{November 15, 2018}   Have to Let You Go

Yesterday I get to work call around find somewhere to see the dog because she needs to go to the vet. Then I get started on my work for the day. I walked up front for a minute and when I get back to my desk I seen I missed a call from my other job.

I called back and he proceeded to tell me that they no longer need me. The owners are coming in again to work and they are broke no money and all this. I said something about all the new people they just hired he said they were going to get rid of them too. Or some of them. I guess owners are going to open and he is having to close. They know I am not leaving my job to come close all the time and never know if or how many hours I am going to get. I pick my last check up tomorrow.

It sucks because they knew I needed that money and that I was planing to work there even with this job for a while. Now it could mess things up at my new job. I have to find somewhere working evenings at least 20 hours a week just to make up what I am not making at this job. It is not like I can say forget this job and just get something else 40 hours a week because most places are not hirering 40 a week. Most are all part time or no promised amount.

My friend told me about the call center where she works but it is so far away. I could go there get full time days. But I know with call centers that can last a few months, weeks or a year. You never know. They tell you they have work then the next day or week later tell you oh lost the contract or didn’t get it today is your last day.  So for part time it might be okay but to count on it isn’t.

I am going to take this weekend to regroup and figure out what to do or where to go. Right now maybe I can get something to work through the holidays with places looking for holiday help. Then figure out from there.

Just pisses me off I went in all the time for them and everything else take two buses and walk miles to get there and this is how they do. But oh make sure you give 2 weeks notice but they call up say don’t come back we don’t need you.

I was sitting there at my desk as I hung up pops came back and was showing me something. I was so upset I was almost in tears. He looked at me he said what is wrong? I couldn’t say anything…. All I could think was the water and car insurance that is due this week and the $100 or more vet bill and that I have maybe a $100 in my pocket for it all. I get paid but then still have other bills and things to be paid food that needs bought where is that money going to come from now?


I said I just got fired. That was my boss on the phone. He said what oh oh no. He said you needed that job too right? I said yes. He said it’s okay we will help you some how. We will figure something out. He said D will help you I am going to talk to him and see what he can do. He kept saying it will be okay we will figure it out. D can help you some how. D is his son who is part owner.

There really isn’t much he can do. There really aren’t anymore hours to get. Maybe 5 more if I came in at 9. But most places don’t open until 10 around so we probably wouldn’t do anymore buisness opening an hour earlier. The places I call most don’t open til 10 so I couldn’t get a jump start on that on the day. I thought about asking if I could get at least 20 there but don’t see where it would help or benefit them.

I think I am going to sit down tomorrow ask them if they are happy with me and make sure this is a permanent thing. Just tell them what happen that I have to find something if some reason they feel it is not working or not going to be permanent to please let me know. That opens up more jobs if they are not going to keep me. I am sure they are going to they say all the time what a great job I am doing and pop tells me how happy they are with me. They said today or yesterday that if they stay busy all week like I have kept them so far they are not going to work Saturdays unless someone special request. They are training a new sharpener to go on the road during the week as well to help them out.

I figure maybe they will say they can give me a raise maybe to help. They said start at x and chance for raise but no set time for that like 30, 60 or 90 days. If they really are that happy with my work and I am getting them that much more business then maybe they will go ahead give me one. Being new to all this having an employee and not knowing what kind of person your going to get or what kind of work they are going to do I can see waiting and giving a raise later.

Also see they may know of some places or someone looking for help. With them being out on the road all the time and knowing others that own businesses and things. They can keep an eye out why they are out local.


Guess I am going to walk up there and see what I can findout about my truck since I have still heard nothing about it. I am guessinng they aren’t going to mess with it. But they could just say that instead of letting the day waste and me wait. I could be looking to see what I can findout or trying to find someone to help me.

Its so freaken hot out and its probably two to three miles away. I don’t mind walking or walking that far, but when it is this hot out it kills me. I need something to drink so have to go out anyway. I want a shower but figure no use until I get back. By the time I get a block or two up the road you wont beable to tell I even had one. I just like to get one when I get up.

More worried about how to get this truck done or to and from everywhere I got to go if I can’t. Work is 25 minute drive each way. Hard to get rides out there. Very hard to get rides back the hours I get off and not knowing for sure what time I will get off. No one works with me at night so can’t ask them. Such a mess.


{November 14, 2017}   Why Do We Spend Money

When we don’t have it and are worried how to pay everything and when we are going to get more? It seems like the more I think about not having money the more I want to spend. I hadn’t really spent any on stuff we didn’t need but could of waited on some I am sure. Then last night I went to the store with a friend to get milk, juice and that kind of stuff. I ended up spending $30, I don’t even know what I spent it all on, I know I bought make up and a $1 dress up dress for Little Bitty. I figured it to be about $35 but it came to $30 so that was good at least. I don’t know why I wanted make up I hardly ever wear it and have not had any decent make up since me and R.C broke up. The make up I had when we were together I had, had for years it is no wonder it all broke up and was a mess. I bought some a year or so ago and took it back because it was horrible. I been wanting some for a while I just got basic eye-liner, mascara, eye-shadow and a nail polish. I wanted to do my make up a way and take some pictures in the outfit I was in last night and today but never got to do either one. I want to do my nails and make up for tomorrow but don’t know if I will get to or not. I should have time, I have to take my little one to school then go back in a few hours and have lunch for the holiday with her. I should have time after I drop her off to come home and do it. After lunch I have to go to the shop and work.

I don’t know why I even wanted to take the pictures much less do the make up too. I have no one to take the pictures either other than my oldest and who knows if she will even take good pictures.

I am at a stand still on my weight loss, hoping to get back on track in the next few days. I have been at the same weight for about a month or two now. But I didn’t want to do anything to push myself to start losing again because I had lost so much so fast. Most the time if I lose it that fast I will not maintain I will gain it back. I wanted to just maintain for a little bit let my body get over the shock of losing so much and get use to a new normal. Now I think that I am ready to really go at it and try to lose some more. I have 44 pounds more to lose and I will be happy. I need to check I may have already threw my body into shock and be losing again. I have not checked in a week or so. But over the last three days up until tonight I had been cooking nice meals again not just whatever I could throw together and get over with. Boy I know I ate way to much. I may have gain after the night of pork chops. I was pretty good and didn’t eat as much of the roast last night and only three slices of pizza tonight. I know part of the eating is the mood I am in as well but oh my it was so good too.

Now I am rambling I got to get off here, I should be going to bed it is almost 11:30 and I am wanting to play with the make up I bought last night and I want to leave it in the bag and take it back all at the same time. I also just had the thought of doing a picture for Christmas cards and wanting to look up so cute ideas for that. I just jump from one thing to another to another like flipping through the pages of a book.

{January 2, 2017}   Washing laundery

Last night I had to break down and wash some clothes, me and Little Bitty were really needing some things to wear. Lord she must change underwear every time she walks in her room. I don’t know where they all come from or how she goes threw them so fast. But she does and we needed other things as well.

Let me tell you washing this stuff in the tub was not as easy as it was 10 years or more ago. I had something happen and had to wash some in the bathtub when my older two were little I had to do them that way for a week or so, I don’t remember hurting like I did last night from a handful of things I got them all in and tossed in my little pod. I do not like the pods I don’t think they are as great as everyone makes them out to be. I bought 4 bags a few weeks ago because they were on sale and I got more for my money. I put it in the tub and it was floating around. I went in a few minutes later after I got everything together and it was just broke in one spot and all over the bottom of the tub. I had to mix it all in the water. I would think with the water running hard and the tub being full it shouldn’t have sunk and did that. But I don’t know maybe I am wrong. I don’t they do a great job in the washer either and have been adding borax I have here in with them when I do a load and bleach to the dog blankets.

washing-clothesAnyway I washed the handful of stuff then had to drain he tub to get clean water. By the time I was done just washing it my back hurt so bad I could hardly stand up and my head was pounding from being bent over like that. I think I am trying to fight something off as I haven’t been sick but haven’t felt like myself for days. My head is still hurting and feels like pressure. Father of the Year was here and he went and rinsed them out and rung them out when I went to sit down for a minute. My back being hurt from that accident years back don’t help things either. I know that is what most of the problem is from. I use to mop my floors by hand with a rag and everything else until that happen.


I would rather wash them like these ladies here than in that bathtub again. A least stockvault-washing-clothes218433they are able to sit down half way comfortable and not hunched or bent over the bathtub. But there are no places like that around here and I think if I went to one of the places you can get to the river around here and pulled clothes out and started washing them people would be making phone calls and I would be getting a talking to. They would probably think I had done lost my mind and tell me I can’t be doing that there. Everyone would see because only places you can get to the river here is on the side of the main highway where everyone fishes, jet skies, kayaks and whatever else you can think of to do. I don’t think them people would be very happy about it either.

I let the older kids wash their own. They want to cry about having to wash a load o their clothes and bed stuff once a week. I figure let them have to wash what they need this way, I bet they will be running to wash their clothes when we get a washer going again. If not I will just start dumping them in the tub and telling them to get them washed. The therapist said make them wash a few things this way before so they see how easy they have it. My oldest said she has stuff for now because she was one of the last loads before it stopped working and I couldn’t get it to work again.

I should know today if we have one or not. My Grandpa called and said he went out to try and check the one he had last night but it is in the back the water hose won’t reach it and it is stuck on the spicket. Funny because mine is too I had oldest try to move them around so I could do something and they wouldn’t come off. He was going to go buy one for the back but the store was closed. He said he was going to get it checked out today. I talked to my grandma today for a little bit. I called to tell her the time the guy about the phone was going to be by her house. She said he was outside then talking to someone. I figure when he gets done with them he will check it before he comes in. But that could be hours from now too. I can’t get it before tomorrow or Wednesday. I need to find uniforms for Big Guy for school the next few day. They should be clean because he hasn’t been to school in two weeks but who knows because I seen a bunch of stuff that should have been clean or was clean in the bottom of their hamper. They don’t know it yet but I think they are going to be buying at least soap to wash them if not paying so much a load to wash and dry them. I have already paid to wash and dry them once and they have not been used. If they want to rewash stuff because they are to lazy to put it in the dresser and let it get walked on or put back in to be washed again they should pay for it. I don’t have money growing on trees or handed to me like they seem to think. We have had the money talk and they know how things work they just prefer not to think about it and let mom worry about how to pay for the stuff they wash a second time or the stuff they break and lose. It is stopping.

I am going to go and see if I can get my little one to take a nap so that I can. My head is still hurting and I feel like I could just pass out. If not maybe one of the older two will hang out play and watch tv with her for an hours.

Edit to add all pictures were taken from random pictures on line, they are not mine.

{January 1, 2017}   Happy New Year

Happy New Years everyone, hope that you all had a safe and fun new years eve. Mine didn’t go as planed but it was still an okay night. My grandpa was supposed to be here around 2 to look at the washer and I was going to go pick my friend up when he left and she was going to hang out for the night. He didn’t show up until after 6 pm. It took forever to just get the washer apart because of the way the newer ones are. My old washer didn’t have a back you could just pull it out and work on it. This one has a back all bottled and clipped on there and a bunch of wires ran all over hooked to the back panel.

He got here just as I was about to cook the potatoes and corn to go with the roast I had in the crock pot. I started them had my oldest watch them why I went out to help him. When it was all done I him and them plates but he wouldn’t eat. I went back out to help him farther of the year called and wanted to know if he could come see the kids. I’m thinking he needs to take them do something with them let them come over but that isn’t going to happen. I told him yes because I figured he could help grandpa with the washer too if he needed it more than I could if it came to moving it outside and things like he was talking about. My grandpa is 75 or older he don’t need to be moving washers. I moved it out and things for him but I couldn’t get it out the door and things if we needed to take it outside.

Grandpa got it all apart finally and said the part he thinks it is will most likely cost a lot to replace. He said I could probably get another used washer for what I would pay for the part. But I don’t have money for the part or another washer even if it is used. He said he had one at his house a lady gave him that he started checking it out and it seemed to work but he didn’t get to finish checking it. He said he was going to go home and check it out today or tomorrow and if it worked then I could have it. Once he checks it out I have to get gas to go and pick it up. Right now I have $15 to get gas to take the kids to and from school this week and buy dishwasher soap, shampoo, body soap and anything else like that we need. Oh I think I have less because I had to spend some on food yesterday and coffee filters so I could make coffee for my grandpa when he came and for the dinner. Father of the year didn’t give me anything this week and isn’t again for who knows how many weeks. I can’t believe it I am ready to lose my mind on him. I am going to take the microwave and the washer and scrap them if the other washer works that should give me gas to get the new washer, he lives about 20 miles or so away. I may end up scrapping my big grill that I have out there too I don’t know yet. I didn’t want to but if I have to in order to get the stuff I need I will. I am going to try to list the things I have left from the yard sale again hope to get a little bit about of them. I still have the toddler bed left a few other little odds and ends. I was hoping to have enough to buy a scale so I could list on ebay. I have to be able to weigh the stuff in order to for people to figure out the shipping cost or so I know how much it is going to cost to ship if I include shipping.

I want to call him and see if he has checked out the washer but I know he hasn’t he is probably just now getting up and then he will have to eat and get ready for the day and all that. He didn’t leave here until 11 or close to it last night. He got sick and dizzy why he was here with his sugar. I tried again to get him to eat something he said no he just needed something to drink sweet. I gave him a glass of soda and he stayed a while until he was feeling better. The kids all had to play air hockey with him before he left. I know he didn’t get home until after 1230 because I called to talk to my grandma and he said he was about 10 minutes from home then.

I hope this washer works and I can just go get it later today. We need to wash clothes now and can’t we are pulling out anything and everything we can find to wear and the beds need to be washed. I don’t want mounds of blankets sitting in the way and we don’t have but one set of sheets that fit my bed, I have a couple sets that are supposed to fit it but they don’t. I have to buy king for my bed in order for them to fit and stay on even though it is a queen. I am going to wash some stuff out by hand to wear and dry it. I am going to wait a few days on the sheets they aren’t horrible just getting to be time to wash them again. Then if I don’t have one in a couple days wash the sheets out by hand and dry them. The blankets will have to wait, I have extra so if it comes down to it I will just have to fold them up stack them in the laundry room and wait until I get a washer. Fun times but it could always be worse so all I can do is just keep going this is nothing compared to what I have been through.

{December 16, 2016}   Re: Now The Washer

Now I don’t know what to think, I didn’t get to go out and mess with the washer until about 930 tonight. I went out to get the clothes out of it and see if I could wash them in the tub for tomorrow. I decided to see if it would fill at a different point in the cycle but didn’t figure it would. I first tried to turn it on where it was to see what it would do or if I could see what it was doing. It looked like it was trying to fill up. I turned it around so the water would run in faster and it filled right up enough you could tell it was filling and not draining. I flipped it over to where it wasn’t working this morning and it kept filling up.

The clothes kind of smelled from sitting so I turned it over to start washing from the beginning and put soap in. It ran all the way through the wash with no problem. I ran another load and it went with no problems.

I decided to wash in it the next day or two and see what happen. We used it Wednesday, Thursday and Friday with no problems. I called my Grandpa and told him it was working I didn’t know what happen before. He said it could be going out and just not all the way yet. He said if it started doing it again to let him know he would come look at it.

Wouldn’t you know Saturday afternoon it done it again. It has done it a few times since then. I haven’t called him because we have been so busy and in and out so much. I figure I will just use it and watch it to make sure it doesn’t get stuck and if it does I will just stop it and restart it or just bump it over a little bit. I will call him one day next week to come over and look at it. The kids will be out of school too so they will get to see him some why he is here. We don’t get to see him or my grandma to often and can’t really go to their house to see them. They never go anywhere to see anyone.

et cetera
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