Single___Parent___Life











{February 26, 2021}   Not Safe Anymore

I get home Monday night and I see flashing lights on the street between me and the school. From where I was I thought they were closer to the stop, where JW’s best friend lives. As I got closer I could tell there was a lot of cops and they were about half way down the street but that was it.

I pull in park and go inside and said something about the police down the other street. They start telling me they called them. My oldest said her and 2nd oldest went to walk the dog and get clothes from the dryer.

She said they were standing in the yard talking and all of a sudden they heard something. Then they heard a car and it came flying by the house. She said she didn’t know how they made the 90 degree turn without wreck. Then they heard a women or girl screaming for help and someone to please help her coming from over where the car came from.

She said they were scared to call the police because of the DCF bullshit but the lady sounded so upset and they knew something was wrong she sounded so bad. So they called and a bunch of police came flying by.

We went on with our night I checked to see if anyone around me was talking about it olives.on line because my friend lives across from JW’s and he post if he see’s things going on or messages me because he knows the kids are here when i work. But he hadn’t posted anything. I took my shower and ate dinner and kind of forgot about it. I was flipping channels and stopped on this one I never watch. I don’t know if I went to do something or why it was on there. Well in a little bit news comes on. The first thing they say is 17 year old shot in my area. Not putting 2 and 2 together for some reason. I look up as they flash a picture and show the street between me and the school. The street JW’s friend lives on. Who has a 17 year old son. I walked out in the living room the kids were freaking out.

Little bitty is pointing to the tv telling me thats at their school. It basically is the back yard butts up to the school its right on other side of the fence. Mr. 10 has his hands around his face\head and asking if that is really by us that close. He is my one with high anxiety. Mr.15 is pacing the kitchen asking if I found a place to move yet and when we can move. Oldest is telling me she should of got the car’s tag number and she seen it they could know who it was.

I told her it was fine she did the right thing. Told them it was a targeted shooting. Trying to calm them down some and hopefully keep them from worrying. Although it’s to to close to home and anything could of happened. But us mom’s we have to try to put our kids fears to rest even if we are sick from it all right? I was thinking they know my kids seen them leaving there what might they come back and do? I don’t think anything really but it’s something to worry about.

Soon as I got done with them I went back to my room and called JW to see if he seen the news. He said no and I told him what was going on. He said I have to go make a call I will call you back. He wanted to check on his friends kid. He couldn’t get him. The next morning all the cars were home. He still couldn’t get him. He finally got in touch with him later in the day. Something was wrong with his phone. But his kids were okay.

Then JW finds out it is the two guys he works with it is their cousin that was shot. I am a little pissed off about it for a few reasons. A while back officers seen a car that matched one they were looking for. It was over in an area about 5 minutes away. There was the driver he picked up a kid and there was one other in the car. Not sure if he was already in or got in too. They backed out started to go and the cops came out told them to stop had guns out. The drive did not stop they told him again. He still kept moving the car after telling him 3 times i think the cop shot it killed the 2 boys in the front seat. Everyone had a fit rallied in the streets everything else. Even boy in backseat of the car said he could hear the cop saying stop.

It was said they had been on tik toc waving guns around and pointing them at people just before this happened this why they were pulling them over.

Then at the funeral some 16 year old had a gun on him dropped it or something. Shot him and another girl at the funeral. Now this with 17 year old in my yard basically scaring my kids.

It pisses me of because 1) kids and parents need to look at who their kids are running with and what they are into. 2) teach them better to start with so they aren’t out here doing this stuff. 3) take it somewhere else not our decent nice areas. 4) I was already moving in the next few months now its asap because my kids don’t feel safe.

My area was a nice area I grew up here running all over. I would walk to the store’s work, shop or hung out. We would go play on the playground at the park. I have been here since 2014 my kids have never done these things. It sucks that now they could it isn’t safe. People like this guy call you friend why him and his family are part of the issue and bring it to your house like this.

This has been my week. Hope your is better. I will fill you in on the house hunting renting\buying mess in another post. Spoiler alert it isn’t going well. But of course not when dose it?



When we left off I told you all the Bitch had called the police so many times about someone being “after” her that they came in the night with dcf. Well I haven’t heard from them since even when I messaged her the next day saying I had questions. I do not think they have an open case the way she said do what I needed to do when she left. And that it was a civil matter I think is the words she said. But I still look for her to show back up unexpected. I figure in March to see if I am moving or have her out of there. I would have thought they would of sent me a letter saying I had an open case or I didn’t have a case but nope nothing. But we don’t really have the most professional staff when it comes to these places.

