Re:IEP meeting and 45 Minute Nap

I just came back from Little Guy’s IEP Meeting at the school. I was so worried about making it on time and we ended up starting 20 minutes late. My 45 Minute Nap turned into an hour and 20 minute nap. I fell a sleep hard but dreamed odd stuff the whole time. I woke up 15 minutes later than I had planed. At that point I decided to just wait until 9:50 to get up and leave. That gave me 10 minutes to walk there get in and get started. It only takes 2 minutes to walk there. I started to get up get ready and go get coffee at 9:30. But I was worried I wouldn’t get back in time. Had I known we were going to start late I would of, i probably would of went when I got up at 9:50 had I known. But if I had done it they wouldn’t have been running late and I would of. Of well such is life. It is after 12 and I still have not gotten my coffee. I will in about 30 minutes I hope.

The meeting went okay, they said he is behind and he is having a hard time staying on task and keeping up. I figured that because he is not use to all that. One area he scored low in he was tested on the computer. He dont normally use the computer for school related things so I can see why he scored low. The other things he scored low in they feel is because of his speech. The sounds and the way he says them. They are working with him on all of it so that is good. His teacher and the speech lady talked very highly of him how eger he is to learn and that he don’t get upset if he has to be corrected. They said he is very confident in himself and his answers. That he will try to figure things out on his own. His teacher said she was worried about his reading comprehension because he has a hard time with sounds and spells things wrong and reads them wrong. But she said she had him read the story and then did the comprehension questions with him anyway to have a score and see where it was.  She said I don’t know how he does it but he knew and understood the whole story and could amswer all my questions very well. She said if you read it to him he gets it just as good either way. She said most the time if they have a hard time reading amd writing like he does then they do not get the comprehension part because they don’t understand and get the just of the store and what is going on. She said he has some type of coping skill that he has figured out that really works for him.

I ask them if they felt he needed outside testing or evaluations because we have disabilities and things in the family. They said no that they think we should wait and see how their interventions help and if he improves. They think it is mostly do to speech and that he is going to improve a lot with them. Because he is so willing to do them wants to do them and eger to learn. They said if they do their interventions and we don’t see a big change then maybe think about looking into doing more.

I agreed I just told them I know it takes time and things to get the appointments and to find place to do them and things. So if they thought it was going to be something we needed to look into then i could get the ball started because it would take a few months to have it started. This way in 2 or 3 months they say well we need this then have to wait 3 or 4 months to get him in to get it. His teacher said yes that was true maybe give him another week or two before we decided. I said no if you think he is going to be okay and this is more of the issue that is fine. We will just wait and see how things go. They can do all the testing at school just if I have my own done then I can get more help for him if I need to at home. But can’t just with theirs.

IEP Meeting

Little ones have to be up for school in 2.5 hours and I am still wide awake. I have a meeting at the school for Little Guys iep to be put back in place so he can get service’s. I need a shower and to do my hair. All I am going to want to do is sleep once I drop them off. Once I get out of the meeting I am going to have to work for the night. I have an hour and 45 minutes I could sleep had I did my shower and hair before bed. I guess I will drop them go get coffee and the come shower and do my hair. They have one says bold on it, I may need to try that in the morning.

I do not know what services they are going to offer other than speech. They have to take the developmental delaied label off now because of his age. Not sure what labels they will use now. With my oldest son they told me we have to tell you we have him listed as asd. But we do not know where he falls we can’t do that and tell you we are not allowed. Telling me it is okay not to worry what asd means. Like they are waiting for me to have some horrible reaction to finding this out or something.

They said do you have anything to say? I said I sure do, I said 1. He is Aspergers on the spectrum, 2. Why are you all trying to figureout between you all what services would be best for him? 3. Where is all the paperwork I turned in at the start of the year? 4. How come you are not offering the services the person who is qualified to do all this and put it together says he needs? They all just looked shocked. They said they had no idea he had been anywhere and had an evacuation done. I said well I turned it all into you as soon as I had a copy so he could get services. All this time he not been getting them? They changed the subjected then made me mad there too and i ended the meeting moved school.

