Single___Parent___Life











{September 11, 2020}   Covid Encounters Pt.9…..Not Happy

If you have been following my Covid Encounters you know we have had over half the office staff test positive for Covid. We have had the office shut down for the last few weeks.

Then I went in Tuesday and the new girl was back and the new book keeping lady. Both tested positive. I’m not thrilled it wasn’t what we were told but I guess if she got a negative okay.

I didn’t go yesterday Wednesday because I was up all night sick and went some places to try and get help with my gallbladder. Today I go in they are there. About 10 or 11 she says she is calling about her test results. I’m thinking what results? She comes in and say’s they told her it could take 6 weeks. Then she says something about being surprised the owner let her come back without a negative. I was pissed. I started to say something and I didn’t. I didn’t want to start shit.

After they all left the HR lady and me were the only ones there. I went in and ask her. She said yeah she had no say and questioned it to. She said but they had her look up the CDC and what they said about when people could come back. That is what they are going by. It says after 10 days if not sick.



{September 9, 2020}   Covid Encounters Pt.8

I don’t know how to feel or what to think. I pull up to work yesterday and there are a lot of cars in the lot. I was thinking driver’s parking in our lot since it isn’t being used. I pulled up to park and notice that one is the new girl’s van. Then I see the new accounting ladies car. I go in and they of course are both there. Then I notice another person there. The office floater I call him. He is the go between for the office and drivers and helps here and there. They later said the guy I worked with on the night shift was going to be coming back in.

All 4 of them are ones who tested positive in the first round of test. Just over two weeks ago. They say they all have been tested and have negative test now. But I still kind of feel they should be home in case seeing as the test contradict each other so much. Two test in one day same person one says yes one says no. If this is going to put people out of work for weeks at a time then they should not be bringing people back who we know have had it right away. They are working from home. They have already said the 2 of us who have been there are most important in being in the office. That they were not going to put us at risk. My old boss from dispatch has said he don’t want his guys all back in there. He said like 3 one day 3 another rotating so they are spaced out and everyone isn’t exposed to everyone. That way if someone came up positive only those 3 would have to test and stay home. They have to stay in their area and use the back door so they are not in contact with us. We can email or call back and forth if we need to.

Further more the one’s who were negative all along were going to be the first to come back a few a week. Then the rest a few a week. Some who wanted to strictly work from home could. There are a few and that would cut down on things too.

So pulling in seeing all that I wasn’t real happy. I don’t know maybe I am wrong for thinking they should be last to come back. But no one knows no real way to handle this or even to know if they had it at all. Who’s to say the one’s of us who tested negative test was wrong. But I feel if they were we wouldn’t have 2 or more that say no and none that said yes. Some who’s test showed they had it never felt sick. Other’s had colds and that was it. So in that case why do we need to wait 14 day’s from a positive test before we can test again? Why can’t we go whenever and get tested and be allowed to come back as long as it is negative?

I just don’t know I am just over all this. I want them to go back to life as normal and move on with life.



{September 9, 2020}   Missing Work and Looking For Help

I went to work yesterday and worked most the day. I left about an hour and half early. I was starting to hurt. Later in the day and the way I sit because of my chair and desk are puts a lot of pressure on my right side. I have to think about it and sit straight up to keep it from doing that. You know how hard that is when you are working on something and trying to be comfortable too. You aren’t thinking don’t slouch sit up straight.

Yesterday at the store I was getting stuff for dinner. I was looking for stuff I could eat, stuff to use with what we have at the house and quicker easier to make since I have been sick and he don’t get home until after 7. This way I am not standing moving so much and he isn’t making a big meal so late if he has to do it.

I picked up stuffing and gravy to go with chicken we have. Taco stuff and spaghetti to use with ground meat we have. Walking along I seen a can of backed beans. I thought I haven’t had those in awhile they look good. So I bought them and hotdogs.

Well by time I was done shopping getting it home and put away it was time to get him. We got home I told him what I got he said why not make the beans and hotdogs? It’s quick and easy and I haven’t had that in awhile. I cut up some hotdogs dumped them and the beans in the pot and heated it up. Dinner was done. Great relax, shower watch some tv and go to bed. Nice simple night. Wrong, not long after we went to bed the pain hit me and would not go away. Instead of coming and going in waves it came to stay again. I woke up drenched in sweat again and hurting horribly.

I had taken aleave for my tooth when I laid down. I did not know if I could take it and the pain pill they gave me together. The aleave wasn’t helping. I tossed and turned. Turned around laid at the foot of the bed to have more room and lay different. Nothing helped. I finally went to the couch to sit. The dog was on it and didn’t want to move off the blanket. He wasn’t happy. He finally moved enough for me to get the blanket from behind him let me have that. I reclined the other side and tried to sleep. I couldn’t find a good way to sit or lay. I had no clue what time it was at this point. I forgot my phone in the bedroom i wasn’t going to get it. I finally drifted off a few times and slept a little. Before long I heard the trash truck. That is the last thing I remember. I guess I finally fell a sleep for a bit. Next thing I knew JW was waking me up wanting to know why I was on the couch and how long I had been there. I laid back down in bed for about an hour. I was still hurting when I got up.

I dropped him off and decided to go see if I can get someone to help me get this taken out. I went to the one place and they said they were just general doctors. They couldn’t do surgery and things. That they were really short doctors because they lost a bunch over covid. They can’t even take new people. I left and went to the health place I was going to in 2018. I decided to go to the one closer to work. This way I could leave work and be there in 10 minutes. The one i go to is on the other end of the county. I was almost to it and work because of where I had to go for the other place anyway. So I got there and just didn’t feel like it was where I should go. I have heard okay things and bad things for their adult care. I like their after hours for kids. That is all I knew. I decided to go to mine where I liked the doctor’s and things.

I make the drive to find they moved. They are now further north by about 5 miles. I get there it is in a horrible area. I pull in and looking for it. I see 4 or more cops in front of a place. I look sure enough they are in front of where I need to go have someone with their stuff strung everywhere. I wasn’t looking around me and it just didn’t seem like a good place. I decided to leave and go to the one between them and my house. Where I take the kids for dental work. It is newer, nicer area and building. They have everything in one office. They have doctor, dental, kids and mental health all right there. You check in go to the waiting area and they come to get you for whatever you are there for that day. I liked that too. The over all office staff is a lot nicer as well. I don’t know the doctors I hope I like them.

I think I can get in there early before work too. I am thinking about getting set up with the mental health side as well and seeing them to get back on my meds. If I can go there before work and not have to miss.

I messaged work told them I had a bad night was up sick I was going to be late. I am going to message tell them i have to meet these people for help I’m not coming. It is to late to go at this point and I did meet with these people so it isn’t lying. I can not afford to miss. I have missed a week between them telling us to take off, now being sick and the holiday. I was going to work half day for the holiday and this past Saturday until I got sick. That made me miss Friday, Saturday and the holiday. Now today. They say I can make it all up we will see I guess. I am going to talk to them about that tomorrow and Friday. Try to work saturday. I am going to try to work all day normal day Saturday. Because I have to take time off Monday.

I went to the place they gave me all the paperwork and everything. But the soonest I can see the doctor to get the ball rolling to get this out is Monday. So a while if or when something will really be done and who knows how long that will take. Then off to get it done and time for recovery. Hope they do it friday back to work by Tuesday.



As I said in my last post JW’s aunt called why we were having lunch and ask us to dinner. She is. Down staying with his other aunt for a few days. So we went over to see them. I had never met them before. I only really know his mom and brother. I met his dad once or twice when we were younger but he wasn’t around much when we were growing up.

Tonight was two of his aunts one’s son and his girlfriend that was there. They were all really nice. It was a really nice night. We sat and talked while we waited for dinner to finish. After dinner we went out and watched the rocket launch. Sat and talked for a little bit longer and now we are home. They were all really nice and welcoming.

I am tired and wore out. It sucks because we haven’t done anything for me to feel this way. But I have drove about 150 miles today. The aggregation of running around wasting time for something that they didn’t have when we were debating where to go and decided to go there just because of the car show since they don’t have it all the time. Oh well. He is watching Black Panther and relaxing. I’m really not interested in it. I think I will go take a relaxing shower, fold the clothes make the bed and go to bed. I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I worked Saturday to make up time we missed during the week. Took me 6 days to get 39.5 hours. I should of had 44. I had done 4 hours last Friday to make up for the day we missed the week before. Half day at over time would be more than i would of made had it been a normal 8 hour day. But then we missed Tuesday this week i had to work this Saturday and have them put it on this check to just touch 40. Hope we don’t miss any more.



{August 27, 2020}   Covid Encounters Pt. 5 & 6

I went to work at normal time Wednesday and the other lady in billing was the only one there. I asked her if she knew who the other person was who tested positive and she said it was the other HR type person. He I guess got his test results back that day at work from one of the ones he took last week. She said the HR lady said she couldn’t tell us and that we really needed to stop talking between us and telling each other who it is. We all feel no that isn’t going to fly we want to know so we know if or how much we been around them and things. She is the other one who is waiting on her test to come back from last week and this week. And feels she may have it she woke up not feeling good yesterday or today and now her husband.

Me and the lady in billing were talking we are glad they aren’t going to let anyone back in until next week and then just a few. Then when we were leaving last night  the owner’s wife came up. They talked a few minutes she left. She came knocked on my window and said she told her he is thinking that he isn’t going to let anyone but us come in for two weeks. That is fine with me. I think we can get caught up and organized without everyone there. She don’t have 10 people calling her away every few minutes or 20 coming asking questions when they aren’t calling her away. The normal everyone in and out doing their thing distractions aren’t there.

Today I went in 2.5 hours early at 7. The other lady gets there at 7 and leaves at 330. I don’t really want to sit there alone for 3 hours after she leaves. Plus I had an appointment for my eyes I had to get almost to the other side of the county for. So I needed to leave at 3/330 as well. This way I would get my 8 hours in.