Don’t get me wrong there are a handful scattered throughout these places and the one’s who work with them most are nice. But at the end of the day they all come from right here with in the county and that says a lot considering the shape of our county. They have “requirements” but mostly end up settling for what they can get.



{January 3, 2021}   It Is Pretty Bad When

You know the other night I went back out and told the social worker yes I was seeing someone. But I didn’t tell everyone here and hadn’t brought him around.

The first thing she said was no no no you don’t want to bring him around her and her maybe say or do something cause problems.

That is pretty bad when she had been here 30 minutes and can already see how she is. Knew that she would try to cause problems.

The way she is you don’t even have to give her the rope. She will bring her own to hang herself on in situations. It is just how she is, she don’t know how to talk to people or handle situations. If she don’t feel like she is getting what she wants she freaks out. Instead of staying calm and talking to people normal. Like the worker said she tries to turn everything around on someone else. She was trying to turn all this around on the worker the other night. I think had I not known more spoke up said the things I did they may have taken my kids.

I even told her from the start tell her she can’t be here she has to leave I have no problem at all with that. You tell me it comes to her my kids I go sit her stuff out tell her to go now. I don’t care.

She ask where she was going to go? I said I don’t know I don’t care. She lied when she came here not supposed to still be here. I am moving leaving her if she goes now is fine with me as well. Make life better the last few months easier.

Then later she came off with the kids can’t be here alone with her. I had to have someone here with all of them why I worked. I said I can not do that. I don’t have anyone. So she has to go. Before she left as she was going out the door I thought of it asked her what about work them being here. She said do what you need to do. So I been going to work. I think sincce she talk to her boss she said it was civil things changed. I am calling Monday to ask her if this is closed or what.

If she says it is not closed I still have a case for 60 days I am going to put them to work for me. Get Father of the years warrant taken care of. Get them to pick him up. Get us back in court. Now get his rights taken so I don’t have to worry about him any more. He is never going to pay.



{September 17, 2020}   Re: Screwed Up Big Time

I had told JW yesterday morning when I realized what had happen. I picked him up we went and got something to eat. Came home walked the dog and ate dinner. We started to talk and then had to stop to take care of something. We ended up going to bed kind of early. We laid down and I told him I screwed up. He asked what happen?

I said I screwed up. He ask what I done what was wrong? I told him earlier I did and he wanted to know what. I told him we would talk in person. I said we may have an issue. He said we why what is wrong babe? I told him the last couple nights when he was asking about what to do, I wasn’t thinking about what he was talking about at the moment.

He started he was sorry, he should of done more and got something and things.

I told him that wasn’t what I was saying. He tried to do something but that I just messed up. He said he was sorry again he should of did more. He said if he was meant to have another baby he would of had one by now. He would of had one with his ex because she had her iud taken out.

He really thinks it can’t happen. He can’t have any more kids because in the 8 or so years they were together they didn’t. I keep telling him maybe because of how she was and how things were. I don’t know why people think like this.

I told him everything being a mess and not tracking and things for so long that it was going to take a few months or so before it will be usable. He said yeah he knew and things. It wasn’t a big deal or what. He said he was going to have to get the bag of goodies and put in the night stand 😄.

I have to say it wasn’t what I expected. I don’t know what I expected but not him to be do it’s okay or not a big deal. I know, he knows, I didn’t do it on purpose or anything like that. Sadly I guess I am just so use to fighting over everything and being told how it’s my fault or what. I hope not but if ut is then it is. We will do what we have to do.

 



Yesterday I got to work a half hour early because I was making up hours I was going to miss today. As I was pulling into the parking space my phone started ringing it popped up as work. I thought it was very odd because no one ever uses the work phones to call each other. We always use our cells. I wasn’t due in for another half hour. No one knew I was coming early. I thought oh boy here we go something has happened and now I am going to lose this job. I started not to answer just go in but I wanted to know what to expect before walking in the door and being hit with something. I wanted to be prepared how to handle whatever it was.

