{January 31, 2020}   Can’t Stay On A Budget

I sat down last year and put a budget together for about 8 months or more. I stuck with it pretty well for a few months and was doing really well. Until November rolled around and everything went to shit and I got behind again instead of getting ahead and everything happen.

I was going to start again this month and well that didn’t happen. I just sat down and put one together again and everything is going to be so tight I have nothing left at the end of the week and don’t even cover everything. It will be the third or forth week of next month before I start to have money. It was oldest 16th birthday yesterday and I thought I would have money to do something with her next weekend and I don’t even know if I am going to have it for another few weeks or more now. It sucks she always seems to have to wait.

I am just under $1000 behind plus my normal monthly bills I have only been working about 17 to 20 hours a week the last month at my night job and missed hours at both jobs with my mouth. Between my mouth and just feeling very burnt out and over whelmed I have been leaving my night job at 9/930 if there is no work. I am so very tired of working two jobs and now know I have a year or two more of doing two jobs before I am going to see an end in sight. It is just depressing. Add in the time of year it is and my mood and mood swings and things I am just done. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to go to work but I do because I don’t want to be at home and I need the money of course. I just need to get out of this funk.

He keeps saying we need to get me moved and work out him moving in so I can quite one of my jobs. Bff keeps saying just tell the kids and let him move in. But that isn’t what I’m looking for or wanting to do. I don’t want to rush into living together. I want to know we are good and well into this and sure this is what we both really want and that the kids are good with him and want him to stay with us before we do that. I do not see even thinking about him living with is before August at the earliest. Really I would rather wait until October or later. I know he is on month to month and they are trying to sell the place. If that happens then I may consider it sooner depending how soon. I would have to be moved, the kids would have to know and had time to get use to him and be okay with it. If it is right away he is going to have to find somewhere to go for a bit. I don’t want him moving in anytime soon. I may not even by October but I would be willing to consider it then.

I just need to get over this all and get it taken care of. I can I have just been avoiding it. Because I just don’t feel like it, I am tired of dealing with it all doing it all. Not having time to myself without having to worry about kids has been really getting to me as well i just don’t want to do anything when i get that way. I cant ever do for myself why do any of it? I know i have to that is where the avoid it comes in. I do no more that what i have to in order to get by keep going. Whatever i don’t have to mess with think about or do I don’t. Then once it hits a point i have to deal with it i do.


{October 25, 2019}   Figuring Out How To Pay

I think I have figured out how to pay. I was going to ask at my night job if they could give me a lone and let me pay it back $50 a week. But the owner is out of town until Tuesday.

I had the thought of my friend The one that Father of the Years new wife was living with before she came to stay with me and ran off with him. He has some money now he got that was owed to him. I was going to ask him if I could borrow it but had to figure out when I could pay him back so I could give him a date. If I could pay it weekly or one lump on x date. I didn’t want to short myself and put myself in a whole.

I also had to figure out how to do Christmas for the kids because $400 out of my budget plus and extra $200 from it this month coming up for car insurance to renew that is $600 that I don’t normally put out then needing to take out for Christmas as well.

I sat at work last night and redone my budget ( I may not have told you but I set up a budget on paper) because I had to adjust somethings. It runs from Wednesday to Tuesday because I get paid from my night job on Wednesday and my day Job on Friday or Saturday just depends if the guys are here to pay me at the end of the day or pay me before they head out. It just seem like I should set my budget up that way. But I was figuring somethings wrong because even though I knew it was Wednesday to Tuesday somethings I was still trying to budget Friday to Friday a few things I forgot to add on there and had them filed under misalliance it wasn’t working. Others I had listed to pay monthly when I needed to pay them weekly because I don’t always use them and pay different depending if I do or not. But last night I finally got it where it needs to be.

I had already figured if I came up short and needed extra money I could pawn my guns but I needed to know when and be sure I was able to get them out with in a month or two. I can’t pay on them a year like I did before. I was thinking I could pawn them and get enough money to pay the rent up but then I didn’t know how I would pay Christmas if I was going to have enough. I wanted to have them put up in order to use for Christmas just in case because even though I am on track and getting everything taken care of starting to get ahead I am still in that spot where I am not coming out with much money left at the end of the week/month. I had already thought I may have to pawn them to help with Christmas.

I figured out if I borrowed the money I could pay it all back in November but would probably have to pawn them to get Christmas. I figured my budget into the middle of February and if I did I may have to pay January and get them out in February. Still make the bills.

The guy I work with said something about being board and I said yeah I have done my budget up through February. He said oh yeah your really bored. I told him what was going on.

He said ask the boss, they are really good about things like that. I said that is why I asked yesterday when the owner would be back. He said call him he is available by phone for things like that. Or boss can approve it as well give him a call. I told him I would talk to him today when I got in. He said I could pay it back like $50 a week or so. I may ask them if they could take out $30 a week. it take about 14 weeks to pay back. So about the 2nd week of January. I am going to try to pay it back sooner but if I can get them to $30 a week it would give me a cushion and I could pay the extra the other weeks once I get past the first two weeks.

I think I am going to go that route if he says no tonight I am going to have to go see my friend and talk to him after work tonight hope he has it and will do it. I may be able to ask him if I can pay it back after Christmas or give him $100 a month instead of all of it in a month or $200 a month. I may ask them at work if they can do $100 a month as well and then do the extra but only have myself on the line for the $100 a month in case.

I asked the guy at work if they approve it if I had to wait until Wednesday when I get paid to get it or if they can get it to me sooner. He said he will just give me a money code like we give the drivers when they call in and you just go to the truck stop and cash it. So I can stop there after work tonight get the money and stop at the other store and pay the rent with it.

I better get off here and get something done at my day job. I need to clean and make my phone calls. It is slow today and I am the only one here. I just want to sleep my coffee don’t seem to be helping. Been stressing over all this crap I hope he can do this for me tonight.

{March 30, 2019}   Getting On A Budget

I really want to get on a budget I said that in a post the other day when I was talking about starting this job.

I have been looking for an app I could set up a budget in, that tracks everything that I want in a way that I want. But I haven’t found that. I want one that tracks planed expenses and planned pay but doesn’t add your pay into the figures until you approve it the day it comes.

The one app I like I can put planed expenses in and it will take them out the day I set. But when I put planned pay in it adds it right away. I like it shows how much going out is coming up takes it away from your available money but tells you over all with it how much you have. If it did the same with pay that would work too but it don’t. But it is good to track daily expenses like those stops at the store, gas or just that few dollars you spend here or there. I like that.

The new one I found last night does what I want and a little more. But it is more for monthly expenses than daily and monthly. But it really help me set things up way better than the other. It is laid out as a calendar you see every day and it has a red dot for expenses and green for money expected in that day. Then at the bottom of the box it shows you how much money you will have on that day after either or both have been added in and taken off. If you go in and put in all your pay days and all your bills it really puts into perspective how much you should have at any given point and makes you think about how much you really spend.

It help me to put my bills in order too. It helps I get paid in Friday and Wednesday. I set my bills up so I pay one every Thursday. They will be on time and get caught up.

I really like it shows your pay and bills like that just wish it was easier to track everyday stuff. Like the money I spent at the store this morning or on the way to work.

By the middle of next month I should have about $1500 to put on a truck. I should have it paid off in no time a few weeks or month. By mid June with tax money I should have enough to buy a really nice truck like the one I have. It will be paid in full when I get it. Seeing all my household everything laid out and seeing what I can have motivates me. Seeing it is possible that I can do it is nice that we aren’t just going to be getting by.

If anyone is interested the apps are called Vault and income vs. Expenses.  Vault is the one that will really put things into perspective and show you what you can have on any given day.


{August 26, 2018}   Number Crunch

So tonight at work I had a little bit of free time, so I crunched numbers. If my job cuts me to 15 hours after this week tthings are not going to look good. Even with him giving me money for the kids. He will give me x amount but then that will get divided by 3 and ssi will take that out of my son’s chech every month. So I am not ahead the full amount of what he gives me. A third of that is just making up for what I will lose.

Between my hours getting cut and his check being cut and bills going up. I will be $200 short a month just making basic bills. I have to get another job. Hopefully full time at more than I am making now. At least not less. If I make what I do now get 40 hours a week i will just cover bills. I need to have gas money and things as well. Once my mom leaves lights and water will drop and that will help. She washes her hands 5 or 6 times in a row, washes clothes over and over dries them forever. Im not here to put a stop to it so my bills are up there right now. Pray only about a month or less from the 13th.

But i still need to find a decent job making decent money. I want to get ahead and not just get by or almost survive.

{January 16, 2017}   Budget

Last night I sat down and put together a budget with what money I will get from school, the check I get monthly and what he is supposed to pay in child support. I think that I have about $800 more coming from school but I am not sure so I did not count it. They say there is that much set aside for my books but I did not use it. I have been told that is not counted in what it shows I will get back. I think it is but not sure. I figured I would not count it and then if I get it, it will just be extra and if not then I am not short. I also counted my tax money that I should get back the end of next month. I started it for March since I will have everything paid already for the most part for February.

I estimated my bills a little higher than what they normally are since they go back and forth with in $10/$20 each month. I figured them about $20 higher than the high ones just to be on the safe said. The ones I know how much they are I put in at the right amount since they don’t change like the yard guy and my phone. I also took $50 off the top for savings. I would like to save that every month but it may have to go for other random things that come up besides bills. But I figure the extra I added to the bills will make up for random things unless it is a big repair to the truck or something. I forgot to budget in for my newspapers I will have to go in and add that in because I am going to start couponing again.

I set it up on a spreadsheet so that all I have to do is punch in the numbers and it will figure it all the way across the board for each month when something changes. I went ahead and figured it out as far as I could go from on the money I will have and the money expected to come in. If everything comes in as it is supposed to I can pay everything through January of next year and still have about $200 left over and that don’t count the $50 a month in savings. I am not counting on Father of the Year to give me what he is supposed to but figure I will start working and make at least that much so I will make up for that. The times he does pay then that will just be extra in savings. Plus I do not have to make it until January I will get more money from school in September if I have to but hopefully I will be working and not have to get any extra at school the next few terms other than to pay for my classes.

I also didn’t tell father of the year or anyone else that I put together a budget and have it set up so that we shouldn’t have to worry about bills and things like we have the last few months and should be able to make it until January either. If I tell him he will figure he can skip paying me or short me when he wants like now but even more and if anyone else knows they will be wanting to borrow money all the time. I am not lending money or buying stuff for people all the time. I do and then I end up in a jam because most don’t pay you back.

I took off the top everything I need to pay back and truck repairs so that money isn’t added in there either. Only thing that I need to do is buy clothes for three of the kids and myself. I bought Little Bitty a bunch of dresses back in November for this spring when all the nice ones went on sale. I have them in the draw. I can put them in a bag and give them to her or just give them to her she won’t know the difference really. I try to take them one at a time or in a big group and buy clothes. If I take them one at a time she doesn’t know we went to get clothes or what and if we go in a big group, she can get her shoes she needs and some underwear and she will be happy and when we get home I can give her all her dresses I have here when the kids are putting theirs away and drying them on. She can try them on with everyone else. But that kind of things she still doesn’t pay attention to yet. I hid them because she would have wanted to wear them all this time they were too big and I didn’t want them messed up before spring and her need new ones again. But I spent about $35 on over $70 worth of clothes for her and she got more than I could get if we waited and went shopping now. That frees up more money to get the other kids things as well. It worked out good all the way around.

{August 26, 2016}   Going On Vacation

I told you about my friend and her budgeting problems in my post It’s No Secret last week or so. Well she has called me a few times since all upset because all they are doing is fighting and things are really bad they have never been so bad. She is worried this maybe the end of her marriage. Her husband has said maybe they need to split up for a while and things already as well.

He wants her to go to work and help him with the bills and get caught up. She isn’t really looking for anything or wanting too. She says she has never really had to work he didn’t want her to work he wanted her home with the kids and to take care of the house and the things he needed/wanted. And she could go to school. She is going but she started way before me and I don’t think she has as many classes and credits done as I do. She has dropped or been dropped from I don’t know how many classes and then failed some too. She is in trouble with the school and can not get anymore aid because she has had so many problems. Now she has to take a class or two and pay for it herself and pass them before she can get aid back. That is almost $500 on top of all the other bills and rent they are behind in. Most of her classes are a hour away from home because of the program she is in. She needs to take something online so she can save gas and money. I helped her get into a computer class the only thing open online in her field to take. Then find out that she can’t take it from home because her computer is so old. I have told her for over a year let me go with you and help you get a laptop when you get your extra aid money so that you can do your classes from where ever you are. She took online classes before and had to go to the school and use their computers because hers wouldn’t work then. She said she had her upgraded so it should work with this class but it wasn’t upgraded enough to take this class it is to old to upgrade any more. She always say she was going to then complain later that all the money got spent and she didn’t get one because she gave it to him or used it to go here or there or to get this or that before they were ever behind on the bills. So now she need a computer that is going to be around $300. Or she has to figure out how to get the school. She applied for a scholarship through a different program that should pay for most all her classes she has left if not all and give her some left over. She could get her computer and books and get her other aid back once she takes this one class. She is still waiting to hear and do to what she needs to for them.

She calls the other day and tells me she is going to South Carolina to spend a month or two with her sons and their kids. I said what why? She said because things are so bad between her and her husband and they just need a break and she wants to see her kids. I said I think it is a horrible idea and if you go your marriage will probably be over for sure. She couldn’t understand why I.

I told her he has told you and told you that he needs your help getting out of this debt that you all are in and that you need to get a job. Now your basically saying fuck you I’m going to go on vacation for a couple months you stay here and figure it out work your ass off working 6/7 days straight and trying to pay it. On top of that she has the cost of the ticket to get there and money to spend when she gets there. She says yeah but he is really mad everything is my fault and I don’t understand whatever I try to do he gets mad he says I need to get a job. I said and your going to leave instead of getting a job. I said once you ask and as and then tell someone something and that you need help and they do not do what you ask or show no regard in trying to help, it gets to the point that anything they do down to breathing gets on your nerves because you feel they have no respect for you because they are not doing what you ask or offering to try and help and then come at your needing money for class and a computer and now want to go and take off for a month or two to spend time with family. I said do you not think he might like to go see the kids and things too. I said he isn’t going to tell you not to go because at this point it’s like I have told you what is up and what we need to do to fix things and to have things on better terms and you could careless your over here doing whatever and making other plans. I said you get to the point that your just like whatever do what you want to do. Because you are anyway. I said then you just decide that you are doing it on your own anyway why do you need them when they do not care and are not helping and off doing their own thing why you are stressing over everything and trying to fix it and you decide you if your doing it on your own now and they don’t care then you may as well be on your own and find some one who is going to to care and help when things get hard. I told her she sticks around and is fine as long as everything is good but every time they get hard she wants to split. That this time he has told her and told her. I said so don’t be surprised he has said maybe you all just need a break or what that if you go he tells you just to stay and don’t come back. She said yeah your right I wasn’t looking at it that way and things. I said I think he is telling you that yall need a break to get you to see that he really needs help and needs you to pick up some kind of job even if part time and get a little extra money in the house. In two weeks you could pay a months rent take off a big load of worries. Work a few months get rent and bills caught up and then work a few more to put money in the bank that is for times when something happens you don’t touch it unless you have to. She said yeah she wasn’t going to go and she was going to tell him the car needed fixed so she could get a job and that maybe if they got ahead they could go at Christmas time together.

She called me again the other day telling me her son’s wife is pregnant and they are having trouble with the girls she needs to go up there and get things under control. Her sons girls are out of control the mom does not make them listen she threatens if she does anything at all and does not follow through with any of it. She sleeps all day why the girls run the house then complains about the house being a mess. Now they are in school so they are not there making a mess why she sleeps. But they were way to little to be allowed to be up in the house all these years with no one watching them or enforcing rules. Now they are older they want to start being parents again and enforcing rules. You have a kid that has never had to follow rules and start laying down rules it isn’t going to go over well.

She can go there and they may listen to her like she is the warden but as soon as she leaves they are going to go right back to the way they always have been because mom and dad are not going to make them listen or enforce the rules. She has said it herself. So why is she going it is going to do no good.

She called me yesterday asking me if they can get in trouble for the kids being late all the time when the mom takes her and they are sitting in the parking lot of the school and the kid refuses to get out of the car? I said yes for being truant. But she is at school she just can’t get her out of the car and into the class. The only thing that counts with the school is if she is in her seat when the bell rings they do not care she is in the car and not getting out, in the car is not in the class ready to learn. It is not the schools fault if you can not control your child and get them to go to class that is another issue all together that has nothing to do with the school. She said they told her that they reported another family and they took the kids the mom did 10 days in jail and CPS was involved. I said yes they are right she can do time in jail for her not going to class.

I know this because my step brother skipped school all the time. My step dad or mom would take him to school give him to the dean, teacher or other staff member in charge at the school. they would let him go to go to class and he would leave. Even though they brought him to school and they know he did he still did every weekend in jail for months over him skipping and not going. So no they do not care you are in the parking lot with the child in the car or that you hand delivered them to the office and then they left. They only care that you get your child into class and that they stay there. So then she needed to go there to help her make her go to school. I said what good does that do? she knows that when you leave she can go back to same old same and your to far away to do anything. If her mom can not get her out of the car and get her to class then her dad needs to go there and make her do it. Yes he is going to miss work, it’s going to be a hassle but then she is in trouble for not listening to mom and for dad having to come there and get her into class. Once she see’s that dad is going to come and she is going to have to go and she is going to be in trouble when she gets home for causing problems she will start listening. Because she knows dad is close and dad can come. She knows your states away and can’t come so she can do what she wants. This kid has no respect for her mother or her father and until they all get it worked out she isn’t going to and she isn’t going to do anything they say. She has had no rules or anything up until this point why is she going to start following any now or letting someone else tell her what to do. She has been fine to do what she wants and make the rules for herself up until now what has changed.

Just like my kids respect me and listen. I get told all the time how good they are, what good manners they have and everything else. My kids are hardly ever punished for every long at all and not often. Most the time I will ask them or tell them this or that needs to be done and they do it or that they need to stop this or that and they do. If they don’t I can say if you do not stop or you do not do what I asked this is going to happen. They know that it is and they straighten up and do it or stop doing whatever it is they were told to stop. If not then I do whatever I tell them was going to happen. If you have that respect and they know that you will follow through with what you say it isn’t empty threats then they will listen and you don’t have to punish most times. They are kids they have their times they just aren’t going to listen they are wound up from whatever, they are tired or they just want to be brats and do what they want to do or not listen. We deal with it and move on. But the more we go the fewer and farther between those times happen.

Then she tells me she is looking for airline tickets to go to New York so that he can get them out of his next check. They are going because his mom and dad are going to be here for their anniversary and they are going to have a party for them. Then they are coming here to spend a week or two at their house before they go home. I said how are you going to do that when you owe all this back rent and other bills? The tickets alone will cover most of a months rent if not a full month or more. She said I know it’s going to have to wait and we will have to pay on it out of the check he gets when we get back. I said that is crazy why not just wait for them to come down take out a little money and go to a nice dinner with them? If you must do something, it will be a lot cheaper than flying up there and back and all the money you are going to spend. She said she knew but he said they were going he was not missing this time with his family. I said and what are you going to do when you come back and your homeless? I said because she has been very understanding and working with you all this time. But she has made comments because you were supposed to be paid up by now and your farther behind. I said if that was me and you were staying in my place and owed me months of rent and I found out you went on vacation I would evict you no questions asked. I said that is so rude and disrespectful. I said you know she needs her money just like you all need yours when he works and gets paid. You know she is working to stay a float and you owe her months like 3 or more in rent and then go on vacation.  It isn’t right and your not doing anything but digging yourself into more debt. She says I know, I know but he says he is going this is his family and he isn’t missing it. I said I would refuse to go and spend the money on my ticket tell him to pay on rent with it. Oh I can’t do that you don’t understand his family. I said his family isn’t the one going to be homeless, his family is why you were renting a car when you had one that was fine, his family don’t have all the debt you do trying to pay off right now. You have seen his family a lot this year they have been here and you all spent money you didn’t have and his parents are coming here a few days after the party.

