{August 31, 2018}   A Little Bit of Everything

Right now I am sitting at work waiting on 2pm to get here so I can run around and pay bills. I haven’t heard from Father of the Years boss yet but figure I will this evening or tomorrow. I thought about just showing up there about 8 am this morning when I knew they were all meeting to go out and work. But I didn’t, I am trying not to pester the boss, be a bitch or seem like I am just trying to stir the pot or start trouble. Plus they haven’t gotten checks yet today if he was going to take out for this week he may not of yet. I figure I will just wait to see if he contacts me this after noon. If I do not hear from him by this evening or in the morning I will contact him before I come to work because I have a lot to pay out this weekend.

The good thing is I think I can get all my bills paid down to a $0 balance. I just do not know how it is going to work with my hours being cut at work now. Again everytime I get things lined up that we might get ahead something happens to I am just treading water to stay floating again.

I have to go pay on my guns, go to the school board about the older two kids schooling and see if I can get someone to look at the truck check the transmission fluid. I hope to meet up with Starfish get him to do it. If not Bff said to stop by the shop and ask this one guy there to check it for me. I was supposed to yesterday but didn’t. I didn’t really go anywhere and I really don’t want to go up to the shop and deal with them. The one guy she said to ask is okay but I don’t want to deal with the owner and the rest of it. He is just getting in more and more over his head. The repo guy he was working with isn’t happy with him they aren’t talking anymore. Him and Bff were talking the other day about things he was saying how he isn’t doing things right and he is going to get in trouble. He asked her if he has a drug problem and things as well. Told her she better watch out for her and her kids. I said see you are being told by how many people now that things are not right and watch out for you and the kids and get things set for you and them. Sleeping Beauty has told her since all the shit went down at the shop almost a year ago, the guys there now the one that was staying with them have been talking to her telling her things and that things are not right, now this guy is telling her. She needs to listen. The repo guy telling her he is going to go to jail if he keeps on messing with the people he is and doing the things he is.

Now she has taken this baby in and has him until December at the earliest and like I told her probably a lot longer. She says once he goes, but she always has some excuse and never does anything. I just hope nothing cares over to home from what he is doing and these people he is messing with.  The kids don’t go to the shop anymore. I think that he is the reason I did not get the job at the repo place as well. Then findout from the repo guy the guy at the car lot is into crap and rips people off all the time. Glad I didn’t leave my job here to go there. At least at the office I had nothing to do with dealing with any of the going on there. I just filed and cleaned. The repo guy told Bff that boss keeps saying he needs someone to work in the office up there she said I don’t see why hebhasn’t called you everything was fine with you then out of the blue he didn’t need you. She said the repo guy told her he told him he come help him and he won’t let him. Said he don’t want him to because he see all that is going on that shouldn’t be. I said that is why he don’t want me up there because he don’t want me telling you things.

We were talking about him being hooked on pills and things. She said he came home at 5 had dinner laid on the couch slept through everything got up about 10 or 11 and went got in bed and slept until like 7 the next morning. She was saying that isn’t right and things. I said it sounds like more than pills to me. Samething the other done when he was at my house. Gone come home got in bed slept all day all evening until I woke him up had no clue what time it was nothing. Laid back down went back to sleep soon as he was done doing what needed to be done. I know it wasn’t pills he was doing.

I told her yes he may have needes the pills when he got hurt he may still have some problems and need them. But he is now hooked and can’t do without them and sounds like from what others are saying and the way she says he has been acting he is moved on to other things. I said to her I am sure he didn’t set out to get hooked no one does. But it is way to easy to do and they give them away way to easly when you get hurt.

I could very well be in the same spot he is in right now or worse from when I got messed up in my accident I had before I had my 3rd baby. Everywhere I went they gave me two or three bottels of pills and all said if you need more just come back. I couldn’t take them and work or take care of the kids so I took them maybe once or twice a year. Had I taken them like they said I been hooked too. They hand them out like candy here. Then wonder why we have such a problem.

