{August 14, 2019}   They Finally Filed

On my case with RC it says they filed papers with the court the 25th of last month. I keep looking at the clerk of courts site to see what it says they are doing since that is all it says. But it isn’t showing up. I finally chatted with someone online about it and they said they filed and were waiting on RC to be served but they didn’t know why it wasn’t showing up on the clerk of courts site.

I also asked them about Father of the Year and why they were not going after him again. They told me we sent and revoked his passport. I said he don’t care he don’t need one for anything, you took his drivers license months ago and he still goes to work every day and drives the company truck and brings it home and drives it everywhere he needs to or wants to go. So when will they take him back to court? Because that is the only thing that is going to get him to pay anything. Then she tells me they will not take him back to court until they have exhausted all other avenues and they do not work.

I am calling the court house tomorrow to see if I can get them to do something. If not I am going to see what papers I need to file so that I can file myself.

I went back to the clerk of court website to look up the judge that was on our case and get the number for her. I didn’t look at the cases when they came up and just clicked on our case. When I looked at it something didn’t look right. I started reading it and it was for me and RC not me and Father of the Year. Mine and father of the years case was at the bottom of the list but now mine and RC’s is so when I clicked it was his.

But now that it is all on the site it means that the court house has it moving in their system. Meaning it should be on it’s way out for him to be served. If we are lucky maybe we will have a court date by Christmas. But it is to establish or disestablish paternity. So if he or the judge wants DNA they will collect it there and it will take two weeks for them to get it back to us. Then we will have to wait for another court date. With Christmas and New Years we will not even get back in court before February if not later probably.

But at least the ball is rolling in the right direction finally after 6.5 years.

To be honest it is maddening really the way they do things and how long it takes them to help and get something going much less in place.


{August 30, 2018}   My Sisters Message

Today I woke up to a text message, it was from my sister. She said she got a message from Buddy’s, the local furniture rental place. She said they were looking for father of the year.

I told her to tell them she didn’t know why he would use her as a reference that she had not seen or talked to him in over a year and a half when he disappeared. I said tell them he don’t even pay child support for his kids good luck getting their money.

Guess money has been a little tight this month it seems. Isn’t that a petty? NOT! I don’t feel the least bit sorry for him. I hope they have their whole house from beds to couches through them and they come snatch it all. Let them struggle and do without try to figure out how to get something. I know them they will keep it as long as they can without paying on it before they give it back and still will not have replaced it at that point.

They are weeks behind and not talking to them or they would not have called her looking for him.

{July 15, 2018}   No Show Deadbeat

Not surprising the deadbeat did not show up or call today. I am really not surprised at all. I sat down last night and figured how far behind he is. He owes $9400 as of this Friday that just passed. But no one will do anything about it. It is pretty sorry these guys are able to walk away from their responsibilities so easily and no one does anything. No matter how much you beg and ask.

It really should be a criminal charge to not pay and take care of your kid/s. It is one thing if there is a reason you really can’t and you are there other ways or what. But when you do like he is and not doing anything and have the money coming in. Its messed up.


My oldest said she isn’t surprised and expected it. But I know it hurts and there was that small tiny shred of hope that was crushed. And it hurts just as bad. I hurt for her. I just want to go knock on his door be like here you go you said bring them over. Buckle up they are moving in because ai can’t do it anymore. Leave them for like two weeks. Tell them to make their lives hell why they are there. After the first 24/48 they be bringing them back and paying. If only that would work. I am mailing the paper off to irs Monday and as soon as i can get to the court house filing for him to go to jail and lose his dl. See how he works then with none and from jail. How his boss likes it when they come knocking on the door he ends up in jail as well. Fun times are about to come their way.

5:30 pm Monday was the last time I heard from him. He said he had to be at work by 10 am Tuesday but had no clothes. I said something back joking and he was off-line. Around 8 I ask if he had a ride told him to get a hold of me. I went to bed fairly early. Not long after that. I woke about 4 he been on line but not responded. I messaged ask if he still needed a ride and told him to get a hold of me first thing this morning. To call me. I don’t always here the little ding from a message but if he called I hear it or feel it vibrate. He never did, I have ask if he made it home to work and everything else. Nothing from him. I know he seen it .

So now I am wondering what he is doing and what happen. I still wonder what he meant by having his back when he falls or however he put it. His brother is bad news he didn’t want to go to his brothers before because of all he is into and not wanting to be around it get away from it.

I told him a deal on tv’s the store had the other day he was surprised and said he was going to check it out on his way from down south. I thought he was with his mom and them at one of his sisters houses probably. Then he hit me with not having a home and being stuck at his brothers later. I didn’t ask why he was there or what. Last time I know of him being with his brother was when he got shot. So what I mean about not being a good place to be.

I still never asked, I ask him tonight on my way home if he was okay, because he isn’t saying anything now. He still didn’t answer. I also know the other week he was asking for boss at the shops number, well if he had it changed. I don’t know why he wanted to talk to him either. But another not good to be around.

I hate to think like this and go straight to it everytime. But again I wonder if his fall was drugs again? Being with his brother, getting a hold of boss, his job and the people there. I asked him what was going on besides the shower and what he was talking about falling. But no responce. But he will not talk to me about that if he did them again or how long he gone without inbetween. He knows I know he has done them he slips and the other stuff he does or did but that is it and he don’t talk about it a lot. I am scared for him that he is going to end up really hooked with a worse problem than he has right now if he keeps “falling” if that is what he is refuring to when he says that. I think he don’t want me to know because he don’t want me to pull away or turn my back on him. Just like not wanting to tell me things because I would get mad or not wanting me to yell at him. Before that it was the less I knew the better and he just wasn’t talking about it. He was protecting me.

My feelings for him aside he is a good person, he is a caring person, he is a great worker, and just over all an all around decent guy. He is a decent guy who has dealt with a lot of abuse, a lot of hurt, and loss in life. He is a decent guy who suffers from mental illness. He is a decent guy who chose to self medicate in such a bad way. I say suffers from mental illness because he isn’t dealing with it or dealing with it properly.

At this point if we were or are never more than anything but friends I am okay with that. Because he needs that friend that he can turn to when he needs someone. Like Bff said I am always that one he turns to. I know he talks to his ex once in a while but she will not even talk to him a lot of times. That really bothers him too. He really cares about her. But I haven’t turn my back once. I have always been there to answer that out of the blue middle of the night are you up text. Even when he did what he did and left I never really got nasty with him.

The one time when I told him about his type when he said something nasty and about me not being his type. He knows he was in the wrong for what he said and that what I said was true. Other than that i was nice and let it go, told him i thought it be good for him to be at his moms and to work on himself and good to be away from that job.

I just wish even as friends he not just say nothing. Even if he is doing something stupid. I don’t know what to think about him at times. I just pray he really gets his life on track and can truely just leave everything behind and get ahead.  Read the rest of this entry »

{May 16, 2017}   Confused

Hello all not sure how long it will last but for some odd reason my internet is half working. The two computers are partly on line the tv is not and the phones will not connect. Nothing is hardwired in everything runs off of wifi. The kids have been watching youtube all after noon since they got home so I thought maybe it was still on. We tried the tv can’t do anything I tried my phone it won’t hook up. I came in my room tried my computer I can get on some sites and others I can’t. I can’t get to the school site to get information that I need and I can’t get to my mail. I can get on here facebook and youtube and one or two other sites. I am not sure how that is or how long it will last. I need to get on the school site to get information and turn in and I can’t. I am trying to find somewhere to borrow the money to pay it and get gas until the other money I am waiting for comes in. Praying it comes in before the first so I can pay rent and the bills that needs paid.

My oldest wants to send her dad a message on facebook since that is the only way to get a hold of him tell him they need the money that he owes them. I figure he will just block her say it is me trying to talk  to him or what. I told her she could but not to be surprised if that is what he does. I guess we will see. I don’t know if she is going to or not.

I got to get off here Little Bitty has a play at the school tonight that they did not tell use about until last night. Got to get her bathed and ready she has dinner all over her. If I can get back on tonight still I will probably be back, if not it may be a little while.

{April 3, 2017}   Feeling Behind

I feel that I am so far behind on posting and reading on here. I just posted stuff that happen last Wednesday I guess yesterday because it is now after midnight. I have just been so tired lately and then with everything that has been going on for the last week or more. I have a challenge that I haven’t done yet I am going to get to it I promise. Today I thought about a couple post I started writing back in February and didn’t finish and it is already April. I don’t know if or when I will get to them, maybe when the right mood hits.

I am still sore and swollen from the last three days. I thought it would go down some since I slept almost 12 hours straight and everyone else in the house slept 12 or more hours straight last night. I woke up at 1030 and everyone was still sleeping. I went to bed at 11 or a little before and was out in no time. The girls where in bed before that and the boys went to bed when I did. They slept another 20 or so minutes and then started getting up. Little Bitty had came in and got in my bed again sometime in the night or this morning I don’t even know when because I didn’t hear or feel her. I did feel her get up a few times get a drink from her cup by the bed and get back in bed and go to sleep. I was surprised because most time once she wakes up and it is day light forget it she isn’t laying back down.

Father of the year decided to show up tonight, he showed up at 950 PM!, go figure. I wanted to tell him to go home it was to late but I needed to go pay the rent so I let him stay since the kids had slept so late today and were watching a movie. I took his truck and paid the rent since I still need a light for mine.

When I got home I maid everyone go to bed about 11, he finally left. He asked me why my legs and feet where so swollen. I told him from what happen at the school Thursday, going hiking with the school on Friday and standing/walking around the 4h fair all day yesterday. He just said oh your at the school a lot now aren’t you? I said when they need me and I can be. Not like I have anywhere else to be or place to go.

I haven’t talk to my poor friend in days I have been so busy she is probably wondering if I am mad at her. I am going to have to go see her tomorrow when I get out of school. I have to go food shopping too. I am going to be so tired because it is 2 am and I am still not sleepy. I have class tomorrow. Guess I will get caught up on some post.

{March 11, 2017}   Falling Behind

All though I have been getting out and about and getting things done I have fallen so far behind with applications and paperwork that we need to get done. I missed turning in paperwork I thought was in already, I missed turning more paperwork in Wednesday and have more due this Wednesday that I can’t seem to figure out what we are supposed to be doing. I have to get all the scholarships filled out and done so we can all stay in school and not have to worry about that. One I missed doing last year I thought I turned in the papers and didn’t. I think I can still turn them in and get part of it but not much of it. I just finished filling out Big Girls and Big Guys now I have to get Big Boys fixed from this year and fill out for next so that he gets the full amount this time. Thank God he had it from the last two years we have hardly used that has covered what he needed and still has some left.

I have to get on top of all this. If I don’t I am going to have a huge mess. By the time I get home and have time to think about it in the evenings I don’t because I have such a headache that I can’t stand it. I get the kids fed clothes washed and all that and that is it. I feel bad I missed turning papers in for the 4h fair I hope that we still have time to get them in. I just have so much that I have to take care of that I can’t remember it all and keep track of when it is all due. I barely get my school stuff in on time. When I try to sit down to do things everyone needs something or something and I can’t think. I just need someone to keep track of paperwork and dates and getting it all in.

Then I hear how this or that isn’t done or the house isn’t clean enough or this needs to be done, I need to take the kids here there or do this or that with them from Father of the year. But what does he do for them NOTHING, what does he worry about in a day his-self feeding, working, cleaning, taking care of, bath for, getting ready, getting to places, or anything else no one but his self. While I have my self and 4 other people and everything they are in or do and have. I can’t just get up and go to the store to get bread like I need to right now, I have to get 4 other people ready and take with me. I can’t just go to school Monday morning, I have to make sure 4 other people are dress, have lunch, hair brushed, drinks, snacks, shoes, socks, and get to two different schools before I can think about going. I can’t just get out of school spend the rest of the day relaxing or doing whatever I want, I have to pick kids up, take kids to therapy, chicken coop, store for stuff, doctors, feed stores and anywhere else they may need to go. I then get to come home make sure kids walk dogs, do chores, get dinner cooked, make plates, make sure everyone eats, baths, clothes to wash, animals to be walked, feed, played with, homework for kids, rooms cleaned, teeth brushed, then bedtime and of course no one wants to go to bed so I have to deal with that and a kitchen that needs cleaned a house that needs picked up and bathrooms that need done along with floors that need to be mopped.

While he sits around and does nothing, goes to work goes home to do nothing goes to bed gets up in time to grab something to eat and goes back to work and repeats. Don’t come to see them, don’t call but maybe once a week if he needs something, don’t pay what he is supposed to pay. He paid 4 weeks ago told me he had money the next week never brought it, brought money the following week but just for that week not the week before and have seen or heard nothing this week. I guess I am going to have to find time with everything else I already have to do to go down to the child support enforcement office and get them to do something about this mess.

I have no time for myself every and I am so tired of it. When I do I am so wore out I don’t feel like doing anything. I have wasted this day looking for jobs and just doing nothing. It is almost 330 and I have a ton of shit I needed to do like clean the house out and list some things for sale to get them out of the way. I laid the rugs I got in the living room finally last night but they need to be put down right. It was so late I just opened them and laid them out so the kids had somewhere to play. I didn’t bother to move everything around and put them in right. I am ready to just go through the house and start tossing everything out and getting rid of it but I don’t have the energy to.

My Big Boy has been playing with and helping the little kids today to let me look for jobs and see what paperwork needs to be done and get some of it done. Now I need printer paper because it is gone no one knows what happen to a whole pack I had here. We need bread because two went and had lunch and didn’t bother to say there was none left for the other two to eat. I had no clue it was so late because I was doing all this and hadn’t looked at the clock. I think I am going to pick up some stuff at the store for the grill and grill some pork chops and make yellow rice. Let the kids play in the yard with the dogs and their guinea pigs for a little bit.

Then we lose and house tonight just what I don’t need with all I have to do and we want to go to church tomorrow. At least this week has been a easy week for school work. I have two more things to do between now and tomorrow and then one for Monday.

You know it isn’t that I mind doing it or letting the kids do the different things they do or have the animals they have. I never got to do anything at all but go to school and come home or daycare and come home. We were never allowed to have any kind of pets other than a dog and cat. Even them we had a few dogs that were given away a cat that died and then my dog I had to have put down. We couldn’t have hamsters or anything like that. My mom had birds and that was it really. We didn’t have dogs more than a few months or a year but one. We didn’t do riding, 4h, girl scouts, boy scouts or other activities. It just pisses me off that Father of the year has nothing but his self to take care of, child support to pay and supposed to take the kids 6 over nights a month and for a few ours once a day once a week and he can’t do any of it not even pay his part. He said he would help take them to clubs and he has yet to do that one time. That is why we ended up dropping the dog club it was a day that was just bad for me to do it but he was off work and didn’t have anything to do and wouldn’t take them. Have asked him a month or two to help them with the chickens and he has yet to take 45 minute or hour out of one of his THREE DAY WEEKENDS to do it. Yes that’s right he has a three day weekend every weekend and works from 3 pm to 1 or 2 am. That means there is no reason he can’t pick them up from school Friday and drop them back off Monday.

{January 21, 2017}   Got to Love Father of The Year :/

I can not wait to get my money and find a job. I am so over Father of the Year owing me money and shit. They call today and want to know what I need money for. Said they paid the car insurance and water that was over the $200 he was going to give me. Then I got into it with my mom over money because she has given me about $50 the last couple months. Well as far as I knew ex was supposed to be paying her back we talked about it he said he was going to. She informed me that she owes me money and that she is just taking it off what she owes me and it isnt’ fair to him to make him pay it back. Well yeah it is because he isn’t paying like he is supposed to and he isn’t taking the kids like he is supposed to and he isn’t paying as much as he should be to start with. Why should it come out of my pocket when everything else already has until I have no money to make sure things were paid before? And I never asked her for the money and and did not need it. We could have done without it.

She starts about why am I mad and she has done without this and that and they been eating noodles and canned whatever and this and that and how she has had to buy all the food there and buy him food and pay for gas for him to get to and from work and everything else. That is not my problem you look at him and say your a grown ass man go figure out how to feed yourself and get gas for work. He don’t because he knows she will hand it to him. If she wants to give it to him and do without then that is on her. I have also gotten them food the last month or so if they didn’t buy food and things and got just whatever to eat that is not my fault either. She telling me he can’t give me anymore money until the middle of next month and things. He still owes me over $500 plus money every week. He told me he was going to give me gas money the rent money and things like that by the first. She saying he has to have that for this and that and needs to pay her back some of what he owes her and buy food. Well not my problem some of their bills are going to have to get behind or he needs to go borrow some money to pay theirs or what he owes me one. That is all on him not me. She got all mad because I said something about he was supposed to pay her that back and things. Said I don’t care she is doing without and all this. She finally said she was going to go I said whatever I didn’t have anything to say to her anyway.

She calls me back in a little bit and ask me if I can hold on to this money for rent if he gives me the money for rent now. I told her yes, what else am I going to say oh no I’m going to spend it? If I get it now or I get it next week I need it for rent it can’t be spent on anything else. Then I thought the other part of my lights needed paid today and it was more than what he was even supposed to give me for rent. So he wen to pay that and she is saying well I don’t know what you are going to do about the rent now that is the money for the rent and he can’t give you no more until the middle of next month. I’m just like ok whatever, again what am I going to say and I have nothing to say to her. She is the one sitting there someone else is paying all the bills and rent but your worried about being paid back and getting your money back over your grand kids that is fine because having that money in her pocket just so she has her money back is more important than her grand kids having a place to live and things. Because isn’t going to spend it on anything she isn’t not eating or eating what she is because of money. She is because of her fucking OCD shit and her I have everything wrong with me and can’t eat hardly anything at all. I just said I got to go and hung up. I had things to do and had been trying for over and hour to get going so I could do them but she kept calling back why I was trying to get things together and ready and get a shower.

I had enough I need things here and I need the money for rent and things I got my shower got ready loaded my guns up and took them up to the pawn shop and pawned them. I know that I will have my money by this time next month we are supposed to have it the 17 it will probably come before that. I have to pay $50 to get them back on what I borrowed not a big deal. My phone has hardly worked for the last two days as well. I was going to see how much one would cost me since I was due for an upgrade. When I got to the pawn shop the phone store was right next to them. They must of opened in the last year or so because I haven’t pawned anything in a year or more. I don’t think I have pawned anything sine I lived her other than my truck that one time at a different shop.

After I was done there I walked over told her I needed to see what phones I could get with the upgrade I was up for. She looked it up and said I wasn’t due and upgrade. I told her the other one said I was just a month or less ago. She said no it wasn’t showing I was due for one. Then she asked if I swapped phones? I had when Father of the Year gave me that one and it didn’t work I had to switch back to my broken one. She said even though I did not buy one and use my upgrade that when I swap to a different phone it does away with my upgrade and I have to wait 120 days to get another one. If that had not happen I could have gotten one for I thought it was $20 but it was $30. With no upgrade the cheapest I could get one for was $64. I told her I couldn’t do that and left. I went to one closer to my house where I first started dealing with this company forever ago to see what kind of used ones the guy had there I could maybe buy or to see if he could help me some how because he is the owner of the store. If there was anyway to get my credit back or anything he would know and be more willing to help me because I have been going there for so long and he knows me. I just went to the other one because it was right there and I had other things to do. I got there he checked it and said no and that they were trying to fix it so that if something like what happen to me happen they could give you the upgrade that if you were due one it didn’t go away unless you bought a phone but until then there wasn’t a way around it. I forget what he said about a used one. He told me to go to the Best Buy in the mall and buy a phone not from there or one of the other stores. He showed me where the new ones he had for around $80 I could get with my upgrade for $30 but since I didn’t have my upgrade I had to pay the $80. He said but I know they have it for the $25 or $30 and they have these others for the lower price here as well but we have to sell them at these prices unless you have an upgrade then charge for switching it and he said before you know it I have to charge you $100 or more for the same phone you can get over there for $30.
So that is what I done I went over to the mall and found the same one like he said that I was looking to buy for the $30 for that price instead of the $80 he was going to charge me. Then I asked the guy if they charged to switch it over and he said no I just had to know my pin number to the account. I had that so he set it up and swapped it all over for free for me. I would have had to bring it home get someone to let me borrow their phone to call and switch it over if I had bought it from the other guy or paid him the $15 fee to change it over. That saved me the trouble and money there too.

In the meantime when I was headed to talk to the guy at the store I normally use I called father of the year and said something to him about my phone and him not getting the other one turned in and things. I have asked him to just go to the library take 20 minutes and do what they told him to do to get a shipping label to send it back. He has yet to do it in what two or three weeks. Because at this point it took me like 3 tries to even make that phone call I can’t send a text and almost can’t see the screen at all. He just oh I been busy blah blah. I told him I need the phone not only in case something happens but for the internet too. I have to do my school stuff and get it turned in on time. I will get to it I sent you all the information you didn’t do it. I can show right on my phone I do not have one text with any information to fill in and print this out. Then he puts it on speaker and my mom starts. Why didn’t I get the internet hooked up with the other company and i need to pay the other place how they are cheaper and whoever told me what lied they offer this at this price and all that. How he don’t have money to give me and can’t get me a phone. I wasn’t calling to ask him for a phone I was calling because I was pissed off that he does nothing else but he can’t even turn the shit in and get a label so I can send this one back it isn’t going to cost him a dime to do it and he knew this one was really messed up and going to go out anytime and how much I needed it. Still didn’t offer to even do that.

Then I said I had to mail the box back for the one I have and everything. She started about why I hadn’t done that and why I hadn’t called the other company and turned in the paper to get the other service hooked up and how I am and that I could have come there and printed the thing for the phone. I had no gas I told her and that I can’t print something I have no information for. Well I don’t know I didn’t know he was supposed to be printing it blah blah. I said the problem is yet again he does nothing at all he could careless and now I am having to figure it out and fix it. She is telling me to go to the other company and they give free phones. BUt you have to pay your month service and activation fee. It up to about $100 or close to it. She is telling me it isn’t. I said again I was just there a few weeks ago and talk to them about it. I also took a friend to get a phone and it is how it works. Just like the internet service yeah she might be paying one price but guess what I have talk to about 5 different people at the place and they said it is not in my area or that it was a promotional and not for my area. I have been to the store about the phone twice and then took my friend to get hers it’s close to $100 even with a free phone. I think she paid $89 or something. Again my mom don’t know because she got a phone from my sister and had it added to her plan where she pays $20 a month. Then bitching about not getting the other service hooked up for internet. I told her I didn’t because it was a waste of time and money since I could do it from my phone with the internet to my laptop. I only need it for a month or month and half. Then someone was said about me driving after we been on the phone for 30 minutes or more. Your fighting while driving and on the phone blah bullshit? I said yeah I am talking to you all while I am driving have been since before I called I have places to go and things to do I don’t have time to sit and hang on the phone with you all and do nothing while I do. She got all pissed off and said well I got to go call me when your not driving and threw something in there about the rent and not getting internet service and hung up. Why would I go through the trouble of finding everything and printing everything out mailing it in it takes about two weeks to get it sent back and forth then a week or so for them to send the stuff. On top of that I have to then set a time for someone to come out and put a phone jack in because I don’t have one. It will take 3 to 4 weeks to set it up and I only want it for a month anyway. By the time they set it up I will not need it and I will save money like I said doing it this way.

I went got my phone done all the other stuff I had to do and came home. I called him back and told him I had the rent money to not worry about it not that he was anyway. I told him I got a new phone as well. WHAT how did you do that he said. I said I went and pawn my guns since I know I can get them back by the middle of next month. Oh well I guess. I told him it is a crappy phone he still needs to get this turned in because I have lost my upgrade for him telling me this other one worked and trading it over and now that I spent money on this one I can’t buy another one when I get my money. He needs to turn the other one in still and get the new one. I can trade to it and then put this one up in case something happens and it breaks or something and I need one and can’t get it. He says ok but we shall see. Then again of course my mom has to jump in and put her two cents in. Then he is on the phone he said he had to go he was busy or something he could’t talk. I asked what he was doing I wanted to ask him about him seeing the kids or what this weekend. He said eating, I could tell he wasn’t at home I asked here he was he said Sonny’s. I said oh that must be nice to go out to eat when you have no money and leave us sit scrapping to get the things we need and the hundreds of dollars you owe the kids. He didn’t say anything just he had to go he would call back later. I haven’t heard from him and it’s been about 6 hours or more. They have no money can’t afford food but they can afford about $15 a person for one meal instead of taking that $30 and putting food in the house. Why the kids ask can’t we just go to Mac Donald’s for dinner or can’t I just buy lunch at school today I really want to have this or that they are having and I have to tell him no pack your lunch. Knowing I need money to pay the rent that is about half of what I need to pay my rent come the first. But he don’t have it. Sorry son of a bitch that he is. I wish he would just go up north to be with his brothers or go on up farther to be with his friend he talks to and likes so much. If he did I do not think we would hear from him hardly ever and it would be so nice.

Earlier when we were talking about a phone and not having the internet I said I would have to go to the library and that I needed him to come over here with the kids so I could. She started about all this stuff at her house that needed cleaned he messed up and is supposed to help her clean up and they should be done about 1 tomorrow how he always comes over here. I got news for her he is hardly ever over here. I think twice in the last couple months he has been here for a few hours that is it. OTher than that he runs in drops money off or whatever says he has all this to do and has to go. I wanted to say your house is never going to be clean enough for  you because you need help and refuse to get it that is why the kids can’t come over there. Because when you get this whatever mess cleaned up and get done throwing everything away you will have something else that has contaminated your house and it won’t be clean enough for them again. It is nothing wrong with her house but the shit she has in her head and from reading google. Shit that no one else in this world would ever worry about, clean their house top to bottom front to back and throw shit away over. No one at all would, but her. I wanted to say that is fine I am not worried about it but I didn’t. She would wanted to know what I meant by that, I am not saying anything at all but he has not took the kids once sine the divorce, his child support like I said is based on how many over nights he is supposed to have them. He has never come here got them and took them any where or anything else. He runs in here sees them for a few hours or so here and there that is all. That is not what the divorce papers said. And it does not say I have to let him come here just like I told him. But I am keeping track of it all so that when I want to move I can and he can’t do anything about it. He can’t say I want her to stay here because I want to be able to see my kids. I can’t have my kids on the weekend and during the week if she moves away. Because when I go look here judge he has not had them one time or taken them anywhere not one time since the divorce what visits is he talking about? The judges is going to say the same thing and most likely let me go if he tries to fight me on it. He said he wasn’t but who knows. I am not going to worry about it even if he signs the papers when I file them I am turning in all the documentation I have with the paper work showing he has not had them or done anything so if he shows up in court and says anything the judge can say I already see right here you are not seeing the kids or having anything to do with them with them here.

It just aggervates me how he just could careless but then keeps coming around. Then how she gets in the middle of everything. I am going to tell him again and her that she needs to stay out of it all.

{May 20, 2014}   SSI Appointment

I got a lovely letter in the mail Friday informing me that I needed to be at their office bright and early this morning for a appointment for my son. I got us all ready and was trying to get the babies bottle ready and find papers I thought were in the folder. I heard the baby crying so I went to look for her. She was standing by her bed pointing to get in. I had to pick her up and take her to the truck instead. She got very upset. She was tired and wanted to go to bed. We got there and ended up having to wait for 20 minutes or more even though we got there before the doors open and we were first to be seen on the list of appointments. By the time we got back there she was well beyond unhappy. She started crying and fighting I had to stand up to try to hold her and keep her from getting down. The lady looked at me and said you want me to do you a huge favor. I was like yeah sure what is it. She gave me back all my papers and told me to take her home and let her go to bed. She said she was going to call me and do everything by phone. I told her I was sorry but that I don’t have a baby sitter and things. She said I should have called her and told her I didn’t have a sitter and that she could have changed it to a phone interview.

She said when I was there my case was a mess and that it was going to take a while. When she called me she said that they didn’t show where father of the year was staying with us or that I had even had the baby. I don’t know what all she has went through it and fixed a bunch of stuff and we fixed some. She is sending me a copy and helping me with his case because I told her it was up for review. I told her how rude the lady was and that she hadn’t really read the report and laughed at me about my son and things.

She even said autism don’t just go away and that she has seen them deny people that should have clearly gotten help. She told me that she handles all the appeals for this office and to just do what they have me do. She said if he gets denied to call her right a way and turn in the paper work for the appeal right a way. She said I have 60 days to do it but that if I do it with in the first 10 I will still get his check until they decide. If it goes past 10 then he won’t get anything till they decide again.

Like I told her he is doing good in school but he is in a school that is for kids like him. The teacher can sit down and work more one on one with him and things. I have to talk to them at his school because the lady over the school told me he was on level and now I am finding out that he is a year behind. But that isn’t what she put on the report. She told them he was up to where he was supposed to be as well. I didn’t know this until the other day or I could have been working with him and helping him get on track better. So I maybe finding him a different school by next year as well. She has no reason to tell me that he is on grade leve if he isn’t. Only reason I could think of is because she is affraid I would take him out if he wasn’t. But I wouldn’t have. I like the school and thought they were doing good and keeping me informed. But I guesss not. I will look for somewhere new because I need to know what is going on with my kid and what he is and isn’t doing. I don’t like the fact I was lied to. What else are they covering up or lien about.

et cetera
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