I answered it was our HR lady. She said she was asked to call everyone she wanted to call me first she knows I would be in soon and have kids. She said we have our first covid case and it is here in the office with us. She said he hasn’t been to work since Friday and he isn’t sick. He had a sore throat that is it. We thought from dental work but, he tested positive. I told her I was in the parking lot I was coming in. She said they were cleaning the office and from what they were being told felt it was safe. I said yes I did too. She said we just don’t know about others in the office if they have it. Anyone of us could have it. I said but we have all already been exposed.

I went and clocked in and everyone was in a buzz. Trying to clean and find testing places, try to find out prices, times, if you had to make an appointment or walk in/drive up or what. I found a walk in that did the test for free. I decided to go there they decided to go to the one at the local school in the next town over. I didn’t want to drive up sit in my car for who knows how long and I wanted to talk to a medical person. The people they have doing the swabs in the drive up ones are who ever they hire off the street to do it. They pay them $35 an hour pay their room and food. So they can not answer anymore questions than what we already know really or what they are told to tell us.

I told them when I got there what I was there for and that I had direct contact with someone who tested positive. I figured they would want to put me right back into a room or have me wait outside or something. Nope had me fill out paperwork left me sitting in the waiting room. As if it was no big deal. Why when I went to get my eye’s checked you have to wait in your car and they don’t let more than a few people in at once.

They finally took me back the nurse or tech did the nose swab and said the PA would come check me and answer questions. She looked at in my eyes throat and listen to my lungs and heart.

I asked her about all this and how blown up and scare tactics it really was?

She looked at me. I said I know it is real I am not disputing that. I said but I don’t think it is as bad as they are making it out to be. I said they tell you only how many people tested positive not how many had no symptoms, how many are recovering how many aren’t getting deathly ill. They just tell you this many died, these hospitals have full ICU bed. I said they don’t tell you why the icu beds are full. How many are covid how many are other reasons? I said years ago my dad was in icu a week beds were full. Covid wasn’t around they all had different things wrong.

She said you are right everything you are saying. She said she works at a local hospital they have 5 icu units most people don’t know that. That when they say all beds are full that could be one unit or is most times. That if they have 6 trauma people come in one is full. I said I feel they are not saying most people who are getting deathly ill or passing are people with underlying issues. She said yes true. She said not that I haven’t treated 30 or 40 year olds who were other wise healthy that got very ill or who passed. I said I am sure you have but that is like anything a healthy 20 something could get the flu and pass or a infection of some kind that most get over and pass. That is just how it is a fluke thing. She said yes. She finally said I really hate to say it from a medical stand point and field but they have put a lot of fear or scare out there to get people to comply.

I left and went back to work. Only a few showed back up after their test. I got there about 12 by 4 they were telling us to go home. Not to come back until we have negative test results. So we all left.

Of course when I told them at home that I have been exposed the Bitch freaked out. I can’t come home blah blah bullshit. I said fine I will go stay with Bff then. She is tested every so often anyway because she works at the assisted living. They have had it at the nursing home across the street and workers going back and forth. So she has been too. I came and stayed at JW house for the night. I told her it take 3 to 7 days for results.

This morning while I was in the middle of writing this they sent a group text saying X places have the rapid test for $150. Insurance don’t pay for it. The HR lady ask me in a private text if I was going we had been talking. I told her I lost a job in March been down to one job since. I could not put out $150 for it. The days we are missing we can make up once we go back so i am not missing money there. She said she understood. They really don’t want us working 2 jobs right now because of it either. We are exposing our self more and in turn risk exposing them as well.

In bit the owner sent a message in the group chat saying he would reimburse anyone who went and got the rapid test and that they had people coming in cleaning the office and no one is to come back until they have a negative test. I messaged her private again ask her if he was and what clinics they found that had the test? The ones by me said they no longer had them and was not getting more and their other clinics didn’t and wouldn’t either because they cost so much and insurance wasn’t paying. She gave me the numbers and I called the one that was closer to me to make sure. They said yes. I went straight there and got it. It came back negative but there is still 20% + chance it could be wrong.

I left there and went by JW job work called like yesterday morning. I answered it was the HR lady. She said her and the other hr kind of guy would be there about 25 more minutes or in in the morning. She said owner said we could get tested and be paid back as soon as we got in office in am or they could give us a tch and we could cash it and go get the test if we could not pay upfront and wait. I said I seen his message and went ready I just got back. She said what did it say? I said negative of course. She said good good see you in the morning then? I said yes. She said take a snip of the transaction on your account print it we will get your money in the morning. I know you are worried about taking care of them babies. I said they gave me a payment amount on my paper. She said oh great they didn’t mine.

