{October 24, 2019}   I Almost Cried

Yesterday after the awards at the school I left and I went and paid the water bill and the internet bill. I paid them both down to $0. I still have the light bill to pay on next week but when I do it will also be paid down to $0 balance.  The water bill was late the light bill will be on time. On time and paid in full!

I know that probably don’t sound like a lot to you all or your saying yeah so lots of people do that all the time or what. But for me that is a big deal and to know that I did it on my own, without having to borrow, or use my tax money, or money I got from here or there it huge.

In the last 7 years me and the kids were homeless two years in a row for Christmas. We got into this place March of 2014. Although we have had a place it has been a struggle to keep it and keep bills paid. Much less other things we need. I have worked two and three jobs at a time and just staying a step ahead from sinking. Get a step or so ahead or think I was and get knocked back down.

I don’t think I have had a $0 balance on my bills since I started services there 4.5 years ago. Other than if I got my tax money and was able to pay them up and then they were up there again in a month or two because I wan’t making enough to pay them off each month. I would shuffle money around to keep things going. Final notices got paid and everything else got shuffled until the magic letter came in the mail. Then I would have to borrow to get keep them going at times or we would do without other things or scrape by.

I was so happy and excited I almost cried when I paid the water bill it showed a $0 balance. It is so discouraging to pay it have them hand you the receipt and it have a balance on it over $100 and you just handed them $200 or more.

Needless to say my excitement quickly faded when I got to work and oldest messaged me and said oh did you get the note that was on the door yesterday?

I had no idea what she was talking about she sent me a picture it is a three day notice to pay or get out. I owe them $400 for “repairs” Because I have to pay $75 every time they have to send someone out. 99% of the time it is for the plumbing that they have been told over and over has a busted pipe. But they will not pay someone to check it out. They say I have to do that. I don’t have the money. So when it won’t drain at all I have to do something I call them they send their man he cleans the line and it drains for a bit and we do it over. If I have the money i pay it and when I don’t it sits there. Rent is paid on time every month has been for a while because it is the one thing I have no play with when it gets paid why everything else gets shuffled around. They can’t put me out over anything other than rent but they I guess took my rent money and put it on my fee’s so it shows I am behind on my rent. Since I paid by their card not a check or money order there isn’t much I can do about it. If I pay by check or money order and write for rent they can’t use it for anything else. Since it is on the card they can do what they want because it isn’t marked. But I have always done it like that and if it was paid on the first they just took it as rent. I have been paying $75, $25 a $100 extra a month but I don’t have it all I talked to them and that was fine because I gave them a chunk upfront. But then I had to call them since and they have a hair in their ass about something they did this and didn’t even say they were changing things up or nothing just come stick a note on the door. Now i am trying to figure out how to pay it before TOMORROW. If I had known I could of probably waited to pay those bills had a chunk of it now I paid them I don’t have any of it. If I get paid tomorrow that is food money and lights. I was going to ask my boss at my night job but he is out of town until Tuesday so that don’t help. I can probably get by until Monday but after that I will be in Trouble they will be back Monday if I don’t pay it that morning. Then it will cost more they add fee every time they have to come out there or what. I don’t know what I am going to do. Even if I worked doing pizza’s this weekend I won’t make near that much. I don’t know who else to ask to borrow it.

I am probably going to have to pawn my guns and then I am going to be in that cycle that I can’t get out of for a while end up costing me a ton of money in the end. I was feeling so good and so accomplished. That I was making progress, real progress I was going to have all the bills paid up and then be able to pay that $400 up. But it was costing me more to not pay the bills up first vs paying the rent up and I had made arrangments and was making payments. I was going to start paying extra to pay it up faster since I had bills paid up and wasn’t paying so much on them and late fee’s. I will work it out but I don’t know how and it feel knocked down and defeated again and like all my work was for nothing if I can’t come up with this last little $400.

{February 25, 2015}   Slowly But Surely

In November of 2012 shortly after I moved from RC’s place I posted a page with My Goals and Dreams. It has been just over two years since that post and a lot has happened. Everything hasn’t turned out just as planed but they are slowly falling into place. I thought I would update and let everyone see where I am so far.

Moving was top of the list. I really thought this was going to be the time and we were going to do it this year. Then everything happen with my dad. I was not going to move and leave him here that way. My plan was to have him move with me he couldn’t move at that point either. That pushed things back to next year probably. But I don’t regret putting it on hold. He is much more important. dreamboard3


I also figured out that the scholarship my son got a few months ago would not be usable if we had moved. I had not thought about asking or checking into that until after I found everything else out and couldn’t go. I probably wouldn’t have thought to check into it because I thought once it was awarded you could use it anywhere. I want to use it to get him things he needs and then maybe put the rest into a collage found for him so he don’t lose it.

dreamboard2At least with in the next two weeks or less me and the kids will have our own house. Father of the year is moving out for good this time and we will be staying in the house we are now living in. The rent is paid up until May and I have no lease. I would like to try and find something in a little better area and closer to places we go a lot but either way it will all be ok.


deamboardI have gotten furniture for our place. The boys got this bed without the shelves under it. Instead it has another twin bed that pulls out for my little one to sleep on. I liked it because it gave them more room since they just pushed the bottom bed under. Wrong it stays out all the time they have their “hideout” back there. I still have to decide what to do for dresses. They have two but they don’t match. Either re due them or get others. But it is a start. My big girl found a set she liked at a good deal so she has a tall chest desk and bed. My baby girl has her little house bed she just loves. I got a living room set just need to get some coffee tables to go with it. I got a great deal on a dining room set as well that is nice. I would like to find some chairs as I don’t like the ones that came with it but they are nice. Just not very strong to last long. I got to work on finding me some stuff for my room. I am getting my dads bed and then just need dresser. But the kids are happy and have stuff. I will share with my little bitty a little while longer.

dreamboard1 Of course baby girl is here. Hard to believe she will be two already in April. She is something else and smart as can be. She knows it too so it just makes it even worse. She learned to do flips watching Elmo, well now not only dose she do flips but she likes to flip off of things like chairs, stools, toys or whatever else she things she can. She watched them and learned to jump with both feet off the ground. She has been counting some for a while. If you start she will say the next number most the time. She is talking up a storm now too. Her vocabulary is crazy. Her obsession over shoes is out of unbelievable. She will sit down and try to take shoes off anyone’s feet if she likes them.

School has been a all new experience for us this year. As we decided to homeschool this year after moving into our house and not liking the school that’s practically in our front yard. Not wanting to drive 50 miles a day again to take them to and from and not being able to find one that suits either of them very well. schoolI want to take some classes but had waited to start because I thought we were going to be moving out of state. I didn’t think to check into starting when plans changed but it all just happen so fast I couldn’t have done them and dealt with all that was going on. I’m not sure if I am even ready to think about trying to get back into it now yet really. But I plan to start checking everything out so that I can start soon. The kids like being homeschooled. We will keep doing that this next year coming up.

dreamboard4 We made it through the holidays the last two years. The first was hard because we were homeless yet again. This year was pretty nice because the kids got to put up all their stuff for the different holidays. I don’t even remember what we did for new year eve. I sure know what I was doing New years day. Since then every day has been a struggle to get through.

I had wanted to get my truck once I got moved away and settled. But since I couldn’t move this year and my truck decided to break down I took some of the money I was going to move on and got a truck. truck I will have to get a better picture of it but this is all I have for now. Another one of them things I haven’t felt like doing. It isn’t a big deal so it hasn’t gotten done. It don’t have the tv’s in it but it isn’t a big deal because the kids don’t keep up with their dvd’s anyway. My dad was going to get them one for the truck at Christmas but didn’t because they don’t. It is the 5.4 L motor in it. It don’t have a left but maybe I will put one on it when I have some extra money once I get to working. I am just happy I found one in such good shape for such a good price.

I have accomplished 4 out of 10 goals in 27 months. It isn’t great but it isn’t horrible either. I don’t think so anyway considering that most of them take a pretty good chunk of money to accomplish and the spot I am in.


et cetera
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