Let’s Get This Day Started

Well the work part of it anyway. Truth is my day stated over 6 hours ago with a lovely mommy, mommy wake up I don’t feel good, my belly hurts really bad. Then Little Bitty doubled over in pain and crying. Followed by three rounds of puking in 45 minutes or less. Poor baby girl was scared to death the first time. I gave her a bucket thing we had there so she didn’t have to have her face all in the toilet and she could sit she was hurting so bad. She got sick and there was something red in it. She freaked out started crying there’s blood, there’s blood. I was half a sleep didn’t know what she was talking about or saying at first then figured it out. It wasn’t but she was panicked because she thought it was.

After she was sick she said her stomach felt a lot better. She laid back down to try and go to sleep. She said maybe like the other week when you were sick I’m just going to get sick once and will be okay now. But in no time she was back up and sick again. After the 2nd time I started getting her ready to go to the hospital. We got almost to the hospital and she started getting sick in the car. We just threw the bucket away when we got there. We went in and there was a lady with her little boy that just got there as we did and got in before we did. She had a little boy that was sick coughing and things. They got him straight back and said they would come to get her in a few minutes.

Why we were sitting there she started crying in pain again and doubled over. They finally took her back. They said they were going to probably swab her for flu and get blood and things. I heard them talking to the lady with the little boy in the room over from us. They were telling her right away that he wasn’t going home they would be keeping him. They were going to do test and things on him there and send him out to one of the children’s hospitals. I was worried because he was getting sick in the waiting room.

The doctor finally came in and checked her out, he pushed all over her stomach and she didn’t even flinch. But said it was hurting. she didn’t even want me to touch her back she said it hurt so bad and was telling me to ask them not to push on her belly because she hurt so bad. Then laid there like nothing. The doctor told her he was going to get her to give him a urine sample before he did any other test and traumatize her. He said with little girls that little, They don’t always clean their self like they should and will cause UTI. He told her he was going to give her something so she didn’t get sick anymore and then some juice and crackers. The nurse came and got the sample and gave her the medication. About 730 they gave her crackers and juice and she held it down. They let us go home. he called her in medication to take to keep her from getting sick anymore. He said give it to her at lunch time and wait 20 or 30 minutes then let her have soup, crackers, things like that the next 24 hours.

I didn’t get to work until 11, I had to go home and get a shower, I went to bed early laid there awake until after 12 then was up with her at 530. I had plan to take one this morning but wasn’t going to take one before I took her because she got sick so much and I figured I would probably end up with puke on me as well before it was over. But I felt to gross not to take one before i came to work. I ran in took a shower why oldest got ready then we ran to the store and I came to work.

My friend I have been talking to messaged and asked if we were okay if she was alright. He told me to stop by his job on my way to work. I messaged and asked if he needed or wanted anything from the little store. He said a Mt. Dew. I took him that and stopped in he gave me a carton full of fried shrimp, I had said I was hungry. Oh my goodness it was so good. I have already eaten most of it.

I told Little Bitty to relax in bed today so that she hopefully don’t give it to anyone else. I told her she could play her tablet, light bright and stable there on the bed. She has more than enough room. We would watch our show together if she was still awake when I get there tonight. I hope that she is fine and feeling better tomorrow.

I wanted to stay home with her but I am missing my night job tomorrow because I am working my day job and they are working in the morning tomorrow. Then I am missing both jobs Thursday. So that would leave me missing 4 days of work basically if I was to miss today too. That is almost my full paycheck from my day job this week. I figure as long as she don’t puke anymore then she should be okay, not a lot I could do even if I was there other than just sitting there with her. I want to be but we need the money right now. With all the holidays and missed time already.

Re: An Almost New Game

Last night I messaged my boss and asked him if he would could ask his son to pull the game out and see what it was and everything. He said he was doing it then. In a little bit he messaged me back and said he had the slim with 500 gigs. He said he had 8 games on it as well. I asked if it was all saved or disk. He said saved. I asked him how much he wanted for it? He said tell me what you think is fair and it will be that. I had no clue what to tell him. I know new ones with no games are going for about $260.

My kids are still a little young for the games that he has I was going to tell him if he wanted to take them off that would be okay. But I had no clue what to give him as a price for it. I was at my night job horrible service and trying to decide. I didn’t respond I was going to talk to him when he came in today about it.

Today he had to be here at 10 when we opened to do some work for someone. He said he may not be here until 10:30 he had something to take care of he forgot about so I asked the people to come at 10:30 they did. He did end up going here right around 10. He had a bag with him. He sat it on my desk in front of me said this is for you. It’s the game. I said oh okay thanks and asked him how much he decided he wanted for it because I didn’t really know. I was thinking I would give him the $260 for it if he was willing to wait and let me pay him at the end of January for it and since it had all the games with it. Even though they wouldn’t play them I didn’t get to ask him to take them off and it is still way cheaper than what I would of paid for the one I have in there now.

He said no it’s for you, you can have it. We don’t use it I talked to the kids today and we agreed we just want to give it to you. I didn’t know what to say. I almost cried but stopped myself. I just told him thank you and it meant a lot to me. The kids would love it.

That just saved me $400 but now I feel bad I have to take this one back and tell them um yeah guess what I can’t use this after all someone gave me one. I know the people down there and things good so then I feel bad for taking it back. now I have to wait until the first of the year because of the way I have things set up it is going to cost me money I don’t have if I go ahead and take it back now. But hey they wouldn’t buy it either if they had basically a brand new one given to them. Why do I feel bad for returning something that is meant to be returned if you change your mind?

Not Desperate, But Pissed Off

One night last week I was talking to the driver from work that talks to me now and then on my drive home from work. He still makes comments about hooking up and things all the time. I tell him he needs to go over to such and such street he can find someone who will help him. He says he isn’t looking for something like that and how gross it is or what.

Then he says so hypothetically if you were to charge for it how much would you charge. I said I’m to expensive for what your looking for. I laughed and so no really I have no idea because I have never been that desperate. I have always been able to get up get the money and make something happen. Figure out how to take care of things.

I said people who do that are people who don’t want to put in the work to make the money or just looking for quick easy money. They have no interest in trying to make something happen or figure out other ways.

At the same time I was messaging my friend about something my car had done that night when I got in to leave work.  He messaged me back and we were messaging back and forth when it hit me.

The proposition  I made my good friend, when everything happen with the new truck I bought. I haven’t been that desperate but I have been that pissed off. Over being lied to, taken advantage of and the $4000 I just gave him for the truck.

Still that isn’t something I would of said to just any o body like this guy from work or what.





73 and Freezing

It is 73 degrees in my office and I am freezing. It was 60 this morning and said it wasn’t going to get over 70 today. I don’t know what it is outside right now. I have had the air off all day and can’t get warm. I am temped to open my little heater and plug it in. But I only have about 45 minutes of my dad left and don’t feel like messing with it. I was cool but not this cold through the day. The fact I am sleepy and irritated and thinking about everything today don’t help either. Being sleepy makes it worse and then being cold makes me sleeper. I just need 2 hours added to the day to sleep. I think I would be alright. I don’t know why two I just feel like if I had two extra hours at the end of the day once I got home and in bed that I could sleep I would be alright.

Enough of my rambling I need to get off here and figure out what I am having for dinner and lock things up so I can get to my next job. I am there until 12 so I can make up hours.

Shit Talking 101

I told you a while back in my post 34 to 54 and Us in-between about the one driver at my night job trying to take me and the other guy I work with at night out for a drink and to hang out. When he said no he kept asking me. We have been messaging back and forth and talk on the phone once in awhile. But that is it nothing else at all. He keeps trying to get me to go out with him and meet him and “help” him out. We mostly just joke around.

He said to me the other day I know nothing is ever going to happen between us, your just easy to talk to, joke around with and fun to talk to. I’m not trying to offend you or make you made. I said nope don’t make me mad. Takes a lot to get to me or make me made.

So he is always saying stuff and talking shit. I told him the other day all you guys take that same Shit Talking 101 class and think you are the man. You all say the same thing and it gets none of you anywhere. He comes off with class I wrote the book. Blah, blah. I laughed and told him I wouldn’t admit to that. Later I told him, he may want to rewrite that book and do some more research. It comes up here and there I say something about that class. He said something I said you really should just burn the book. He said yeah I think you are right. It has been no help so far.

He said something about getting together maybe if he kept trying one day I would change my mind.

I said you can get in line with the others but it never moves just so you know. I sent him this picture

He says I skipped and jumped ahead I’m first in line. I said first middle last next to the back or front really means nothing when the line never moves.

Another time we were talking and he was saying something and I made a wise crack. He said why do you have to be so mean and cold? Laughed. I sent


He made comments back and then says and as for my balls….um…um. yeah I don’t know what to say to that.


I replied





Last week I posted that I was looking for an office or two, to clean on the weekend. He massaged me a few days later and said he had carpet to put down in his truck and wanted to know if I wanted to clean the truck and help him lay the carpet.

I laughed at him and said oh so is that what you guys are calling it now laying carpet? He said no no really I seen you were looking to make some extra money and I need the truck cleaned. Doors, windows, windshield, shelves, bunk all that. I need the floor cleaned good so I can lay the carpet. I may need help getting it cut and laid down so it don’t take forever. I’m not trying to get you in my truck and do something. I said um hum sure I bet you have some candy too.

He said no we all pretty much keep the same truck we do what we want or with them and have to keep them clean. He said really if you talk to some of the other guys they may pay you to clean theirs out when they get back from their runs. Most don’t feel like it or want to take the time to clean them.

I told him I would have to see I wasn’t sure. That it would depend what time I got off work. it was Friday the kids wait up for me to get off and come home on Fridays since there is no school the next day. I had to go home normal time so they weren’t waiting because my little one gets tired and would fall a sleep.

I told him maybe one other night during the week when I got off since they would already be a sleep and I didn’t have to rush home. He showed up to put the carpet in the truck and show me he really had carpet and wasn’t just saying it and he really needed it cleaned. Earlier when we were messaging about it he asked me how much. I really don’t want to do it because it is late and I am tired after work. I didn’t want to do it being out there and in the truck and things because you know how people talk and I don’t want to have shit started about oh being in his truck or whatever. Even if just joking someone takes it to far and I would go off, say something and who knows where it would go from there.

I told him $25 he said that was steep, I said I don’t know never done anything like that before. He said it is only about 30 minutes worth of work probably. I said I don’t know how much is it worth or what do you think? What were you thinking to pay? He said no I pay it that is alright. I am just thinking it is late, I am doing this during the week after working two full shifts, I’m tired and even if it is only 30 minutes of work is it worth it to me for less than $25? It is a one time thing not full time like if it was an office or what i was looking for. So if he really wants it done and to make it worth it to me to do it when it is harder to do than cleaning an office really at least $25. Because I have to climb up in the truck get around and under everything in a tight space, up and down with supplies buckets of water and things to clean and clean the floor. bending under and around everything. I don’t have all that in an office I’m not bending under and around stuff to clean the fools or under the dash and things in an office. That is all hard on my back and getting all the buckets and things of water up and down. That is like cleaning bathrooms, making beds and that kind of thing that kills my back and I can’t do all the time. That is why offices are easier and I can go in there at 3 am on a Saturday or Sunday or 9 pm. As long as it is clean before they get back Monday. I am not having to do it after a double shift tired and wore out already.  I never did do it he didn’t get a hold of me over the weekend and is back out. I figure he will want to do it when he gets back. Hopefully he forgets it or does it himself.

He is a nice guy but just older than I am looking for and he isn’t looking for anything other than someone to go to dinner with or have drinks with once in a while when he is here and hook up with. I am not looking for that. I’m not looking to get into anything with anyone from work. Friends that is it nothing more.


Is There Something Wrong

I have been watching a lot of tv lately as well when I haven’t been on here. I wanted to watch something on netflix so I signed up and watched it and I have binge watched I don’t know how many shows all the seasons and then some had new season come out and I went back and watched those. Some have a bunch of seasons like Cold case or Forensic files things like that. I go through and pick out the most interesting ones and watch them.

I don’t know why I have been so into watching t.v lately as I had not watched anything hardly since I started working the two new jobs. Here and the car lot then the trucking place. I would watch a show with little bitty at night when I was off but that was it. We would watch something when we would go to bed at night. Then I started getting home long after she went to bed I hadn’t been watching anything. But now I think that phase has passed for a bit. I can’t find anything that holds my interested anymore. The shows I really like are over for this season.

Thinking about it before that it was podcast I was listening to them and I had never listed to them before. But I did for months and listen to show after show on a bunch of them finished some even. But lost interested in them pretty quickly as well. Well if you count two or three months quickly. It really is I guess. I had tried to get back into the pod cast the last few days I need something for background noise but I just can’t find anything to listen to. I use to use music but it isn’t working either.

My blog has kind of been the same for me I can get into it and be on here and write every day or few days for a while then I drift off for a while then things cycle back around.

But for me it seems to be happening more and more often than before. I lose interest quickly and have a hard time finding something else to fill that spot. I don’t know if it is to do with other changes I have noticed that seem to be getting worse or if it is just me and the spot I am in right now and it is just how life is.

I am wondering if the effects from my concussion I got back when I wrecked my truck in 2015 are getting worse. I don’t know if that is even possible or not. I never seen a doctor but the one time they said I had one rest blah blah. But as I have said in other post I see a big impact on my concentration, understanding, reaction to things and more. It takes me a minute to process what someone says. They can say click on this or that on this spot of the screen it it looks like this. I am moving the mouse but on the other side of the screen and looking for it. I know what they said but I have to get the mouse think about what they said then really look at the screen and find what they are talking about even if i have done it a dozen times before. It sounds like oh well everyone has to do that or what but it is different. You someone says do this or that you just do it kind of automatic there is no just react automatic response anymore. I hear what they say but I have to stop and think about it say it to myself in my head and take a few seconds to get it and then carry it out.  In the mean time they are sitting here waiting for you to do something see you doing something different or looking around lost or clueless and think your stupid or something. It isn’t it you just don’t have that response like most do. To try to explain that to someone they look blankly at you like your stupid or they have no clue what you are talking about or wonder why you are telling them this just do what they asked.

Spelling I know has not ever been my strong point but had gotten a lot better. Now I will write the wrong thing know it isn’t right when I am doing it but still do it and have to then go back and fix it. Or put the wrong thing and not even know it but when I go back and read it know right away that I put the wrong word and have no idea why I put that word because it isn’t the word I wanted or even close or anything to do with the word. The other day my boss said put take boys to soccer on the calendar for me please. I pulled the day up put the time and put take boys to scooter. I knew that something wasn’t right when I did it but went on filling everything else in. My boss said soccer. I said yes I know he said you put scooter. I looked and was very confused why I put that I knew then why it didn’t seem right when I was doing it. When I was typing it out it didn’t seem right I couldn’t figure out why because he said put soccer I did. I know how to spell soccer no problem but it turned into scooter.

I can be in the middle of doing something and forget what word I need and use some other word that makes no since at all while talking. Not just writing. I have had things right in my face and for the life of me can’t tell you what it is. Simple things like a jacket or book.

I know everyone dose things like that from time to time and you just get busy, stressed or tired whatever and mess up. But this isn’t like that at all. This is different. Even my oldest has pointed things out when I am reading or i say the wrong thing or we are driving and I know where we are going go a 100 times a year and I go the wrong way or forget where I am going half way there and have to ask her where we are going. What I was supposed to be doing or what.

It is starting to bother me. I don’t know if it is just the being more busy having to think more and do more have more task to get done at one time or what it is. But it seems like it is all happening more and more often and I don’t like it.

I don’t know what to do about it or for it or how to change it. I don’t know if it is from what happen before or something else. I feel like if I go to the doctor they are just going to blow me off and act like I am crazy it’s normal people do that kind of thing once in a while. But I don’t  know how to make them see it isn’t once in a while. But really what could they do anyway? I think it also plays a factor in why I haven’t written as much even when I have things to write about. It is just harder to focus and get it out.

Just like with the tv, radio and pod cast I could jump from one to the other to something else through out the day or week and not bother me lately it’s like I have to play one until I am bored with it and can’t find no more before I can move on. Once I go back to it or to something else still can’t find something to keep my interest. Things I have liked to watch for years or listen to I don’t anymore. Just changed over night almost it seems.

Was I Stupid For Thinking

That things had finally turned around and I was going to get things paid up and do a little more than struggle for a while? For being so happy and excited the other day when paying things up? I am starting to feel like I was. Now that I am $600 + under water already less than a week later. I honestly did not see this coming. I thought we were good on making payment and I was getting somewhere. I wasn’t to worried about the $20 extra on the car insurance I was going to swing it and still be okay. But now with the other and Halloween and everything else all hitting I feel like I was slammed back to reality of we aren’t meant to do anymore than struggle to get by or have anything more.

I am short for this week coming up don’t know how I am supposed to pay things or take care of things now. I can’t take another advance to make up for the amount they are pulling out until next Wednesday. That is to late because this is my rent money I need it will be late they will add a late fee and the cycle just keeps going. I know I can get out of it I just can’t figure out how.

I have even looked at trying to get another job to do in the day that pays more but I can’t find anything. Everything pays $10 an hour or less or requires a lot more hours than I have and still don’t pay enough to only work one job. I have even looked for a different night job that would let me just work one job but can’t find anything that pays good enough there either.

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