So I get to go back tomorrow and Saturday. I did not tell them at home yet I’m not tonight. I may tomorrow. I don’t know yet. I get home go to my room and sit for the night she has them so scared to be around me they don’t come in there like they use to. It isn’t healthy why i want to get her out or us moved. The way she is is not good for them to be around. But with me working she is there more than me they listen to what she says when I’m not there. If I decide to go home I will tell them tomorrow we got rapid tested. If not i will wait until Monday tell her I got my other results or we went for the fast test. I figure she is going to want to wait until the other test since there is chance for the fast test to be wrong. Not that the other can’t either but who knows. My luck my other will come back say yes this one says no. I am interested to see if that happens with anyone since most of us have had both test now or a group of us has. To see what happens then.



{July 8, 2020}   I Come Prepared

Sunday I go over to JW’s after a fairly hard week and Saturday. I had been battling my depression something hard all week and spent most the time I wasn’t at work or home crying. I had broke down and cried when I was with him a few times.

Sunday I was feeling a little better I stopped over there. He asked what I was doing. I told him. He asked if he could go. We took off to get things done. We were riding around talking and some how babies and baby stuff and all that came up. I truly can’t remember how or why. But I said I had a crib in my closet. We were talking. He stopped and said what a crib? Why do you have a crib?

My youngest is 7 so. He was trying to figure it out. I was just driving along carrying on a normal conversation he ask this. I never looked at him missed a beat cracked a smile nothing. As i replied to him. I just said I come prepared. Omg the silence and the little bit of the look i could see on his face and in the reflect on the glass. 🤣 It was beyond priceless. I can’t even explain it. I said what? He couldn’t even look at me. He was so shocked and at a loss for words. I thought i was going to have to give him CPR. By this point I busted out laughing. I was laughing so hard, i was crying and my stomach was hurting. He was like uh ah um man that wasn’t even funny. I said maybe not but omg the look on your face was beyond funny. I wish I had that recorded. He started laughing too. He was like that was just not right, that was just wrong. We laughed some more. He was like I’m glad I can make you laugh at least.

But what was he thinking? He knows we talked about it more than once I do not want to have anymore. He don’t want to have anymore. His are grown, like 18, 20 and 22 i think. And he knows I went and got on the pill. He was so shook by what I said. But he is the one at the same time told me don’t worry about birth control or condoms. I can’t have anymore. When he has done nothing to prevent it from happening. He thinks because him and his ex didn’t get pregnant in all the years they were together it can’t happen. She had kids he has kids he just got lucky. Even if it couldn’t he don’t know if it was because of him or her. It isn’t like he went to see. It just didn’t happen so he assumes. There is no doubt in my mind if I had not gotten on something or used something we would probably already be pregnant right now. But then he freaks out about a comment or the thought of it.

I called my friend J who moved away today. I said you know how I always leave you speechless and in shock. She said yes only you all the time. I started laughing and told her that I had left JW shocked beyond what she could of ever been or thought. She said omg what did you do to him? What did you say?

I told her what happen and what was said. She was like omg no you didn’t, omg, omg I can’t imagine what he was thinking. I can’t believe you did said that. She said I can’t imagine if you said that to me and what my reaction would be. But this is the person your with, you love, your planning a future with and SLEEPING with. Do you know what he must of thought. Do you know what is going to be in the back of his mind every time you do something now. She ask if he had kids and how old they were he was. I told her. She was like omg no wonder he don’t want more and you went and said something like that. I laughed. I said no he is alright now. He knows I don’t want more it was a joke. She was like yeah but he going to always have that little thought in the back of his head do you really want one more.

She said why do you say stuff like that? How do you come up with stuff like that just in an instant like that? You got to stop saying stuff and doing stuff like that 🤣.

I was laughing when he came to the truck. He was looking at me like what now. I told him I told her what I had said to him. He laughed. But you know what, you have to be able to laugh and joke around together. I have to be with someone I can the way my depression is, I have to laugh and joke when I can. I’m not making fun of anyone or being mean or anything like that. Its just stupid stuff. It isn’t like we haven’t talked about it and know where we both stand or that we have different views on it. I’m not trying to push or trick him into having another kid. Like I said he knows I got on the pill, i make sure I stop whatever I am doing and take it and everything. I think the reality that it could happen even if we are careful hit. That even if we don’t want another it could happen hit. And for me to say that it was the last thing he expected he needed a second to process. He laughs and even today talked about it. We both know we don’t want more. It was just a joke to laugh lighten a miserable week.

 

 



{July 8, 2020}   Simple But Good Day

Yesterday wasn’t anything special just another day really. I had an eye appointment at 11:15 about 10 miles north of home. Work is about 25 south so there was really no point in me going to work before. I would have to leave right away to get to the appointment on time.

So like any other I got up normal time and went to JW house. It was early so I laid back down. We curled up and fell right back to sleep. I guess we were both sleeping good we slept through his alarm. Next thing I knew he was waking me up it was time we should be leaving and he wasn’t even ready.

The dog had his recheck at 9:30 since we hadn’t able to take him a week or two ago when he should of went. I figured it was easier to take him today why I had time rather than try to fit it in. I told him he was okay with it for the most part. He was worried about me taking him alone. He likes to pull and drag. He is a good size boy about 100lb Black Lab. I really wasn’t he listens to me pretty well and I am use to dogs that like to pull. My big girl was about his size and a runner/puller. He knows who is boss when I am around he is dealing with me.

We took him with us when we left. We got our coffee and gas then dropped JW off at work. To the vet’s we went. We were about 30 minutes early but they came right out to the car got him and was back in just a few to let me know what they thought. We were on our way in no time. We stopped at JW’s on the way home we pass it on the way and told him what they said. After that I took him home had a talk with JW’s landlord that was there and laid down to cool off before I had to go get my eyes checked.

I got there to get my eyes checked and they got me in pretty fast. The doctor said I had just been there in 2018. I was thinking it was a lot longer than that. After he did the check he said I should be able to see a lot better once the new glasses come in. I can’t believe they have changed so much in 2.5 years and mostly since March. He said being on the computer a lot more for work now will do it. I ended up paying $120 for my glasses. There were things I had to pay for that I didn’t before. But when we were done she said it was almost $500 i only had to pay the $120 so I guess I can’t complain.

I left there and went to work. I clocked in a few minutes after 1. I took off 30 minutes earlier than I normally do and still only need to make up 1.5 hours. I can do that easy this week. But if I had stayed later I would of had to take a 30 minute break. I could just leave early. Anything over 5 hours a day you have to take 30. That would of put me there another hour and I needed to leave in 30.

I picked JW up at work and we went home. I had told him earlier I would like to go out for dinner. We went walked the dog and decided what we wanted. We ordered from a little pizza place here in town. They close early so we just brought it back to his place and ate. We sat there for a bit after talked and joked around before I had to go.

I didn’t want to go at all. I just wanted to stay sitting there laying on his shoulder watching tv until we were ready for bed then go to bed.

I was laying here thinking about it when I got home. How over all what a nice stress free day it was. We did what we had to do help each other and just relaxed this morning and this evening. Then because of me it was kind of ruined because I had to go home.

Laying here thinking about it. I want that togetherness, that closeness, that family feel again. I want us all under one roof so we can just do what we need to do and not worry about getting up early going over there to see him pick him up take him to work. I don’t have to now he can get a ride i can sleep in until i leave for work but then i hardly get to see him at all. I don’t have to pick him up in the evenings but i want to. If we were all home together under one roof it would take away all that extra time I spend trying to make time to see him away. We could see each other a lot more spend a lot more time together and with the kids.

But with everything how it is even if I tell my kids we still couldn’t have that right now. It would make it harder to see him and for us to spend time together instead of easier. Another reason I just want out of here this state away from everything. I don’t miss nothing here but a few family.

For the first time tonight that I want us together all under one roof, i want us as a family, i want the kids to know just all felt right. I wanted to call the kids in here and tell them. I wanted to tell him i just wanted to call him and tell him to come over. To come stay the night or what. I didn’t and still don’t have that feeling of wanting to tell the kids but worried about telling them. I want them to know. I want to tell them. I want them to hang out together get to know each other better and start bonding. I don’t know what has changed my mind because even the last week or so I have been worried about when and how to tell them. But just something over the weekend and the last few days just clicked I guess and I feel this is right, this is what I want, it is okay. It feels good.



Had to edit to add a title lol

I am so happy with J.W and our relationship. He is always committing on me looking at him. Or stairing at him. A lot of times in the mornings when I go over and he is sleeping. I didn’t even relies I was doing it.

