Now a Heart Attack

Wednesday Little Bitty had to go get a tooth pulled. She was supposed to go at 2 so they could give her the gas to calm her down. I arranged with the guys to leave at 1 and with Pops to come in late and cover me.

Tuesday when I was winding down for the day I called Pops to remind him and confirm everything. Not 10 minutes after I got off the phone they call to say they messed up they need her there at 10 am. I am supposed to be at work at 10 am. I told her I did not know I had to see if I could work it out.

I called Pops back and told him and ask if he could cover morning instead have the after noon free. He said it worked better for him because he had to go to the doctor at 3.

Wednesday I take Little Guy to school and came home and laid back down with Little Bitty. It was only 8 so we had an hour or more before we needed to go.

About 830 I got a text from the owner saying his dad could not open for me today so they were just going to put a note on the door saying opening at noon.

I said oh no, okay I hope to be there before but should not be any later. He never responded back.

We went they couldn’t pull it because there is a spot on the gums. They gave her meds and sent her home. I got her lunch and dropped her off at school.

I got to work at like 11:40. I clocked in opened everything up and got everything going. I decided to call Pops and check on him, see if everything was alright.

He said he was getting lunch and then coming in. I told him there was no rush I was just calling to check on him make sure he was alright since he couldn’t open. He said something I couldn’t understand and then said he told you what happen didn’t he?

I said no that is why I am calling to see if you are alright. See if you need something.

He said I have been at the hospital all morning I just left came to get something to eat before I came in. He said my brother that lives with me had a heart attack this morning I had to call 911 to come get him.

I said no I had no idea he never said. I couldn’t figure out why you wouldn’t have come in something must be wrong.

Later after he came in he said his brother came in his room or to the door called him ask if he was getting up. He told him no he wasn’t right now or yet. Hadn’t planed on it. He said well he thought he was having a heart attack and needed to go to the er.

He said he jumped up put his clothes on and called 911. He said he looked bad. He was scared to try and take him hisself.

He said when they got him to the hospital they took him straight to the OR and worked on him. They had to put 2 stints in and bring him back why they had him on the table. He was in ICU.

He said he lost a nephew in September he had not gotten over, then his wife two days after Christmas and he said now this. I feel so bad its hitting him hard he is struggling.

Interesting Message

Tonight I go out to watch a show with my little one before we go to bed, she has been asking if I would watch a show with her the last few days. I told her let me finish my school work and then I would watch a show with her. I was playing a game on my phone and sat down on the couch. As I sat down I exited out of my game so I could watch with her. When I did a thing popped up and said that so and so wants to connect with you. I clicked on it and went in to read the message it was a women. The message said is your papaw so and so? If so this is so and so trying to get a hold of him.

I just sat there looking at it. I didn’t know what to think because the name that messaged me wasn’t the name they were saying they were and they asked if he is my grandpa. My grandpa passed in 2012 who ever it was didn’t seem to know that. I started looking at picture but wasn’t sure who it was. I knew I knew the first name but couldn’t put two and two together. I was caught off guard and thinking about all of this in a manner of seconds and trying to decide how to handle it. Then it hit me that the person who was contacting me was the other persons daughter.

The person that messaged me was my cousin that I had not seen since we were little kids probably 9 or 10 year old. The person she said was looking for my grandpa is her mother that I have never in my life met or talked to. I knew my cousins because their dad use to bring them down on vacation and him and my mom were friends and we would meet up and see them why they were here. Their mom is my dad’s sister.

I messaged back and said yes that was my grandpa and that they needed to call me so we could talk please. In a little bit my phone was ringing and it was my aunt. She started asking me about my grandpa her dad I told her he passed away, she asked about my dad I told her he had too. That there was the three of them left and that one was in jail all that. She knew that my other uncle had passed before my grandpa ever did so she had been in contact with my grandpa but not in a while. She was never one that stayed in contact with the family and they said always wanting money and things. I had not heard a lot of good about her but she seemed okay when I talked to her. She is older now and maybe has changed over the last 10 years or more that it has been since anyone had heard from her.

We ended up talking for over 3 hours on the phone and she has messaged me everyday and we have talked and things. She wants me to tell the others she is coming down and things. She had me help them find a motel and all that. They are coming down two days next month. She wants to see grandpa’s grave and things like that. I would not have known her if she walked by me on the street or knocked on my door. But it was nice to get back in touch with my cousins and it will be nice to see them again and to meet my aunt. I have not told any of the family she is coming not even my mom or that I have talked to her. It really isn’t any of my moms business because it isn’t really her family but I am sure she will have enough to say about it. I am just going to tell her that I don’t want to hear it it isn’t any of her business and that you know like it or not she is family and she had a right to know and that her coming here has nothing to do with me that is up to them. They are grown adults free to do what they want. I know she isn’t going to like it because none of them really got along and still don’t she was like the “black sheep” of the family I guess you would say on my dads side but truth be know they all really were.

I asked how my uncle was because I had not seen or heard from him since I was pregnant with my oldest and he wasn’t doing good at that time. I was worried then he may do something to himself he was so bad. But I missed his phone call he didn’t call me back or contact me anymore after that. Him and my mom had stopped talking years before that so she didn’t know how to get a hold of him or anything.

Back when my grandpa was sick and dying he was asking for my aunt and wanted to see her and talk to her. No one else would look for her or tired. I searched and searched all over looking for her but couldn’t find any information about her the kids or my uncle. I told her that too that I had looked for her and couldn’t find her. She said they had been trying to get a hold of me as well but didn’t know how and couldn’t find me. I don’t know how they happen to find me the other night but they finally did.

I guess we will see how this goes when they come down next month. She wants me to move up there where they are. I told her me and the kids were looking for somewhere to move and things. She said it is nice there decent rents family friendly and good jobs. I told her we may come up Spring break and check things out.

Not Going To Be One Of The Enablers

My friend called and was talking to me earlier she talked for a little while and that is odd, she never calls and talks very long in the day time. She called me two or three times the third time she talked for a while. Then she gets around to telling me how her son up north got arrested yesterday.

She tells me how her other son and his wife took off work and went to the court hearing I guess the way she talked. She said when he was brought in and seen them there he just hung his head and looked at the floor. Once it was over they got his car and they left. Well I guess the brother not in jail broke down in the parking lot after they got home or on the way. She tells me she broke down and was all hysterical when she found out.

This is not surprise, they knew it was coming and it isn’t like he is looking at a great amount of time maybe 6 months I think. Less than a year. He got caught drinking a driving, he didn’t pay all that he was supposed to pay and he didn’t do the classes and things he was supposed to do. He just ignored it all like it was going to go away I guess. She was up there for Christmas and New Years and he was supposed to pay it by now and didn’t. I am guessing he turned himself in because they issued a warrant. It isn’t like he don’t have the money for it and couldn’t do it. He works everyday and makes good money. Until not long ago he was living with his brother and his family and wasn’t paying them either, and he is behind on his car payment they were looking for it to take it and they lied said they didn’t know who he was or where he lived. I told her that shit don’t work because they can find out and they are not stupid that is why they keep coming back there. Even though he may not live there they know he is related to them and they know where he is. He has a drug problem I knew this for a while when she was telling me how he works all the time isn’t paying anything never has no money and the people he is running around with. I didn’t say anything he had one in the past they all have I figured she knew. Well I am sure she knew she was just in denial. She called me up about 8 months ago and told me he did and something that happen maybe that was when he got arrested for driving under the influence. I said I know, she said how did you know? I said because nothing adds up he works every day and never has any money and never pays anyone, he has had one in the past and he don’t have a girl or anything he is spending it on. It isn’t hard to figure out. She was like yeah your right and I should have known but I didn’t I didn’t think it was that but whatever she went on. Then why she was up there he took her to a friends house she found out he was there buying drugs why he had her with him. She freaked out because she was scared they were going to get caught. He made  deal with her and his dad he was going to pay his fines do the things he needed to do and get all this taken care of. He didn’t so he went to jail.

The brother and wife get home or where every they were going and the brother is all a mess and the mother is down here all a mess the wife decides that she is going to go a bail him out so those two will calm down and be happy. I also think she had other motives for doing it but this is what she told my friend and her son she was only doing it for him and her not the one in jail. I think she done it because she is getting her pills from him or he is getting them for her because she has a problem of her own that she is trying to hide. She is always calling my friend anytime she is in town asking for her pills or when she goes up there tells her to make sure she brings them. She complains about what the brother does but she is doing the same thing.

She tells me that once he was finally released her son calls all pissed off and says that he never even said thank you when he got out, nothing at all. He went home and him and his girlfriend went to eat and things. But they had no money at all left to get him out they put in all they had and was broke until payday. But as soon as he gets out they are going out for a night on the town. I said and your both surprised by this why? She said because that is his brother and his wife they got him out of jail used their bill money and this is the thanks they get. I said sure it is because it was expected that he would get him out, he knew he wasn’t going to stay there he knew he didn’t have to ask he knew that he would not leave him there and would do whatever he had to do get him out. She said yeah your right he knows his brother will do anything for him.

Just like when he was living there and not paying his brother complained and complained to my friend but he wouldn’t tell him you have to pay or you have to get out. He has a family to take care of while he has no one but himself and if he decides to pay child support. But his brother wouldn’t do it because he was so worried he would stop speaking to him and have nothing to do with him. He didn’t’ want to lose his brother.

She then told me that her husband told the other brother that got him out that he would help him and give him the money he spent to get him out back! I said what why would you do that so now not only is your son enabling him but you all are as well. You are helping your son enable him then your going to be all upset when something happens and when he don’t grow up and handle his stuff his-self and do what he needs to. Why would he when you all sweep it up and pick up the pieces for him and he has to do nothing but go to work collect his pay check and go out and have a good time. She says I know but this and that. I said look he is a big boy he decided to do this so now he needs to man up and handle the outcome like it or not. Why should you or your son take away from your family and bill money and do without to fix his screw ups and he sure don’t care that you are or he wouldn’t keep doing it.

Then she tells me that her bank is over drafted by $1000 and that they had to sell some stuff the other day to put gas in the car and buy a loaf of bread. How she only has a few things in the fridge and she is running out of that and ways to cook it. I said my point and now your going to do without more so that you can give them $400 and some dollars to because they got him out of jail and he isn’t bothering to pay them back when he just had a check Yesterday and he will get another one next Friday? He lives with his girlfriend and her mom who have money so they are not going to be doing without and they aren’t because they are already out for a night on the town as soon as he got out. But you can’t go buy basics that you need for your house to eat. I said it isn’t like he lost his job or got sick and missed work he is sitting there with kids that need to eat and he can’t buy them food and the things they need and needs a little help. He did things and he is still doing things that are against the law and got in trouble. He knew what would or could happen he chose to still do them then he needs to stand up be a man and take care of them not expect all of you too.

She says yeah but it’s so hard and you say this stuff. I said and I am not just saying this and don’t know or haven’t been there, I said I left my dad in jail when my oldest was just a few weeks old because he got arrested for drinking and driving. I couldn’t get him out and I was not taking money I needed for diapers and things to get him out he sat there for about two months before he got out. She said really you did that with your dad. I said yes because I did not have it the only one who could get him out was my mom and he had made her mad just before he went in so she refused to help or do anything. I couldn’t use what I had because I had no way to get anymore and I needed it for bills and the baby. No not my kid but just about the same, she knows how close me and my dad are and that we always helped each other out when we could and found a way if we couldn’t. I could have called my grandpa but he was sick and going through treatment so I wasn’t going to bother him and upset him and get him to go out and deal with the hassle of trying to get him out from the other side of the state or where ever he was at that time. I know my dad wouldn’t not have wanted me to bother him either.

Like I told her my dad told me and my brother he would get us out one time and one time only so we better make sure that was the one time we wanted him to get us out. After that sit your butt down get comfy because your going to be sitting if you don’t find someone else to get you out. There is not putting money in your account and things like that either. You are there you have free room and board, three meals a day, shower, tv and all that you need. You have no need for money. May not be the best of the best or that great to eat but hey you got yourself there you do what you have to do so that you get out and don’t end up back there again. Your not on vacation.

I don’t feel bad for her not having anything right now either because her husband works and makes good money. He works 16 hour days 6 to 7 days a week. He is supposed to have a week off but works half that week or more most the time as well. They should not be behind on their bills, have nothing in the house and have their bank $1000 in the negative.  They took that trip knowing they were behind on rent and things already. Then he came back and didn’t work for a week or more because he was “sick” I do not know anyone who gets as sick as they do as often as they do when she never leaves the house and he hardly goes to work. He has missed so much work they told him he had better come in with a doctors note and that if he missed anymore he would probably lose his job. With in a day or two of going back he missed a day because he couldn’t SLEEP. I said are you kidding me he already was told not to miss anymore and that is what he called and told them. Then was mad they wrote him up. I told her she is lucky that is all they done because they could have gotten rid of him very easily. I don’t know anyone that misses work as much as he misses. RC told me when I first met them and before we became friends that he had a problem with coming to work. Then another friend of mine, my good friend told me the same thing, he don’t come to work half the time and things. When father of the year got him that job at the shop when he was driving tow trucks he missed a ton of work there and then got mad they found spots for everyone so they could keep their jobs but him. Then he got this job and he is hardly ever there. He will work two or three good days maybe a week and then missing days. She is the same way with work and school she missed so much in her classes she failed for not going and had to pay for classes 3 times now because she didn’t go and failed. She started school way before I did and I don’t think she is close to being done. When she tells you she is going to go somewhere don’t count on it. The other week she told me she would be at my house Thursday morning on Wednesday. My friends boyfriend messaged me ask what I was doing the next day. I told him supposed to be doing something with her why? He needed a ride so I told him that was fine I would pick him up after I dropped the kids off. I had done picked him up ran him a few places stopped at my house for a little bit after I picked them up and hung out and had never heard from her. It was almost 12 when I heard from her and that was for her to say she wasn’t coming. I was not surprised at all that is why I told them I would take them where they needed to go. If she has showed up I could have meet her here at the house it would have only took a minute or two to get home.

She knows that I am supposed to get that money either this week or in a few and I look for her to ask me to loan her some money. Well her husband to ask me to loan them some. I am not doing it, because they could have money but they are deciding to give it away over keeping it and doing what they need to do with it. I am not helping them enable the other one to do his drugs and whatever else he is doing. I have my kids to take care of and I will have money put back for future bills and things but that is besides the point I also owe the kids money and it is my oldest birthday Monday. I plan to do a party for her and things as well. I am going to keep out what I need for right now and a little extra so we can get things if we need them but the rest is going to be put toward paying the rent up as much as I can. Then I will get money each month to put back what I used to pay it up then I can use that to pay a little more up and to get other things we want or need at that time. Right now with the spot they are in with the bank being over drafted by so much I can’t count on them giving it back to me when they say they will because who knows what will happen. The bank gets theirs first because it goes right in the bank. Then if other bills or things they need to pay they aren’t going to be paying me when they figure I have all this money in the bank, I will be put on the back burner. I am just going to tell her I payed everything to rent but what I needed to pay bills and things. They can get mad but I am not supporting others habits and helping them is doing just that.

Family feud # 34394039384 Million

Yesterday I was siting here after I got back from the bus watching the kids play. I got a phone call from my friend J wanting to know if everything was alright and if my sister was having her baby. I told her not that I knew of and that if she was I would know. Her husband works with my brother that I do not talk to or get along with. She said that my brother came in or called in to work and said that my sister was in labor and that she had a really hard labor last time and didn’t stop bleeding and he needed off because he wanted to be there. That did happen last time but if she was having the baby I would have been one of the first ones they would have called. She don’t have a car and my mom was scared it may happen again and she always calls me.

Wanting to just check and see what was going on I called my sister she said no she had just got done eating breakfast and was laying down. She was to go to the doctor that afternoon. I told her what he done and had said. She wasn’t very surprised didn’t really say anything. She said she hadn’t talk to him since about the 12th of last month.

This is not the first lie he has told them at work and has everyone letting him off early or leave early every night. He told them his son was really sick and has all these problems and he needs off all the time. Something happen to him and he has some learning problems and things kind of like autism but it isn’t because they can see when they test on the brain that something happen. He told them his wife has a job and he has to be home every night by 6 to watch him and all this. He has a daughter that is like 16 and my dad is there. They left him with the daughter all the time when he was younger and she was a lot younger as well. There is no reason he couldn’t stay there with her and my dad for a couple hours why he worked in the evening. He told them he had no one to watch him, I know my dad wouldn’t care. He has offered to watch my kids for me. He just can’t keep up with my little ones but with her there to do what needs to be done or to help it wouldn’t be a problem for him to watch him.

Later I was talking to my mom and she had a fit that I told her that she wasn’t having the baby and stuff. I’m not the only one that told them that she don’t work my dad knows them and seen them and told them she don’t too. She was even trying to get disability part of the time he was claiming she was working and all this and home going to school online. I told her I was not lying for him if I was asked I would tell them the truth and that he shouldn’t be lying about everything. She went on and on about how she shouldn’t have called me and asked and we shouldn’t be talking about it and all. She didn’t work there blah blah. If I called in to my job or did something at my job I wouldn’t want him telling them stuff. No because I know what he would be telling them wouldn’t be the truth. I he would have no need to tell them anything because if I don’t go in I tell them why and very very rarely do I not go in or leave early.  If I leave early or call in once or twice a year is a lot for me. I don’t have jobs where that is allowed you show up and work no matter what or you lose your job 99% of the time.

But it’s her husband that is there until they close every night because he takes off. It is her husband that gets stuck there covering both shifts when he don’t show up takes off early or  whatever he decides to do. I know if I was calling in lying or taking off all the time he would be the first one to be telling someone something. It wouldn’t matter if they asked or not and it wouldn’t matter if he even knew anyone there. That is just how he is.

When he found out I knew my friend and her husband that works there he went and told her husband all kinds of lies about me and everything else. I think he done it because of all the lying he had and does at work and he knows I won’t lie to cover for him. Even if I wasn’t asked then something could come out why we were just hanging out talking. He told them I leave my kids all the time and go out to the bars just about every night and all this stuff. My mom says well how do you know your friend isn’t lying to you. I haven’t found that either of them have lied to me about anything. They have helped and offered to help me more than even my family. I know my brother he lies to everyone about everything my mom even knows it. He lies more than he tells the truth. I don’t if he has ever told the truth really. I have no reason not to believe them and every reason to not believe him. He has a track record for doing this with every job he gets. He never keeps a job for more than a few weeks or months. If he dose it is because when they try to fire him he calls HR with a huge pack of lies and gets them to believe it. So then HR has to look into everything and see who is doing what. He threatens to sue for every little thing so they have to watch why or when they do get rid of him or just cut his hours and things until he leaves.

I think it is crazy that my mom turns it around on me and makes me out to be the person in the wrong. She knows how he is and talks about it all the time. Him and his wife went so far as to tell her that she needed to stop talking to me or they wouldn’t be coming around or talking to her anymore because of stuff they started and she told them they were wrong. And because we still talked and things they stopped coming around or having anything to do with anyone for years and then get mad when we had things and they weren’t invited. I stopped inviting them to anything I had at my house not only because of the way he talked to and about me but the way he talked to and about other people. That fact that it made other people so mad or uncomfortable that thestoppeded coming to things when asked too. And the fact that no matter what they do or say or how they act and know they are in the wrong but then never say sorry or we shouldn’t have said or done that nothing. Just walk back in whenever they feel like it and act as if nothing ever happen. I am just over it. I stopped having holidays at my house because I didn’t want to invite them it looks like it will go back to being that way. I tried to be the bigger person and invited everyone for Easter and the baby’s birthday but not after this. My sister won’t come out and say anything to him or just not invite them to things. Because she don’t want to cause problems with anyone or make anyone mad. She plans stuff when she knows they won’t be around to come or waits until the last minute to tell them in hopes they have other plans. I don’t care who likes it or don’t like it if they are in the wrong they are in the wrong it is my house and my money going into whatever it is I am doing and I am not going to be forced to invite them and no one have a good time because of it or have people I want here to not show up or not be able to invite them because they are here. If I am the bitch for it I guess I will just be the bitch for it.

To Much Anger

Last night the kids were sitting around drawing and coloring before bed. We are sitting there talking and things. All of a sudden my big boy looks up and goes hey look I drew a picture and it looked something like this… chey I did this in paint but basically the same. He scribbled his all out or I would have just taken a picture of it. Anyway he says look me and brother are standing on the mount-en and that is sissy laying at the bottom she fell off. I know I really shouldn’t have but I laughed it was funny the way he said it. I know I know I know it isn’t good. My daughter freaked out he hates me why he do this and when he draws the family he leaves me out. Then she was saying he is going to do something to me one day and all this. I told her it is because of the way she treats him and how she calls him names and things. She and my mom of course say no it isn’t and she don’t do anything. Because she acts like little miss angel. I know a lot of it is from the way my mom treats her and him so different and things too. I didn’t say that I didn’t want to cause another big fight we had done had that for the night. So father of the year came home and someone said something to him about it and he is all flipping out and freaking out this isn’t good this isn’t right and blah blah.

Yes I know it isn’t right and yes I need to talk to his person about it but at the same time I can see how he feels and where he is coming from with it. I have always told my kids they can express how they feel and that it isn’t wrong that they feel this way or that way about something. Everyone has feeling and we all feel differently about different things. Some of us may cry because of something that others may not think twice about. Why others may get really angry about something why everyone else thinks it is funny. But I do need to talk to her and see what she thinks and let her talk to him and see if he will tell her what all is going on and if she seems to be worried about it.

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