Single___Parent___Life











{April 10, 2020}   A Talk with Little Bitty

As most of you know Little Bitty is dead set against me having a husband or boyfriend. No way no how for any reason dose she want me to have one or even think about having one. Over the last few weeks I have brought it up and we have talked about it a little here and there, but not much. She just always says she don’t want to talk about it or just because. Last night it came up she started with I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t want to waste my breath on this, can we just talk about it later. I said you always want to talk about it later and never will we are talking about it now. She finally opened up and we had a very heartbreaking, eye opening conversation.

She said I can’t have a boyfriend because he will steal me away. She said that oldest is 16 and going to be moving out any time and the other two are going to be moving out and it will just be me and her. If I get a boyfriend he will steal me away and she will have no body because I am all she has besides the other kids who are going to be moving out. At this point she was in tears. So very upset and worried. I tried to explain to her it would be at least 2 years and probably longer before anyone started moving out and that Mr. 9 and her still had a a long time before they would be. That no matter what no one could steal me away and take me from her.

I told her that whoever I ended up with would have to like her and the rest of the kids. They would want to do things with us all together. I told her that we would find someone that understood that they came first and they would have to be okay with that or we wouldn’t be able to be together.

Then she told me she did not want another dad or step dad she was happy with the one she has even though she don’t know him. She started telling me that me and her dad are still together I never broke up with him we just didn’t live together. That some day he may come back to meet her and want to move back in with us and be together.

I had to stop myself from crying with her. I explained to her that we were broken up that is why he hasn’t been here all this time and we have not talked to him. That he broke up with me and moved away. I told her that he had a new girlfriend. She was surprised and didn’t know what to say. Then she thought that was her step mom. I told her no he was not married and that was not her step mom. I asked her if her dad could have a girlfriend then why couldn’t I have a boyfriend. She said because I had her and the other kids.

Then she thought about her dad having other kids. She said something about if he had other kids before and doing things with them. But she never put two and two together about them being her brothers and sisters if he did have kids. Last night it hit her and she said if he has other kids then that would mean they are my brothers and sisters. I said yes honey he has other kids. She said when she gets grown up she wants to move by him so she can get to know them and him and come back to see me since she is living with me now.

She never asked how many other kids or where they lived. She just assumed they lived with him. I didn’t tell her any different. I figure it is best for her to ask when she is ready to know than me giving her more information than she maybe ready for. With all that we were already dealing with I didn’t want to overwhelm her with more. She was still upset and crying.

She told me she didn’t want me to get anymore babies at all. I told her I wouldn’t that I didn’t want more babies and that whoever I ended up with would have to understand that and not want any more either. She said but if you get a boyfriend then you get babies. I said no I will keep that from happening. Then she told me no I said yes I can I will. She kept insisting how was I going to do that because that is what happens when you get boyfriends or husbands. I told her not to worry about it I just would.

She told me a lot of other things and we talked about it all and i told her how it would work or what to expect. She said he can not live with us and he has to know that I get to sleep with you too. I laughed and told her he wasn’t going to be living with us and that even if he wanted to or I wanted him to we would have to talk about it as a family and decide that it was okay for him to live with us. That it would be a while before that would happen. That we would all have to do things together and get to know him and everyone like each other and things. It wasn’t something that would just happen just like the kids aren’t moving out anytime soon.

She felt a lot better and calmed down a lot then. We talked some more. She said well he needs to have a job and his own place. He needs to be able to pay his bills and things. If his job don’t give him lot of hour then maybe you can get him a job with you and he can have two and work lots of hours like you since that is what you do. Two jobs would be okay but three would be to many probably. Then she said you two should put your money together and pay the bills and then you would have money left to do other stuff.

I said if he don’t live here then we won’t put our money together and he won’t pay our bills. I will pay our bills buy the things we need and he will pay his bills and buy the things that he needs. She said well if you put your money together and pay all the bills then you both will have more left. She said he may not have lights at his house if he is here for to long. I said what do you mean. She said if he ha to leave and go back to his house he may not have lights because he may not pay his bills there why he is here. She also told me I don’t want to snuggle with hairy arms so I have to sleep on one side of you he has to sleep on the other and know that I get to sleep with you all the time. But probably only until I am 16. Then I will probably sleep by myself. If not then when I turn 18 and move out.

She said he has to like Heartland the show we watch at night in bed. That way he can watch it with us. I don’t know what all but when we were done talking she said it would be okay if you get a boyfriend if he is a good one nice to us and you. Then she said if he is here and he is mean and won’t leave we will call the police so they can make him leave.

About and hour or two later she walked by and I was on my pone. She said what are you doing on line dating? I said no why would you say that? She said I don’t know but good because that is just weird. She said oh and I forgot to tell you, if he hurts you I’m going to hurt him. He may think I’m cute but I’m really revengeful, (as she punched her hand). And I get my way (have her ways). If he bleeds then he just bleeds I can’t help it he shouldn’t of been mean to you. My oh my this child. I don’t know if I should laugh or be scared myself.

I am blown away by all that she had to say and all that she has been thinking about. I don’t know other 7 years old’s who would think of a lot of what she said about the job and sharing bills and helping each other out and him helping us around the house and things. I feel bad that these are the things she thinks about and worries about. She is to young and shouldn’t have to think about things like that and be worried about them. Or scared that someone is going to take me away from her and that I am all she has. If these guys could see what they do to these kids when they are not in the picture and how it affects them would they even car? Would it make them change their ways?

I told J.W about our conversation and he said he could do that stuff or does that stuff or something. I told him I know. I told him he was ahead of the game because he is already Her’s and Mommy’s friend with the really cool dog.

Like I told him I think that him and my kids will get along great. If I didn’t I probably wouldn’t have considered even getting together. I didn’t get with others and that was one of the reasons, I didn’t feel they would get along with my kids good. Or a lot of them act as if they are an after thought, or bother that I have them. they don’t like that they come first. I am sure it isn’t going to be sunshine and roses right off the bat between him and all of them. I am sure that some are going to be guarded and others are going to be indifferent or not interested in him and Little Bitty will take some time getting use to him being around. But I know that if everyone truly gives everyone a chance. They give him one and he gives them one they will all end up liking each other and getting a long for the most part once it is all said and done. But like Little Bitty they have been through a lot and he is going to have to build that trust and bond between them and be careful not to break it. They are going to have to learn to let go and let people in and that not everyone is going to hurt them and that there are decent guys out there even if their dads did them this way some one wants to be there for them and with them.

I also found it interesting that Little Bitty keeps saying he can’t live with us but then at the same time says things as if he is living with us and how things are going to be or should be and happen. I think deep down she wants someone to be a father figure and she really wants that to be her dad. But also open to the idea now that she knows she will still have her dad no matter what. She has just been through so much she is scared. She didn’t like it when Sleeping Beauty was here and how he was. I think also it help for her to know that me having a boyfriend isn’t just all about me, that it involves them as well and that if there are big decisions to be made they will be made as a family not just someone pushed on them or forced on them. That everyone has to like him and him like everyone and want to spend time with all of us not just me.

I think once this lock down crap ends then I will decide when it is a good time to sit down an talk to them tell them we are together and let them meet.



{April 7, 2020}   A Grandma Who Bakes

The other night I came home and the witch started her shit again as soon as I walked in. I don’t know what Little Bitty done but she was saying stuff about her or to her and things. We really got into it over that. I just walked past her went to my room and shut the door. Let her talk to herself. I am not dealing with her fighting with her all the time. She will stand there at the door and throw a fit half the time it pisses her off. Then it really pisses her off that I don’t respond to her. I don’t care.

Me and Little Bitty got ready and got in bed it was late and we were going to watch our show together anyway. She was sitting up here on the bed talking to me and she had come back to the door saying something again. Little Bitty looked over at me and said I wish we had a Grandma that bakes us cookies and things instead of one who is always mean and nasty.

I told her I wish she did too and that I was sorry.

Was thinking about how things were when I was growing up until I was in my teens pretty much. My family was close, I was really close to my grandparents and aunts. I use to stay with my grandparents all the time. We always had the holidays there and my grandma always cooked, baked and made things nice.

My mom has never been that way. She will tell you she never wanted grand kids but then sit up and tell them how horrible they have it so much she does for them and all this. She even tried to tell me how she paid all my bills here. I am mad because she stopped. I would like to know how she pays almost $2000 in bills a month when she has no job and no money coming in. Big question of the night. If she was paying all my bills then why couldn’t she just keep her place and pay all her bills so she didn’t have to live here? They were less than mine by far. She couldn’t pay them that is why she is here and she can’t move and pay them now because she don’t have money and gets a very little bit monthly. She couldn’t pay for a place on her own. But she paid all my bills.



{March 30, 2020}   Here and Healthy

I haven’t been on in awhile, with all that is going on with this virus and everything closing things have been crazy. 3 out of 4 kids ended up with the flu. Not sure how me and Mr.9 did not get it (knock on wood) but I am happy we haven’t. Everyone who had it is over it now and going stir crazy.

We are under some kind of stay home order, I don’t really know the details. I have to go to work and am the only one who drives and able to get us stuff so life is pretty much normal for me. We haven’t been going out on the weekends. Everything is closed as for entertainment. People are still going fishing, to the beach, boating and other outdoor things.

I go to work shop once a week and go see my boyfriend after work and before I go if I have time. We get lunch or dinner and go to the little store. Everything to eat is take out nothing is open to eat in. We get it take it to work or back to his place.

The kids are getting set up to start school on line come Monday. That should be loads of fun with a 1st grader. I think Mr. 9 should be okay. They have packets they could pick up and do but I already did this. If it don’t work i am just going to tell them we need to change things. They say schools are going to go back the 15th of next month. I don’t believe it. I think if they were they would of just sent some packets home not set this whole online thing up. Not for what 15 days or less. Why go through all that trouble for a few days? I don’t know depending how things work out they may just start homeschooling with the older two. Little Bitty can’t wait to start hers online tomorrow. She wants to keep doing hers at home. I just may if my job works out.



{December 24, 2019}   Christmas Tree Disaster

It is now Christmas Eve and we just finished with putting the tree up. I started this post late Monday night early Tuesday morning. I went met him and got the tree Monday night after work.

 

We still have not put a tree up. We were going to Sunday evening and that blew up.

Little Bitty was all excited when I said it was time to put the tree up. She ran to my room and brought it out.

I opened the box and there was no tree. All that was in the box was a house, metal tree thing and few other odds and ends. But closed in the box it was just enough weight it felt like the tree. I figured he was probably looking for that stuff and has no idea where it is.

I go get the white tree from last year and parts were missing. We couldn’t even put the legs in it. I told them to toss it in the trash I would get one the next night on my way home.

Today Pops came in and I asked him if he was missing anything. He said he didn’t think so why? I told him what happen. He was shocked and confused. Then started telling me he was sorry he didn’t know. I laughed told him not to worry about it. He was upset.

In the meantime a friend knew we were going to put it up and asked about it. I told him what happen. He asked if I had got one later this after noon. I told him no I was going to stop at the stores on the way home last night.

He said let him see what he could do. I told him I would take care of it he didn’t have to do that. He just got his own place and he is trying to get things and a car. I knew he didn’t have away to run all over.

Well tonight about 8 p.m. he sent me a picture of a Christmas tree. He said I had to work some magic but got you one. He said it isn’t the one you wanted (before I knew what he was doing I told him about the one I was looking for) you can take it back but it’s all I could get.

I said no it’s great I wasn’t sure I would even find what I was looking for. I am just happy to have one at this point. I told him thank you and ask him how much it was. He said nothing it is yours I am happy to help. I told him I would come by after work. He said a friend he knew from work came in he told her he needed a tree and ask her to run up the street to the store and find one. She ended up at the big store before she found it. I gave him a hug told him thank you again.

He said I know you work a lot and trying, this keeps you from having to run around all night after work in the cold. I’m glad to do it.

I am so thankful, I was so tired and truly didn’t want to go to the store. It was nice to have someone do something so simple for me as run and find that and get it. Even if I paid for it. It just takes something off my to do list and that never happens unless I have done it.

We were talking about it and he said I like to see you smile and if I could do that and help make you smile I’m happy. Mind you have not seen or spoken to this friend in years. That is another post.

 



{November 12, 2019}   Pregnant Again

This was last Thursday, I have just been busy and not able to finish it until now. So here you go.

Last night was a long night ended up at the Er. at like 3a.m only to have nothing done and sent home. Complete waste of time. If I had known I wouldn’t of even went.

My sister called me and said she done something to her foot and was in tears from the pain. I could tell when she answered she was crying or had been. We talked for a bit and she hung up. She was waiting for her husband to get home.

About the time I crawled into bed and got comfortable she called and asked me to take her. Her husband don’t get off until late like me and then had to get home because she couldn’t get him. He only works a couple blocks so he could walk. She didnt seem like she was going to go when I talked to her.

I go get her and take her all the way over there. I pulled up to the front to get her a wheelchair because she can’t walk on it step down on it. I go to get out and she says I have to tell you something your going to find out in here anyway.

I’m looking at her like what? What is there to tell then I am thinking she is sick something is wrong maybe this is why her foot did this just sitting on the bed or what. She says I’m pregnant but no one knows yet. I was like oh okay. Still not thinking.

We went in they took her right back and the doctor came right in. He said they would call and get an x ray on it and go from there to make sure something wasn’t broke or fractured. She refused because she is pregnant. The doctor got rude and kind of nasty. We were in and out in less than an hour.

Had it been me I would of done it. It was just her foot and they put the led over you. I had one done of my foot and ankle when I was 8 months pregnant with my first because I fell down the stairs.

Then when I was about 24 weeks with my last I had to have a CT scan with the dye they put in the IV. They felt it was more of a risk to me not to do it than to the baby.

If I had known she was pregnant before I picked her up I would of told her they were not going to do anything and not wasted the two\two and half hours.

 

 



{November 1, 2019}   Happy Halloween

I’m a little late but it has been a crazy busy day. I worked about about 4.5 hours today. I was supposed to work until 3 but got off around 230. I posted I was leaving at 3 today to be with the kids a month ago. The Pops said he could work for me so he came in later today. Then the guys got back about 230 walked in and said bye. I said oh now I’m being thrown out and laughed. They said yeah get out of here. I laughed said okay thanks and left. My work was done I just finished sewing Little Bitty’s costume. I stopped got gas then came straight home and got everyone ready for tonight and picked up pizza for dinner.

We met my sister and her husband and kids went and trick or treated. They all had fun. I was a little bothered by the way people treated the older kids.

Yes my teens went trick or treating with us. We have always gone as a family from the time we started having kids. My sister was young still when I had my oldest we pushed her around in the stroller. Baby wasn’t even a year old no bag. We all just walked together get out do something. Did not expect candy for the baby.

We went the following years together and now that she has two kids we all go. My oldest went to a few houses when we started then started lagging back I tell her go have fun she go then lag back. As it got darker she went to more. I kept asking her what was wrong did someone say something or do something and she said no.

Walking out and back to the car we were talking because Little Bitty said her bag was to heavy and wanted someone to carry it. I looked and was shocked how much she had. My oldest said yeah people were giving the little kids handfuls then would look at her and drop one or two pieces in her bag. I was shocked.

I do not understand why people are so bent out of shape about the teens trick or treating. I say good for them they are not out egging houses, stealing little kids bags, drinking and driving or any number of other things they could be. They aren’t coming late at night, or being rude or mean or running over the little kids. They were being respectful, they were in costumes and most were with family and friends. Enjoying a nice evening out. So do people feel the need to treat them this way?

Trust me I have seen them where they are rude, loud, nasty, run over the little kids to be the first to the candy and everything else. I in that situation wouldn’t give candy either and say something. But they in no way were out of line.

People talk about teens not wanting to be with their family or spend time with them or families not doing things together this is part of the reason why everyone wants to exclude older kids from activities and things or make them feel uncomfortable if they do come. Not just trick or treating but other things the community puts on as well. Then hardly ever have things for the older ones at all and wonder why so many run the streets and are in trouble.

My sister said at least you got some I didn’t even get one peice. Not that we expected to or anything. But I thought and said oh yeah. We didn’t.

See when I was buying my house we would all go trick or treat from the front to the back of the neighborhood. Our aunt lived back there we would walk to her house and back. I bet half the houses we went to gave all the kids a bunch of candy all of them no matter how big or small. We would come home the baby would have a bag of candy. Even telling them no and that’s okay they can’t eat it. They say it’s Halloween they need to join in have fun too. Half of them would then hand the adults some too. Or when talking about the baby not being big enough they would say but mom and dad are and smile. The candy all was dumped in a big bag together when we got home everyone shared. The kids are most of it. We were just taking them to have fun not expecting anything. But it’s the point why are some that way but then you get a whole area that acts like it’s the end of the world if teens come by? I truly don’t understand people’s thinking sometimes.

It reminds me of when I deliver pizza’s. If I go to nicer area’s of town it can be pouring rain you just drove 10 miles (no joke we went pretty far away from shop to deliver) you walk up to a $500,000 home sitting right on the river. They hand you a $1 tip, a handful of change maybe $2 if your lucky.

I turn around drive a mile or two from the shop make my way through the trailer park pull up to the trailer I’m going to give them their pizza and they hand you $5, $8 up to $10 sometimes. Most was $5 to $8 tips in those area’s. Parts of town no one wanted to go they were scared to go to I was the one they sent I would get $4 to $6 and more for a tip.

To night we were in a “nicer” area they have tons of people every year come through there. That is how they do. But then the areas we tricker treat by my house and my sister aren’t the “nicer” area but not the trailer park or areas where people are scared to go. Just your average area and they are pushing candy into everyones hand and upset if they don’t take it.

Makes you really stop and think about what people you want to deal with and from what area when it comes down to it. I wouldn’t mind going by my old house but it didn’t look like many houses were doing anything and we were going to meet up with Bff up that way. Anyway end of my vent rant or whatever you want to call it. Guys if teens come to your door just give them the dam candy. I mean really think about it what is it going to hurt? You helped keep a kid from a party where who knows what could happen. You let a kid spend a fun night with their family and they didn’t feel out of place awkward or bored. How would you feel if it was your kid and someone treated them that way or said something?

Anyway I hope you all had a good night. If you dressed up share a picture in the comments.

I do not normally share pictures but we have mask. Me and my oldest son. He photo bombed me. I am glad he did because I really like the picture. He was a plague doctor. I just collected parts of others as they got tired of wearing them. Little Bitty’s hat kept falling off and she got tired of tripping over and dropping her broom. My niece got hot in her mask on the way back to the car. The head of the broom fell off. I told everyone I crashed my broom that’s why it was gone lol.

 



{October 8, 2019}   Almost 40

So the fact that I am going to be 40 in a little over a year punched me in the face the other day. I still can’t Figure out what the hell I have done so far the last 38. All I can think is this is it? This is really it? Wth? Life is over. Okay okay not over but this part or a big part of it. I look at so much that hasn’t been done and so much still to be done. I look at my kids and two almost grown, one half way and one just getting started. That makes things a little of as well. I been in this weird frame of mind since it really hit the other day.

Who would of thought one simple little picture could set off such a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings. I was looking at someone’s picture I don’t even know on line and thinking how they looked older. Then I looked and they are around my age. It got me to thinking about how we feel vs. how we look and how we don’t see ourselves the way others see us at times. How it don’t feel as much time has went by that really has. One day you wake up and it hits you. By then is it to late to live the life you wanted or live the life we want? Is it to late to make the changes? Are we to old? I feel like to much time has passed for a lot of things I just need to figure out what life I’m going to live at this point and forget the past. But there are still things I want that maybe aren’t so to far fetched just yet maybe. Maybe they are maybe I need to change them some. Then there is a part of me that says I want it or just forget it change everything.



{September 23, 2019}   Worried About My Boys

Last week bff called me and told me that she seen on R.C’s ex father in laws page that his wife died. I didn’t even know that she was sick or had been. I hadn’t really looked at their pages in a long time. I look once in a while and look at pictures and save them for my Little Bitty. She don’t know she has brothers or sisters but I want her to. I plan to tell her, but I don’t know when or how. It will probably be in the not to far future. She has made comments about her dad having other kids but hadn’t put the two together. I don’t know what will happen once we go to court once we get a date. But I am sure that things will probably come up.

I do not know how things are or have been with the boys and their mother. I don’t know if she has been doing okay or not. I know she had another baby around the time I had Little Bitty. That guy wasn’t in the picture and she was staying with her mom. I know they seem to be doing pretty good there. But I think at one point she had moved out and they may not have been talking by somethings that her mom had posted on her profile. But then someone told me that she had been staying there and helping with her mom since she been sick.

But I know that someone else passing away was when she started taking pills and ended up hooked on them. Even if she has been doing good all this time and things her being there taking care of her mom through this and then her passing I am worried this could push her over the edge. Her step dad is back over seas working like he has been the last 7 or 8 years. She passed on the 29 of August he got in town that day or night and left around the 17 of September. I don’t know if he has plans of coming home to stay at any point or not. I am guessing probably not if he didn’t all this time that his wife was here and sick and things. There isn’t really anything to come home to.

But at this point the boys really have no one to look out for them and take care of them if she don’t or gets back on something. I worry where they are going to go or what is going to happen with them. I kind of wish that I had reach out sooner and tried to let them have a relationship with them. Maybe it would have worked out and at least I would be seeing them and know if something was happening or going on. I don’t know at least give them someone to talk to come to for help if it happens.

I don’t know how the kids are doing or handling all this either because they were all so close to her. If she is in any state of mind to help them deal with it all either. I worry about that as well.

I don’t know if she is online or post much because I never see anything from her. Once in awhile he will post something but not often since he isn’t home. Most the time the things I got were from the moms page. I may watch and see when he is going to be home again and reach out to him about getting the kids together. See what he says. I honestly hadn’t up to this point because of the mother. I didn’t want to get involved with her and the way she is. I figured she would tell her not to. Just the way she was in the past.



{September 17, 2019}   Feel a Road Trip Coming Up

I have been in a mood lately feeling very restless and wanting to get away. I want to take a road trip. I am going to shoot for the next 3 day weekend we have. Hopefully it will be a day that the shop is already closed.

I think I will take off Friday and leave out that morning. We should get where we are going by that afternoon or early evening around dinner. Spend from then until Monday there. Leave out after lunch Monday and head home. We should get home in time for work and school.

I think I am going to go up to my friend J’s house and stay. She has the room. I will probably take one day to see my cousins. One is about 30 minutes away from her. See if the other one could come up and meet us. She is about 2 hours away. Or maybe go see the one that is 30 away then leave a little early and stop and see the one that is 2 hours away on the way home. Check all three areas out. So I can get my plan into motion.

I have to get these birthdays over with and decent checks rolling in again first. Then Figure out when I will have money to go on. My friend wants me to come for Thanksgiving I may wait and do that then take the extra day and have 5 days to go. Leave out after work Wednesday. Drive up to GA hang out a while. Eat sleep a little and make the rest of the trip up to SC.

I just really want to go before that and then maybe go again then. Just excited to check some things out and get to working on some things. I will have to tell you more about my plans in another post.



A while back I wrote Sometimes You Just Want To Shake Somebody talking about Bff and this mess with Sleeping Beauty.

I hadn’t seen or talked to her in while and she called me last Sunday and then wanted to go out this past Wednesday. We didn’t talk much Sunday she was on her way out of town to her uncles funereal. Wednesday night was when she ended up taking everyone with her and I didn’t go.

She called me Saturday right after me and the kids got home from shopping and dinner. She wanted to know if I wanted to go to Apple-bee’s with her for a little bit. I told her I would go with her but that I wasn’t eating I had just got done eating and was full. She said she was just going for an hour or so. She came and picked me up and we went.

She started talking about Sleeping Beauty and how things were and things he was doing. She said Wednesday when she asked me to go that he was laying down the kids were in bed already. She said she told him she was leaving and where she was going and that she was going to get in the shower. He said something loud enough for everyone to hear. She said then when she got out of the shower they were all up and sitting on the couch ready waiting for her. She said she told them she just wanted to go alone and things. They started. She said even after I said I wasn’t going they still ended up going. She yelled at him because it ended up costing her over $30 when if it had just been me and her it would of cost her $5 to $8.