2 more hours to go I hope the owner gets here soon and writes checks because I need my money so i can pay bills today and buy food. Most the time he is here before now. I don’t see them here like he did them yesterday.

I have two older ladies locked in a room right now they are so funny. I have never had to go in a room so much to help. They keep saying you just stay right here wait a minute lol. By the time I get back up here to my desk they are calling me.

{May 28, 2018}   An Accident

My right arm is so sore and seems swollen to me. Its just an annoying soreness in my arm from down in my thumb to my elbow almost and all around.

I don’t know if I told you all that on Thursday I was almost in an accident. I almost broke my arm and just about hit a mailbox and other cars.

I did something I never do and know better than to ever do. I was reaching for something on my dash. I stuck my hand and arm through the steering wheel instead of around it. Then I had to turn and things and without thinking about what I was doing where my arm was I did. My arm got all twisted up in the wheel and snatched all around. I ran off the road because not only was my arm stuck I couldn’t steer the truck. I almost hit a mailbox other cars and the ditch.

Now it hurts up to my elbow still hurts to grip anything or carry anything. Just sore all the time no matter how I turn it, hold it or lay it. It isn’t bruised that I can see on the outside. My thumb hurts as well down into my arm. I can use it but it all hurts pretty bad.

Still can not believe I did that. I never do stuff like that. I am just so wore out and stressed over bills. I feel like I am sleepwalking through my days and nights. Just go go go all the time and then dealing with her on top of it.

{May 1, 2018}   Just a Bad Dream

I just want to lay down go to sleep and wake up tomorrow to find that today was all just a really bad dream. That the events of the day never happend.

I talked to my friend some more today and come to findout the guy from the shop was in a S10’s truck. It was lifted. But the way it looked on the roof in the accident I would of never guessed that is what it was. I do remember seeing it at work a few times. I did not know it was his. Thought it was a customers.

Anyway she told me about 4 they said a 1% chance of him living. They said his neck was broke. Later they did test and said there was nothing. Brain activty I guess. The family announced he been in an accident and did not make it already. I said something to my friend she said they are waiting to do what they need at the hospital because he was an organ donor.

She is upset they already posted said that and they are doing this so soon. She said she feels like they just giving up on him nof giving him time. I told her that him being a donor and things he has already had this conversation with his wife and family what he wanted if something happen and things. That i would not want to be left like that for days everyone fauls hopes. I am sure it’s not easy for the family but they are thinking looking at things relisticly.

But it does seem like they are giving up because everyone is still trying to process what just happened. It unbelievable, this don’t happen out of no where like that. We were all just waking up getting out of the house and starting our day. None of us was thinking oh in a few minutes one of us is going to be gone. It puts life into a new prospective for sure. Your not only trying to process what just happen, grieve, but also looking at your own life and thinking that could be anyone of us at any given second.

She said boss went in held his hand told him he loved him brother his heart rate went up. I can not imagain what he is going through. Or the other guy the kid that is living with the boss. He told my friend today he is my best friend. For him thats big because of things he dealing with and dont have a lot of friends. He cares about everyone has a huge heart.

I am dreading going to the shop Wednesday if they are even open. Its going to be bad if it is. They are closing this shop and opening another in a few days. Well they were, not sure when the other will open now. The one that was killed today was so excited about it, he been with them looking at it and laying everything out and things. He was excited they were all going to be inside work no matter rain or what, they were all going to get their own lifts and have their own work area and things. He couldn’t wait. This happen days before. Where we are is to small, 3 of 4 lifts are outside its a pain the way they are set. We do move its going to be like leaving something behind now he isn’t there.

R.I.P. Will

Your going to forever be missed. I hope you knew how much your work family truly cared about you.

{April 30, 2018}   Disbelief, Shocked, Numb

Woke up to a horrible phone call this morning. It was my bestfriend, she hardly ever calls me this early if she does she wants to go to breakfast or something she wants me to go do with her. I was still laying in bed with Little Bitty she is home sick, wondering what she wanted to do if I felt like getting up and going.

I answered but I couldn’t understand her. She sounded out of breath or something she was saying something the shop. She finally slowed down. She was saying it bad just pray its going to take a medical. I said what, and said you know X from the shop? He had an accident on the way to work they don’t think he is going to make it!

I didn’t know what to say, my stomach dropped. He comes from the other county over here to the shop to work. He is like on the out skirts of the two counties. She said they had to life flight him. She was on her way to the office to get her husband and go over there. She said he was distraught. I am sure he is I am just in shock.

I didn’t know him that well, hey how are you or something. But still something like this to happen, you don’t want see that to happen to anyone.

I thought he was in some kind of little truck. When I seen him and Starfish going to work one morning theh were in a little truck. She sent a picture they were sent and it looks like a suv of some kind and bigger. But it was still a really bad accident. The wheel is off the truck it’s upside down on the side of the road on a pole it looked like. She said his friend was behind him and he survived to miss something in the road and it flipped.

I pray he comes through this and was thinking maybe it wasn’t as bad as they thought. But after seeing the picture I don’t know. I am just waiting for them to get there and get an update. I told her I was here if they needed me to go to the shop or pick up kids or anything. Little one is sick but its like a cold. I can always take her with me. Its only been about an hour and half I figure they just got there not long ago probably trying to find his wife and things see what they are saying. Be with her.

{March 11, 2017}   Car Insurance

I had to get car insurance yesterday and boy I was not ready for what was coming even though I knew it was coming and going to be bad. I looked at plans with the company I have been with and it was close to or over $300 a month. I called another company and they told me less than $100 then I asked about accidents and things because she did not ask me. She put it all in and told me it would be $140 a month. Then she ran the driving history and all the other stuff she runs and it went up to $190 something a month. I told her about the very first accident I had but forgot about them giving me a ticket for it so that made it go up more. I wasn’t happy but didn’t feel like going through everything again with someone else so I just took it. I will have normal internet back on Tuesday and hopefully a little more free time. I figured I will shop around on line and see what I find. Mine was just up for renawl and I had to get something. They will have to return whatever money that is there I have not used so I haven’t lost anything. I have a feeling that it won’t be much cheaper but I will try.

I am going to need to get a job just to pay for that and the extra the rent is going up this month coming up. I have been looking but not a lot of options out there. They are working on about 5 empty buildings that have been sitting empty for a while, I am hoping that they put some decent places in around us and maybe something I can get a job at. We have so many empty buildings and half empty shopping centers or empty shopping centers its sad really. They just build more than to fix the ones that are sitting empty most the time. I understand why because most are older even though it don’t seem like it and the fact they are sitting empty for so long. I am just glad that some places are coming back to the area again and we are getting some new places. We got a Tractor Supply last year I think it seems so odd and out of places this is the last place I would think to put a Tractor Supply but it seems to do okay. I don’t think it is doing great or one of their better earning stores, but they seem to be building up customers slowly. I wonder how long it is going to be there really. But I may be wrong. I have to get school work done and police the kids it sounds like wwe death match in my living room and the oldest is upset. Maybe I will be back later.

{December 26, 2016}   Just Something Else to Take Care Of

Yesterday on the way to my sisters to meet the kids for dinner I had an accident. Yes another one in a year and half or so. I can not believe this. I have been driving for 22 years and never had an accident and now this.

I have no idea where he came from I did not see him at all but turned into him. We pulled over but then this lady from the house he left came down there started yelling at me and jumping on me. I thought he was calling police he was on the phone then I she is yelling just call the police, call the police. He just stood there not saying anything or doing anything she started again. I said I’m not fighting with you, you all aren’t calling them I will. Pulled my phone out said we had an accident we need the police and hung up.

Next thing I know there is another women down there she was the owner of the car. she was not in it when it happen it was a guy by himself. Well then the cop came I was looking for the paperwork he wanted and she started talking to the police. I didn’t know it she told him she was driving so the cop never took the guys name checked his license or anything else. Then I called and reported to my insurance and it was all wrong and messed up because they asked for owner of the car then hung up when we they were done getting the information. They thought she was driving. She asked to talk to them so I let her then when they got back on the phone the lady hung up before I could talk to her again.

I started thinking about it all later and got the report and seen he was not listed and that they listed her as the driver. I called the cop back and told him this was not right he said she told him she was the driver but he wasn’t really worried about it or getting me the information for the other person who was driving or to see if he was even legal to drive. Told me well it wouldn’t make a difference who was driving although it would if he wasn’t legal. I just said ok and hung up I wasn’t fighting with him it was late I was tired and knew I was going to get no where with him. He told me if my insurance company wanted the information then they needed to get it from her.

Today I called talk to dispatch again and told them I had an accident the cops came the paperwork was filled out wrong. I told them I wanted to talk to whoever was in charge. Well then she wasn’t there so they said she would call me back after she got in and they had their meeting. An hour or so after their meeting I was getting a call. The cop was calling me back. He wasn’t happy he was like I thought everything was fine when we hung up last night I told you I would get you the information as soon as I could. I said no you told me it didn’t matter and that if my company wanted it they could get it from her. I said now i have someone not even in the car saying they were driving and in the car and they can sue me for injuries or whatever. I have some man I do not even know who he is wondering around out there who could sue me as well or anyone else who decided to since we don’t know who he is. I said they have been in trouble for fraud and drugs and everything else already so I can’t assume they aren’t going to try something they already are or they wouldn’t have said she was driving.

He said well she still says she was driving and I told her you had no reason to lie about it and that she wasn’t, but she is still saying she was in the car. He said he told her he wasn’t going to take her or him to jail and whatever but he needed the information. But he just called her didn’t see the guy so he don’t know if this is the right guy and right information I am sure. He started about I could have given you a ticket and things blah blah about the insurance and the laws and this or that. I said well I have the information I needed I will be talking to the insurance offices tomorrow about this all and letting them know that she was not in the car and that he was driving.

She was so worried about her insurance finding out and dropping her and had just left my company and went with this new one in October so something isn’t right. I am going to call both and let them know she was not in the car she was not driving the car, she was not even outside and seen what happen. That she lied to the cop and had it put on the report she was. I see this being a long drug out process and being a fight because I am not going to be hit to pay for injuries and things when she was not in the car and he said he was fine. They didn’t even send a fire truck ambulance tow truck nothing out. I wish the cop had impounded the car now until we got to the bottom of all this. But I am sure if she don’t give the insurance company what they want they are not going to pay out and she wants to get it settled fast so she may just give them the information and get it over with. I think that what I have should cover the damage but I don’t know.

I called the insurance company back last night told them what was going on they said I had to call when the office was open they just collect information and that was it. I have to talk to them about if this all matters and what to do. Over the weekend and yesterday it said they were closed for the holiday or something. When I call today it says push this push that push this over here now and then hold for the next person to talk to. I help twice forever until I had to hang up and no one answered so I gave up figured they must me closed and I will call tomorrow.

I don’t know how I feel it just seems so serial and like a dream. I still can’t figure out how I hit him or where he came from. It dented my bumper in on the driver side knocked the lights on that side all out and bent the fender again. I will probably have to replace it all. nothing I can do until February. I have to get the lights of course but that is all I can do really and I can’t afford to do that even, but I have to.

Her car it broke the mirror off on the passenger side and it and my light I guess smacked the window on that side and broke it out. Then went down the side and dented the doors and scuffed the paint up. It was still drive able they can’t get them doors open probably. I don’t think it bent the frame or caused enough damage to total it. It was a 2011 impala.



{August 25, 2016}   Two Unexpected Calls Yesterday

I got a call from the insurance office and the lawyer yesterday. I called the lawyer back and they wanted to send a financial paper over so I can tell them about all the money I have coming in and all over the money I spend every month. She said they will email it to me and the lawyer is supposed to call me next Thursday or Friday to go over it with me. I wanted to tell her there would be no need for that because I have nothing. I didn’t.

I called the insurance office back and finally got a hold of the guy. He was a lot nicer and better than the first two people that have had my case. He just said he wanted to let me know he was on my case now and what was going on. If I had any questions or worries to give him a call he would help me out or get the answers for me. I told him I had talk to the lady at the lawyers office and she was sending paperwork.

I told him I just got divorced it finally went through that we hadn’t been fighting in court but we had been fighting outside court for a while now and he finally agreed to everything and we got it done. He said he thought they just needed my information because the car was only in my name. I said yes it was and I asked him what they were looking for because I truly have nothing. He said anything other than your home you live in, anything over 1 car that you own, bonds, stocks, employment, any businesses that you own and other things.

I said I am a single mom of 4 kids, I am a student. I told him I rent, we hadn’t owned our home in years now, that I had one truck and that was the truck that I was in the accident in and other than that I have the contents and furnishings for my house that was really it. That I just have what we needed and had to have to get by right now because I wasn’t working and because we did not plan to stay here once I got out of school. We plan to move a way and start over new when we get where ever we decide to go. He said he understood he said State Farm sues everyone not to worry about it. He said we try to take your information on that paper and show it would be a hardship for you to pay and that you really do not have it to pay and probably can’t even if ordered to and try to get them to just settle for what we have to offer. I said the worse case is they are going to get a judgment saying that once I start working they can ask to be paid and to look at my income and see if or what I can pay then or if I ever get anything they get their money right? He said yes worse case that is all that they can do is get a judgement. He said I have seen people say I can’t pay over $6 a month and that is what they pay. He said just don’t stress or worry about we are going to do our best to get you out of it and not have to pay anything. He said he pays good money to have the coverage he has and these companies make a lot of money every day. That is what they are here for is to pay claims when something like this happens. They aren’t losing money, but they are going to try to hold onto as much as they can and if something happens they jump straight to suing instead of seeing if it is worth suing even.

I said well I’m not stressing about it I’m just waiting to see what happens. I said it was nothing more than an accident I wasn’t speeding or doing anything wrong, I looked because a car was to close to one side and when I looked up there was car stopped in front of me. I said I was trying to avoid hitting anyone why I swerved off the road but then he turned and I couldn’t avoid it. I said so if they get a judgment then if/or when I can pay them something I will. It is what it is and I can’t give them something I don’t have. He said that’s right. He said just let the lawyer know everything you told me and give him the papers and we will do everything we can to help that’s what you pay us all these years for.

That is the first I have heard from them in months. I heard from the lawyer in a letter right after I got the papers saying I was being sued. Then sometime over the summer I got a letter from them saying they were still taking care of my case that I didn’t need to do anything they would get a hold of me if they needed anything. Yesterday was the first time I have heard from the insurance company in almost a year. I didn’t know they were still really involved or anything like that.

I guess it is a good thing that the places I wanted to rent to start a business rented before I could rent them. If I had started that then they would have had something to go after. I couldn’t have paid them and the business and keep it going. I would have had to close down. I wouldn’t have had a chance to even start really making money with it. I have kind of decided to just work on school forget everything else until I am done. Then find a job for a little while until it is time for us to move. After that then work on the things I want to do and have. I will have my degree to get a job until I decide what I really want to do.

{December 27, 2015}   Twenty Seven Thousand Dollars

I hadn’t heard anything at all about the accident I had in September until the last couple weeks. Then I got a notice in the mail saying I needed to pick up a letter and sign for it and I got a call from the lady handling the claim. I tried to call her back but she didn’t leave her last name or all over her extinction so I couldn’t get a hold of her. Finally after calling and waiting on hold three different days I got some one who gave me the information for her. They transferred me over to her but of course she wasn’t in or answering the phone who knows. I called back and left a message telling her when I would be able to answer the phone so she could call me back. But I never heard back from her.

Then last week I got a couple letters in the mail and a big package of information. The letter just said that they know there was an accident this was who would be handling it and that was about it. The big package told me that they had three claims against me from the accident. His insurance company, AT&T, and a guys name. I am not sure if the guys name is the name of the guy who I hit or the guy that was in the car with him. I am thinking probably the guy in the car with him, but really not sure.

It shows that someone ended up going to the er and being checked out, that they gave him a rental car and that cost almost a grand, that his car was totaled ( I already knew that when it happen, he didn’t think so) and that the phone company wants a grand for the box that he ended up landing on. They bought him a new car came to around fifty thousand or more. They are showing something salvage for over eleven thousand, I am thinking that is what they ended up selling the totaled car for. It looks like they took that off and something else because it is showing thirty seven thousand still owed and my insurance is only good for ten thousand.

It says they are going to do all that they can to settle this without anything being left owed on it but they don’t know what is going to happen and there maybe meeting and things that I will need to or should be present at. That if they can not settle then they will be asking what I can contribute toward the amount owed and try to settle with that amount.

I have nothing extra right now I can give them toward it, so I will probably be sued by the other insurance company or this guy for the twenty seven thousand dollars that is left owed on it. All I can do is wait and see what happens and when they decide to go to court. It sucks because I am going to end up missing work in order to go to court. Then who knows what they will say once we get in court. It’s not like I have all this extra money at the end of the week or the month to do anything with. By the time I pay my bills I have just enough to get gas and some food for the next two weeks. I had to borrow a big chunk of money last week to get threw to this week and have nothing left. All I have they can take is my truck and at one time it was worth a little bit but now that I had the accident and put it back together it probably isn’t worth much now. It still needs the hood fixed, it needs to be painted because it wasn’t blended, it has some mechanical things wrong with it I still have to figure out and get fixed as well. If insurance had paid out it would have been totaled as well so that should tell them something. If it is like it is with a lot of things around here when it comes to vehicles, I am not the only one who depends on that vehicle to get around so they can’t take it if it is the only one I have. My kids depend on it to get to doctors, the store and other places they need to go. Even though I am the driver they still have places they have to get to. That being their only way then they do not take it out of the home it would cause a hardship for them. Those two things maybe the only things that save my truck and not leave me walking.

I don’t know what’s going to happen all I know is that I can’t stress over it until whats going to happen, happens. I am just going to do what I have to do tell them what they need to know and show up when and where I am supposed to show up. Once they decide what is going to happen and what I am going to have to do or not have to do then I will worry about it and take care of it from there. I had my license and insurance that is required by the state so I can’t get in trouble for that at least.

{October 9, 2015}   Walking Around In A Fog

Haven’t been on in a little bit, I haven’t been feeling that good. I have logged on to post then just log back out. I just feel like I am walking around in a fog lately. I keep forgetting things, can’t focus, feel so sleepy all the time. I sit down and try to do my school stuff and I read it three or four time and still have no clue what it says. I really messed up with two classes and my mid term. I don’t know how I done it I am on top of it and have a lot of my stuff done and ready to turn in ahead of time. I some how missed doing two classes of work. It was like I’m not even taking classes I never thought about needing to do school work or test coming up. Most the time I am doing work off and on through out the day every day. Yesterday I sat down and logged in for the first time in days and seen I had two mid terms that were due and they had to be done today or I would fail the class. I went and took them back to back. It is not like I am doing a bunch of other stuff and forgetting it I’m not. I just don’t think of it I’m sitting here doing nothing. Well not nothing most the time I am trying to hold my eyes open because I have been so sleepy no matter how much I sleep or coffee I drink. Tuesday my family was here for the boys birthday dinner my poor niece ask me for a drink like 5 times. I say ok walk around the corner into the kitchen and stand there be like what am I supposed to be doing then start doing something else. I come back through and she would ask if I got her drink. I just say I’m getting it let I needed to do this fast then I can get it. Sitting here talking to the kids I get in the middle of saying something and just stop because I have no clue what I was saying or can’t get it out.