But lately it just seems to good to be real and I just lay there and wonder when it’s all going to blow up. The closer we get to telling the kids the more worried about it I am. The more uneasy I feel and the more i wonder if I should tell them. I feel like we are 5 months together it is just a matter of time wait it out. The last relationship only lasted about 8 months. By the time I tell the kids it will probably end so why tell them at this point?

I try to tell myself it isn’t true he cares and wants to be with me and the kids. He is excited about getting to know them and do things be a family. That him and the kids would get along together so well.

My mind goes to but is he really going to want all this once he gets a car? Is he really in this and want it? Once he gets a car is he going to find someone that has more free time? Don’t have all the extra going on? Or just decide he rather be single?

He says all the time why didn’t we talk more back years ago? I wish I knew what was going on and what you were going through. I would of put a stop to it i woulld of helped you. I am so happy you found me and messaged me. I am so happy. He tells me all the time he can’t wait until things are different for us. The kids know things open we can all do things together. Just Thursday night he was telling me when he gets his car and things each weekend he is going to take one of the kids and spend time doing something they want to do just them. To give them some time away from the other kids and some one on one time with them to get to know them and the things they like to do.

Yet I am just waiting for it to all blow up. Thinking is it worth involving the kids. The last few days he keeps asking what is wrong. He say’s I have that look like I want to say something but I’m not. I just say nothing he say’s don’t tell him nothing he knows something is. I don’t know what to tell him or how.



{May 19, 2020}   No Boyfriend to Married

Me and Little Bitty had a talk again last night. She been in a mood all evening and from what I gathered pretty much all day. As soon as we turned the light out to go to sleep she started crying. I asked what was wrong.

She said she just really wanted to see her dad and for him to see how big she was and how good she is doing. She said she wanted him to be proud of her a do things with her. Get to know him.

I told her that one day I hope he will come around and want to know her as well. I said what if we added a new family memeber to our family?

She said yeah but I just want my dad to do things with.

I told her that if I got a boyfriend then he would or could do dad things with her. That her dad would still be her dad but he would do the dad stuff her dad wasn’t here doing with her. She stop crying and thought about it scooted over closer to me.

She said he would?

I said I bet if we find the right one he would. She said but he would have to like me too not just you.

I said if I had a boyfriend he would have to like all of you not just me.

She said I bet he would have a dog and then our dog would have a friend too. But his dog can’t teach our dog bad habitats. They have to play and get along. I said so you can sleep in your room in your bed take the dogs to snuggle. She said no that is okay I like snuggling you better. He will have to snuggle us and watch Heart Land if he lives with us. You two can watch shows I can’t once I go to sleep.

She thought about it some more and said would he be my other Step dad? I said you don’t have a step dad. She said yes and said Father of the year. I told her he was the other kids dad but not her step dad. That if someone was going to be her step dad that would mean we had to get married. She said okay if you find a good one that likes us and you then I guess that would be okay. If you wanted to get a baby you could do that. I said first off no babies. She said well if you got married you have a baby. I said no I have all the babies that I want. I am not having no more babies. She said okay good I would rather you not. So if you get a boyfriend and you get married don’t be going to the hospital because you will end up with a baby. People go there and if there are two red they are pregnant and get a baby. But if there is just one red then they aren’t pregnant and don’t get a baby. I said two red what? She said I don’t know it is just how it works. You go see if you have one or two reds and find out of your are getting a baby.

She told me again how we could work together at the same job and put our money together to pay bills. That he could live with us if he has a nicer house we could live with him.

She stopped and looked worried for a minute. She said be would have to know there is a granny and she is sassy and not be scared off by her. I said i am sure he would understand their is a granny and I think it would take more than her to scare him off. She said I don’t know. I said don’t worry about it I will handle that. She said okay.

This girl is a trip. She said so much more but I was all but a sleep when this conversation took place. I can’t remember it all. But I find it interesting for now she has went from no boyfriend to married. You can read my post A talk with Little Bitty

I told JW this morning he was like we can skip the married part but I am okay with the rest. But you’re going to need a bigger bed. But that is how he is he would do anything and everything for my kids and with them. He loves kids.



As you all know from my other post I feel this whole shut down was uncalled for. If they had not done it there would be no need for these checks. But it is only right that if the government is going to randomly shut everything down or close to everything down for no good reason they should have to do something to help the people out. And really this isn’t even a drop in the bucket compared to how much people are really losing over all this. But it is better than nothing.

