Single___Parent___Life











when I headed to work on Wednesday my truck seem to run a little sluggish. I thought things just needed to even out maybe get air pushed out or what. Then I went to get on 95 it seem to run better. Thursday I had a few issues and chalked it up to a coil pack. But something just didn’t seem right.

Friday rolls around I jump in fire it up start to put my seatbelt on and it spits and dies. I start it and it just sputtered. I backed out it just didn’t want to go. I get going it seem to do a little better. I stop at the light and when it was time to go it did me like it did Monday night. It wouldn’t go. I started to get over all of a sudden it just took off and went.

I got to JW’s house 3 minutes away it sat in the yard ran great. I messaged the one guy and told him something was really wrong this wasn’t right. He called me right away and we talked about it. He said let him call his brother talk to him they come to me figure it out. I told him I thought I could get it to him since it would be easier. He said he would call me back in a few.

He called me and said if I could get it to them that would be great they would meet me there and take care of it. They thought it was the fuel filter. They could get it taken care of pretty fast. Great no problem. I ask JW if he wanted to ride with me it wouldn’t take long. I didn’t want to be alone if I broke down and may need to get it out of the road or something. He said yes of course.

My thought was get it to 95 get it on there and once I got up to speed it would run halfway decent. Then I would have to baby it through town and hopefully get it there. Because it seemed once I got up to 40+ it wasn’t bad like I said.

Boy was my thinking wrong. Very very wrong. I got out there and it just didn’t want to go. Few times it got up to a decent speed and then it would just drop. I ended up pulling over I don’t know how many times. Was driving down the side of the road way to far. But I had to get it there and off 95 before it just wouldn’t go at all like Monday.

I finally get there they get there and they pull the fuel filter out and it was nasty. So me and the one ran up and got a new one. Go back put it in and start it. It still didn’t sound 100% but pretty normal. I figured because one of the coil packs or all need replaced.

They said take it out run it see how it done. The one went up to let us out of the gate. I turned out to go up the street and nothing hardly move sounded horrible. I turned around pulled right back in. The one who let us out was in disbelief. We took it back into the shop. The younger one that has the same truck kept saying he thought the pump was bad. The older one was saying it needed bled some more there was still air in the line. That is what I couldn’t decide was if it just wasn’t getting fuel or if it was sucking air. The younger one said he could hear it all the way back in the shop when I tried to test drive it and it was the pump.

I asked where this one dinner was compared to where we were. If it was close enough to walk to? The older one said he was going to his dad’s to get a tester he would drop us off. So he did he said as soon as we were done call him he would come pick us up.

I had not had a drink yet and hadn’t had my coffee. JW hadn’t either. I was going to pick him up then we go get our coffee. Until the trucked started messing up. I told him we would stop on the way to the shop but when it was so bad I wasn’t stopping no where. As long as it was rolling and going I wasn’t stopping. I was going to get something when we went to get the filter and there cooler was broke. He was getting hungry not feeling good. I was so thirsty and just wanted to sit down for a bit. I felt like I was pushing them to hurry up and figure it out and I wasn’t. I figured give them some time to check it over.

We got lunch and talked for a bit. We left JW wanted to go to the little store. I thought there was one on the corner across from us but it was something else now. I said there is one back the way we came not to far I think. We started walking. It was a lot further than I thought. But I was going to walk back to the shop and we had to pass it to get there. We were about to the store when the older one called.

He said it was the fuel pump they sold us a bad one. He ask if I had the paperwork from where we bought it. I told him where it should be and reminded him we bought it on his dad’s shop account so they should have a record of it. We talked he said everyone was giving him a hard time about taking it back and no one had it in stock. It isn’t something most places have in stock so that was another issue. I couldn’t go to another store because the first one would only trade not refund because of the type of part. He said he found one but it was about 15\20 miles away and the women wasn’t giving him a hard time she was going to just trade it. So they were leaving to get it. Later the younger one said they ask if the gas gage was working and it wasn’t. He told them no it didn’t once they put new one in. They said by that they knew it was a bad pump.

When we were talking he said we needed to find a ride home or somewhere to go because it was going to take them awhile to go get it and get it in and everything done. He said he would bring it to me when they got it done. I had no idea how we were going to get home. He called the guy he works with ask him if I gave him gas money if he could pick us up. Surprisingly he was down where we were at families house. He said he would call us when they were done and pick us up. We were not near any stores of any kind and had past the turn off for the shop so we just kept walking. We could not get in at the shop because the guys were not there it is a gated area. It would be a while before they got back. So we just walked. I kept telling JW at intersections we needed to go east or west to get back to an area where there would be stores and maybe a fast food place or somewhere to get a drink sit and wait. He say we may as well keep going the way we are. It didn’t matter to me much, but I was a little tired of just seeing woods and houses. We finally came up on this one area I said I think the big park is up here. By then he needed to use the bathroom and we still were just around houses. I mapped it in my phone it said it was a mile to the west. He wasn’t sure. I said if we keep going a mile the direction we are or we go a mile this way we are still going the same distance if he don’t call and pick us up first. If we get there you can use the bathroom and we can just sit in one spot and wait. Because at this point we didn’t know if we were walking toward the ones picking us up or away. I just felt we needed to just sit and wait. He said yeah true so we headed to the park.

We finally got there I went to the pavilion and sat down he went to the bathroom. He came out we were talking. And his friend called him said he was on his way asked where we were. He told him he said meet him out front. So we did it is a huge park a bunch of pavilions, camp site’s, rv sites and other stuff. But we were by the front so we walked up to the road. He was there in just a few minutes.

We had walked 3 miles by the time we got to the park. It had only taken us an hour with the stop at the store. We could of gotten further but JW is a extremely slow walker. I would be walking along and relies he was way back behind me. I stop and wait on him to catch up. But in a bit he would be behind again. I try to slow down not leave him. I wasn’t like in a hurry walking fast. I just naturally walk fast. I would wait for him to catch up then hold his hand for a bit to so I didn’t leave him everything else.

They dropped us off at his house. I hung out with him it was about 5 something I think when we got dropped off. I they should be there in an hour or two. I couldn’t find a ride now it is 7 or after. JW said he would give me money for a cab to go home they could bring my truck to my house. I said as soon as I get a ride or call a cab they will call. They should of been done. Something was wrong.

I finally called a cab to go home because it was 7 something. And then he calls and said it was ready his brother (younger) one was bringing it if I could give him a ride home. I told him yes. I was talking to him asked JW to cancel the cab. But he pulled up about that time. I ran out told him so sorry my truck was done I was just calling to cancel. He was nice about it didn’t get mad. I gave him $5 for coming. The ride its self would of probably only been about $8 if that most likely less. Then he would of only got a small amount of that so I thought $5 was fair for him coming out there. No one knew he got it he got to keep it all.

In a little bit he called about my truck again. He said you been through so much with this truck I am just going to follow him to you and take him home. We talked about pay and things. He said $150 should cover what he had into parts and time.

They got there he said everything is brand new. Everything to do with the fuel system should last you as long as you have the truck and then some. You shouldn’t have to ever replace anything to do with it. They replaced lines, clamps, anything you can think of. I gave them another $200 they spent their whole day taking care of it getting it going for me. If it had been a shop they probably wouldn’t of even been open til Monday and then who knows when they would of gotten to it. Days later. They would of charged labor again and they would not of replaced anything. If I had them to it would of been more labor and more for parts. They wanted $600 4 years ago and $200 was the part. I am sure price has went up for labor. They put a mark up on the parts as well. These guess gave them to me for their discounted price they get through their dads shop and charged me very little for doing the job over and the extra work replacing everything else. So for just about $300 maybe a little more they did the first job twice and replaced everything else. That saved me so much money even giving them the extra $50 last night.

They said they would let me know as soon as they can replace the motor mounts to look for them and get them. They are going to try and do it on a Saturday while I work. I may just rent a car for that so they don’t have to rush. My motor is sitting on my oil pan and cracked it.

Sleeping Beauty is going to try to find decent ones at the junk yard. They are dealer parts and $500. I don’t have that and labor to pay right now and it needs done asap.

I could not believe they sold me a bad pump. The younger one told me same happen to him he had to do his twice too. We went to two different stores and it has been awhile since he did his. But a few people with shops have told me they are getting a lot of bad parts lately. I wonder if it is because of covid and so many places closing having less employees or maybe even employees out sick over this. They get bad stuff but not like they did this last year.

I am just so glad they got it done and thankful they did what they did.



So Monday I worked my 8 hours and decided to go home. Since I still had about an hour and half until JW was off I decided to take the long way home. There are like 3 different ways I take home depending on my mood and how much time I have. Most nights I go straight up 95 because I leave about 30 minutes before he gets off. It only takes me like 20 minutes or so to get to his job.

Monday night I leave and decide to go the long way around just to waste time. It takes 45 minutes to an hour. I get a few miles from work stop at the light. It turns I go through the intersection. My truck has no power won’t change gear and is hardly rolling. I turned my flashers on and coasted until I could pull off the road. I was in the left lane couldn’t get over. I didn’t even know if I was going to get out of the road. I finally got over in the grass. My passenger side wheels were right on the yellow line. Everytime a car went by my truck would rock. I was scared they were going to hit me.