I am starting to think it is from the accident. I felt ok after it I did get sick why we were there waiting for the police to do paperwork and let us go, but that was it I felt ok after that. Just shook up with all that happen to be expected. It all felt unreal or like a dream. I figured I feel fine the next day. I haven’t I just feel like it’s getting worse not better. I remember about two weeks after it happening having a really bad day and just not being able to wake up it seemed like. I got up with the kids and sat down on the couch I fell a sleep, sat down here at the desk to check on school stuff and couldn’t I had to lay down. I was supposed to be somewhere that night I knew I had something that day to do and could not think for the life of me what it was. I thought of it a few days later. My head hurts all the time. Right now I just want to go lay down and go to sleep and sleep for days. It is only 10 pm and I sleep in really later today, I should not want to be sleeping right now. But I felt like I wanted to go back to bed when I got up and it hasn’t changed just got worse. I don’t even like to drive right now and not because of what happen, just because I feel like I can’t focus. I was going to the body shop yesterday have lived here all my life pass it all the time, I had to stop and figure out where I was and if I passed. I knew I had passed it and needed to turn around and someone said no we hadn’t gotten to it yet. I was looking for a place to turn around. I hope it’s nothing and I start to feel better soon. I need to be able to do my school work, stuff around the house, drive and take care of the kids. I can’t do that sleeping all the time. I don’t think I felt this sleepy when I had mono and was trying to get over it. So much to catch up on here but I will have to do it later when I am feeling more up to it. It took me sitting down two different times to get this finished. That’s why I have been MIA

{September 20, 2015}   The Bitch Again

I guess on the phone wasn’t enough he had to come over and start Thursday night. I told him if he was doing his part I would have money to pay someone to fix my truck and not need to ask him to but if he wasn’t going to pay then he needed to do something. He jumped up at me and over me started screaming about what my little bitty’s dad pays and how he pays nothing. I reminded him that I had been to get her dad to help but that I couldn’t because we were still married and that he wouldn’t move so they wouldn’t do anything until we are divorced they don’t want to help me. He kept on I told him fine I was going to go back and I was going to tell them that I not only wanted to go after little bitty’s dad but I was going after him for the other three. I don’t care how much money he is or isn’t making, what he can or can’t pay or if he has a place to live any more because he can’t do anything at all for his kids even if he has money he can’t do anything for their birthday, Christmas, school, clothes, shoes or other extra things that they want to do because he don’t budget and don’t care. He freaked out go ahead I don’t care I want you too. I’ll just tell them fuck you and not pay like everyone else dose, they aren’t going to do anything to me.

Sad part is he is probably right or if they do it will take years just like it will to get help with my little bitty from her dad. I really was going to take some of the extra money I had and get a lawyer to help me with my divorce and an investigator to help me find her dad. That way I could take it to court myself. If I know where he is I can do it myself. It isn’t as hard with him as it is with farther of the year because we have nothing filed or anything on paper anywhere. With father of the year everything being filed and him stopping it now I need things changed it’s been so long and I need to file contested since he is going to try and fight it or stop it again because he don’t want it.

