The Funny Thing All Guys Think About Child Support

I have noticed a common theme among guys who pay child support. I find it rather laughable to say the least. It also made me stop and think, are they all really that dumb?

It seems that if a man pays child support he thinks the money goes to the mother and the mother rushes right out and spends it on herself, her friends, boyfriend and whoever else maybe around.

They think we spend it going out and partying, trips, our hair, nails and anything else that we feel like while the kids never see a dime of it. I have no idea where they came up with this idea or how they work this out in their heads and even make it make since that this is what we do with it. Because lets face it kids are not cheap. Even the very basics no frills out once in a while or never kind of thing is expensive.

To top it off most these guys are paying next to nothing in all reality for more than one kid and still think this. Like my ex and Jw. For 3 kids they are/were/supposed to pay around $125 a week. So that is $500 a month. So split that between 3 kids that is about $167 a month. Now lets break this down and see of it makes since to you all.

Kids need…

A house

Lights

Water

Food

Clothes

Haircuts

Money for field trips/school

It cost money for

Up keep on a car to take them places gas for it insurance and all that.

They want to buy things here and there

Before I finish breaking this down let me say this, yes I understand I would need a place to live, a car, have a light bill, water bill and things like that even if I didn’t have the kids. But if I didn’t have the kids I could have a smaller place, pay less of a light bill, water bill, spend less on food and things like that. So yes all this needs to be included and factored in. Because I have heard that and from some of these guys and others as well.

Okay now lets break this all down, lets start with rent say $800 a month break that down between 5 people that is $160 each a month. That is $240 his half. Now guy is paying $500 a month for 3 kids giving them each $167 a month. That leaves them each $80 after paying their part of the rent, lights are $20 each so that is $100 each paid now they each have $40 left. Food is $500 a month making it $50 each for food and they are now $10 short of their food budget. We haven’t touched water, school, net, extra things they want to do or anything else. That is splitting the rent it would cost for them in half the amount of the lights in half and everything else. I know that isn’t how they split it but this is what it cost at the end of the day to keep these kids. Even if that isn’t how they figure support. They are getting off lucky because they are not figuring that way. They also do not look at the fact that the one with the kids has no freedom and has to always worry about think about and make sure the kids are taken care of every second of every day why they can go about their day and never even think of their kids for days or years at a time.

So now I would like someone to explain to me how the hell do they think we spend anything at all of their money on ourselves or anyone else but the kids? Even if I or any other mother out there was to go out and have a drink, get our hair colored or went to dinner one night and used the money we got that week as “child support” we are not using your child support. We have already used our money to pay for all the things that our children needed the rest of the week, month or year. Because we can’t just wait for you to pay us before we pay the bills. We can’t tell the owner oh my ex pays support on Friday I will have it by Wednesday so just wait and I will give it to you then. Or the light company I know you want your money on Tuesday but I won’t have it until Wednesday. No I have to go into my pocket and use my money to pay them and skip doing things that I had planed or would like to do. So by the time I get the money you are supposed to give me then I am just getting the money I already spent back. So how are we spending “their” money on anything for us? Your kids have a home, shoes, clothes, lights, food, water and taken care of. Your money has not been spent on anyone but your kids.

Jw, said yeah I thought my ex was spending my money on herself until both my girls told me it went to them to cover all their school trips and things they needed for school. I said how would you even think that? What you pay and the number of kids and how much it cost to take care of them? He said yeah I know now but it is just something you think or feel when your paying it. But I understand what your saying and get it. He said we just don’t think about it the same way I guess.

Like he got mad at his ex because she had to go to child support enforcement. He was paying but not through the court and not the same amount I guess each week or what. Whatever reason she had to go down and get help from the state. I don’t know her if she does it all the time or got in a jam or what it was. I assume she must of lost her job or what the time it was and everything that was going on and didn’t have a choice. He is so mad at her because she agreed that their set up was good and not to go to child support. They had been doing it that way for a long time.

He has said something about it a few times when we were talking. I said to him the other night. I said Honey, how can you really get mad at her for going to them. I said she needed help to take care of your kids and provide what they needed. Instead of sitting there letting them go without she did what she had to do to take care of them and get them what they needed because you didn’t have the extra at the time or she was trying to keep from asking you and do her part or what she had to, to cover her part. If you have to go to them they make you go to child support and do what they want and they make you go after the other parent. If you don’t they will not help you. I said so it really isn’t her fault that they are involved. He just stopped for a minute and looked at me didn’t say anything. He just said yeah got quite after that.

But it is true would he rather his kids do without just so child support don’t get involved?

I don’t see how these guys don’t think about this stuff logically.

Was I Stupid For Thinking

That things had finally turned around and I was going to get things paid up and do a little more than struggle for a while? For being so happy and excited the other day when paying things up? I am starting to feel like I was. Now that I am $600 + under water already less than a week later. I honestly did not see this coming. I thought we were good on making payment and I was getting somewhere. I wasn’t to worried about the $20 extra on the car insurance I was going to swing it and still be okay. But now with the other and Halloween and everything else all hitting I feel like I was slammed back to reality of we aren’t meant to do anymore than struggle to get by or have anything more.

I am short for this week coming up don’t know how I am supposed to pay things or take care of things now. I can’t take another advance to make up for the amount they are pulling out until next Wednesday. That is to late because this is my rent money I need it will be late they will add a late fee and the cycle just keeps going. I know I can get out of it I just can’t figure out how.

I have even looked at trying to get another job to do in the day that pays more but I can’t find anything. Everything pays $10 an hour or less or requires a lot more hours than I have and still don’t pay enough to only work one job. I have even looked for a different night job that would let me just work one job but can’t find anything that pays good enough there either.

A 3rd Job Again

It looks like I am going to have to pick up some kind of 3rd job again for a while. Although I was getting on top of things and had everything but the lights paid up and was making payments on the repair fee’s I was pretty much on top of things. I feel I was as everything I owed was going to be paid up to $0 balance and only have the repair fee’s I would be making payments on and then monthly bills that would be paid on time.

But with this $400 going out unexpected then my car insurance renewing this month and still owing on repair fee’s and needing to do Christmas for the kids. I am starting to sink and fast all in the blink of an eye. Even thought I was caught up for the most part I had not been able to get that savings or cushion to fall back on in times like this built up yet. That was next on the list. To start saving to have a little put away. That is tricky as well seeing as my son gets Ssi. Because I am not supposed to have over $2000 in assists. That includes vehicles, cash on hand and savings. How are you supposed to get ahead or put away for a crisis or emergency, unexpected things in that case? They tell you to have 4 to 6 months of bill money in the bank in case something happens. Even one to two months of money would put me over the limit alone much less having the second vehicle. So then that is going to take money out of the pot each month so then I will have to use out of my savings to make up for it there for not really getting ahead again because I will have to take out every month to make up for what is taken away. I would love to be able to get by without having that money at all and would be happy to just have 2 months of savings in the bank and be able to put so much away to make up if some had to be taken out. But right now that just isn’t the case and to start taking away right away I don’t see how to go about it all.

I am thinking of posting an add on craigslist again looking for a few offices to clean in the evening on Saturday or Sunday. This way I can clean them after the kids go to bed at night on the weekend and gives me leeway between doing them Saturday or Sunday. Whatever night I can get to them. If they are mid size office’s I can get around $75 to $100 and if I could do even one that would help a good deal right now. I don’t want to over load myself and try to do to many. I haven’t crunched numbers but I think if I pick one up at $100 a weekend I would be okay or close enough or get me by. Let me feel some relief and not feel so strapped.

I have thought about doing pizza’s again on Saturday night if she needs me. But that is a lot of wear and tear on my car that I don’t know I want to start putting on this one. I have put a bunch of miles on it already, I don’t need to put more than I have to on it because it is going to start breaking like my truck once I start doing them. The start and go, start and go a 100 miles or more a night is a lot of stress on a car.

If I did an office or two on the weekend I can hopefully find one or two close to home and I just drive there park and drive home. Not running it for hours all night like I would doing pizza’s. Even if I had to go a little further than I would like I hope to go less than 10 miles one way and 20 miles round trip is still better than miles on in all night.

I thought about doing coupons and making holiday baskets and selling them. But I don’t have the money to put out to make them and sell them. I don’t have the $15 or more to put out on newspapers and then buy product to do them and sit on them until they sell. I would need to be buying things now and making them to be able to have a bunch made for the holiday shopping rush right after Thanksgiving up until Christmas. I could put baskets, bags, stockings and things like that together for men, women, and kids. I use to make them for the teachers for the holidays. I would put body spray, lotion, body-wash and things like that in them. Toss in some kind of gloves, socks, towel, washcloth or towel for your hair or other little things for guys. You have a nice gift for a friend, co worker or someone you want to grab something nice for on a budget. Kids you can put one together with coloring books, puzzles, something to read a comic book, markers, crayons all kinds of things just dependent on the age. You can have orders where you put baskets together depending on theme or age.

I seen some nice drawstring bags on line for sale someone had made they were trying to sell that would be perfect that I would love to get but just don’t have the money to put into them. They have a couple 1000 or so and want to sell the lot. I would buy them because I know I would use them and sell them with no problem probably to make things like this. It stinks because there are so many things like this I could make money at but it cost so money to get started. I wish I had not dropped my credit score because I would go to the bank and try to get a lone. For a few grand. Pay the rest of the repair money off and the lights. Then I would buy a bunch of things and make a bunch of baskets and bags up and have them ready and start selling them. I would go ahead and buy Christmas for the kids so that it would be take care of and not have to worry about it.

I could take two grand pay things up spend less than $500 make a bunch of baskets and make back at least a grand or more probably depending on how many I make how big and nice they are and things. I thought about doing pizza’s for a few weeks and no mater what take it and buy supplies and do it. But I know I can’t do it that way I need to be able to get a bunch at one time and it would cost me money in gas and I’m not able to know I am going to make a good enough chunk to make it.

Figuring Out How To Pay

I think I have figured out how to pay. I was going to ask at my night job if they could give me a lone and let me pay it back $50 a week. But the owner is out of town until Tuesday.

I had the thought of my friend The one that Father of the Years new wife was living with before she came to stay with me and ran off with him. He has some money now he got that was owed to him. I was going to ask him if I could borrow it but had to figure out when I could pay him back so I could give him a date. If I could pay it weekly or one lump on x date. I didn’t want to short myself and put myself in a whole.

I also had to figure out how to do Christmas for the kids because $400 out of my budget plus and extra $200 from it this month coming up for car insurance to renew that is $600 that I don’t normally put out then needing to take out for Christmas as well.

I sat at work last night and redone my budget ( I may not have told you but I set up a budget on paper) because I had to adjust somethings. It runs from Wednesday to Tuesday because I get paid from my night job on Wednesday and my day Job on Friday or Saturday just depends if the guys are here to pay me at the end of the day or pay me before they head out. It just seem like I should set my budget up that way. But I was figuring somethings wrong because even though I knew it was Wednesday to Tuesday somethings I was still trying to budget Friday to Friday a few things I forgot to add on there and had them filed under misalliance it wasn’t working. Others I had listed to pay monthly when I needed to pay them weekly because I don’t always use them and pay different depending if I do or not. But last night I finally got it where it needs to be.

I had already figured if I came up short and needed extra money I could pawn my guns but I needed to know when and be sure I was able to get them out with in a month or two. I can’t pay on them a year like I did before. I was thinking I could pawn them and get enough money to pay the rent up but then I didn’t know how I would pay Christmas if I was going to have enough. I wanted to have them put up in order to use for Christmas just in case because even though I am on track and getting everything taken care of starting to get ahead I am still in that spot where I am not coming out with much money left at the end of the week/month. I had already thought I may have to pawn them to help with Christmas.

I figured out if I borrowed the money I could pay it all back in November but would probably have to pawn them to get Christmas. I figured my budget into the middle of February and if I did I may have to pay January and get them out in February. Still make the bills.

The guy I work with said something about being board and I said yeah I have done my budget up through February. He said oh yeah your really bored. I told him what was going on.

He said ask the boss, they are really good about things like that. I said that is why I asked yesterday when the owner would be back. He said call him he is available by phone for things like that. Or boss can approve it as well give him a call. I told him I would talk to him today when I got in. He said I could pay it back like $50 a week or so. I may ask them if they could take out $30 a week. it take about 14 weeks to pay back. So about the 2nd week of January. I am going to try to pay it back sooner but if I can get them to $30 a week it would give me a cushion and I could pay the extra the other weeks once I get past the first two weeks.

I think I am going to go that route if he says no tonight I am going to have to go see my friend and talk to him after work tonight hope he has it and will do it. I may be able to ask him if I can pay it back after Christmas or give him $100 a month instead of all of it in a month or $200 a month. I may ask them at work if they can do $100 a month as well and then do the extra but only have myself on the line for the $100 a month in case.

I asked the guy at work if they approve it if I had to wait until Wednesday when I get paid to get it or if they can get it to me sooner. He said he will just give me a money code like we give the drivers when they call in and you just go to the truck stop and cash it. So I can stop there after work tonight get the money and stop at the other store and pay the rent with it.

I better get off here and get something done at my day job. I need to clean and make my phone calls. It is slow today and I am the only one here. I just want to sleep my coffee don’t seem to be helping. Been stressing over all this crap I hope he can do this for me tonight.

I Almost Cried

Yesterday after the awards at the school I left and I went and paid the water bill and the internet bill. I paid them both down to $0. I still have the light bill to pay on next week but when I do it will also be paid down to $0 balance.  The water bill was late the light bill will be on time. On time and paid in full!

I know that probably don’t sound like a lot to you all or your saying yeah so lots of people do that all the time or what. But for me that is a big deal and to know that I did it on my own, without having to borrow, or use my tax money, or money I got from here or there it huge.

In the last 7 years me and the kids were homeless two years in a row for Christmas. We got into this place March of 2014. Although we have had a place it has been a struggle to keep it and keep bills paid. Much less other things we need. I have worked two and three jobs at a time and just staying a step ahead from sinking. Get a step or so ahead or think I was and get knocked back down.

I don’t think I have had a $0 balance on my bills since I started services there 4.5 years ago. Other than if I got my tax money and was able to pay them up and then they were up there again in a month or two because I wan’t making enough to pay them off each month. I would shuffle money around to keep things going. Final notices got paid and everything else got shuffled until the magic letter came in the mail. Then I would have to borrow to get keep them going at times or we would do without other things or scrape by.

I was so happy and excited I almost cried when I paid the water bill it showed a $0 balance. It is so discouraging to pay it have them hand you the receipt and it have a balance on it over $100 and you just handed them $200 or more.

Needless to say my excitement quickly faded when I got to work and oldest messaged me and said oh did you get the note that was on the door yesterday?

I had no idea what she was talking about she sent me a picture it is a three day notice to pay or get out. I owe them $400 for “repairs” Because I have to pay $75 every time they have to send someone out. 99% of the time it is for the plumbing that they have been told over and over has a busted pipe. But they will not pay someone to check it out. They say I have to do that. I don’t have the money. So when it won’t drain at all I have to do something I call them they send their man he cleans the line and it drains for a bit and we do it over. If I have the money i pay it and when I don’t it sits there. Rent is paid on time every month has been for a while because it is the one thing I have no play with when it gets paid why everything else gets shuffled around. They can’t put me out over anything other than rent but they I guess took my rent money and put it on my fee’s so it shows I am behind on my rent. Since I paid by their card not a check or money order there isn’t much I can do about it. If I pay by check or money order and write for rent they can’t use it for anything else. Since it is on the card they can do what they want because it isn’t marked. But I have always done it like that and if it was paid on the first they just took it as rent. I have been paying $75, $25 a $100 extra a month but I don’t have it all I talked to them and that was fine because I gave them a chunk upfront. But then I had to call them since and they have a hair in their ass about something they did this and didn’t even say they were changing things up or nothing just come stick a note on the door. Now i am trying to figure out how to pay it before TOMORROW. If I had known I could of probably waited to pay those bills had a chunk of it now I paid them I don’t have any of it. If I get paid tomorrow that is food money and lights. I was going to ask my boss at my night job but he is out of town until Tuesday so that don’t help. I can probably get by until Monday but after that I will be in Trouble they will be back Monday if I don’t pay it that morning. Then it will cost more they add fee every time they have to come out there or what. I don’t know what I am going to do. Even if I worked doing pizza’s this weekend I won’t make near that much. I don’t know who else to ask to borrow it.

I am probably going to have to pawn my guns and then I am going to be in that cycle that I can’t get out of for a while end up costing me a ton of money in the end. I was feeling so good and so accomplished. That I was making progress, real progress I was going to have all the bills paid up and then be able to pay that $400 up. But it was costing me more to not pay the bills up first vs paying the rent up and I had made arrangments and was making payments. I was going to start paying extra to pay it up faster since I had bills paid up and wasn’t paying so much on them and late fee’s. I will work it out but I don’t know how and it feel knocked down and defeated again and like all my work was for nothing if I can’t come up with this last little $400.

It Has Been A Long Day

And night so far. At least it is only 10 minutes til 10 pm and I only have two hours left. I could of left at 9 or 10 but with only getting 7.5 hours here last week I need all the hours I can get. My work was done before 9 so I have been bouncing back and forth between my desk and outside. Watching netfix and listening to YouTube on my phone. I am sitting here outside listening to music and writing this on my phone.

Like earlier it is such a nice night I want to be just about anywhere but here. I haven’t been able to just sit there at my desk tonight. It was hard sitting at my desk all day today even with work to do. I am sitting out back watching the trucks come and go and get loaded. Its been a pretty quiet night other than the ones calling in to cry about having to work, their co drivers or what they are having to do.

This day has just been one of them dragging take forever to pass kind of days. I don’t know what it is but it feels like 4 hours have passed and it’s only been 10 minutes if your lucky. It is hard not to leave now and go home. But I wouldn’t be doing anything but that going home to lay in bed and not be able to sleep. May as well sit here and work.

My mind is all over the place today. I am hungry and have less than $10. I get paid tomorrow for my whopping 7.5 hours. My check Friday was a whole 14 hours. I had rent to pay last week. This week I am hit with what, lights and car insurance. I am supposed to be able to delay it and for some reason I can’t.

I want to go get food but I don’t want to use the extra gas or spend the money. I could eat whatever they had for dinner when I get home. But I dont feel like messing with it at 12:30/1a.m when I finally get there. I just fall in bed and try to sleep.

I messaged Mr. Responsible was going to see if he lend me a few dollars until Thursday or Friday and being me some food. But then didn’t ask him, I know he hasn’t had a lot and probably missed work too. Even if it was his last few he would give it to me because that is just how he is. I don’t want to short him for the week. I will just shuffle things around and try to take a little out tomorrow.

Oh great I have Mr. 8’s birthday this week too I knew I was forgetting something. I know it is just not thinking about the money coming out this week. Maybe I wont pull any out. Good thing I didn’t borrow any. I will make it work I always figure it out and make do.

A Week of Monday’s

I do not know where this week went, I went to bed Monday and woke up it was Friday is how I feel. All the days in between were all a Monday’s something had to happen everyday.

Monday was just a bust because after giving everyone Friday off I had to take 2 hours off. I had to go to an IEP meeting then deal with child support. Got to work an hour late left an hour early. Was late to my second job from there.

Tuesday I open the door at work and lights are on I was trying to figureout if someone was there still or they had left. All of a sudden I start tripping over something and kicking something around. I yelled shit! Before I even thought. All of a sudden the one owner came running in. He had his dog there the day before and had sat a bowel of water back out of the way for her. I left early so I didn’t pick it up. He forgot about it when they left they don’t use the door it was by. He forgot I do I think or just meant to pick it up. It was under my feet and I was kicking it around, it spilled all over. I couldn’t get it from under my feet. I finally got around it. He was like I’m so sorry I forgot it was there and left it. I’ll clean it up don’t worry about it. So he did that while I was opening and clocking in.

Wednesday I go in I am running late but still on time. I woke up at time I should of been leaving. I stopped at the store for my coffee and water and needed gas. I realised I left my bank card at home. The only money I have is the change in the truck. So I was between work and home and running late. I had to decide to go back or go to work. I grabbed my coffee and went to work. I didn’t want to be late. I asked them at work if I could take $50 until the next morning for gas and to grab something to eat on my way to work. It was our night we went out too and I needed money. I told him I walked out without my bank card I have it the next morning. He said it’s almost pay day don’t worry about it we can take it out of that. That is what we did.

I was going to do my hair, make up and put on a cute outfit too. But I woke up at 9:28 had to be at work at 10. There was no way I could not take a shower so that’s all that go done.

 

This is how I felt like I looked. Not being able to sleep at night is really starting to get to me. I don’t know what I am going to do. I think I need to get back on my meds.

Thursday Thursday I had to go to the bank, water department post office and to pay a bill. Everything is in our down town area but the bill I needed to pay. I went took care of everything but the bill because they weren’t open. I tried to call and pay it and it ddeclined my card 2x. I am looking at the money I have in the bank it shouldn’t. I take time between jobs to run out of my way to pay it and it declines again. The guy there I know said it’s your bank they will not let you make this kind of payment with your card. I have to go pay them today because I couldn’t run all over town and go back.

Friday I laid down after I drop kids at school and woke up with 20 minutes to be at work. I got dressed stopped at the store I go to in the morning. I had to get my coffee not getting it isn’t an option. I get it get a few other things and sit it on the counter. I pay the lady reach over to get my change and knock my coffee over. It spills everywhere, counter, floor and just missed meme as I jumped back. There was a line full of people it almost got some of them. The lady behind me said I was watching and I still can’t figure out how that happen. I don’t either. I got another coffee and finally made it to work 7 minutes late.

Just a week of Monday’s.

 

 

Money Spent

I have spent so much money the last few weeks, it is unreal. I spent a bunch on gas and things running Sleeping Beauty the other week and since just here and there at the store with the kids. I spent about $85 two different times in a few days at the store with the kids. The first time was on things we needed soaps and things for the house. The second time I don’t know I bought a plant that was on sale for $1.88 and ended up spending over $13 on a hanging pot for it. I bought outdoor candles for me and Bff but they were only $3 I think. I think I let the kids get a few things I don’t even remember. I also had to get Big Boy get stuff for a class project.

then I spent a bunch in food out between me taking Bff to breakfast, then going out on Wednesday and milkshakes and things. Money out last night even though last night was only about $8.

I just been in a I don’t care mood I will make more. I have to stop because I have to pay bills and things. I had saved some money but now I am getting low again. Then having to take the dog to the vet and now needing a new phone.

I have to get a new truck in a few weeks I have to be able to save that money and find something. I just need to save over all again and start caring because I am going to be making a decent amount of money and can do what I need to do I don’t want to just keep blowing it and not get things done that need done. I still have to file and get my tax money back as well. If I play my cards right I should be able to get all my bills paid up and buy the little truck I want and the 7.3 Excursion I want. I have been seeing the Excursions cheaper and cheaper lately.

I will be able not only have time to do things with my kids but money to do things when I have the time. I should be able to have money saved as well to fix things and take care of things.

I just have to get over this last little hurdle or whatever it is and pick things up and get a plan in place and put it in action.

And Just Like That

They are taking taxes and my phone bill. I went to work this morning and the one owner was there, he told me they were putting me on the books now. He would print the papers and have me fill them out next week. He said he was going to put my start date as the 2nd of this month. He said I would still get paid weekly and it could be put right into my bank.

I had set a bunch of appointments for them today, 9 all together. About 3 more than normal. Half way through the day the other text me and told me our knife guy was coming and ask me to give him $100 out of my check and that he was leaving us three more knives. They paid me before they left incase they didn’t get back in time to. They said they would be back in enough time to give it back to me.

I messaged him back from my text app I use when I have internet. He ask if I had a new number. I told him no my phone was just off for a bit, I could get calls and text just not call or text out.

I never heard anything back and went on about my day trying to get work for them for Monday. I asked them this morning before they left where they wanted to go Monday since our one place cancelled? The one was like I don’t know and was asking the other. Then he looked at me and said why are you asking us your the boss your supposed to figure it out and tell us what we are doing or where we are going. We don’t know where we want to go or need to go. The other said this area and that is always fun we haven’t been in a while.

I said okay I think I can make that happen we haven’t been there much. I will get on it. Well then I had to make a list because I made it for that area before and the computer did something and it was all gone. I forgot about it. So I started my calls late and was just finishing when they came in at like 4. Most the time I am done way before 4 because you can’t get people or an answer after about 3. They ask you to call back or say no one is here so no.

They came in I said 99 calls later and no one wants to see you all Monday but some do Wednesday. He said okay no big deal thats good we still have work backed up here we need to get done.

Then in a minute the other owner walkes in and they were talking in the shop and one of them said do you need a phone?

I said I have the phone it is just off I haven’t been able to pay it. I will next week.

He said we have one that is just sitting there no one is useing. He said I am sure they would rather us hook it up and keep it than turn it off. It is on the business account. He said we will hook it up and pay that take care of the monthly bill for you. He said since we are putting you on the books and they are going to take taxes and things out on you. I said okay if you want that would be great. He asked what kind of phone I was using? I said just an Android. He said because it is an iphone s7plus or something like that. I said that’s fine. He said okay we will get it all switched and taken care of. He went to leave and came back, said if you need a phone now you can message us one of us will meet you over at the AT&T store this weekend and set it up. I told him I work 9 to 7 tomorrow we could just do it Monday or Tuesday. They are at the shop Monday and local Tuesday anyway. I haven’t had one all this time two days aren’t going to make a difference. Not when one day I will be at work all day anyway.

I wasn’t sure if I could trade my number over or not because my phone is off. I had ask them if I could put my number on that phone he said he thought so they didn’t care. Later I thought about it being off most places won’t let you. I called two AT&T stores and one said yes one said no. I called boost to see how long before I would lose my number and see if I could get them to turn it back on for a few day. Sometimes they will if you normally make your payment and things. I asked her if they had a cheaper plan than the one I am on. She said they have a daily plan for $3 a day for full service. I figure I will call Sunday night or Monday morning before we go. Then it will be on they should have no problem porting it over. I really don’t want to lose my number and start over I have has this number for 9 years everyone has it. There are so many places I would have to change it with and so many that would get missed. It just be much easier.

But that is great that is one bill I will not have to worry about. Even though they are taking taxes out it will even out pretty much and I will kind of come ahead. I will have a much better not broken phone and much better unlimited service. I will be buying a case asap for it for sure.

I still want to ask for a raise because I do a lot there and minumu wage just went up too. But now I can’t ask for as much so I have to reevaluate and decide what seems fair.

My Dreaded Text Message

I got a text today that has my anxiety and stress levels up. I keep trying to talk myself down and tell myself it will be okay. But I know what is to come and there is no amount of pep talk or not thinking about it that will bring it down. Anytime I think about it, I feel my jaw tighten. I catch myslef thinking about it when I am doing other things even. Before I know it I realize I am thinking more about it than what I am supposed to be.

I received a message from the women asking me if I could work any days this week she is really short handed. As soon as I seen it in my head I was yelling no, no don’t do it, tell her none. Why half was saying you have to we have all this stuff do this week we couldn’t pay and now it and more this weekend.

I finally told her I would do Thursday and Friday and let her know if I could do Saturday Friday night. See if I am making money and how bad my anxiety/stress is. I really have a hard time and struggle when I do this job. It isn’t the job it is the fact of not being able to see. Before i only had an hour or two after dark of work. Now with the time change it will be dark when I start so the whole night will be a struggle. It is back roads no lights can’t see the house. Numbers and things. I just feel sick even after sleeping on it.