Single___Parent___Life











{June 2, 2014}   He Didn’t Raise His Hand

In my last post I wrote about how the kids did their final play of the season this weekend. They did 4 shows 1 more than the other 2 groups will be doing. They did a special show Saturday afternoon for a group of special needs kids. A Autism special sensory showing.

A Representative from the group came in to talk to them during tech week.  They wanted to think them for doing the show and explain to them what to expect from the kids. So they understood and knew they weren’t just being rude.

My oldest said they asked the them if they knew anyone with Autism and the kids raised their hands who did. She said to me mommy I raised my hand but brother didn’t. I asked right a way what she said when he didn’t and if they asked who they knew that had it and what she said. She said she didn’t say anything and that they asked some of the kids but not her.

I wasn’t surprised that he didn’t raise his hand at all. He don’t know his diagnoses. He was young and didn’t really know what was going on when they tested him. Even now he knows we go to meetings at the school and things but he isn’t there and don’t know that it is any different than any other did in school. For him it isn’t because all the kids in his school’s parents have meetings at the school.

I haven’t hidden it from him I talk pretty openly in front of him about it he just don’t ask or listen to what is going on most the time. He is to busy playing and doing his own thing. I treat him like all the rest of the kids and push him to do all the same things I expect from the other kids. I know he won’t do them all just right or may not be able to do some and that is fine. I just want him to try. I don’t want him to think that he is different and can’t or shouldn’t and I don’t want him to try and use his Autism as a excuse for not doing things or trying things because he don’t want to or because he thinks it might make it a little harder for him.

I don’t want him to feel that there is something wrong with him, less or different than the other kids either. Like now when he goes out and tries to play with the kids around our house and they leave him out or aren’t nice to him. He don’t see it as them doing it because he is a little different or because there is something wrong with him. He see’s it as they have a problem and there is something wrong with them for being mean and treating people the way they are. If he seen it the other way around it might keep him from being as social and friendly as he is and from trying to make friends and things.

The way I look at it there is something wrong with them more than there is him. He isn’t doing nothing but asking to be their friend and to play ball with them. He knows he don’t know how to play but ask them to show him and tell him what he needs to do. Nothing any other child who don’t know how to play something would do. They are the ones who want to exclude him because he don’t talk as plane as they do and don’t know how to do the things they know how to do. I have raised my kids that as long as they are being good to you and are nice and not being mean or nasty and treating you bad you be nice to them and include them if they want to play. That’s how it should be. When we are with friends and their kids they don’t know anything really about him and the Autism but they all play and get along.

So no it didn’t surprise me that he didn’t raise his hand when asked. It don’t bother me that he didn’t and thinks that if people don’t want to have something to do with you when your trying to be nice and friendly. There is something wrong with them not you.

Others may disagree with me on letting him think there is something wrong with the other person for not wanting to have something to do with you. Because I know sometimes people don’t want to have anything to do with you if you have done something you shouldn’t or have been nasty or mean. Lack of better words but we are talking about kids so fits. But my son also knows when or if he dose somethings it makes people not want to be around you and that when you have done something you shouldn’t and they don’t it is him in the wrong and not them. Because he will tell me so and so did this or that and it isn’t nice or it was gross and I didn’t play with them today. Or that he did something and someone got upset with him and didn’t talk to him or play with him. He knows that you need to say your sorry and try to work things out and fix them.

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{June 2, 2014}   The End Has Come

To the Stars Of Tomorrow program the kids have been in at our locale playhouse. They did 4 shows this weekend og the Jungle Book. I went to opening night it was great. The baby sat still and watched it with no problems at all. For a 14 month old to sit still for and hour and a half with out fussing or running around. She clap a squiel watching it. My baby boy he just loved it. He begged to go back to see the other 3 shows.

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ways I’m glad it’s over but in otheres I’m not. I won’t miss the 4 hours every night during tech week or the rushing to get there in time for each show. And back and forth in between.

But I will miss the kids excitment about getting ready for the play. And waiting for us to come and see it. I will miss getting that evening out with friends each week. But we have already made some summer plans so it will still be fun.

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They aren’t sure if they want to do it again this year or not. If they do I will have one still in this group and one in the next group up. Twice the running and two tech weeks. I told them they are going to have to pick one or two things and thats it. They can’t interfear with each other. They both missed a game and practice this week. But they had to honor their cometment to the one they started first. They can’t just drop one to do the othe.

And one last bow one last goodbye and one last circle up. 

Mine are the second one in from left and the rock in the middle between the two trees.

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{February 4, 2014}   My Disappointed Rock

The older two kids have been in the Stars program at our local playhouse since November. They learned about the program the be gaining of last year couldn’t try out until the end of October. My second oldest my son with Autism is the one who really wanted to try out because they told him they were doing Jungle Book this summer. He told the lady right a way he wanted to be a monkey. When he tried out and got in all he has talked about is wanting to be a monkey. The last 4 weeks they have been waiting and waiting to get their part. Tonight was the big night they finally got them. He came out pretty upset and unhappy along with my friends daughter and they both said they got the part of a rock. My oldest she got the part of a  Vulture. He wanted to go back in and talk to them he wanted to trade parts and everything else. The girls said he had a melt down as soon as they told him and they sent him out to talk to someone. That didn’t matter he just don’t care. I know he can’t just get the part he wants and I understand that they give them to the kids that deserve to have that part and that is all fair. I just wish there was a way to make him understand that it isn’t they don’t like him or they want to be mean or they don’t think he can do it so they gave it to someone else. I want him to understand that this is just how it is and that maybe next time and that if he has these melt downs it is going to make it harder to get parts because they are going to think he can’t handle them. He just don’t get that. He really can do a lot and handle a lot it’s just that he don’t understand that you aren’t just doing stuff to be mean or just because you don’t want to give it to him. Sad to say I am afraid this is something he is going to deal with all his life. I think that even if he wants to or dose understand he can’t help but feel that way. I know he knows he is different and his sister and dad and other family haven’t helped to make him not feel that way the way they do treat him. Leaving him out picking on him calling him names and controlling him don’t help when it comes to dealing with things like this. He thinks it is just them treating him like he gets treated everywhere else and he just wants to be treated like everyone else.

I do think that a rock wasn’t a good pick for him. He has a hard time sitting/standing still for even short amounts of time much less to have to stay on stage for all of the play. I am afraid he is going to be moving and wiggling around in the background why they are doing the play. I just hope that if there is any problem they see it and change things around before the show. Even if they give him some other part or something. Its cute because they are going to do a special showing for kids with disabilities when they start their shows over the summer. So if he moves around to much then the kids will just feel he fits in with them 🙂



et cetera
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