My truck was still running but sounded horrible and wouldn’t move. Then it shut off. I tried to start it all it would do was turn over. I got out checked the water, oil and transmission fluid. They were fine and I had half tank of gas. But it seemed as if it wasn’t getting gas to the motor. I killed the battery trying to get it started. I called my friend who said to check and see if the shut off for the fuel pump got tripped some how.

I hung up and tried to do that but it is behind the kick panel on the drivers side. I had to open the door on that side and then get tools and take it off. Had I done that my door would of been in the road and I would have as well. I talk to him again and decided it wasn’t that. Because I hadn’t had anyone in there since that morning to of hit it and I had not hit any bumps or anything hard enough to trip it I didn’t feel.

I was talking back and forth with JW and trying to find someone to come help me get it out of the road and check it more see if we could figure it out. I could not get a hold of anyone. So I call AAA and they say they will pick my truck up but not me. I am 25 miles away from home. I can’t get anyone to come help me who is going to come get me. I am in the street there are houses on one side and a pound on the other. It is blocks up a main road then across it and another main road. I hung up and called JW he said they would come get me but they wouldn’t be off for an hour. I figured it would take that long or longer for the tow truck. I hung up called and told them to send the truck.

I was in the truck it was dark the lights were off. I had the hood up and been there an hour. I was looking down talking on the phone and someone starts knocking on my window. I look down this guy is standing there. He started asking what was wrong and stuff. I was talking to the lady he got under the hood started looking. I tried to turn it over show him it was dead. He said is that a tow truck? Hang up cancel it I can fix it get you going. The guy with him told him hush let me finish.

I hung up he said I have the same truck same motor everything for 10 years. I have done all the work rebuilt it everything. Whatever it is I can fix it. He said your ground wire was really lose I could pull it off with my hand. I turned it over tightened it up. We will jump it you will be on your way. I was telling him no I killed it after I got stopped it wasn’t getting fuel. He was saying if it is not grounded it isn’t being charged nothing is going to work right. I said I know but you aren’t understanding. I said jump it we can’t tell anything if you can’t hear what it is doing. So they did. It turns over but don’t start. I said see it isn’t getting fuel and I have half a tank. He climbed up under the hood and started messing with something. He told me get in turn key on and off. He said your right there isn’t any pressure from the fuel pump. He said he couldn’t fix it there on the road like that. He said it is your pump and I can do it in 45 minutes for $200 and you get the part. I checked about getting the pump done in my other truck and they waned $700. He said he could do it the next day after work.

They other guy said if you want to tow it around the corner leave it in my yard you can. He said lock it up and bring the key back when we get home tomorrow. It will save you a bunch on your tow bill. We will fix it as soon as we get off.

I said look I have to go home and see if I can borrow the money because I do not have it. But I have to get it going so I don’t miss work. He said okay we will come to you. Get a hold of us tomorrow let us know.

They were still in front of my truck with cables hooked up when the tow truck got there. They moved and went to leave. I thought about being stuck once they took my truck. I ran over and stop them. I ask if they would take me up the street to the restaurant. I was going to get a drink and wait for JW to get there. It was dark and cool out and I would be off the road. They ask why. I told them because I had to wait for my ride. They said I could go with my truck.

I told him no they said because of covid they were not taking passenger. He said yeah I went over to get my things and wait for the guy to get the truck picked up.

I thought I am going to go get in this van with these two guys I just met. Sure we are only going to the end of the street a few blocks but what if they decide to go somewhere else or do something? I thought of my knife in the door of my truck. I got it and stuck it in my back pocket and covered it with my shirt and jacket. They were in a big work van with the cage and closed up no windows. I thought if I get separated from my purse it is going to do me no good or if I can’t get into it. This way I could just pull it out. Let me just say I did not really think I had anything at all to worry about or I would of never asked or thought about getting in the van with them. But you never know what may happen. I got out of the truck he came over said hunny he will take you with your truck. I said what? He said I talked to him he said they aren’t supposed to but he will. I said okay thank you. He said call him and let him know and made sure i had his number. I put my knife in my purse when no one was around. I figured in the tow truck there is more space between me and him and there was only one of him not two and he was driving too. I could get to it if I needed to. Before I figured if I road to the corner with them or 25 miles with him I didn’t know any of them so not any different really.

The one guy said I would of never stopped but I seen it was an excursion I told him stop turn around we have to go back. He was saying no, no,no. I said go back we have to stop. So he finally turned around. He said I love these trucks. I said me too it is my 2nd one. He said he got his 10 years ago for $10k and it only had 30 some thousand miles on it he is 2nd owner I think he said. 10 years ago with no more miles than that on it they gave him that truck. Just gave it away. He said if it was anything else I would of never stopped. They left and I walked back over to the tow truck. They guy was taking forever. Then he went to pull it up there and i called JW to tell him I was going to ride home with the truck. So he didn’t have to worry about coming all the way down there to pick me up.

