{May 7, 2019}   Still No Breaks

I am at my first job and still do not have my truck back. The breaks still are not done because the guy lied and never came to do it. So now I am stuck again. I don’t know what I am going do. My boss here the other one said he could come do it but not until this weekend. I need to get to work all week and things to do. I don’t know what I am going to do. I need to get there and back tonight. I have called everyone that I know. I even asked my good friend he is busy. I called bff and asked her to ask her brother if he would come do it, how much he would charge me and how soon he could get them done for me. I am waiting to hear back from her. But I have two hours before I get off and have to head to my other job. I am sitting here ready to cry. I been fighting not to cry all day. I have looked up shops no one will come out, I have looked up people who say they will come to the house but haven’t heard back from them. I have went through everyone that I know and no one knows anyone or they can’t get to it for days. I can not miss anymore work. I can get through and make shit happen as long as it don’t involve my truck. If I have my truck everything is okay, it goes down and I am sunk and can’t do anything. I messaged the guy that trains me and asked him if he knew anyone that knew how to do it and would come out to the house and he hasn’t answered back. I keep saying I don’t know what to so that is all I keep thinking over and over in my head what to do, how to do it, who to call, how to get to work, how to get home. I never feel so disparate and helpless as I do at times when I have no way to get places and get things done.

{May 6, 2019}   Sure They Are All Talking

Mr. Auto called me over the weekend and I was busy and just didn’t feel like talking so I didn’t answer. He called me this morning when I was getting up to take the kids to school and I messaged and told him I was getting them ready I would call him back. I dropped the kids off and called him on my way to the bus stop.

He asked what I was doing.

I told him I was walking to the bus and he asked why. I told him my truck was down and I was trying to get it fixed but it had been down since last weekend. He said he could pick me up. I said it didn’t matter if he had time and was close felt like it. If not not a big deal I would take the bus. You never know where he is or what he is doing. Half the time he calls me says you just pass don’t wave or I honked at you and you didn’t even look or I seen you go by. He is always running around like me. He said he wasn’t far he come pick me up.

Then he was telling me he had repo’s he was going to see if I wanted to do or what. He had some to check on. I said well lets go, I don’t have to be at work for two hours. You have and hour. He said no he had this or that. I said you said it was on your list of things to do this morning so your right here lets get it. So then he pulled over and said here drive why I get the paperwork figured out. We went around to look for it didn’t find it. The girl left to take the kids to school we think. I was going to wait a few minutes go back he said he didn’t think she was going to come back because she was hiding from him. He said to go over to the island. I said I thought we were going here or there. He said no just go over to your job I can drop you off there if you want. He was calling around to see if he could find someone to fix the truck and get it done today.

He left and in a little bit called me back and said he stopped talked to one guy he wanted this much to do it but it had to be towed over there he couldn’t get him to come to the house and do it. I said I don’t have that he said I didn’t ask you that I said I will get it taken care of. Then one of the other guys he was trying to get a hold of called him back he called him we were both on the line. He said he could do the work and get the parts for $190 and do it right now. I could have it back in an hour or so. Mr. Auto told me to call my “boyfriend” run it by him and make sure it was okay and call him back. We all hung up. He called me back in a minute.

The guy gave him his rate and he is paying for the labor until I can pay him back later. He didn’t want him to know he was paying for it though, so he wanted him off the phone so we could figure it out and if the other guy was better deal or what. When he called me back he said the other guy is going to do it for half that in labor. I said but we need it towed how much is your guy going to charge to tow it? or what do you pay for towing because I don’t have towing? He said this or that if he can go get it and then parts what I could get parts for and then the guys labor. I said so it comes out to about the same. But will the other guy go pick it up since he has a tow truck and include labor in that price? He said he didn’t know he would find out he would send him to get it. I said but I have the key. So I had to get Pops here to take me back to the house to drop the key off. I called told him the key was in it. He told me to drop off the money for the parts someone else was going to do it. I said what? He said he was going to do it and then come get me to pick it up.

This is one of the guys that worked at the transmission shop with me and then worked at the car lot some with me. I really don’t want him working on my truck and always had one of the other guys up there do it if something needed done. But I am stuck so I have to go with what I got. He done it then said he couldn’t bleed it without a computer because it had no fluid in it at all. He said I could drive it and it would bleed out the more it was driven but it was bad enough still he wouldn’t drive it like that. So now I am waiting for his buddy to get off work so he can get a computer and come and fix it. he said he gets off at 4:30 he would meet him right there close to the house get it do it and they would bring it to me at work and pick me up so I can go to my other job. But he is one of those that will say something then not hear from him so I don’t know.

I am so stressed and sick right now from this and all the stuff going on with my house. It is 4:20 right now and I am waiting to hear if he got the machine or is on his way to go get it. I want to message him but I don’t want to bother him.

On top of everything he has Sleeping Beauty with him now because he went and picked him up after he got done with my truck so they could go get another car for Mr. Auto. Then he had to say something to Sleeping Beauty and of course the other one when he called me about the computer and the truck and all was talking about them and what was going on with him and BFF. I rather him not be in the middle of it and everything but now they are. I figure he is going to say something about it. I am going to tell him just like I did before you owe me it is a hour or less job you could of done but you come off with you want paid. He said that I could of punched him right in his head had he been in front of me. I was so mad. I knew when I didn’t respond the first time it would come up again.

I am sure the three of them have been talking and saying who knows what they are a group of guys. But at this point I don’t care. Mr. Auto told him earlier why was he helping me with my truck when he should be or something. Then he said when the two of them came back later together he told him they better come back not to leave me stuck. Said they said yeah they would. They are all like a bunch of over grow 13 year old oh she talking to this one they must have something going on, then your talking to them you must be doing something with them. or that one is talking to you they are just trying to this or that.

{May 1, 2019}   Can I Cry Now

I had no idea how I was going to get to work this evening when I got to my job this morning but at least I was here. I thought of my friend that has the barber shop a few miles from where I am now so I called her. She closes at 5 I figured maybe she would do it if I gave her gas money. She said she could and I sent her the address. Now it is 20 minutes before I am supposed to leave and head down there and she just messaged and said she forgot that her cousin that is living with her had to be somewhere right after work today she can’t do it. Now I am calling everywhere trying to find a ride.

I finally called my sister and she is going to take me. I can’t believe this shit, I just need my truck fixed so that I can get where I need to go. I have to go to an appointment in the morning I had no idea how I was going to get there or to work because I can’t take the bus there. If I do I will get there about time for me to be at work. I finally broke down and asked Pops here if he would give me a ride and run me there before work. He said yes, I just hope nothing happens or he don’t forget. He means well but things happen.

I got here to my day job early and the one owner came in he was surprised I was here so early. He asked if everything was alright? I told him yes my truck was down I was taking the bus and walking to get here. He said oh no asked when I was getting it back or what was wrong. I just told him that I didn’t know because I had money for parts but not labor I was trying to figure it out. He said something and said let him see what he could do or if he could figure something out.

The other owner came in later ask how things were going and what was going on. We were talking about things here with the shop and things. He went to leave and asked about my truck. I told him yeah it was done I was trying to figure out.

Later he came back in after they got back from being on the road and said he called a friend of his that works on cars and was trying to get a hold of a couple of others that he knew to see if he could get something done. He said but it probably wouldn’t be until the weekend. I told him that would be fine I didn’t figure it would be before that anyway at this point but I needed it back by Monday. That I didn’t have a problem getting here just my other job and I was going to lose it if I mess because of it being down. I said I would walk if it was closer but it is just to far take to long. I told him I walked here Monday. he said what, why didn’t you call me? How far is it? I told him. I said it was just not a good day I needed the walk. I had planed to catch the bus but I didn’t’ see any and then the one I finally seen was going the wrong way.

The guy at my other jobs daughter is picking me up and taking me home in the evenings this week. I am going to ask her if there is anyway she can take me the next two days as well if I pay her. I don’t know where I am going to get the money to pay her but I have to know I have a ride and that it isnt going to back out.

{April 28, 2019}   So This Happened


So me and oldest backed out of the driveway to go shopping for the week for them and I almost do not stop going backwards. I try pulling forward and again not stopping. I wait for cars to go around me get from behind me everything and pull back into the yard. Get out to find it gushing break fluid.

I get under it and look to find

the caliper leaking all over. I just walked away. I walked up to the store got the things we needed for the night and tomorrow. Then we came home I found

This the break laying in the street. I have no idea what I am going to do. I should be ahead and I’m not. I am going to be even further behind and sunk because I have no way to fix it and no one to fix it if I had money for parts and labor. I had to buy a washer a drier, have had both dogs to the vet bought a tire, paid and paid to get bills caught up. I can walk the 5.5 miles to my day job but I have no idea how to get 20 miles to my night job and 20 miles home. I can’t fix my truck for a few weeks because I have rent and things to pay. I won’t have it then if I can’t get to my 2nd job and lose it. I will be sunk because it is where I am making more money.

I have been doing so good with my depression even with all the extra things that have been happening because I knew I was going to still be okay and get ahead. Now this is bad really bad I have no idea what to do. Other than cry. I can’t ask bff because she is working and she dealing with her own crap right now she is hardly talking to anyone. She working when I have to be at either job. I really don’t talk to anyone else.

{August 18, 2015}   Walking Yet Again

Went out yesterday to take care of some things only to end up walking home 10 minutes after leaving the house. I stopped to get gas in the front of the neighbourhood. I got back in the truck started it and stepped on the break to put it in gear, I noticed when I did it felt funny. But wasn’t really thinking about it. I pulled up to the stop so I could pull out on the street and when I stepped on my break it went to the floor. There is like a little hill or slope there so the truck stopped we didn’t roll into the road. I put it in park and tried the break a couple more times and nothing just air and straight to the floor.

I slowly backed up and got it over to the side into a space. There was no way I could drive it home even at that point. If I hadn’t been just barely rolling along it wouldn’t have stopped at all. I had to wait for it to stop on it’s own.  Thank god I had a stroller in the back for my little bitty. We walked over to the plaza to the part start to see how much parts were. We thought it was the master cylinder. They $139.99 and had to order it. I called around and got prices on the way home and found it way cheaper somewhere else. I just didn’t have away to get there. Well I called father of the year and told him the truck was stuck up there because I needed to get it out of there before it got towed by another company and I couldn’t get it back.

They let him go and pick it up after the call he was on and bring it home since it was only a few blocks away. When we got it here and checked it all out it is the main break line that runs the frame body. He bought the parts I was surprised and brought them over to fix it. Got it all together today and it is still doing the same thing. My friends husband came over and looked at it, he said the tool to flare the ends of the pipe was messed up so it didn’t do the flare right. He took the tool to trade it out for a new one since it is his. We can’t do that until tomorrow so now I am three days without my truck.I am so stressed I can’t call anyone about a job or go see about any if they call me because I have no ride. He was off today and tomorrow if it don’t get fixed tomorrow who knows when I will get it back.

I had to walk to the book store today to get a code and book for the classes I am taking. They started yesterday and I have stuff due by tomorrow evening. I was going to get them yesterday and that happen. Thank god it isn’t far. It only took me 25 minutes to walk up there get the stuff and walk home.

I am so tired of walking I just want it to be fixed and not have to worry about it any more. there is another one or two lines about to go on it as well. I don’t have money to get them. I paid the bills today and have nothing left. My friends said he had some line at the shop he is going to get and bring tomorrow when he brings the tool back so I don’t have to buy it. They have it laying around from other jobs they do because you have to buy it in sticks of so much.

et cetera
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