Back to Back Court Dates

Today I was bored and nothing was going on so I decided to check child support site. I checked my case with RC and it said they issued a court date yesterday.

I looked on their site and it didn’t show. I went to the clerk of courts and it did not come up on there either. The one for father of the year still is not showing up either. I have not received a letter for it.

I went back to the child support case and clicked to chat with someone there. After a million tries I was finally able to. They were kind of rude but finally said court was at 12 in the north court house. We have to be there on 3/2.

I was a little confused because these cases are held in the South court house. But then I remembered that this case has to go infront of the judge to start with because of the DNA and all that. So I guess they handle it in the north court house. I am sure it will end up in the South once it is all done.

The north court house is much closer and easier to get to so I don’t mind. The South one is over 30 miles away and I have to be there at 8:30am. The drive sucks and takes forever with work and school traffic.

I am not worried about the one with RC. I am sure he will probably phone in since he is up there. But even if he wasn’t the thought of seeing him don’t bother me.

But I am dreadding the one with Father of the Year. I do not want to be around him or see him again. I hate that sick panic fight or flight feeling I had once he got there. I think my friend JW is going to go with me. We were talking about it today he said something about he hoped I didn’t feel that way this time or something. I said me too but I figure I will. I was going to ask my friend to go but I have not talk to him in a long time. I think he is mad at me. I said I will suck it up go and find a little spot between two people to sit. That’s what I done before.

He asked when it was I told him. He said he could go with me if I wanted him to. I told him he did not have too but it would be nice that I didn’t want him to get in trouble at work. He said he wouldn’t he wanted to go with me. I hope he can go. I really do not want to be there alone. I don’t know anyone else to ask to go with me. Bff said she would but she did last time then didn’t. She has to have kids to school and things as well I don’t know how she would go.

It’s really nice of him to offer to go with me seeing he has to miss work and pay to do it. I will pay him what he missed once I get the behind amount I’m owed. I know he don’t want it or expect it. But it means a lot to me and I want him to know.

I know it probably sounds stupid that I don’t want to go alone or that I want him to go with me. It’s court, but I can’t help the way I feel. I shouldn’t have to go do this and feel that way while trying to do it. I hardly ever well really never have anyone help me or with me as support. Sometimes we all need that emotional or moral support when we have been through things. Abuse is a huge thing to go through come out of and not have some issues from it. If this is the worst I need help with then I think I am doing really fucking good and proud of myself for working through the bulk of it. I was even considering asking my one boss from my day job to go with me. That is how bad I have been dreading it.

Court Round 2 Finally

I have been looking at the clerk’s site and child support enforcement to see when my court date is since they posted last week that they were sending a date in the mail. They have not updated them. That isn’t normal because the clerks site is updated daily and a few times a day most the time. Anytime something is done someone is updating it.

I contacted child support yesterday evening before I left to go to my other job when I could finally get through. They said that my court date is Feb the 26th at 8:30 am. I am dreading going, I have been since I seen it said they had set one and sent the letter. I hate the way I felt when I seen father of the Year last year. I don’t want to feel that way again. Bff says she will go with me but she said that last time too and didn’t. I am thinking about asking my friend I have been hanging out with if he would go with me. He knows it is coming up and that I am dreading going. I told him how it was last time.

I also asked them to check on the case with R.C because that was done back in October and they have done nothing with it since then. They said they are not sure why something wasn’t done they are waiting on a court date. She said she is going to send a paper over to the lawyer or courts and have the look into it. So hopefully they will get that going and we will go with in the next month or so as well.

Father of the year is over $3900 behind I don’t know who will give him that much money to get him out of it this time. As much as it would be nice to have the money I kind of would like to see him do some time for it this time. Maybe he will see that if he don’t pay it this will really happen. The threat wasn’t enough to make him keep paying. He figures oh well I will just borrow the money or what once it gets to that point. But maybe if he had to do time because he couldn’t get it then he would think hay maybe I should just pay it before it gets so out of hand and I can’t get the money. Probably not but wishful thinking. If he is borrowing this from his boss and his boss is taking it back weekly out of his pay check then it is taking weeks, well months to pay back. What is the difference if he just pays it to me every week and it not get so far behind and his kids have what they need. Would be much easier than not paying it, having to go to court, scramble for the money and risk going to jail or going and having to spend who knows how much time there and now risk losing your job and house and everything you have had given to you. Because we all know he didn’t get it on his own or work to get it. His boss gave him everything and now hopes he works enough to at least pay him every week.

I am going to bring that up to the judge as well why we are in court. I’m going to say to her, can I say something?When she says yes I am going to say I want to ask him some questions. He says he is working he just isn’t paying weekly like he is supposed to. He says he don’t have it to pay and don’t have the $3900 to give today. I would like to know where he is going to get the money from? Assuming he is going to have to borrow it or try to borrow it he is going to then have that to pay back weekly. How does he pay it back weekly once he gets to this point but then says that when he isn’t paying on it he can’t afford to pay me? What is the difference if it comes out and goes to someone else to borrow what he pays me when he gets to this point vs him just paying me weekly and not getting to this point and having to not only now need to pay me but also have to pay that back weekly or monthly?

I am going to also ask if we can’t get this back in court like after him missing two weeks or a months of payments not a year just about. I am going to point out the fact that he is working he admits to working and just not paying it, but that he pays it once they pull him in there and make him so he has the means, can and will just won’t. I hope it all goes well.

Contempt Again and Finally Served

I hadn’t really thought of the deadbeats and child support in a while. I am not sure the last time I checked on it really. For some reason today I was walking through the shop not really thinking about anything and something said check child support enforcement. I went on and forgot about it.

Later this afternoon after I finished up working and had some simi free time I thought of it again. I looked up the case on Father of the Year first. It is showing over $2900 owed but it is more I know. It said just today they sent something to their lawyers to file contempt of court against him again. I figure we won’t get a court date for that until next year. It was aroumd this time last year when they finally did something and we didn’t go until May 15.

Then I looked at the case with R.C. it don’t show anything new so I looked it up at the clerk of courts site. It showed on the 19 I think it is returned or proof of service.

I went back to the child support site and chatted with someone there. She says he was served on 10/2/19. This shows you how long it takes them to get it in the computer and everyone to get the info. She said we are just waiting on a court date for that one too now. I am sure it will probably be some time next year as well.

We get in court I am going to ask about contact and all that. If he wants contact what I should tell her because she has been asking.

I am not looking foward to court with Father of the Year. I do not like the way I felt when he walked in the last time we went. I have to find someone

At least once they get onto R.C and make him pay he will. This with Father of the Year is going to be just another go in tell him to pay x amount of what he is behind and let him go. He cry to mommy and daddy or his boss and get the money. He will skip on about his way and not pay the rest of the year. Why we are in there I am bringing up his rights and getting rid of them.

At What Point Do You Trust The

I can’t have kids statement from a guy? I been talking to bff and she met this guy at work (big no no) she has been hanging out with. The other night she stayed at his house. I said she was going to end up pregnant. Was laughing and joking around. She does with me all the time because of my friend and because I did with RC.

She said nope he can’t have kids. I busted up laughing and said you didn’t or don’t believe him do you? She said yeah he said he can’t he….

I stopped her and said yeah you know how many guys say that or how many thought they couldn’t and have kids now? This is the 34 year old she been talking to. I said his ex’s have probably been on birth control. No no he says because of abuse when he was younger he can’t.

I don’t buy it. I am not saying it couldn’t be true. But I feel it is unlikely. That he is just telling her this. Just like they like to say oh this once it won’t happen it will be okay. Or I won’t finish blah blah bullshit. Come on we know how these guys are and when they are younger for sure. He is young maybe he wants kids, maybe he just isn’t worried about if it happens, or it hasn’t yet so he thinks he can’t. There is no way I would trust that at all. But she is and believes it.

I was thinking about it, how do you decide if they are telling the truth or not? How long before you trust them enough that you believe them? Do you want proof from a doctor first? Do you just never trust it or believe it? Unless you just don’t care if you get pregnant? If you don’t believe them how is that going to work if or when the time comes you want to be with them? They aren’t going to want to use anything. Do you get on birth control and not tell them? Refuse to do anything unless you all use something?

I just do not know if I would ever be able to trust someone who said that even if I was with them long term. Unless I knew test were done and heard it from the doctor myself.

I just know for me I am done 100% done and I would be so scared to risk it. I would always be worried about what if. I know it could happen even using something. But I am most the time really careful then too. I track my cycles so I know when I am at risk and how high, I use protection sometimes two forms. They still pullout. Honestly there have been a few times lately I have taken a risk. But to me if something happen it would be my fault because I didn’t do all I should or could of. Where if I just blindly believe a guy who says he can’t have kids and end up pregnant that opens a lot of problems other than just getting pregnant.

What if a girl tells a guy she can’t get pregnant? Should he believe her? How long should or would one wait before they did? Or should they ever or should they want proof?

Because lets face it girls have said it just as much and probably more than guys and a lot of them have done it to trap guys and they did because the guys believed her.

So would your answer be different if it was a women telling a guy she couldn’t get pregnant for whatever reason vs. if it was a guy telling a girl he couldn’t get her pregnant? Why or why not?

I hope you all give your opinion on this because it is something that you hear a lot both ways. I think it will be interesting to see everyones thoughts and the guys vs. girls on this.

55+ Community

Friday night I worked later than normal and then had to backtrack over by my day job to find my bumper. That’s another post I will tell you later. But once I did that I went to my little store I normally go to so I could get my coffee on the way home.

I came out and there was a guy in a little red sports car backing out of the space next to mine. He stopped and was asking what kind it was and talking about what a neat car it was. Then he pulled back in and was talking. We talked for a bit about cars and different things. Then the question came are you married or have a boyfriend. I said no he told me he been divorced twice and things.

He proceeded to tell me how he was from the other county over and was on his way home from a POF date. How it didn’t go so great. There was no spark. He says I’m paying she goes all out orders this large thing with lobster. She could of just got a small. I’m just looking at him like your really saying this and trying not to laugh.

We talk a little more and he starts telling me about this great 55+ Community that he lives in!!! How they have 3 or 4 pools and a salon and barber and all this stuff there for them to do and use. How the kids would have so much fun if I wanted to bring them get away and come hang out for the day or weekend. I’m just grinning shaking my head and thinking. You think dinner tonight was bad because she oredred lobster and large. You have no idea what doing anything with 4 kids is going to cost. Not that I would expect him to pay but you get the idea. And does he really think that I am just going to load my kids up and drive 50 or 60 miles to spend the day or weekend with some guy I talk to one time in the parking lot of a little store? Even if there are “no strings attached” as he said. This just sounds safe in so many ways. For all of us, think I will jump right on that and make plans. As soon as I win the lotto.

My phone started ringing it was the kids. He said you have to get that? I said yeah I better get out of here I should of been home already. He said here I will give you my number if you would like to go out sometime give me a call. I said oh okay thinks took it and said have a good night got to go and left.

Why can’t I find someone decent closer to my age? He wasn’t really someone I would be interested in, the one from work seems nice and decent but what 15 or more year age difference is just to much. Then what do I have to pick from these 20/21 year old kids or the stalker. It would be nice to have just one close to my age that was interested and I didn’t have to worry about coming up missing or losing my eyes or something.

Maybe I am just meant to be alone. I really don’t think I am asking for to much and most say I should be asking for more so go figure.

34 to 54 and Us in-between

Over the weekend when me and Bff went out and we were talking she told me about this guy at work who has been talking to her. She said but he is only 34!!!

I laughed and told her I almost went out Wednesday for a drink with a guy from my night job before I had told her I would go with her. But I didn’t because I am not interested in him that way and I know he is. The kicker he is 54 or around there. He told me he had his first son when he was 25 and his son is around 29 now.

Then there is me and her 38 and 41. She is freaking out because he is so much younger and I am freaking out because he is so much older. She said something about the guy at work and his name. They have the same name.

At least there is only a 7 year age difference between him and her. But I am with her he is still so young. He has no kids never been married. I told her it don’t hurt to have some fun but be upfront that she just wants to be friends. Nothing wrong with dating or going out as friends.

The one at work is a nice guy but 16 year age difference he is like my moms age. I just can’t go there. He been married, divorced and has kids, he works, has his own place and things.

On top of that we all work together. Well not all of us but the guy she is talking to works with her and the one talking to me works with me. I don’t want to go there.

Why can’t we meet nice, decent guys closer to our age that have their shit together?

She is Finally Starting To See

A while back I wrote Sometimes You Just Want To Shake Somebody talking about Bff and this mess with Sleeping Beauty.

I hadn’t seen or talked to her in while and she called me last Sunday and then wanted to go out this past Wednesday. We didn’t talk much Sunday she was on her way out of town to her uncles funereal. Wednesday night was when she ended up taking everyone with her and I didn’t go.

She called me Saturday right after me and the kids got home from shopping and dinner. She wanted to know if I wanted to go to Apple-bee’s with her for a little bit. I told her I would go with her but that I wasn’t eating I had just got done eating and was full. She said she was just going for an hour or so. She came and picked me up and we went.