I have not had this one tested for anything yet so it should be interesting to see where they want to go from here.

The Wrong End

The dog was sick yesterday she had about three accidents in the house, just peeing but it was a lot. Looked like a river. The last time I was in there when she done it and it smelled like she had pooped everywhere. I got up and looked and it was a river, more than I have ever seen her pee in her life. Mop and bleach and old towels that could be thrown away and a cleaning we did again. Today I called and got her in at the vet to be seen because this is not like her. In 9 years she has never been sick, has been house trained since right after we got her. My Big Boy wanted to go to the vet with me so I said okay. The nurse comes in and takes her temp. Big Boy looks horrified and when she leaves says do you think she knows she took it from the WRONG END lol. I said no she didn’t that is how they do it with animals and even with humans sometimes like little babies. He looked even more horrified and said are you sure did you see where she took it? I’m telling you it was the wrong end. I assured him it was right and he looked disturbed and went back to reading his book.

I never take even my babies temps that way never felt comfortable doing it that way. I will take it under the arm and add to it when they are little. They have done it at the hospital or doctors office a few times with my little ones but he don’t go to the hospital with me when one of them goes and at the doctor he will wait in the waiting area and watch tv, so I guess he had never seen them do that before. I laughed so hard. He did not find it funny.

First Dentist Trip

Ok don’t judge the boys just went to the dentist today. They came out and ask who wanted to go first and my Little Guy jumped up and went back with them. I was kind of surprised that he didn’t care that I wasn’t going but then again I wasn’t because he is just like that. Jump all in and go explore or whatever on his own and not care if he is on his own. In a little bit they came out and got My Big Boy and he was asking before he even got across the room wasn’t I going and why I wasn’t getting up? I told him he be ok and to go and he didn’t want to. I got up and walked in the hall with the lady and told her he was autistic and that I didn’t know if he was going to do it without me going back or not. She said oh ok and told him I could come back and see where he was going to be sitting and everything. We got back there she had him get in the chair and walked around to the back of the room out of the way why he got all set up. He wasn’t sure about the chair and things. In a minute she gave me a chair and told me I could sit there where I was. She tried to do x rays first but every time she would put the thing in his mouth he would gag. She got the one for little kids and he still gagged really bad. She said wow he has a supper strong gag reaction. I told her he has sensory things so I wasn’t surprised. She gave up on trying to get x rays and started cleaning his teeth. She gave him the thing to suck the water out of  your mouth out and he didn’t like using that. He didn’t do to bad with cleaning them but they needed to be picked and scrapped, a deep clean I guess and he wasn’t able to let the dentist do that. He said it hurt to much.

They called me over about my Little Guy and they said he had quite a few cavities and that they were going to send him to a pediatric dentist so they could give him a little bit of gas to do the work. They said they thought they could do it with no problems but it was a lot of work because it was different little spots, they didn’t want to traumatize him or stress him out and make him not want to come back to the dentist anymore. He said once they do them he could come back there every 6 months for his cleanings with no problems.

After they got done with my big boy they said they were going to send him to the same place to get a little gas so they could do a deep clean and maybe some x rays on him as well. They said they didn’t think that he had any cavities just looking at them and things but if he didn’t get them cleaned good and brush better he was going to have them and his are not baby teeth they are his adult teeth.

I have to take the girls back on the 13 since they couldn’t get them all in on one day. I am going to wait and see if they need anything done at the other office and then make appointments for the other two if not. There is only one in the county and I think it is the one I have heard horrid things about so I am going to have to take them to the other county. But really it is probably just as far or farther to go to the one that is here in the county. It’s just not as bad of traffic and I know my way around here. But that is what I have GPS for.

I am wondering as I type this how much my Little Guy really needs to get filled he is 5 going to be 6 in a few months. He should start losing teeth here really soon. In the next 6 months to a year lose them all anyway. I am trying to think I don’t think he has lost any yet that is kind of odd. My Big Boy lost 4 with in two days then a few more before he ever turned 5. All of a sudden he just started losing teeth like crazy all at once. He got his early and he got 2 to 4 at a time and he lost them 2 to 4 at a time just the way they came in same ones and all.

I should have ask them about that with Little Guy but I was so shocked when they said he had them and that he had so many. When I looked in his mouth I seen one or two little spots but that was it. I don’t see bunch like they are talking about. His teeth look good over all when you look at them. If they had said my Big Boy I wouldn’t have been surprised as much because i am always getting on to him about brushing his teeth and brushing better. They told him today if he don’t do better I was going to have to do them for him. Makes me want to gag just thinking about it. I had a ton of dintale work done as a kid from early on I have just always had bad teeth and not very strong teeth and I am worried that is going to be my Little Guys problems. He has a cousin that has no enamel on his teeth and has to have some kind of treatment. Me, his mom, my dad and her mom all have problems with our teeth. It is something in the family I think. The girls even with my Little Bitty seems to be ok she brushes hers all the time and me or my oldest brush them for her one or twice a day besides what she brushes them.

Sexting Your Turtle

My 10 year old has been asking for one of them little water turtles for a couple years now. My rule is you can’t have animals in cages unless you can take care of them. To show me he is ready to be responsible for a turtle he has to show me he can keep his room clean and his chores done. Without being hounded or his room looking like three hurricanes and a train went through it before I make him clean it. I feel that if he can’t keep his environment clean he is not going to be responsible enough to keep an animals cage clean. I am not going to end up having to clean it and taking care of it. I have more than enough to take care of without added pets. They are lucky because when I was growing up the answer was just no and don’t ask again even when I was more than old enough to take care of it on my own. I don’t want to be that way with them but feel that I shouldn’t have to be the one taking care of cleaning it, feeding it and everything. I wanted kids I have to feed them, clothe them, and take care of them no one is going to do it for me. To me a pet is the same kind of thing. I am not asking them to pay for it or buy the food for it or nothing like that, just take care of it. Not just toss it some food and clean the cage when it becomes so dirty it has to be done but take care of it properly.

The other week at the pet store he found a book about taking care of your turtle and ask if he could buy it since he had money. I told him yes, I figure why he works on doing what he needs to do to be able to get one he can learn what all they need and how to take care of them. I didn’t notice until today he got one about land turtles. He was talking to me about them today and showing me his book. I said oh it is about land turtles not water ones. He said oh man now I have to decide what kind I want. He said I want a boy. I said just one, why? He said well if I get two I want two boys. Then I asked why two boys? Why not two girls? Or a boy and a girl? I figured he say so they didn’t have babies or something like that. He said because I have names picked out already.

I had no clue how to tell male from female, I just wanted to see what he would say so I asked him how do you tell a male from a female?

He said oh that’s easy my book tells you hold on. Runs to get his book comes back and starts reading to me…..

After a long courtship the female lays down on the ground and the male mounts her from behind. See so the one on top is the boy he says. told you it is easy to tell. Walks away like no big deal not a second thought about it.

Not what I was expecting at all. I am glad he walked away because I ran to the bedroom and laughed until I cried. There was so much more I wanted to ask but I wasn’t opening that can of worms right now with him.

Dear Teacher, What I Want You To Know

 

I just seen this come up on my news feed and decided to watch it. Listening to it I just sat here and cried, it sounds so much like my big boy. The let me move, let me rock, let me look where I need or want because I can still listen. He never sits still from the time he wakes up until he goes to sleep at night. He is always rocking or moving in some way or another. One of the first things that I noticed about him when he was little that wasn’t like other kids. He really isn’t trying to distract anyone or be disrespectful or not listen. 99% of the time if he can get up and move around or fitget in his chair he can tell you more of what was said or going on than someone sitting doing nothing but listening and watching what is going on. He catches things you would think for sure he wouldn’t or couldn’t have. I have to remind myself all the time when we are doing school that he is listening and doing what he is supposed to do he just needs to move or look around. It does get on my last nerve sometimes. But it isn’t his problem it is mine and I try not to say anything to him.

It’s hare because others just don’t understand and that I let him get away with things or don’t make him listen. They think he is being rude or not behaving and that he is old enough or more than old enough to understand and just stop. He looks a lot older than he his because of his size. They think he should be strong and lift this or that or not get upset about things that kids his age get upset about because they don’t stop to see how old he really is. Sometimes he may get upset about something that most kids his age wouldn’t but that is because of how he is. He isn’t like all the other kids. They don’t see it or understand. I just wish more people were a wear of things like this or more understanding. His dad says I always take up for him but I really don’t I take up for him when he needs taken up for. When adults aren’t being adults and treating him like he should be treated or others try to run him over, pick on him or make fun of him. He just don’t like it because a lot of the times I have to step in when because he isn’t treating him right. He swears he is but he can’t stand there and yell at him belittle him or call him names. Different or not that is one of my biggest pet peeves is people calling others names it don’t matter who it is, who they are talking to or why.

Nightmares & Don’t Die Here

Yesterday my big boy got up really upset and started crying when we started talking. He said he had a nightmare. He said grandpa was a ghost and he stole his van with him and his brother and sisters in it and kidnapped them. He said he took them to what looked like the library but it was dark. He let them go.

I said maybe he was just pulling a trick on mommy and trying to do something fun with you all. He said no was still really upset. I told him that ghost can’t drive cars and that grandpa would never kidnap him or the or the other kids. He said well they can if they haunt the car and take it over and what if grandpa haunted his van? I told him grandpa wasn’t going to do that and that people that love us and care about us don’t come back to haunt us when they die. He was having no part of that.

I told him that grandpa might be coming to stay with us and he said can’t we just go see him. He didn’t want him to stay with us. I asked him why he said he didn’t want him to die here. I told him it would be ok and that he wouldn’t stay here once he passed they would pick him up and do what needed to be done with him. He was talking about that what they do with you and all. I told him they take you to be barred or cremated or put in the mausoleum. He was asking what all that meant and why people wanted to do different stuff. He said he didn’t want to be melted to death so he didn’t want to be cremated. I told him he would already passed away he wouldn’t be alive if they did it but he didn’t have to do it. Then he said he didn’t want to be in the ground so he guess they could just stick him beside the wall. I told him they didn’t stick you beside the wall they put you in it. He looked so unsure then. I told him he didn’t have to worry about it right now he had a while to think about it learn more and decide.

He still says he don’t want grandpa to come here and to die here. I told him he needed to be taken care of and that he maybe coming here that it wouldn’t change anything if he was to die here. I told him even if he did he wouldn’t be a ghost his soul would go to heaven. That once you die it’s just your body there. I showed him his brothers stuffed bare and told him it was just like that just a body nothing else. He just said he knew but he still didn’t like the idea of him dying here that he would rather just go see him.

I guess that will be something we have to deal with if he ends up coming here to stay so that we can take care of him. I will just have to deal with that when it happens. I can only do so much and some things are just a part of life.

My kids have never really dealt with someone close to them dying or being sick and having to be taken care of. They have never been to a funeral or anything like that. So they have no idea what to expect. Unfortunately for them it is at such a young age. I went to my first funeral and dealt with the loss of someone close or I knew at 18. It just snowballed from there over the next 3 years. The last 12 or so have been good for family and close friends. So this is all so new and scary for them.

It’s Not Normal

Don’t know what to do with my oldest son. I feel bad for him he is my one with aspergers. He is really very smart and will talk to you about things that you wouldn’t think most 9 year old’s would know about. The things he says and talks about blows his therapist a way. He is so very sweet, loving, and caring.

But if something happens and he stubs his toe or he bleeds a little bit from something he freaks out. He thinks he is going to lose all his blood and die. Every time I tell him he isn’t and remind him that the last time he bleed a little bit he didn’t die it scabbed up and stopped bleeding and he is here and fine. He still just cries and gets upset thinking he is going to die.

When he loses a tooth I just pray it falls out before he notices it’s lose because if not and it starts to bleed he is in full panic and melt down. The best teeth so far he has lost are the ones he swallowed and never noticed lose. He is 9 he has been losing teeth since he was 4. Still it is lose something is wrong with him. It bleeds something is horrible wrong he is going to lose all his blood.

I know he can’t help it and that it is the aspergers that causes him to be that way. It’s just so frustrating because he is so worried and upset and there is nothing I can do to help him feel better or understand even though we been through it.

Tonight brought on a whole new upset melt down and scared something is wrong. He can’t go to the bathroom. I asked him the other week if he was having trouble going he said no. I figured he is just a boy and he is getting to that age. He is just going to take forever in the bathroom. Tonight he comes out all freaked out and upset he can’t go. I have some stuff here for the little kids because my little guy has some problems and my little bitty just went through a time where she wasn’t able to go. I looked up to see how much he could have and gave it to him. I told him he probably still wouldn’t go until sometime tomorrow. He has been back to the bathroom twice trying to force himself to go. I keep telling him he can’t do that he needs to just not worry about it and go.

I asked him when the last time he went was he says he don’t know. But he says that his stomach don’t hurt and that he don’t feel like he has to go. I told him not to worry about it sometimes you don’t go everyday and to just go to bed and we could get some fruit tomorrow and give him some more meds if he needed them. He is still all worried but he didn’t go, I guess he goes everyday and he is just upset and worried because he didn’t today. I finally got him to calm down for now and go lay down. I will give him a glass of hot water if he gets up again. If he still hasn’t went by Friday I will take him to the doctor so maybe she can maybe tell him something and make him feel better. I wanted to say they have these things you can get called suppositories you can get that will make you go if you really can’t but this is what you have to do with them. But I didn’t. I figured maybe it would make him decide that maybe not going for just a day was ok and what we were trying was better than that. But then I figured knowing him he would want to go get them. I am not going there tonight.

I just wish there was some way to make him see that you don’t have something horrible wrong or something horrible isn’t going to happen just because something little happens. That it is normal. He thinks it is not normal at all. If someone else bleeds or gets hurt he don’t want to hear about it or talk about it either. But he don’t get all upset about it if it isn’t him.

I thought as he got older it would get better but it hasn’t. It’s odd because they had to draw blood a while back two different times and he sat right there and let them do it. The firs time he started to get upset and things but we talked to him the tech did and he was ok. the next time he sat there chatted a way with them and never flinched. But he see’s a drop of blood at home and he freaks.

Scholarship News

As you all know my oldest son is autistic. This year because of a lot of things that have went on we decided to homeschool. I found out that there is a scholarship I could get to help buy things for school for him. We signed up at the end of September and have been waiting for them to go through all their steps and get the founding. We got our award letter pretty quickly but hadn’t heard anything else from them in a while. We are half way through the school year here. I wrote to them the other month and asked about it and they said founds would go out end of November or beginning of December. They didn’t say if that would be for everyone or just some and if some who it would be for.

I log in a few times a week to check to see if there is any changes but there haven’t been. I decided to email them tonight and ask them about it and if we could find out where we are on the list and when they think the funding would be granted for him.

I guess I should have checked my email first because when I got done I logged in and found one from a few days ago they sent. It said that they finished approving everything and that his money should be granted with in the next month. It said that they are waiting on their founding to come in so they can grant it.

Now I have to decide what curriculum to use for him for the next year and what I am going to finish our year out with this year.

It made me realise that I haven’t even thought about his scholarship and what would happen if or when we move. It is a state scholarship so I don’t know if once it is granted and we move if we can still use it or not. I guess it is something I am going to have to find out. Figure out what to do once we find out. If I we can’t still use it I guess I will order his curriculum for the next few years and other things that we want to use and put it up until we are ready. I’m just happy we got it because right now it is a huge help in getting the things he needs.

Short Changing Special Needs Kids

As you all know my son is autistic, he is considered aspergers or high functioning. I decided to homeschool him this year after having problems with his school last year and the school we are zoned for not really being that good. We have had problems at it before and pulled both kids out in the past. They have been in two different schools towns apart for the last 4 years. Between the lies at my sons school. My daughter having trouble with the new common core at her school and bring lice home once a month. I decided that it was no longer to our advantage to make a 50 mile or more round trip to take them to and from schools that were not meeting their needs. I talk to the therapist and things about other schools and what ones seem to really work with kids with special needs. And heard the same as what I had found when researching them and checking into them myself and having a friend who’s son has been going to them. Not many really offer services. They say they do to get the money and the scholarships, grants and things like that but when it comes down to them really being able to handle the kids they take on they can’t. They are getting a way with not trying to so they just push them through because of the no child left behind and all that. It don’t matter if they learn the stuff or not they just pass them on. What are they really getting out of that? If they aren’t learning it they finish not much better off than when they started.

We went in September to see what services they offer for my son since we started homeschooling and were no longer in private school. Because here it is hard to get services outside of the school board. I went to the meeting they told me his IEP was up for review. They said that they couldn’t offer any services under the iep because he was not enrolled in school. They said they couldn’t offer services under the service plan because he was no longer in private school. They went on to explain in great detail this other way we could go about getting services. But they told me over and over that he may test out of services because he didn’t have a “real teacher” to do his evaluations. Well I am his teacher and who knows their child better than their parent? I told them fine do all the reviews and things they wanted because I had no doubt that he would still show needing services on their test they done even if they didn’t think so from mine.

They went into all this detail about the program and services they were testing to see if he could get. They told me that he would more than likely come in 3 to 4 days a week for a hour to two hours a day. That would cover his ot, speech, language math and other academic tutoring he may need. Their words not mine they didn’t want to do it all in one day they didn’t want to over whelm him or put a strain on him. But they think he is fine to sit in school all day for 7 hours a day get all these services and do his school work. I said that was no problem if that was what he needed then he would be there. Then they told me that it would probably be at different times each day depending what service and teacher or what he would need that day. That we couldn’t say we want him to come every morning at x time or we only wanted to come x days. I said that is fine we are pretty much home during school hours any way we live 3 houses a way so he could walk over and walk home. They talked about they didn’t know if he got services this way if he would have to take the state test they give or if we could still just do our own test or eval and send it once a year like we have to. But they were supposed to find out and let me know at this meeting. We spent days since going back and forth and him doing all their test and me filling out their forms and doing the evals they wanted me to do.

At this time it was made very clear that we would not be enrolling back in school we just wanted to know what services we could get as homeschooling family.

Today we get to the meeting and they start off with the one lady going over the iq test and explaining his score and telling me what it all means and what she was worried about. All stuff we been looking at for years so not surprised. Then the others start telling me stuff. This first lady has to leave for something she got called a way to. She stops the meeting ask me what I plan to do with my son and all this. I told her to keep him home and school him see what services he can get here and see where we are next year and what we are going to do. Another lady stops and says well if you take the iep then we will offer all the services we are going to go over here today. But if you are not putting him back in school then we will not offer any other services. I said they told me they were testing under a different program since we are home-schooling told me all this was here for us. She said no if you want to sign the iep and put him in school it will start tomorrow but if not then we will just file it and if you decide to bring him back we will offer them. I was so mad. We went on went through all the services and what he needed in each and that was it. They typed up notes saying that we refused to put him back in school and their for they are not going to offer services. Then acted like they couldn’t wait for us to get out of there. Other people were coming in for other meetings and things.

All I could think was did I miss understand something in the last meeting. I was just so thrown off gaurde and confused when they said all this that I couldn’t think of everything. I got home and started thinking about it and what was said. If they hadn’t went into such detail about how the program worked, that it would be a few hours a day that it would be at the times they had they could get him and even tell me about what time some services would be I would say maybe I miss understood something. But I didn’t they out and out lied to me about all of it. There was no reason to go through this all again. There was no agreement to do another iep and put him back in school. We agreed to test him see what services he needed and work it out so that he could drive in and get them.

I’m so mad now I guess I have to spend tomorrow on the phone trying to figure out what happen and why they out and out lied. They get about $3000 a year between my two kids and they do nothing for them they never step a foot in the door of the school. But then they want to fight me on offering him services as simple as speech, ot and things.