But they should not tell people one thing and do something else. When they first signed everything and said it was going to happen they said that everyone would get them no matter what as long as you met the income limit. They brought up people who owed back taxes, student loans, child support and other things they normally take tax money for. They said no this was not affected by that. They were not taking them you would get them.

Because I said to J.W. that they would probably take his for back support he owes. He said no they said they said we would get it because of what is going on they are trying to make sure everyone gets what they need. He was planing on trying to get a car with it. Or at least pay and fix his license and put the rest up for a car. He was excited because it would help him get ahead some. Not have to borrow money or save forever to do it. I told him I would pay to get his license if he wanted to put it toward a car and just pay me back weekly or monthly. Because I was taking a chunk of mine putting in savings for rent. His boss will let him borrow money but she charges him all this interest on it. This way he isn’t paying that and wasting money and can get it paid off quicker. He wants to buy his cousin who pasted away last years truck from his aunt. But she won’t take payments because one of the other kids did that and never paid her for the car. I can understand that. But there is not point in having the thing if he can’t drive it and it don’t need to sit for to long either. It isn’t a lot to get his license back either. It would help him, he has helped me and others have helped me as well. I am in a spot I can help someone then I will. Just a lot more careful about it than before.

Anyway today I went over and seen him before he had to go to work. He went Easter shopping with me. We stopped at the little store to get coffee and some how checks came up because they should be coming out this week. He said that he isn’t getting one now, they have decided to take them for back support owed. He wasn’t happy I don’t blame him.

We went on finished getting our coffee and got in line and I thought of it. If they are doing that then I will get $1200 extra because Father of the Year owes almost $6000 in back support. I looked at him and said that means I will get extra. I was kind of excited about it but not that he wasn’t getting any but that father of the year is sitting there thinking he is going to get this check for doing nothing after he has everything else handed to him and now he isn’t getting it.

J.W. didn’t like that, he got a little aggravated I think. I don’t blame him I really wasn’t trying to sound excited or rub it in. It was just one of those things where you think of something and it is like oh yeah wow or duh I’m just thinking of that. He said I’m getting nothing and your getting it or getting extra. I said hey now I am not getting yours, I have nothing to do with why you are not getting yours. He said I know that isn’t what I mean. I said my situation and yours are two different things. I feel he should get his, should Father of the Year get his no.

Out of 4 cases mine and three others I know about personally who involve child support they do not handle any of it like they should. They let people like Father of the Year skate by and do nothing to him and then ones who are paying or trying to pay do right they make it harder on. You all see how they have done my case and how it has taken them 7 years to even order a dna test on RC.

Then there is J.W case who had an agreement with his ex and was paying who they stepped in and decided that wasn’t good enough or what. Changed it up he wasn’t able to make the payments they wanted him to make so now he is behind. They went to his house and picked him up on his way out the door to go to work and arrested him until someone paid to get him out. He owes no more current child support, just what he is behind and they are still taking his taxes every year and now his check like this.

Then there is my boss who is over paid in support his ex owes him and they keep taking money every pay day out of his check and sending in. They told him they won’t stop taking it out they will just hold it and send him a refund every 3 or 4 months. That is his money that is money he don’t owe and could use but they are going to take it and hold it for no good reason until they decide to give it back to him. He has been to court and everything else over it. The judge ordered it stopped. They did for like a month or two and started again. Because they didn’t like the wording the judge used. Even though they can see that he is paid ahead for x amount of time and the order says it is and that it needs to stop. He was still going around about it a few moths ago. I seen the order and things because he was using the computer at work to type a letter up and send them trying to get it stopped again.

Then there is Bff’s he pays when he wants and what he feels like paying. He is behind now and the only reason he is paying at all now is because it got to the point they were going to take his drivers license away and he would lose his CDL. He don’t want to lose that because he will lose his job. He is an over the road truck driver. So he pays just enough to keep his license and that is it. They don’t care and do nothing to him over it. Let him get away with it.

I know that Father of the Year did not file taxes in years so he will get a paper check so I don’t know how long it will take for them to send it and for me to get it. But I don’t care, it will help whenever it comes. I forgot until I talked to Bff that she owes back support as well so they aren’t going to get anything at all.

I guess it isn’t so much the checks as again the child support office who picks and chooses who to do what to and don’t go after the real deadbeats.



et cetera
%d bloggers like this: