Thinking Ahead

There are a lot of decisions to be made in the next few months. Some will not happen until 5 or 6 months down the road but need to have a good idea and grasp on things now as to what we are going to do. This way we can get things set in motion in order for it to all play out with as little interruptions as possible. Few major things to think about and plan for such as………

The truck I got screwed on. Fix it with new motor then sell? Buy brand new truck that will last me forever? Fix it and keep it? Fix it give it to my oldest?

I have no idea but have to decide and do something now or soon. Because I can’t leave it sitting much longer and need the extra seating soon now more than when I bought it.

To move away this year or stay another year? If I move when? If I stay here then I have to decide do I want to stay where I am or move somewhere different? House wise that is. I have the best set up with the kids school being right there. But the house isnt great and I am tired of dealing with the managment team. It isnt worth what I am paying rent is going to go up again. But will I find anywhere cheaper the same size in better shape? How will the school set up be?

If i move away or here where am I going to move to? Stay in the same area here or make a big change? If I move away do I go where my friend is or other family or somewhere all together different?

How is that going to effect the huge change I just made last week? How do I handle it and all that goes along with it in between all that is coming up and going on?

I have no idea what I am going to do or how to move ahead at this point. Most the time I am full force straight ahead.

I am going to really have to think about it all and figure it all out. I need to look back at my goals I set last year see what I have done and what still needs to be done. Set some new ones and fix some old ones.

Hanging Out and Catching Up

Saturday night I was out with the kids, we had went to dinner and stopped at a few stores to look around. We were in the craft store and for some reason I was looking at Facebook and seen a friend in suggested people you may know. I had not talk to them in a long time. Probably 5 years or so. Other than at the store how you doing a couple of times since then. We grew up together since were pretty little.

We use to be friends online before but I had noticed he had stop posting and not been on in a while. I am not sure we are even still friends. I sent him a friend request and he accepted almost right away and sent me a message.

We talked all evening catching up, what we had been up to, where we live now and things. Come to find out his best friend lives two houses away from me. Right outside the gate of the kids school. We can see each others houses from our front yards. He lives about a mile and half up the road from us.

He told me a few times that he was off the next day and that he was going over there and things. He asked what I was going to be doing? I told him I had to finish my Christmas shopping. I would be running around. He said something else. I asked him if he wanted to go with me? He said yes it would be nice to hang out and catch up. I told him what time I would be leaving my house and headed to his. We talked for a while still and finally stopped so we could get some sleep.

Sunday I got things I needed to do done and went over and picked him up. I headed up to one of the stores I needed to make sure I got to before they closed since they closed the earliest. Then I thought I hadn’t asked him if he had a time he needed to be home, where he needed to go since he had said he needed to do some last minute shopping as well. I asked him he laughed and said he didn’t really have a time to be back and he could get something where ever. He said he was just supposed to go to his friends house sometime that day but in no rush.

We talked and laughed all day and ran around shopping. He said he was hungry so we stopped he bought lunch. It was a nice day over all. I realized at some point it was later than I thought and asked him if he wanted me to drop him off at home or his friends house? I had a few other things I was going to go do. He said nope I’m in no hurry unless you want rid of me. I’m enjoying myself and the day, it’s been a long time since we hung out and got to catch up. He kept saying different times he was having a good time, and how nice it was hanging out.

He picked up a toy for his friends little girl why we were at one of the stores and the gift he needed for Christmas we stopped at his house for something and he took them in and dropped them off. He showed me his new place and was excited about it. He said he just got it October. He broke up with his girlfriend in September. His boss helped him find this place and get into it. It isn’t a million dollars like most things around here.

He had me drop him off at home and then went over to his friends later. He messaged me all evening and that night. I finally told him he better get off his phone and hangout with his friends. He said okay I’ll talk to you when I get home. I said okay. We have talked off and on all day since Saturday when he first messaged me. He tried to get me to go out with him and his friends Sunday night but I told him I had to do the tree with the kids and things. He said oh yeah he forgot.

Then Monday he asked me about the tree and I told him the Disaster I ended up with and that I was going shopping after work. That is when he went and done what he did.

We are going out for my birthday this evening when I get off at my night job. I am leaving at 9 tonight. He wants to go and I think Bff is going and maybe a few other friends. When I said something he was the first to respond and say he wanted to go.

Sunday night after I had dropped him off I thought of something and messaged him. I asked him if he remembered my birthday party when I was little and lived over on the other side of the neighborhood where I live now? Him and his brother spending the night and him having his skateboard. He said yes I was just learning to skateboard then. I asked if he remembered the fight we got into? He didn’t. I told him about it. I had his board in the street laying on it pushing myself around and he wanted it back and I wouldn’t give it back. He dumped me off of it in the street. Now we are in the street fighting over it. He had one set of wheels I had the other it was upside down. (I have told this on here before but can’t find it) I some how got it away from him and smacked him in the head with it pretty hard. I got my ass busted and sent to my room. He laughed and said no he didn’t remember that. I said probably because it wasn’t his party and he wasn’t the one that got his ass busted that time. Some of us was always getting our ass busted for something back then. He said sorry, I said your sorry I’m the one that smacked you in the head with a skateboard Lol.

I have enjoyed talking to him and hanging out. Like he said it was nice to catch up, vent and just have a relaxed day.

It’s nice to catch up and meet up with old friends. I had just been telling someone else a day or two before that, that I missed hanging out with old friends and not seeing them or talking to them like I use to when my older kids were little. That my kids missed growing up with their kids like they were. I just isolated us so much when everything got bad with Father of the year and after. I am going to try and put together a pot luck kind of thing at the park I think and invite everyone. Maybe try to plan something once a month or something for us all to get together or the ones that can. Maybe different places the kids can play and have fun sometimes other times just adult day or night out. get everyone back together again because a lot are saying they hardly see anyone as well or here and there or just a few. I think it will be nice.

New Driver in The House

Monday oldest called me at my night job and said she had passed the written part of her driving test to get her permit. We were going to go the next morning to get it but it said it takes 24 hours to work it’s way through the system for her to be able to go in. We decided to go yesterday and decided to stay in bed it was cool and drab out and we hadn’t gotten much sleep.

So this morning we got up and I got the kids to school and headed off to the DMV. I told her our goal was to get there and be one of the first 5 in line and hopefully not more than 10 in line ahead of us and to get there before they opened. This DMV stuff is nothing to take lightly 😆. We have waited hours. I mean like 2+ before. That is why I get there right before they open or just before closing time. You get in and out pretty fast.

We got there about 5 minutes before they opened and ended up being 11th in line I think it was. I told her now they will call every number up to us and stop for hours before they called another. But they were calling peoples numbers before they could even walk from the line to a seat to sit. We got our and sat down. She had a form to fill out about the time she got her first name on the paper they were calling us back.

They guy took all her paperwork and did her vision test and picture. Then he goes that will be $55. I said what they told us it was free. He said no just the class and test. I said they told us if you took the class through the school and passed you just came did your picture and eye test and it was free. He said nope it is $55. She had to go get my money out of the car. He said I don’t know why they tell kids that we hear it all the time. They told me that growing up forever ago. So now I am out $55 I did not have to spend. But we had everything done at that point and I didn’t want to disappoint her. I am going to have to pay it now or later so I just paid it. I will have to find it somewhere.

Now she can drive as long as she has a licensed driver 21 or over in the front seat. She can’t drive at night for the first 3 months but after that she can. That is when I want her to drive the most and that is the hardest. For me. What’s three more months. But that messes things up as well because I normally take them to learn the basics at night at a closed store at night. Heck I was just thinking I could do that after work this evening and after dinner tomorrow. Guess not now. I only have them in the parking lot an hour or so then I get them out on the streets and going. I may still take her one evening to let her get comfrable and get the basics down. We have a longish trip to make tomorrow she could have driven if she jad the basics down.

She has a wait a year from today in order to get her Dl and be able to drive on her own.

3:16 a.m.

I am laying her stretched out in my bed wrapped in my blanket. Wishing I could sleep. Thinking about my friend who is probably up growing to the hospital for her surgery about now. I am worried about her. It is going to take about 10 hours to do it. I feel like shit I was going to call her and got busy at work and it got to late. I talk to her a few nights ago. She is scared. I feel so bad for her. I so wish I could be there for her.

She wants me and the kids to come stay with her for a bit so we can move up there where they are. I just want to go see her even if just for a day. I miss her being here and hanging out.

I have other things on my mind as well and in one of those moods where I don’t really feel anything just a void or emptiness. I have been feeling lonely a lot lately. It sucks when you want to feel that closeness there isn’t anyone there.

The Really You Season 1—Game 4

Here you go Game 4 of The Really You 

 

Do you believe things happen for a reason?

Everything happens for a reason. Rather we know the reason or ever find out is a different story.

I feel that the reason a lot of things happen is because people don’t take care of things they are supposed to or need to in their lives. They ignore them and then act surprised when something happens or they end up with the outcome of not taking care of the things they were supposed to.

There are some things that we may never know why they happened or happened the way they did. But I think most things we can pin point where along the line something didn’t go as it should of and caused whatever it is that happen.

 

Have you ever been so hyper-focused on something that you have lost complete track of time?

Lots of times, mostly my school work when I was taking classes. I would sit down and write my papers or do weeks worth of work at one time. Before I knew it, it was dark out. I started in the morning or early after noon.

Now a lot of times at work I get off on one of my many “projects” I am trying to do when it is slow and no one is around and the next thing I know it is time to go home or past.

But those are the times I get the most done I am so focused I don’t notice anything going on around me and I just work.

What contributions can you make as an individual to help with being more environmental and or what have you made as contributions?

We reuse tons of things, empty jars, bags, containers just about anything you can think of. I will take old clothes that are stained or tore and cut them up and use them for rags or to clean up dirty stuff so they can just be thrown away instead of using papers towels. I like to use receiving blankets as rags to clean or shelf liners in closets or the pantry.

When I go through the house whatever it is if it is still in good shape and can be used I will give it away or donate it not just toss it in the trash.

Not Desperate, But Pissed Off

One night last week I was talking to the driver from work that talks to me now and then on my drive home from work. He still makes comments about hooking up and things all the time. I tell him he needs to go over to such and such street he can find someone who will help him. He says he isn’t looking for something like that and how gross it is or what.

Then he says so hypothetically if you were to charge for it how much would you charge. I said I’m to expensive for what your looking for. I laughed and so no really I have no idea because I have never been that desperate. I have always been able to get up get the money and make something happen. Figure out how to take care of things.

I said people who do that are people who don’t want to put in the work to make the money or just looking for quick easy money. They have no interest in trying to make something happen or figure out other ways.

At the same time I was messaging my friend about something my car had done that night when I got in to leave work.  He messaged me back and we were messaging back and forth when it hit me.

The proposition  I made my good friend, when everything happen with the new truck I bought. I haven’t been that desperate but I have been that pissed off. Over being lied to, taken advantage of and the $4000 I just gave him for the truck.

Still that isn’t something I would of said to just any o body like this guy from work or what.

 

 

 

 

The Really You–Season 1—Game 3

Time for day 3 of The Really You Game

 

What makes you laugh, as in really laugh hard?

Most the time my kids are the ones I laugh the hardest at. Other than that would be my friends.

What makes you really angry?

when people don’t take responsibility for the things they are supposed to.  Being asked the the same thing over and over again will probably make me angry the fastest.

Who knows you the best?

This is a hard one, I don’t know if anyone really knows me. As I have said on here before you could talk to people at work, school, friends and close friends and ask them about me and they all would probably tell you something different. But they would all be true. Just like I was told before, everyone seems to know a little bit about you or something of/about you. Even my kids don’t know me as much as they probably think they do. The ones who know the most about me is probably My good friend knowing the most, bff and then “my friend” and J. J probably knows a little more than “my Friend” or about the same.

 

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