She started talking about Sleeping Beauty and how things were and things he was doing. She said Wednesday when she asked me to go that he was laying down the kids were in bed already. She said she told him she was leaving and where she was going and that she was going to get in the shower. He said something loud enough for everyone to hear. She said then when she got out of the shower they were all up and sitting on the couch ready waiting for her. She said she told them she just wanted to go alone and things. They started. She said even after I said I wasn’t going they still ended up going. She yelled at him because it ended up costing her over $30 when if it had just been me and her it would of cost her $5 to $8.

She said he is supposed to make her car payment that is his “rent” I started to say something and she said but I’m not holding my breath that he is going to do it. I and that he hasn’t been home since the night before. I said yep not surprising. She said something about her mom saying something about him being there and the way things are. She was going to say something if he did something or didn’t do something.

Later we were talking and she said something about counseling and things. She said her youngest daughter who is like 12 talks about him when she goes all the time and things. Says that she wants him to go with her next time and that they are letting her bring him and wants her to. Said she talks about her like trash there and things. I said there is no way in hell I would let him go and start that. They take the kids back by their self and he would go back and her not there. I said I do not trust him at all not to say something just to try and start shit or cause problems and when they see and meet him they are not stupid they are going to see what he is all about and what he is and that could start problems for you as well. She said she didn’t know what she was going to do she didn’t tell them they could or couldn’t go. I really don’t think he will go because he knows they aren’t stupid and will have him figured out. I also feel that if he does go it isn’t going to be good.

Something was said about them going to the woods and all this. I said yeah and you went and bought him a car or toy to take out there. What were you thinking? She said I know then said it isn’t his, then I got to find the title. I said where is it? She said she didn’t know he had it, it was there somewhere. I said you are not going to get that back from him. He has that hidden, he is going to take it with him when you put him out or he decides to leave.

She was saying how she isn’t happy, how it is like having old boss there and how he talks to her, acts and treats her, how she don’t like being there and is shutting down. I told her get him out, put him out, your have done nothing but take care of him all this time for what reason, none. He isn’t going to make your truck payment and he isn’t going to go on his own because he has it made there. he isn’t there for any good or right reason. This was all a game and to get back at old boss from the start. She said something about her kids and things. I said yeah I know and it isn’t good and should of never happen this is all why I told you from the start don’t do it, don’t do it just leave him alone and don’t do it he is just what everyone said about him is true. I said and all the more reason you need to get him out the sooner the better. Kids are all involved and everything and the longer you wait the worse it is going to be. I know she keeps saying.

She says I can see so much and understand so much of the things you have said and done and why you said and done things and why you still do the things you do and how you do them. She said I never got it, I could never figure it out before. She said I’m living it and now I see.

He kept coming up when we were talking and things I would just say yep that is what a habit gets you. That’s what happens when you snort so much of that shit. She said something at one point about she figured out what was wrong with him he was sick. I said no he is’t sick. I said he can say what he wants make excuse after excuse and you can make all the excuses that you want for him. But the fact of the matter is just about anything and everything that he wants to complain about and say is wrong with him or he is having problems with can all be traced right back to his problem. I said and it is no one fault but his own that he is that way. She said something about him being sick and not left the house for two weeks. I said withdraw will do all that and if he really hadn’t left the house and hadn’t had money it probably was because he just been MIA for days and going out all most everyday before that for the last month or so. She kept saying he could be a good person. I said yes he could be but he isn’t and he don’t want to be. He wants a free ride and to keep doing what he has been doing all this time. She said he needs to grow up or something like that and stop be responsible. I said he is over 45 years old he is not going to, he has had more than enough time and more than enough chances and help. He just uses everyone and keeps going. I said I think he is to a point that he is to far. Something bad is going to happen or he is going to just be this way from now on. No one else in the house has been sick he been so violently sick and just wanting to do nothing but sleep if he isn’t and he been all nasty and snappy with them. Withdraw all around.

He messaged her when we were there wanting to know where she was and what she was doing. Then saying something to her about not being home with the kids and things.

I don’t know what she is going to do, but I am glad her mom is seeing what is going on and how he is too now and is saying something. She said her aunt keeps saying things to her as well about it. I forgot they work together two nights a week so even if we don’t go out she still see’s her and says stuff. She is like me and will tell her it isn’t right and she needs to get him out and this is his problem and the drugs and things.

I hope to get to go out with her this week or to breakfast one day this week. I don’t know if she will or not. He keeps her isolated. She told me she not been talking or seeing anyone or talking to anyone hardly and how he starts when she does. She dont’ see it she is use to it she grew up this way. but she still knows it isn’t right.

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