I walk back to the front of the truck my truck is still not loaded. The guy has been here while now. He finally says he broke the wench on his truck he has to send another truck. He picks his stuff up and leaves. I am sitting back in the truck waiting and called the part store to see if they had the part and how much it was. They guy ask how my night was?

I said I am sitting on the side of the road because my fuel pump went out. I been here over an hour. The tow truck just left because he broke the truck trying to load mine. He was like damn not a good night.

All of a sudden I see red and blue lights behind me. They looked further away. Then I thought they were right behind me. Before I thought I said oh no it’s the cop’s. He said where? I said right behind me. He said you’re legal right it’s fine.

I said my birthday was Saturday and I forgot to get my tag. I gave him the info he needed got off the phone and out of the truck. The cop was walking up. I told him I was stuck I called AAA what happened when they got there that he just pulled away was sending someone else. Showed him on my phone text AAA sent me. He said call them back ask if I was okay and left. I called them back and sat on hold for what seemed like forever. The other truck came up before they ever came back to the phone. He hooked it up set it all up and we were on our way in no time. I figured out later the other guy tried to pull it up there with out putting it in gear so the wheels would roll. That is why his wench broke. I told you I can’t make this shit up. Who has luck like that?

I ask this guy if he would give me a ride and told him the other driver said he was going to tell him to. That he was going to. He said yes he would. He wasn’t supposed to but he wasn’t going to leave me stuck there on the side of the road. I had him take me to JW house. I stayed there that night. I was going to rent a car and they had none where I normally go. I checked the other place they wanted almost $90. I wouldn’t of even made 90 for the few hours I would of been at work. I had to leave early to get the truck fixed. I ended up calling in. The guys came about 5 the one took me to get the part why the other started on the truck. It took him about 2.5 hours but he got it done. He also replace the battery terminal for me too. I told him I had an oil leak asked if he seen it why he was under there? He said no got under it and looked. In just a second got up and said my motor mounts are wore out it is sitting on the oil pan. He said it is cracked. He said it would take most the day to do it. You have to lift the motor fix the pan replace the mounts put it back together. They said I would need to bring it to their dads shop so they could put it on the lift and could do it easier. I told him that was fine I had no problem doing that. He said let him know when I was ready. We would set something up.

JW said when I broke down his friend had a guy that would fix it. Said he done the breaks and something else for him. Small stuff and that he worked at one of the tow companies before. I said I don’t know about that. I don’t like just anyone messing with my truck. He may be able to do breaks but fuel pump is a lot more involved and can be dangerous if he does something wrong.

He said you are going to let this guy you don’t know do it? I said I know but talking to him watching him messing with it on the side of the road. He knows what he is talking about. What he is doing. He has the same truck done this stuff already to his. He knows what to expect what he needs and all that. I just felt it was ok and there was a reason he came by and stopped when he seen me.

I am waiting for the new year to start so I am not getting short checks. And I can get overtime. I am going to have do the mounts, and a few other things to it for me.



{August 22, 2020}   Not Dealing With Shit Tonight

As you know I am staying with JW for my covid cation as I am now calling it. Anyways no one lives in the house across the street they use it for meetings or parties. It is a biker clubhouse. They ask JW if they could park in the yard before and he said yes. Well they know I come over here and need room to park and almost never leave me room. To me it is just rude. Someone is letting you use their parking and you do not leave them room for even one car. They see me come up trying to park and know where I am going not one offers to move.

So today I come home and see people gathering over there and a car already parked in the lot of the empty place next to us. We are in a duplex. I pulled up across our yard kind of half an X. And just off the road into our parking/yard area. I have a much larger vehicle than before and they are not going to not leave me room to park or block me in so I can’t back out. I am sure they are pissed, I seen them looking when I parked and got out. I don’t care. I hope they say something I am going to tell them had you not been so rude every not for a week or more last time I wouldn’t care. But since you were I’m making sure i can park and get out. They will have the street and yards so full all the way down you can hardly drive down without rubbing another car. They want to start I will have them towed or their pow wow broke up. I don’t care if they are bikers respect is respect you get what you give. He say’s it’s the bikers I told them they could. But to me like I said before they know someone lives there even if they don’t have a car they may have company leave a space don’t be an ass. Then night after night they see me come over there don’t offer to move or take my space as soon as I leave. Not knowing if I am going to the end of the street to the store and back or what. Or not moving when i get back. Nope rude and I am not playing their game.

They want to talk about the bad image they have but all they do for the community. Then be that way. Seems the image they hold is for a reason and they are just putting on a show for the community. I got news for them they are nothing more than people and I’m not scared of them.



{April 12, 2020}   Blew Up My Car

On the 5th of March on my way to my night job I blew up my car. I was able to get off the off ramp of the interstate and it died on me. I was blocking traffic and everyone was having a fit and honking. It was 5 something in the evening time everyone was getting off work. Do you know how many so called “guys” honked and yelled at me and never offered to help? Mostly the ones who were was guys. One lady in scrubs pulled over and helped me push it out of the road. Good thing it was my little car. I was mad and done at that point. I couldn’t find anyone to help me. I called bff she was working no to far away so she came and picked me up. But my car was still stuck there.

I had been talking back and fourth to J.W and he called his best friend to see if he could come get me and it off the side of the road. He was all worried about the transmission and messing it up. He said your not supposed to tow cars like that with a rope. I told him I was not worried about that it was probably shot any way and I just needed it off the side of the road. I told him to tell him I didn’t care if it messed it up and would not hold him responsiable or want him to fix it. I just wanted him to get it off the side of the road. He said he would do it but he was out on the boat fishing he wasn’t sure when he would be back. I figured he was saying it because he still didn’t want to do it but didn’t want to tell J.W no. I called my Good Friend and asked him about it and why we shouldn’t tow it like that. He said really you shouldn’t tow any car like that it has always been said not to. But that if you weren’t flying and took it easy it should be fine. I said oh well hell I have towed so many cars like that it isn’t even funny. I even towed my one truck that way it was 4 wheel drive. That I found out later you are not supposed to tow like that at all. I didn’t know that at the time.

I called Mr. Responsible I wanted to see if his friend with the truck would come tow it for me. His old roommate. He couldn’t because he was already having transmission problems and couldn’t even work because he couldn’t tow his trailer with it.

J.W called and messaged around and was trying to find someone else but couldn’t find anyone either. I went with Bff and headed back toward home with her. By the time we were getting close to my area J.W called and asked where I was at and said he found someone to come get it for me. I told him I was almost back home. I asked him if I should get dropped off at his job or his house then? He said go ahead to his house the guy was on his way to his job to get him they would stop and pick me up. That is what we did.

We got there he hooked it up with a chain and we got turned around and back on the road. I thought we were going to go down the other road or other main road that would not have much traffic. We got back out on 95. Well he had me chained really close to him. I felt like I was against the tailgate of his truck and then he had his flashers on and they were reflecting off my car and his tailgate blinding me. Something else was wrong. I started to tell J.W to call him and tell him to stop I couldn’t do this we needed to fix somethings. Oh the fact he used a chain not a strap or rope was really bothering me as well. I don’t like to use chains to tow things and as close as I was to the back of the truck being on a chain bothered me. And the fact that I was chained so close behind him I could not see around him to see what was going on or what was coming up. It was a huge mess.

J.W did not have his phone number and couldn’t call him to get him to stop, turn his flashers off or anything else. We were coming off the on ramp as he is telling me this and I have semi trucks and everything else flying around me and by me. I started to go into full blown panic attack. I could’t help it everything was so wrong and I couldn’t get him to stop. It was like being on a fair ride that you couldn’t get them to stop and let you off of. But you were responsible for stopping both of you but only when the time came and they were ready. But you can’t see what is going on to know when you need to start stopping everything.

Poor J.W, was trying to help and calm me down and telling me this and that. I yelled at him, I can’t, you don’t understand. He tried to say something else and I yelled at him to just stop and not say or do anything. He just looked at me like he didn’t know what to do or say and started to say sorry. I just said I can’t you have to stop. He just sat there. All this is happening with in seconds or minutes as I am being drug down the on ramp and snatched out onto the road.

Once we got out there everything was past us, I was able to calm myself down and come to terms with it all and figure out how to work with what was happening. I am shocked I was able to calm myself down enough so fast to be able to do what I needed to do. I was able then to talk to J.W the rest of the way and he helped me some once I figured out what I needed. My friend was at work I couldn’t take it to his shop. I didn’t want it at my house because I didn’t know what I was going to do with it or who was going to work on it or what. I didn’t want it done here. I have enough issues with the people complaining and starting about whatever they can around here. We took it to JW’s house and I got a ride home from there.

I dropped the kids at school and started walking over to his house to get some things and to either walk to work or go catch the bus and get to work. My Good Friend messaged asked where I was at. I told him walking and where. He said he would be there in a bit he was on his way to the car to look at it. A few minutes or less later JW’s friend pulls up and picked me up. I guess he was on his way to go somewhere before work and seen me. He took me over and dropped me off and my friend met me there. He said he was pretty sure it was to far gone to make it worth fixing. But they would come get it take it to the shop and figure it out from there. I told him just leave it there i didn’t know what I was going to do I wasn’t fixing it if it was that big of a problem. JW’s friend picked him up for work. He dropped us of there and went to do some other things and then came and took me to work. I think I called in to my night job that night.

I called around to scrap yard and junkyards and found a place that said they would come pick it up and give me $300 for it. That was twice what anywhere around me wanted to give me. Good Friends said his brother would maybe buy it from me but he only wanted to give me scrap price and said that he called the junk yard and they said $125 to $150. I told him I found the place for $300 he said if I could get that to jump on it and take it because that was really good right now and twice what others wanted to give. I told him I knew I had been calling and that they were supposed to come get it the next day at 12.

I don’t know if I got a ride or walked to J.W’s house but I got over there and they came and gave me the money and took it. I cleaned it all out before they got there so it was ready to go. My friend drove me to Melbourne to look at one Mr. Responsible friend had but then the friend wasn’t there when we got there. It was getting late I just went home. I got up the next day and rented a truck for the week so that I could get to and from work and not lose a job or hours. Then Saturday I took it and went to find something Saturday. I came home with one too. I got a good deal and a really nice truck.

It is the same as my other just different motor and it isn’t 4 wheel drive. But the guy who bought it new was Ford mechanic and the guy I bought it from had money to keep it up and make sure it had no problems. New tires less than 10,000 miles on them, new a/c newer front end a year or two old and other things. Anything known to be a problem or go out has been fixed. The heat even works on in it. I haven’t had heat in a car in 10 years probably. I am so much happier with it than my little car. I really need the extra room. The kids are so much happier too.

I can’t right now but I want to have it painted. I am thinking about this color green……

I want to fix it up nice. It is in great shape, no rust two tiny dents thats it really. Few little things inside i want changed thats it really. I want to fix it because it is in such good shape. I don’t want it to be something that in a few years from now is a mess because the little things were let go not taken care of. I want to finally take one and do it just how I want it done. Paint seats everything. My project. Do little things when i have extra to spend on me. It has rims the grill guard. I want to paint it, get my seat covers for it. Maybe a few other things here and there as i go.

All J.W friends are like oh wow, we knew she wanted an suv. We thought she was getting a little Mountaineer or something small like that. Not something big and tuff badass like that. He just laughs says no she wanted something big with room. She had one before her car wanted another one. They can not believe what I paid for it. They blown away I gave so little for it.

J.W teases me all time about wanting a big truck. Me and big trucks. Then I told him I found something and pulled up in it. He just laughed was talking about how nice it was and then looked worried. He said how much did you pay for it? I told him he was like what? Really? That’s all or a down payment? You’re not making payments are you? I said yes that is all no payments. The title is right there. Not that it really mattered if I was making payments. But he knows it would be a stretch for me and not give me any wiggle room with hours. And i would be stressed out until it was paid off. That if i had to make payments i would end up way over paying for it.

We did some repo’s i parked them at his house to make it easier for them to be picked up. I needed my truck moved so i could park the repo. I gave him the key asked him to move it. He backed up and turned pulled around the yard and parked. I parked the repo got out to go inside he got out. He said wow I really like driving that. I want a big truck now. I busted out laughing. He said what? I said you drove it a few feet through the yard and listen to you. Your hooked already. He just smiled said what i like it.

I told him he can take it in his trip at Christmas tine if he wants to. He wants to state hope and pick up his kids. All go see his mom. He laughs. I mean it. I had already told him before he could.

Okay for now that is one of the big changes since this stay home lockdown, might be locked down mess started. Stay turned more big adventurers to come soon.



{October 14, 2019}   Picking up My Truck

I guess I have to bite the bullet and go pick up my truck in the morning. I haven’t heard from the guy in almost a month. I have been trying to get someone to go with me but of course no one can or will. I have avoided it for far to long. One of the owners is going to be in at my day job doing some work I told him today I am going to be late that I had to go pick it up and see what to do from there. I am in one of those weird moods where I don’t not care but that I just don’t want to deal with it and I’m okay with not dealing with it and it just hanging out there. Even though I know it is most likely just getting worse. I care but not enough to do anything about it. Even though I told them I am going to be late tomorrow I am going to have to force myself to go over there.

You know some things you can do without or pay to get done. But there are somethings you can’t just pay someone to do. I know that I know you can’t but I don’t know I thought I could figure out some way to take care of this but I can’t.

Sitting here writing this and thinking about it I don’t know if it is the situation that I am in that bothers me more or the fact that here I sit again alone to handle it all on top of everything else I already take care of alone.



{September 10, 2019}   Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Everyday I get into my car since running around with the kids over the weekend all I can think is, this is why we can’t have nice things.

There is tea spilled in my floor and lemon aid in my passenger seat. It smells like sour tea and my jacket needs washed. It isn’t as simple of cleaning the floor and the seat because the seat has a ton of things in it. Well I maybe exaggerating a little, but it seems like it. Seeing as my box of change is dumped in the floor from where something was spilled in it before. The best I could tell it was a bottle of water that was left in there and the lid came off. The bottom of the box got wet and the bottom fell out of it so it is now everywhere. On top of all the other things that they have left down there.

Don’t get me wrong they are great kids they really are, they could be doing so much worse at their ages. None of it was done on purpose. We went to the burger place to eat and they gave everyone to go cups. Mine was sat in the cup holder that had something in it so it didn’t sit like it should of. I thought the cut was one of the kids and they had picked it up when we got back in the car. I guess they didn’t and when we got where we were going I asked for my drink and figured out it was mine that they stuck there and it was now in the floor spilled everywhere.

Then we went inside and since we don’t have that many cup holders Mr. 13 sat his cup in the seat when he got out. Once we came back his seat was soaked. This I found he had split the bottom of his cup some how and it had leaked why we were in the two stores all over the seat. Since the car is so small there was no where else for him to ride, he needed something to sit on. You guessed it that is where my jacket came into play. He folded it up and sat on it. I forgot to  get it inside and toss it in the wash that night with my work things. I don’t get home early enough to do any when I get off. I grabbed a sweat shirt and just noticed it has something on it once I put it on at work. I guess it is stained it don’t normally wear it but around the house to bed or when it is cool. I cook and clean in it. Who knows what I got on it. It is almost 15 years old now that I think about it. I got this when we left for a hurricane when my oldest was less than a year old.

But I can’t help but think this is why we can’t have nice things when I get in the car. I keep having the thought of keeping my truck to run around in and to go to and from work in. Then use the car when me and the kids go places on the weekend and things. Instead of letting them mess it up too. But I got the truck because it is nice and would be a nice, decent, good lasting vehicle for us all. Isn’t that what we get things for or nice things for to use and enjoy? Isn’t that what happens to things when you use them and enjoy them, they get used, damaged, wore out or messed up? That is why we have to replace things after so long right?



{August 27, 2019}   Bail Money

I may have to start a gofundme page to get bail money. Because I can not be responsible for what I do to this man over my truck. I am tired of waiting and playing games. This could of been fixed in a week and the 6th will be two months I bought the truck and have not been able to us it at all. A few hours the first night that is it.

I can not walk away from $4000 or walk away with a truck that I can not drive that has issues and needs work. I bought a truck that ran great and looked good. Looked as of it had been well kept and would last me and the kids a while. Past the 3 to 5 years I normally keep one.

Now this and he is just fucking around because I’m a women and he thinks it is funny and he don’t want to do anything for me. Everyone keeps saying you need a guy to go kick his ass, you need a guy to handle it. But none of them want to step up and help me out. Even the couple I have asked to call and deal with him or go talk to him with me have an excuse.

He was sent a list of parts again over the weekend because he says I never sent him one. Not that I should be sending him one anyway he should be getting it. But since he says he don’t know, can’t blah blah I sent it. He was supposed to get back to me. Here we are almost 9:30 at night and he still has not contacted me back. He said 3 different people looked at my truck so one of them could give him a price for what I am asking for in just a minute. (I am sure they have why he don’t want to go that route) my guy told me in a mater of minutes.

Today I sent him this……….

Have you figured out the cost of parts. I my truck or money back this has went on for to long just trying to get a price and list of parts. The work could of been done many times over. I can not keep waiting and doing without. My truck.

I sent this this morning and ofcurse ignored. I need to go over there but I I just don’t know what to do or what it is going to accomplish other than maybe going to jail. Because if he is in my face and gets cocky or nasty like he has on the phone, I might knock the he’ll out of him. Once I start I may not stop.

I can’t go until Saturday maybe I should start my fundme page now. Give it time to build up enough money to get me out if something happens.



Do you ever have a random thought that your mind latches onto and will not let go? It’s the tiniest thing and meaningless but for whatever reason your mind decides it is as important as the the $100 bill in your pocket. It keeps coming back to it scared your going to lose it or something.

That is what my mind has done this past week. Last week while driving I reach to get something and was driving with my right hand. It felt very awkward and was hard to drive and do what I was trying to do with my left hand.

At that time I thought hum that is odd, I am right handed but drive with my left and it is hard to drive with my right. I wondered why that was and I came to the conclusion that it was just the natural way I had trained myself since I am right handed and use it to do things. If I wanted to do something like grab my drink I would use my right hand leaving the left on the wheel and have just gotten use to it that way. I wondered if it was just me or if others were  the same.

I then went on about the rest of my day not giving it another thought, so I thought. But now since then my brain hasn’t let it go. I think it a dozen times while I am driving. It don’t matter if I am going to the store two blocks up the road or 20 miles to work. It comes up and I think about it over and over again until i get were I am going. Sometimes even while I am where I am going for a bit until I get busy with something else.

How crazy is that? Why is my brain doing this to me over something so meaningless?

So here we go since it is there and I am telling you about it what say you all?

Are you right handed or left handed?

What hand do you drive with?

 

  1. Right handed drive with the right
  2. Right handed drive with the left
  3. Left handed drive with the left
  4. left handed drive with the right

I know we all should be driving with both hands on the wheel but lets be honest we know that we all don’t drive with both hands on the wheel all the time so give us your answer. I find myself driving with both hands more now that I have this new car but I think because it don’t have arm rest like my truck did. I think the arm rest is also part of the reason I drive left handed. But I can remember driving left handed way back when I first started driving thinking about it more even when I didn’t have things to reach for or do. I drove left handed. I remember my aunt talking about how I held the wheel and drove and how awkward it was to her. I held the little part inside the wheel not the wheel its self. I don’t know I drive more like that now in my smaller car as well. But I had a little truck when I first started driving. handled a lot like my car. That is probably why. Okay enough I am rambling now it is random not rambling thought.

Tell us in the comments are you 1, 2, 3 or 4 my weird mind wants to know. Maybe it will drop it and let this thought go once it finds out.



{August 5, 2019}   Traded My Truck

I finally traded my truck today. I stopped and talked to good friend and ask him if I just gave him my truck how much more would I need to give him to fix my other truck? He said it be a lot to do that job. I would be better off to do the motor if he was going to do it.

He said with the set up of not paying labor and half of parts then I am better off doing the heads because I would have basically a new motor not just a used motor in who knows what kind of shape.

But if I was going to have to pay for it all out of pocket I am better off letting him replace the motor. He said he could find me a good motor with right about the same miles that are on it now. It would save me a lot of money.

It makes since because the motor would be 16 hours of labor the head job is 28.

After I left he called and said if I wanted to give him my truck he would put me on the books for $800 worth of labor credit. I can use that on anything that I want. My new truck or getting the black car fixed or if I get another one and need something. Or need something later for one of these if this guy comes through.

I told him okay because if not I am only going to get $350 to $500. It has $500 worth of tires on it. That is my biggest problem when something happens is paying labor. So now all I have to do is get the parts and get it fixed. It’s 20 hours of labor at his charge but that’s alright. Most things only take an hour or two. He mostly only charges me the hours he works. So if book says 5 hours and it takes 2 he only charges 2 unlike other shops. Or he does for other people.

I really don’t care I just wanted to be done dealing with it and looking at it and it sitting there at my job. I better do something before something else happens at work and it is involved.

If I had to put a motor in the other truck it would cover that. I have to come up with $800 to $1000 for a motor.

I think they are about to take father of the year back to court and he is $1472 behind. If it ends up coming to me having to pay for it get it done I will take that and get a motor with it.



{August 5, 2019}   One Month Tomorrow

Still no truck or work started on fixing it. At this point I do not even want them to fix it but it will cost me $1000’s to get it done.

He messaged me back and told me it was the water pump finally. I told him I knew it was not. He kept on, I said it was not leaking it still is not, if it was the pump there would be water under the truck. He stop responding.

My good friend called him up told him all that was wrong with it and that he done test on it and everything. So he said he would have to have his guy look at it again. Then he says yeah its the head gasket. Then he tells me a motor would be the better way to go. I told him I like the price of the head job and the new motor itimized parts price everything.

He tells me $1500 or $1599 I think for the motor. I’m supposed to pay half. I tell him I need the information for the other job on the heads and a list of parts. He says he didn’t get that since the motor was the best way to go.

I told him I wanted a itemized list of parts and price. So Friday he says that the machine shop is telling him $1200 to $1500 just to do what needs done to the heads. Way off. Over by $1300 he is tryung to over charge me. I said I need that in writing showing what parts and prices. He says they won’t know until they get in there what else may need done. Wrong they have a list of parts, seals, gaskets, all that you will need to do a head job just like any other job.

Today I stopped and talk to good friend he called about parts and all that. Parts and machine shop should be about $900.

The lot guy messaged me and asked what I wanted to do? I said well I am being told the head job should be no more than $900 in parts. He says that isn’t what I am being quoted. Its up to you how you want to proceed from here.

I said I still need a list of all the parts and cost before I agree to anything. Again I have not heard from him. I am going to go to two shops I know the people and have them give me quotes in writing and going to text him and say ok this is what they are quoting for parts so where are you coming up with these prices? That I need a list of parts just like these two places gave me and prices now that he has a list of all the parts that will be needed. Go from there.



et cetera
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