He went to work Friday and was supposed to get off right after he turned his paper work in to take my truck to the shop, get tags on the other truck and take care of couple other things since they wanted him to work the weekend. I asked him that night your sure your coming straight here first things because we need some stuff from the store like milk and lunch stuff so the kids can have breakfast and lunch. I hadn’t been shopping since the accident. He was coming no matter what he was going to tell them he had to have off to take care of things. 11 am rolls around and I haven’t heard from him or seen him. kids are wanting to eat and things. I call him and finally get him on the phone. He says oh he been busy with work he got call before he ever got to go in that morning. But he had made it in so that wasn’t the problem. Then he said he told them he needed to go do this stuff but no one ever said anything or told him when he could take off and do it. That he was just going to be off the weekend he guess. Knowing all along when he is telling me this he isn’t going to be because they have no one to work it and that he isn’t going to tell them no he isn’t working the weekend. I got mad we got into it, he said well he had this call and another and blah blah to go take care of and then he was going to talk to them about it again so he could do it today. At the time is was almost 11:30 he wouldn’t have been done until after 2. He knows the tag place he can’t get in after 3 and that the body shop would be closed by the time he got done there if he made it in and if he tried to go to the body shop before he wouldn’t make it to the tag place. He was just trying to get out of doing it.

Something was said again about the truck he was supposed to be tagging and things. It is my old truck I have driven for the last 5 years or more that I stopped driving right before I got this one because it broke down. I was so done and over hearing one excuse after another I finally said fine you do whatever you want to do when and how you want to do it. But if my truck is not at the body shop before they close and that truck is not tagged and on the road before they close today, I am taking that truck and selling it to pay to fix my truck so that me and the kids have something safe and reliable to drive. The title is still in my name it is still my truck. All I had to do is go to the tag office and get a title since had has the other one where ever he has it. All legal we are married and until he puts it in his name it is is mine. Oh boy I don’t know if I have ever heard him so mad because he knew I could and would do it, he knew how mad I was. It wasn’t 20 minutes and he was standing at my door ready to take my truck to the body shop and then going to get the tag for the other truck. Now I just have to wait until they call and say it has been pulled so I can pick it up. Then to figure out what I am doing for parts for sure and get it done.

Then up over me yelling the other night telling me how I’m not working, I’m lazy and not trying to find a job and blow off interviews. One I have put in 100’s of resumes and a ton of applications when I get called back. I have them all right where I can show I sent them. I have went to every interview but one and that was because I could not do the job when they told me what it was. And if I get a job I can’t afford to pay all of the daycare by myself. If I have to pay daycare it will be just about what I make in a week if not more. He says so what do you want me to do about it? really get off your ass be a man and help take care of your kids. But that is to much to ask I know.

I don’t get why I have to be such a bitch and find stuff to threaten him with to get him to even half ass do what he is supposed to do. I can only imagine what he went inside and told them at work the other day. He was so mad he threw his phone and broke it so he has none now. He keeps saying yeah for $20 I can get a new one. He has needed a new one for months now but never seems to have $20 to get it. Now he has no option but to buy a new one because his will do nothing now. I know he is thinking I’m going to say oh here is $20 go get a new phone pay me back when you can or whatever. Nope not happening do without like we do because your sorry ass don’t do what you are supposed too. He already owes me $400, plus all the money he should be paying to help with the kids and the things they need.

He probably went inside and said the bitch is going to take my truck out there and sell I have to go to the tag office and get the title in my name before she sells it this weekend. She’s so fucking lazy and won’t work don’t have no money so she is going to sell it to get money to fix her truck. Leaving out the part that I should have money to fix it but don’t because I am paying his part and mine for the last 6 months or more. How he has left it sit for over a week and refused to take the fender off and drive it around the corner or throw it on the back of the truck and take it over there. How he owes me other money as well almost enough to get all the parts I need and my sister money that he don’t bother to try and pay back. So I have every right to sell it and get what I can out of it to help with things here or fixing my truck. How it was my truck and I gave it to him.

et cetera
%d bloggers like this: