and see how I felt about her coming in and let her know. I said her office is in the back and she can use dispatch printer and scanner if she needs to use one. That keeps her over 6 ft away from us. I said it kind of jokingly but kind of feel that is how it should be. She is having sinus issues and it probably is she has had 1 more test than me I think they are all negative. But like I told the other lady, I am not worried about catching it being sick. I am worried about catching it and not being able to work for 3 or 4 weeks or how ever long it takes. Because I don’t have a set up to work from home. Then if my kids get it and it is bad I will miss work to be there for them as it runs through 4 of them. She completely agreed and understands.

But we decided the hr lady and one dispatch lady could come back they are in different ends of the building than us we don’t have contact and all test have been negative. We were comfortable with that if they were the only ones for a bit. She talked to the hr lady and told her. She said she still had to talk to the owner to see what he thought or how he felt.

In a bit she called her back and said owner said no one would be coming back until further notice. Not anytime soon. Not even the hr lady until her issues are gone. He don’t want us catching something else and passing it around on top of this or bringing our system down leaving us open to catch this. We are fine with that as well. And agree.

We feel he should wait a week or two more before bringing anyone back other than the hr lady if her stuff goes away and she is negative. Then slowly bring one or two of the ones who have tested negative all along back staggering them out. A couple a week. Then slowly bring the ones who had positive test back but make them get a test like Wednesday or Thursday before the monday they are to start back and get results first. This making sure they are over it. Until we hopefully have everyone back in the office and no more cases.

No one is going to miss work because they all can work from home. Most are on salary and getting paid. So it shouldn’t be a problem. A lot of them want to work from home anyway.

I feel like we are on one of these tv show’s and instead of voting people off we are voting people in. I told her earlier we are just going to tell them they had their chance at this and failed. We are taking control now. These are the one’s who can come back and when. The rest need to work at home until we decide they are safe and then these over here we would rather not bring back at all. We can do without them or replace them.

I forgot yesterday she told me when she was talking to the accountant he said he told owner he needed to give me and her some extra for coming in doing our job’s and taking care of everything else that can’t just be left until when ever. She said yeah are we getting hazard pay for all this and keeping everything going? He said no really they had already been talking about giving us something and he was going to talk to him about it again and push it. That would be nice. Like right now if we were not there the place would come to a stop basically. No one else at all knows how to do mine or her job or where to even start if they wanted to do it. Then she has to collect all the payroll papers and things that go with it. Bag it up and toss it in his trunk when he pulls up so he can do what he needs to from home. It is just to much to send by computer. I have to go get the checks load the printer and let them print the checks. Then I have to find all the bills and match to each check. Package them all up so that the owners wife can come after we leave and get them. I have to put each envelope through the postage machine so he can mail them once he signs them. We are not talking 5 or 10 checks. We are talking like 35 to 50 checks. That is the new accounting person’s job but she has this too.

If we weren’t there making sure this gets done or that billing gets done no one would be working. Because if we are not getting billing done to get people to pay us there would be no money to pay the drivers or us in the office. Them drivers do not get paid they will leave that truck where it sits jump on a plain and come home. If we didn’t get payroll paperwork together for the one that is at home they still wouldn’t get paid.

She has also gotten to look at the work the new girl has and hasn’t done and really see what is going on. She has found out she has stuff from July she has not taken care of like she was told and said she did. We are figuring out new ways to handle things and do things that work better for me and her because new girl has everything a mess. We are going to put some things in place and she is going to have to do them this way. Because what she set up is not working at all. I know she isn’t going to like it but that is to bad. She already got in a huge argument with the boss because he told her to change something because the way she was doing it was not working for how things are done. She blew up. I think the other billing lady i am working with hopes she leaves. A lot of people there want her to and have complained about her. Just like telling them she was coming back Monday.¬† Not asking when or how they were handling things. Billing lady said today someone needs to tell her she has only been here a few months she needs to step back or this isn’t going to work. But she isn’t going to listen. She won’t put up with it for to much longer she is going to say something.



{August 25, 2020}   Who Has Had A Boudoir shoot?

I really want to do this. I was going to about 8 years ago but never did. I would love to do one for JW’s birthday in mid October. I just don’t know how to find the right person to do it. I have been following some people on line who do them but don’t know if I can pay their prices right now. If I hadn’t lost my other job I would of been able to. I know a few people who do photography for fun or hobby. But I don’t know If I would feel comfortable with them. I am not sure I would with a stranger either.

I have thought about doing it myself but not sure how that would turn out or how I am even supposed to do that. But I have been researching it since I seen something about it on line.

I have been looking for a few outfits to wear already. I want to to a few shots in his favorite team’s shirt. He just got a new shirt and hat over the weekend. I am going to use them. I want to find a few other things to wear as well. I have even been showing him some to see how he likes them. I just send him a picture out of the blue say i like that or i kind of like this or what do you think of that.

I have even been looking up different poses that I like or shots that I want to do or try. I have also been looking at different backdrop and props. So I can find them or see if the person I end up going with has them. Some have a living room set up or a bath set up most have a bedroom set up.

So far I like the bed, chair and a large mirror set up. Maybe a window and shower but not a tub really.

So have any of you done a boudoir shoot? What was your favorite pose? Outfit? Props? What was your husband’s/boyfriend’s? What advice do you have for someone who has never done one?



{August 25, 2020}   Covid Encounters Pt. 4

As the world turns so do the covid encounters and the positive test that come with them. Monday there were only 8 of us there. I received a phone call a few times and didn’t answer. Number was one I seen but the area code seemed like it was a scam call. I was there to pick JW up at work and it called again. I didn’t answer. Then I got a text that said who it was. I called back. It was the HR lady from work. She was on her cell not the work phone. I guess I hadn’t saved her personal cell in my phone. It not says work I didn’t know.

She said she had to let me know that there was another positive test and it was someone who was there with us today. That the owner wanted up to go be tested again. We could work until 12 today but had to be out by then. They are coming to clean the office again. She said if I wanted to come in early and work til 12 that was fine. I told her I would be there by 7. That would give me 5 hours. She said okay.

In a little bit she called back and said the owner changed his mind felt it was better to not have anyone back in the office u til it was cleaned again just on case. That he was trying go work out a plan to get most everyone out of the office and working from home. So there would only be me the other lady in billing and maybe the two HR people. The two HR people are in the two back corners of the building so not near us or each other really. They could come and go out the back door we could use the front door. Only time we may see them is if we had to go to the bathroom 3 of us would have to share the one. Or if we had to go to the kitchen.

The only one’s that would be close to each other would be me and the other lady in billing. We sit close enough to touch each other. But she sits behind me and faces the wall. Don’t know how much that really matters. But so far we are one of the few who haven’t caught it. They may split us up there would be room to move me to another room for a bit. She has been really careful to not get it and clean. More than anyone there really. I honestly not worried about working with her so close. I am not really worried about catching it. I am just worried about missing work.

So we are up to 8 cases out of 17 people in the office. I am about to call the HR lady to see what the plan is from here. I don’t know what the point of cleaning the office and bringing everyone back tomorrow without having their test back. Anyone of us could come up positive now. No one yet has been sick or had a fever or anything.



{August 22, 2020}   Not Dealing With Shit Tonight

As you know I am staying with JW for my covid cation as I am now calling it. Anyways no one lives in the house across the street they use it for meetings or parties. It is a biker clubhouse. They ask JW if they could park in the yard before and he said yes. Well they know I come over here and need room to park and almost never leave me room. To me it is just rude. Someone is letting you use their parking and you do not leave them room for even one car. They see me come up trying to park and know where I am going not one offers to move.

So today I come home and see people gathering over there and a car already parked in the lot of the empty place next to us. We are in a duplex. I pulled up across our yard kind of half an X. And just off the road into our parking/yard area. I have a much larger vehicle than before and they are not going to not leave me room to park or block me in so I can’t back out. I am sure they are pissed, I seen them looking when I parked and got out. I don’t care. I hope they say something I am going to tell them had you not been so rude every not for a week or more last time I wouldn’t care. But since you were I’m making sure i can park and get out. They will have the street and yards so full all the way down you can hardly drive down without rubbing another car. They want to start I will have them towed or their pow wow broke up. I don’t care if they are bikers respect is respect you get what you give. He say’s it’s the bikers I told them they could. But to me like I said before they know someone lives there even if they don’t have a car they may have company leave a space don’t be an ass. Then night after night they see me come over there don’t offer to move or take my space as soon as I leave. Not knowing if I am going to the end of the street to the store and back or what. Or not moving when i get back. Nope rude and I am not playing their game.

They want to talk about the bad image they have but all they do for the community. Then be that way. Seems the image they hold is for a reason and they are just putting on a show for the community. I got news for them they are nothing more than people and I’m not scared of them.



{August 22, 2020}   Covid Encounters Pt. 3

Today I went in to make up hours since I missed all of Thursday. The new girl was there, two dispatch and one HR. Me and the new girl talked for a bit as I worked then she went out to smoke. She came in and said that one of her covid test came back positive. She was one of the one’s that went to the school Wednesday Morning when we first found out. Then went to the med clinic when they thought they would get results back faster. Then she went and took the rapid one yesterday. Rapid said no yesterday but the clinic one said positive. So now she has 3 test two negative and one positive. Work told her she has to get another negative now before she comes back and sent her home.

I hear the guys in the other room talking the owner has it, the dispatcher who started this, we have a guy who just floats around does a little bit of everything. He has it my “boss”. I said K that works with my boss and P who just got sent home. So like we were up to 6 people. The guy that I worked with who’s place I was supposed to take messaged me a little bit ago and said he is positive. He only had the one test that takes days to get back. So we are up to 7 out of 17 who have a positive test and 2 I haven’t heard anything about. One is on vacation so won’t be back for a week and hasn’t been back since we left Wednesday. The other comes a few hours a week here and there.

Not one person has any symptoms, fever or anything like that. No one feels sick or would of ever had any reason to think they were or needed to be tested.

As I type that I can’t help but wonder if it wasn’t covid we all had the end of last year. It seems funny to me that most of the one’s who were sick and so sick last year are the one’s who are testing negative. The one’s testing positive were not sick like the others of us were. I still have to question how good the test are as well. Are these positive test really positive? How do we know? Now we have like with P three test two in one day one two days later. One of the same day test says yes one no and then rapid 2 days later says yes. The positive was the one taken later in the day.

On top of that now they count test not people for their numbers. So now they have one positive and one negative for same person but it is just going to be counted as 2 different people. How can they not see this is not correct ways to report. How can people know this and blindly be scared into believing all the doom and gloom? It isn’t just her but everyone there that got 2 or 3 test with 2 different results. I could even see if they had a positive and inconclusive. Or negative and an inconclusive. But not straight one and one out of so many test and so few people. Or like her 3 test 2 results.

The test seems no more reliable than playing pin the tail on the donkey. Close your eyes spin the paper mark a result. Open eyes that is what you are. No test needed, no time wasted waiting for results and just as accurate.



I went to work today and only 6 of us showed up. The two HR people or like people, two dispatchers, me and the other lady in billing. New girl showed up got the money for the test and never came back even though she tested negative. I am not sure why she came took the money for the test if she wasn’t coming in because she should have her others back by Monday. The owner and our boss were questioning it as well and she may not be reimburse for it since she didn’t come in today. That was the deal he would pay so we could work today and this weekend. We don’t work weekend but they ask us to if they did this. To get work caught up and let us make up hours.

The accountants didn’t come either. The one that is our “boss”already told the other lady training us in billing he wasn’t he was taking a long weekend. But the new one would be in. She gets there at 7 and wasn’t there when I got there at 930. Then he called me around 11 or so and told me both of their rapid test came back positive. So they can’t come in until they get a negative. He had not received his test from Wednesday but she had. Wednesday’s test for her said negative but the rapid test from yesterday or this morning said positive. So she has to get a 3rd one now that isn’t rapid and wait for it to come back negative. If it don’t then she has to wait and get another one until it comes back negative. He is supposed to do the same and he say’s he is just waiting for his other from Wednesday to come back. HR said no that isn’t how it works once a positive shows up your negative test has to be done after that.

Like me and the other lady in billing were talking he is doing 2 of 3 other things on the side all around people going in their homes and things. If he has it then it is probably from that not the guy at work who got it because he is not around him. They next to never come into contact with each other. And it makes since that him and the new accounting lady’s test are the only other positive so far. Because they are closed up in this little office together a couple feet from each other. They can have the door open but they have it closed a lot and even with it open it is still close and pretty closed off. Cluttered and not real circulation.

If they had gotten it from the other guy then seems that the two guys that sit right next to him in his office and the one who rode around in the car with him all the time would have it. Or even one of us from billing we are in talking to him about work stuff all the time.

Now I guess our exposer time frame just went from last Friday to two days ago Wednesday. Because we had no idea these two had it and we were all around them Wednesday. Hoping that no one else test comes back positive out of this round we should be done with this and in the “clear” for exposer from this incident by the first. We all have to go be retested around the end of the month again. Knock on wood we all come out good can be done with this and not have to deal with it again.

I have to call tomorrow and get my results from my first test they haven’t called me yet. I think I’m fine but hey so did the first one who tested positive and the other 2.



{August 20, 2020}   Here or There Not Happy Anywhere

As I told you in close encounters of the covid kind

I am at JW’s house since i got off work last night. I could of went home but it is nice to have a little break. But I feel so uneasy and stressed. When I am here I feel like I need to be there and when I am there, I feel like I need to be here or should be. I just want here and there to be one so badly. I am so stressed over it all.

I told JW my test came back negative that I wanted to go home but I didn’t. He said yes but I needed to go home and see my kids. I told him how it is right now that I walk through say hi and go sit in my room. He said oh. He said it’s up to you. But he don’t seem to excited that I’m not going home. I said something about it he said no he loves having me here. But that he kept me awake last night and things. He tossed and turned all night last night. I don’t know what is wrong. He tells me a lot of times he does. I was already stressed so it did wake me up but it wasn’t like I was mad or worried about it. I was just asking if something was wrong or what. I was hoping we would get to talk some tonight or this weekend why I was here. We have been talking more it has been nice but it seems like some thing has been bothering him for a bit now it seems like. But he don’t say anything.

He is so different than what I am use to being with. Then me doing with all I am and have and trying not to bring past things into our relationship. We are just going to have to sit down and really talk about us our relationship. Not us what we need to do or want to do or working on or any of that. But us how we feel about our relationship between us. I don’t want to go through the motions hoping or thinking. I want us to make sure we work on that bond and why we want the things we do. Not let that all get lost in what we want or have to do.

Last night I went shopping after work to pick up some things I needed and picked up something to make for dinner. I came home and started dinner then ran and picked him up. He walked the dog while I finished dinner. We had to run to the store then we came home he took a shower. I went ahead and took one was going to get a drink sit down with him for a bit. Then i came to get a drink and started cleaning the kitchen. I had made comments hoping he would do them why I got my shower or put dinner away or help me but he didn’t. He went laid on the bed and watched tv.

He kept telling me leave them come lay down. But like i told him why we were out I got stuff for tonight I had things to do today wouldn’t have time. Until time to cook I didn’t want to do them then. A few times he asked me if I wanted him to help me. I didn’t say anything. He went back in the room. We talked back and forth why I did them. I say room its one big room with wall in the middle to make a bedroom there is no door. Its like a studio almost.

It kind of made me mad. I felt he should of just came and helped or done them if he cared. I am not going to ask him to help me or tell him he has to or ask him to in that situation. I feel like I cooked he should of said here you cooked let me take care of that or it’s late let me help you so your not here all night. He even said something about how long it took me. Don’t get me wrong he wasn’t saying to be nasty or mean or in a way. Just that he didn’t think it would take me so long or shouldn’t have. I was hurting wasn’t rushing. I don’t know maybe I am wrong to feel that way.



et cetera
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