We were talking this morning about how and when they should let people come back even with negative test. She said new girl was pushing to come back Monday. We both said no way she needs to wait and get another test and wait for it to come back. That she needed to wait at least a full 10 days from last Saturday before getting it really 14. The Hr lady called her and they talked. She got off the phone and said she wanted to come back tomorrow Friday and Saturday her test is negative but that New girl she was going to have to talk to owner about. The billing lady there with me told the hr lady she would talk to me and see how I felt about her coming in and let her know. I said her office is in the back and she can use dispatch printer and scanner if she needs to use one. That keeps her over 6 ft away from us. I said it kind of jokingly but kind of feel that is how it should be. She is having sinus issues and it probably is she has had 1 more test than me I think they are all negative. But like I told the other lady, I am not worried about catching it being sick. I am worried about catching it and not being able to work for 3 or 4 weeks or how ever long it takes. Because I don’t have a set up to work from home. Then if my kids get it and it is bad I will miss work to be there for them as it runs through 4 of them. She completely agreed and understands.

But we decided the hr lady and one dispatch lady could come back they are in different ends of the building than us we don’t have contact and all test have been negative. We were comfortable with that if they were the only ones for a bit. She talked to the hr lady and told her. She said she still had to talk to the owner to see what he thought or how he felt.

In a bit she called her back and said owner said no one would be coming back until further notice. Not anytime soon. Not even the hr lady until her issues are gone. He don’t want us catching something else and passing it around on top of this or bringing our system down leaving us open to catch this. We are fine with that as well. And agree.

We feel he should wait a week or two more before bringing anyone back other than the hr lady if her stuff goes away and she is negative. Then slowly bring one or two of the ones who have tested negative all along back staggering them out. A couple a week. Then slowly bring the ones who had positive test back but make them get a test like Wednesday or Thursday before the monday they are to start back and get results first. This making sure they are over it. Until we hopefully have everyone back in the office and no more cases.

No one is going to miss work because they all can work from home. Most are on salary and getting paid. So it shouldn’t be a problem. A lot of them want to work from home anyway.

I feel like we are on one of these tv show’s and instead of voting people off we are voting people in. I told her earlier we are just going to tell them they had their chance at this and failed. We are taking control now. These are the one’s who can come back and when. The rest need to work at home until we decide they are safe and then these over here we would rather not bring back at all. We can do without them or replace them.

I forgot yesterday she told me when she was talking to the accountant he said he told owner he needed to give me and her some extra for coming in doing our job’s and taking care of everything else that can’t just be left until when ever. She said yeah are we getting hazard pay for all this and keeping everything going? He said no really they had already been talking about giving us something and he was going to talk to him about it again and push it. That would be nice. Like right now if we were not there the place would come to a stop basically. No one else at all knows how to do mine or her job or where to even start if they wanted to do it. Then she has to collect all the payroll papers and things that go with it. Bag it up and toss it in his trunk when he pulls up so he can do what he needs to from home. It is just to much to send by computer. I have to go get the checks load the printer and let them print the checks. Then I have to find all the bills and match to each check. Package them all up so that the owners wife can come after we leave and get them. I have to put each envelope through the postage machine so he can mail them once he signs them. We are not talking 5 or 10 checks. We are talking like 35 to 50 checks. That is the new accounting person’s job but she has this too.

If we weren’t there making sure this gets done or that billing gets done no one would be working. Because if we are not getting billing done to get people to pay us there would be no money to pay the drivers or us in the office. Them drivers do not get paid they will leave that truck where it sits jump on a plain and come home. If we didn’t get payroll paperwork together for the one that is at home they still wouldn’t get paid.

She has also gotten to look at the work the new girl has and hasn’t done and really see what is going on. She has found out she has stuff from July she has not taken care of like she was told and said she did. We are figuring out new ways to handle things and do things that work better for me and her because new girl has everything a mess. We are going to put some things in place and she is going to have to do them this way. Because what she set up is not working at all. I know she isn’t going to like it but that is to bad. She already got in a huge argument with the boss because he told her to change something because the way she was doing it was not working for how things are done. She blew up. I think the other billing lady i am working with hopes she leaves. A lot of people there want her to and have complained about her. Just like telling them she was coming back Monday.  Not asking when or how they were handling things. Billing lady said today someone needs to tell her she has only been here a few months she needs to step back or this isn’t going to work. But she isn’t going to listen. She won’t put up with it for to much longer she is going to say something.



{August 22, 2020}   Covid Encounters Pt. 3

Today I went in to make up hours since I missed all of Thursday. The new girl was there, two dispatch and one HR. Me and the new girl talked for a bit as I worked then she went out to smoke. She came in and said that one of her covid test came back positive. She was one of the one’s that went to the school Wednesday Morning when we first found out. Then went to the med clinic when they thought they would get results back faster. Then she went and took the rapid one yesterday. Rapid said no yesterday but the clinic one said positive. So now she has 3 test two negative and one positive. Work told her she has to get another negative now before she comes back and sent her home.

I hear the guys in the other room talking the owner has it, the dispatcher who started this, we have a guy who just floats around does a little bit of everything. He has it my “boss”. I said K that works with my boss and P who just got sent home. So like we were up to 6 people. The guy that I worked with who’s place I was supposed to take messaged me a little bit ago and said he is positive. He only had the one test that takes days to get back. So we are up to 7 out of 17 who have a positive test and 2 I haven’t heard anything about. One is on vacation so won’t be back for a week and hasn’t been back since we left Wednesday. The other comes a few hours a week here and there.

Not one person has any symptoms, fever or anything like that. No one feels sick or would of ever had any reason to think they were or needed to be tested.

As I type that I can’t help but wonder if it wasn’t covid we all had the end of last year. It seems funny to me that most of the one’s who were sick and so sick last year are the one’s who are testing negative. The one’s testing positive were not sick like the others of us were. I still have to question how good the test are as well. Are these positive test really positive? How do we know? Now we have like with P three test two in one day one two days later. One of the same day test says yes one no and then rapid 2 days later says yes. The positive was the one taken later in the day.

On top of that now they count test not people for their numbers. So now they have one positive and one negative for same person but it is just going to be counted as 2 different people. How can they not see this is not correct ways to report. How can people know this and blindly be scared into believing all the doom and gloom? It isn’t just her but everyone there that got 2 or 3 test with 2 different results. I could even see if they had a positive and inconclusive. Or negative and an inconclusive. But not straight one and one out of so many test and so few people. Or like her 3 test 2 results.

The test seems no more reliable than playing pin the tail on the donkey. Close your eyes spin the paper mark a result. Open eyes that is what you are. No test needed, no time wasted waiting for results and just as accurate.



I went to work today and only 6 of us showed up. The two HR people or like people, two dispatchers, me and the other lady in billing. New girl showed up got the money for the test and never came back even though she tested negative. I am not sure why she came took the money for the test if she wasn’t coming in because she should have her others back by Monday. The owner and our boss were questioning it as well and she may not be reimburse for it since she didn’t come in today. That was the deal he would pay so we could work today and this weekend. We don’t work weekend but they ask us to if they did this. To get work caught up and let us make up hours.

The accountants didn’t come either. The one that is our “boss”already told the other lady training us in billing he wasn’t he was taking a long weekend. But the new one would be in. She gets there at 7 and wasn’t there when I got there at 930. Then he called me around 11 or so and told me both of their rapid test came back positive. So they can’t come in until they get a negative. He had not received his test from Wednesday but she had. Wednesday’s test for her said negative but the rapid test from yesterday or this morning said positive. So she has to get a 3rd one now that isn’t rapid and wait for it to come back negative. If it don’t then she has to wait and get another one until it comes back negative. He is supposed to do the same and he say’s he is just waiting for his other from Wednesday to come back. HR said no that isn’t how it works once a positive shows up your negative test has to be done after that.

Like me and the other lady in billing were talking he is doing 2 of 3 other things on the side all around people going in their homes and things. If he has it then it is probably from that not the guy at work who got it because he is not around him. They next to never come into contact with each other. And it makes since that him and the new accounting lady’s test are the only other positive so far. Because they are closed up in this little office together a couple feet from each other. They can have the door open but they have it closed a lot and even with it open it is still close and pretty closed off. Cluttered and not real circulation.

If they had gotten it from the other guy then seems that the two guys that sit right next to him in his office and the one who rode around in the car with him all the time would have it. Or even one of us from billing we are in talking to him about work stuff all the time.

Now I guess our exposer time frame just went from last Friday to two days ago Wednesday. Because we had no idea these two had it and we were all around them Wednesday. Hoping that no one else test comes back positive out of this round we should be done with this and in the “clear” for exposer from this incident by the first. We all have to go be retested around the end of the month again. Knock on wood we all come out good can be done with this and not have to deal with it again.

I have to call tomorrow and get my results from my first test they haven’t called me yet. I think I’m fine but hey so did the first one who tested positive and the other 2.



Yesterday I got to work a half hour early because I was making up hours I was going to miss today. As I was pulling into the parking space my phone started ringing it popped up as work. I thought it was very odd because no one ever uses the work phones to call each other. We always use our cells. I wasn’t due in for another half hour. No one knew I was coming early. I thought oh boy here we go something has happened and now I am going to lose this job. I started not to answer just go in but I wanted to know what to expect before walking in the door and being hit with something. I wanted to be prepared how to handle whatever it was.

I answered it was our HR lady. She said she was asked to call everyone she wanted to call me first she knows I would be in soon and have kids. She said we have our first covid case and it is here in the office with us. She said he hasn’t been to work since Friday and he isn’t sick. He had a sore throat that is it. We thought from dental work but, he tested positive. I told her I was in the parking lot I was coming in. She said they were cleaning the office and from what they were being told felt it was safe. I said yes I did too. She said we just don’t know about others in the office if they have it. Anyone of us could have it. I said but we have all already been exposed.

I went and clocked in and everyone was in a buzz. Trying to clean and find testing places, try to find out prices, times, if you had to make an appointment or walk in/drive up or what. I found a walk in that did the test for free. I decided to go there they decided to go to the one at the local school in the next town over. I didn’t want to drive up sit in my car for who knows how long and I wanted to talk to a medical person. The people they have doing the swabs in the drive up ones are who ever they hire off the street to do it. They pay them $35 an hour pay their room and food. So they can not answer anymore questions than what we already know really or what they are told to tell us.

I told them when I got there what I was there for and that I had direct contact with someone who tested positive. I figured they would want to put me right back into a room or have me wait outside or something. Nope had me fill out paperwork left me sitting in the waiting room. As if it was no big deal. Why when I went to get my eye’s checked you have to wait in your car and they don’t let more than a few people in at once.

They finally took me back the nurse or tech did the nose swab and said the PA would come check me and answer questions. She looked at in my eyes throat and listen to my lungs and heart.

I asked her about all this and how blown up and scare tactics it really was?

She looked at me. I said I know it is real I am not disputing that. I said but I don’t think it is as bad as they are making it out to be. I said they tell you only how many people tested positive not how many had no symptoms, how many are recovering how many aren’t getting deathly ill. They just tell you this many died, these hospitals have full ICU bed. I said they don’t tell you why the icu beds are full. How many are covid how many are other reasons? I said years ago my dad was in icu a week beds were full. Covid wasn’t around they all had different things wrong.

She said you are right everything you are saying. She said she works at a local hospital they have 5 icu units most people don’t know that. That when they say all beds are full that could be one unit or is most times. That if they have 6 trauma people come in one is full. I said I feel they are not saying most people who are getting deathly ill or passing are people with underlying issues. She said yes true. She said not that I haven’t treated 30 or 40 year olds who were other wise healthy that got very ill or who passed. I said I am sure you have but that is like anything a healthy 20 something could get the flu and pass or a infection of some kind that most get over and pass. That is just how it is a fluke thing. She said yes. She finally said I really hate to say it from a medical stand point and field but they have put a lot of fear or scare out there to get people to comply.

I left and went back to work. Only a few showed back up after their test. I got there about 12 by 4 they were telling us to go home. Not to come back until we have negative test results. So we all left.

Of course when I told them at home that I have been exposed the Bitch freaked out. I can’t come home blah blah bullshit. I said fine I will go stay with Bff then. She is tested every so often anyway because she works at the assisted living. They have had it at the nursing home across the street and workers going back and forth. So she has been too. I came and stayed at JW house for the night. I told her it take 3 to 7 days for results.

This morning while I was in the middle of writing this they sent a group text saying X places have the rapid test for $150. Insurance don’t pay for it. The HR lady ask me in a private text if I was going we had been talking. I told her I lost a job in March been down to one job since. I could not put out $150 for it. The days we are missing we can make up once we go back so i am not missing money there. She said she understood. They really don’t want us working 2 jobs right now because of it either. We are exposing our self more and in turn risk exposing them as well.

In bit the owner sent a message in the group chat saying he would reimburse anyone who went and got the rapid test and that they had people coming in cleaning the office and no one is to come back until they have a negative test. I messaged her private again ask her if he was and what clinics they found that had the test? The ones by me said they no longer had them and was not getting more and their other clinics didn’t and wouldn’t either because they cost so much and insurance wasn’t paying. She gave me the numbers and I called the one that was closer to me to make sure. They said yes. I went straight there and got it. It came back negative but there is still 20% + chance it could be wrong.

I left there and went by JW job work called like yesterday morning. I answered it was the HR lady. She said her and the other hr kind of guy would be there about 25 more minutes or in in the morning. She said owner said we could get tested and be paid back as soon as we got in office in am or they could give us a tch and we could cash it and go get the test if we could not pay upfront and wait. I said I seen his message and went ready I just got back. She said what did it say? I said negative of course. She said good good see you in the morning then? I said yes. She said take a snip of the transaction on your account print it we will get your money in the morning. I know you are worried about taking care of them babies. I said they gave me a payment amount on my paper. She said oh great they didn’t mine.

So I get to go back tomorrow and Saturday. I did not tell them at home yet I’m not tonight. I may tomorrow. I don’t know yet. I get home go to my room and sit for the night she has them so scared to be around me they don’t come in there like they use to. It isn’t healthy why i want to get her out or us moved. The way she is is not good for them to be around. But with me working she is there more than me they listen to what she says when I’m not there. If I decide to go home I will tell them tomorrow we got rapid tested. If not i will wait until Monday tell her I got my other results or we went for the fast test. I figure she is going to want to wait until the other test since there is chance for the fast test to be wrong. Not that the other can’t either but who knows. My luck my other will come back say yes this one says no. I am interested to see if that happens with anyone since most of us have had both test now or a group of us has. To see what happens then.



{May 22, 2020}   6 Days In,

And so far doing pretty good. As I am sure you all probably remember from my post last week Emotional Break Down

I started a low-dose birth control pill and I was worried about taking it. When I took them in the past I did not do well on them. But it really was my only option so I decided to try it. Rather than keep trusting what I have been. Don’t get me wrong I love natural family planing and have used it for years, and used it for years before. But I don’t feel it is the best for me to use at this point in life. Seeing as I do not want anymore kids, me and J.W don’t get a lot of time alone and never know when that is going to be and I worry about it all the time. I don’t know what I would do if I ended up pregnant at this point in life.

I started the pill Sunday when I was supposed to and was a little worried. Okay more than a little worried. I had horrible mood swings, felt physically sick, had no libido and just over all nasty. So I just took it and tried to forget it and not think about it. Wasn’t hard to do as busy as we are at work right now. I take it between 1 and 130 every day. I figured that was a good time because I go to lunch then. I don’t like to take anything when I first get up in the morning and didn’t want to deal with it in the evening or at night when I am so tired and other things to do. I set my alarm already so I won’t forget at lunch or if I am busy and work through lunch or take it early. But I know that being busy in the evening I will turn the alarm off and forget it. This way it is right there in my purse at my desk and I have my drink right there. I can just stop and take it.

I haven’t really noticed any thing to bad. I have been a little moody here and there but not anything that sticks around. I haven’t been feeling depressed lately, I have been in a pretty good mood over all. But I am only 6 days in. I hope that over the next few days/weeks that things don’t change.

Because it looks as if that is going to be what I am going to have to use for a while. I don’t make enough to pay over $300 for for insurance for just myself. I make to much to get Medicaid but am to below poverty level to get help on the market place to get insurance there. I reapplied for medicaid hoping the kids would get their’s back since I lost a job. Thank goodness they did. I on the other hand didn’t even get share of cost so I have no coverage what so ever if anything happens.

I did find out today I can get dental and vision insurance at work for around $30 a month. I do not have to have the medical in order to get them. I am going to cancel a few things and bite the bullet and get it. I really need to get new glasses the ones I have are over three years old and I can tell my eyes are worse. I am have got to get something done with my teeth. I hope to go to the local place over here and get them pulled. I think I can get them done for next to nothing. Then hope that I can use the insurance to get the new ones. If it won’t pay for new ones to at least pay a chunk of the cost or most of the cost for new ones. If not then I have been told that the owner at work will help get them done and then take a little out of your check each month. If he would take a little a month not a chunk each week or huge chunk each week.

All I can do with it all is wait and see and hope it works out.



{May 18, 2020}   Re: A New Position

So last week I told you that I moved into a new position temporarily why I wasn’t working at my day job and until the new girl started. On March 18 the owner said we would talk in two weeks and see where we stood. April first came and went and we didn’t talk. The new girl that had already started was sent home until after lock down because she works at a hotel at night and they felt she was to much of a risk to be around. So it was just me there doing my job and two other peoples. No one said not to come in or to go back to my other hours and the accountant and billing lady told me they wanted me to take the spot in the accountants office and stay there. They didn’t want the other new girl that was supposed to start any day. The billing lady said she did not want anyone else dong billing with her but me because she found so many issues with stuff the one who did start and worked some did.

I just kept working they said they were going to get the owner to keep me in that position and to put the two new girls in other spots. I said but he wants me over there and says he is moving me. They said don’t worry about it we will take care of that, just keep doing a really good job.

We are now a month past the time me and the owner talked and he still hadn’t said anything about getting together and talking. I see him every day he knows I am still coming in the other hours and just doing day hours. He hasn’t offered to talk to me or anything. Finally we were about a week and half before the first of May and they were talking about starting to open things around us. I stopped him Thursday evening and asked him if I could talk to him. It was after 6 everyone had went home it was just me him and M who works with at night I worked with there. M was outside or something. He said yes absolutely come on in. He is that way he has no problem taking time to talk to any of the employee’s if they need to talk to him about something. I knew if he had wanted to talk before that he would of let me know so I wasn’t to worried about it. But I needed to know where I stood with them talking about starting to open things up and all that.

I went in and I just told him, I said you know in March we said we would try this with the new hours and position and me helping out for two weeks until the other girl started. I said then things stayed closed and I have just been doing it. But things are opening back up or going to start soon and I just wanted to see where we stood since you said we would talk in two weeks and we hadn’t. He said we have a full time 40 hours a week day position we want to offer you it is yours if you want it. He said the position you are in now. He said I never would of thought a year ago when I hired you into my dispatch department that you would end up in my accounting office. He said but then you did and he said you just flourished and took off and are doing such an amazing job. He said you are very professional, you show up on time, you work, you get the job done you don’t have all these lose ends all over the place, you make sure it is right, you aren’t leaving or coming in late or calling out. He kept making comments about how professional I am and hard worker and things.

He said with the 40 hours after your first year you get a weeks paid vacation, after the second year you get 2 and after 5 years you get 3. He said you get health insurance I pay I flat $250 a person a month for that you pay the rest. He said I have a life insurance policy I pay in full for you at $25,000. The payroll employee screening company pays another $5,000 policy for each employee. He said bonus is like I gave you in March last time we talked. It is not tied to how well you have done through the year or anything like that. It is just a you work here we are going to give you a bonus kind of thing. He said it is $200 a year for every year you have been here. He said raises are not something we give to often and there is no ryme or reason why I give them or set time or amount. He said I give them to who I want when I want and I give what I want. He said it isn’t a set this time of year everyone gets one and they all get this much or that much. He said some get them some don’t and no one really gets them at the same time. No one knows if or when someone gets one or how much they got. He said your pay we brought you down a $1 with the new position. I said yes and……He said there was a couple reasons I did that. He said when you started you were only part time, you couldn’t get any health insurance and things like that. He said and you were working night shift not days. I said that was fine I under stood. He said but I accounted for the fact that you have been with us for a year, that you know the company and what is going on from a stand point that others in that area do not and that can help you and help them. He said and the fact you had already been helping them before you moved over there and knew parts of the job for that side. He said so I thought and felt it was fair to leave you were I did. I said that was fine and thank you. Because really it is I am days and not nights and I do get more hours and he does pay more for part time to make it worth it or try to. Plus I also know that I am making a $1 more an hour than the billing lady who has been there for 5+ years and that she is making the same as the new girl that just started. That is what they had started out telling me I would be cut back to if I stayed in one of the positions over there. I had said okay or I could do it maybe I would have to think about it but I was prepared to go in asking for what I am making now and pushing for it not backing down. Because I felt it was fair considering all the work I am doing that I am doing the work of three to 4 people. Even if the other lady was making less and had been there longer. She don’t do near what I do and I am in a different position than her. They want me trained to do her job, plus the job I am doing and both the new girls jobs. Because if one is out I have to be able to jump over and run the show in that area too on top of doing my job. I am handing a lot of things none of the rest handle and I am doing a split job. In he mornings I do billing then after lunch I work with the accountant and after that I fit in all the extra stuff that is just mine to handle. Or stay late to get it done.

But why he was talking about what he put my pay at and not giving raises on a set time and all that, he kept talking about how good of a job I am doing and how professional I am and things.

I also told him when I first went in and told him I wanted to talk to him about my job and hours and all that. I told him they were talking about starting to open things back up so I wanted to be able to let them know at my other day job I wasn’t going to be back. To give them enough time to find someone else and train them and things if they needed to. That I didn’t want to leave them stuck because I am the only one there that does what I do and that opens them and closes them and keeps them open through the day and calls to get them work.

That was when he was talking again about hard working and professional and things again. And he said I am sure you will be compinsated or you will be being compinated when things start to pick back up and if you keep working hard like you do and doing such a good job. In other words I can expect to be getting raises and that the work I am doing is being noticed. But that he has to wait for things to pick back up and get back to normal before he can do to much. I know the yard guy said he gave him like a $2 raise because he was doing such a good job and told him how good he was doing and things. Even if it is just extra bonus or something because I went in there and got them cleaned up and they went from weeks or month or more behind in billing to a few days to a week at any given time now. We are about to be up to billing the same day stuff is delivered. I am getting everything else in order and turned around and figuring out how to do everything that has not been done for months because the other two girls left and no one has touched their jobs since they left. It is a huge mess and every time I ask where is this or how do we do this all I get is figure it out so and so did it and we have no idea how or what she done she just done it. We never thought she would leave or thought about what we would do if she did. They are still coming up with stuff she done all the time and giving me going we forgot she did this. Oh she done this. we don’t know how she didn’t write it down or what figure it out put together something that works for you.

A raise or something extra would be great considering all I am doing. I don’t think he knows what all I am doing and if he knew I think he would be shocked. He may find out before to long because my boss has made a few comments to me and I am done and tired of it. If it keeps on I am going to go to the owner and say something.

But for now that is where we are. The girl that was supposed to be in my position started last week. They put her doing a different position she is fine with that. I am shocked she has been a bar tender for 5 years and has never done anything like I am doing. They were going to hire her to do it. I have not done what I am doing on a large scale like I am now but I have done it before on a smaller scale have experience. Not with all of it but a lot of it. Plus I have taken finance classes and tax classes and things. I know what is going on and things.

The other new girl that got sent home decided not to come back because she is still at the hotel and they asked her to start with and she said no. Then messaged back said yes and she couldn’t leave there to come here when that is where she has been able to work all this time. So now we have to fill that position. I am a little aggervated because I am doing 3 jobs really and all this time they kept saying once they come in and we fill those postions they will take some of the work load off of you and do that. That was the one that sits over there’s job so we will give some of this stuff back to them. Then brought them in and gave them a different position that has nothing to do with what I am doing and don’t plan to give them or the one some of this stuff I am doing back to her. That does make me mad because I was overwhelmed the first few weeks to month. Then the next few weeks I felt I was starting to get a grip on things and get them caught up. But now I feel like I am falling behind because I am doing everything for my boss and doing the billing that it don’t leave me time to handle my stuff they want me to take care of. I am going to give it a few more weeks and try to get myself straight again and get a system in place and see where to go from there. If I am going to be able to catch it up and keep it up and get a rutine going or am I going to have to say hey look she needs to take over some jobs or we need to hire someone to take over some jobs because i can’t keep doing three jobs and not for the pay of one. Then see where we all stand and what happens or if I will have to go to the owner. My boss is nice but I don’t need nice i need a boss that is going to do what needs to be done to get the job done. That is going to hire someone if that is what it means or divide work up with the others like he said or give me time in a day to do my job not just time to help him and help billing and then think it should all just happen and get done.

Plus I have not been trained all the way through on how to do anything. Parts of jobs here and there and mover on to a different part of a different job and do it because it needs done. Now when I have to go back and ask questions or don’t know something he makes comments about taking notes and things. I have tons of notes but when you have pieces here and there it is hard to put them together and make since. or when you were never told but he insist that he did and tells me to figure it out and get it together. I have a report that needs sent but he told me i should of taken notes and he told me already. I told him no he hadn’t he said figure it out. I got pissed off and had other stuff to do so I laid it down there and went to do what he said to do and get done. When he ask I am going to tell him it is right here you never showed me or told me how to do it. It isn’t even how to it. It is ready i just need the contact info for the person it is going to. He says I told you it was so and so. I said I don’t have his info. I gave it to you. I said no he you should of taken notes. I am not going to be done this way. He tells me one thing the new girl something else. I ask him the other day what he was telling her about a calunder to put our time off on so he could see it and would know about it. I was right now it was no secret that I could hear them talking. I said what a calunder? He said something. I said I was just told to email it to you. Now we need to put it somewhere else or do it different? He said no that is what I am showing her and told her to do too. I just heard him tell her different. Friday me and her went to lunch it came up she said yeah he told me to put it on this or that calundear and share it with him so he could see it. I said see that is what I was aksing him that day what he was talking about if we all did that or could. He told me no he was just telling you to email him and showing you how. She said yes I know I was wondering why and didn’t know what to say. I said no it was fine but you caught it too. She said yes and that isn’t’ all. I said yes I know he does things like this all the time. I am not going to put up with that either. I will go to the owner. I think the owner already knows and I know he isn’t happy with a lot that he has done and is doing lately. I don’t want his job or to see him get fired. But I am not going to be done this way either. I have seen him through the owners wife under the bus to him over stuff he was supposed to do and said he thought she was doing it. He told me he was supposed to before it ever happened got up and walked out went home. Never done it never talked to anyone. Then told the owner no your wife was supposed to let you know yesterday. I thought she was letting you know we talked about such and such and. He never talked to her about any of it he talked to the other lady there and me and that was that. I said I am just doing what I was told he told me he talked to you or would be. He didn’t tell me any different so I thought you were fine with it. I will stay late tonight that isn’t a problem i am use to it and will come in late the next few days so I don’t go over 40. That way I am here to do my night hours and whatever I have time fore before that to help day people. He said no don’t worry about it it wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t they told me to do something different he said he would handle it with him.

But over all I am happy and am sure these bumps along the way isn’t anything I can’t work through and get things settled down. How ever I may have to do it. Even the owners son is coming to me about things and wanting me to work with him on setting up our new computer system and things for our department. When that should be my boss and him and the other lady. But the other lady don’t care. He don’t want to work with my boss because he don’t like the way he does things and how he is still trying to do things even after having an employee that is being investigated and a computer taken for evidence and things. He called me to find out what the new girls needed to have access to and asking if they really needed this or that or not and things. I don’t mind helping him set a more secure system up for the whole place and agree with him things need to change even if my boss don’t like it. But I don’t feel I should be the one to be helping him unless the owner or my boss says to. After we talk I call the billing lady into our office and talk to her and the accountant and tell the what was said and what info he wants and things. Then I go back and tell the owners son this is what boss says, this is what so and so says and this is what I think, know or feel. So you can do what you think is right to do from all of that. He will say I don’t care what he has to say or yeah but what he is saying is wrong or not a good point or reason to do this or that. He will say this is what I am going to do will that let what needs to be done by who needs to do it be done? Or do they need more? I tell him that is what he does. I am sure if boss figured out that is what is happening he won’t be happy. But I am not hiding anything. Me and him are in the same office a foot apart and I am on the phone with him right there. I call the billing lady in there talk to them both about it and call owners son back right there tell him what was said. He hears it. I tell the owners son I think they need this or that but not this. They had this but no reason for them to now so we probably should take it or what. Because of what just happen we need to be careful. If boss don’t like it then he needs to be the one calling him and talking to him. Because I could put together a good system for all of us pretty easy I think if I was given a day or two to work on it. I know who is in dispatch and what they need access to. I know who is in my area and what they need access to. I could put it all down and everyone else in the building and make it so each area only had access to what they needed of each area’s info not full access to everything and free run to add delete or lose things. That is what the owners son is wanting to do but my boss isn’t wanting him to lock everything down so much. I kind of wonder why. Because as long as he has access to what he needs and everyone else dose as well why does he care what who don’t have access to? Unless he is in on this stuff with the other girl who is under investigation or doing something with the books. I may bring that up to him when we talk again.

It is late I better get off here. But I wanted to let you all know what happen about the position.

I went that Friday to tell them at my day job but I just missed the guys. I was off that following Monday so I went to tell them then. Only one was there but I went ahead and told him. They figured it was coming they know I need the money and things couldn’t afford not to work all that time. Plus pops kept telling me I needed to get on full time over there and take it that I had a really good opportunity over there and was better off over there. I told the one that was there, it is so much more about $4 or more an hour than what I make there, I have health insurance if i want or need it, I have life insurance I don’t have to pay. I get bonus, and like I told him if nothing else the experience that I am going to get working in the accounting office for a place like that. I can take that somewhere else and make decent money. Once I can show I have been there a year or two and know what I am doing. I could probably make twice what I am making now or close to it once I have the experience. Even without schooling. Plus I can start classes again and finish my degree I hope. I will have that much down and done.



et cetera
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