She said he is supposed to make her car payment that is his “rent” I started to say something and she said but I’m not holding my breath that he is going to do it. I and that he hasn’t been home since the night before. I said yep not surprising. She said something about her mom saying something about him being there and the way things are. She was going to say something if he did something or didn’t do something.

Later we were talking and she said something about counseling and things. She said her youngest daughter who is like 12 talks about him when she goes all the time and things. Says that she wants him to go with her next time and that they are letting her bring him and wants her to. Said she talks about her like trash there and things. I said there is no way in hell I would let him go and start that. They take the kids back by their self and he would go back and her not there. I said I do not trust him at all not to say something just to try and start shit or cause problems and when they see and meet him they are not stupid they are going to see what he is all about and what he is and that could start problems for you as well. She said she didn’t know what she was going to do she didn’t tell them they could or couldn’t go. I really don’t think he will go because he knows they aren’t stupid and will have him figured out. I also feel that if he does go it isn’t going to be good.

Something was said about them going to the woods and all this. I said yeah and you went and bought him a car or toy to take out there. What were you thinking? She said I know then said it isn’t his, then I got to find the title. I said where is it? She said she didn’t know he had it, it was there somewhere. I said you are not going to get that back from him. He has that hidden, he is going to take it with him when you put him out or he decides to leave.

She was saying how she isn’t happy, how it is like having old boss there and how he talks to her, acts and treats her, how she don’t like being there and is shutting down. I told her get him out, put him out, your have done nothing but take care of him all this time for what reason, none. He isn’t going to make your truck payment and he isn’t going to go on his own because he has it made there. he isn’t there for any good or right reason. This was all a game and to get back at old boss from the start. She said something about her kids and things. I said yeah I know and it isn’t good and should of never happen this is all why I told you from the start don’t do it, don’t do it just leave him alone and don’t do it he is just what everyone said about him is true. I said and all the more reason you need to get him out the sooner the better. Kids are all involved and everything and the longer you wait the worse it is going to be. I know she keeps saying.

She says I can see so much and understand so much of the things you have said and done and why you said and done things and why you still do the things you do and how you do them. She said I never got it, I could never figure it out before. She said I’m living it and now I see.

He kept coming up when we were talking and things I would just say yep that is what a habit gets you. That’s what happens when you snort so much of that shit. She said something at one point about she figured out what was wrong with him he was sick. I said no he is’t sick. I said he can say what he wants make excuse after excuse and you can make all the excuses that you want for him. But the fact of the matter is just about anything and everything that he wants to complain about and say is wrong with him or he is having problems with can all be traced right back to his problem. I said and it is no one fault but his own that he is that way. She said something about him being sick and not left the house for two weeks. I said withdraw will do all that and if he really hadn’t left the house and hadn’t had money it probably was because he just been MIA for days and going out all most everyday before that for the last month or so. She kept saying he could be a good person. I said yes he could be but he isn’t and he don’t want to be. He wants a free ride and to keep doing what he has been doing all this time. She said he needs to grow up or something like that and stop be responsible. I said he is over 45 years old he is not going to, he has had more than enough time and more than enough chances and help. He just uses everyone and keeps going. I said I think he is to a point that he is to far. Something bad is going to happen or he is going to just be this way from now on. No one else in the house has been sick he been so violently sick and just wanting to do nothing but sleep if he isn’t and he been all nasty and snappy with them. Withdraw all around.

He messaged her when we were there wanting to know where she was and what she was doing. Then saying something to her about not being home with the kids and things.

I don’t know what she is going to do, but I am glad her mom is seeing what is going on and how he is too now and is saying something. She said her aunt keeps saying things to her as well about it. I forgot they work together two nights a week so even if we don’t go out she still see’s her and says stuff. She is like me and will tell her it isn’t right and she needs to get him out and this is his problem and the drugs and things.

I hope to get to go out with her this week or to breakfast one day this week. I don’t know if she will or not. He keeps her isolated. She told me she not been talking or seeing anyone or talking to anyone hardly and how he starts when she does. She dont’ see it she is use to it she grew up this way. but she still knows it isn’t right.



et cetera
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