I just do not understand how people make it to almost 50 years old and see nothing wrong with partying and vacationing instead of paying bills and rent. It’s not like someone is sick and dying, they are good on bills but may be late if they go. If they were not behind and someone was dying I could understand. But they aren’t they want to go to a party nothing more nothing less just to go to a party. No regard that their bills are months behind. I just can’t wrap my mind around how they justify this in their minds. I really don’t think she was raised that way because her mom was a single mom who worked two jobs a lot of times to keep up with everything and would not apply and get any kind of help. Their aunt would help put when they needed it but I don’t think her mom just spent and blew money like they are. I don’t know how he was raised but I don’t see him being raised that way either because his mom and dad both worked and had decent jobs. His brother and sister both have really good jobs as well and are well off. I don’t know if it is just a keeping up face with his family or what. But your almost 50 you have to figure out what really matters and forget what others think of you at some point.

I know if something happens and they get thrown out of there they are going to be asking if they can stay here for a little bit until they find something or save some money. I feel bad because they have offered to let me and the kids stay there before or if we ever needed to to help us out. I never took her up on it but they did offer. But when they are just blowing and spending money when they have it and not paying bills then I have a hard time with saying sure come stay with me until you find something. Even if they said hey we are in over our heads we can’t get caught up we need to just move and start over she agreed to let us move so we don’t keep getting behind could we stay a month until we save some money and find a place so we can start over and fresh I would be more inclined to say sure. I had to do that twice when me and farther of the year was together because he wouldn’t pay bills and we would get behind. I paid what I could with the money I had but that was all I could do. But when they say we are going to a party states away instead of paying our rent knowing we are behind I have a problem with helping. Either way it will probably put a strain or end to our relationship if I did or I didn’t so it won’t really make a difference there. I have done everything I can to help and to try and help her set a budget because she says she don’t know how or where to start she is over whelmed with it. If they want to party instead then there is nothing I can do

I think she got a little mad about me telling her that she was in the wrong wanting to leave instead of get a job and about going to this party instead of paying her rent but I can’t help it. She wants to call and tell me all her problems and ask what she should do or just to complain how bad things are and then tell me she is going to do this. She better bet I am going to call her out on it. She still calls so I guess she isn’t to mad. Like I told her when she was talking about going to see her kids. I will tell her all the time no what he is doing isn’t right or he is in the wrong or your both need to work on things. But this time she is in the wrong to just take off after he has asked her and told her he needs help. She knows not to tell me what is going on or for advice if she don’t want it because I am going to give it and it isn’t going to be sugar coated or watered down.

I just hope my kids learn to manage their money better and handle things differently. I try to show them and teach them and they see me do it all the time. I just hope it sticks with them and they don’t feel that partying is better than paying what they owe. I ever done that my dad would roll over in his grave. I have never left anywhere owing money. I may get behind or what but I always make sure they are paid and leave before I get to the point I can’t pay the one or two times it came down to that. Like I said then it wasn’t my fault I paid what I could.

{August 14, 2016}   Cleaning Day 2

Is about to start, I have two 20 gallon bins piled high with clothes to get rid of out of every ones stuff. I have a bag of stuff to list on line and try to sell to help get uniform shirts for my little guy. They had a uniform shirt sell at his school for used uniforms. I got there and they were sold out of his size and looking at the ones they had there for all the rest they looked like they came out of the rag bag. They had posted that “genitally” used ones were $5 and ones with stains were $3. I would be embarrassed to donate clothes that looked like the ones that were there to anyone much less put them out and sell them. For a church to expect people to buy stuff in that shape I think is horrible. Again I don’t have a ton of money but I try and make sure my child is dressed nice and the parents I see going in and buying what was there just get on my nerves. They are dressed to the T or in uniforms from work and you can see they work decent jobs. Then come in there and buy rags for their kids to wear to school. I understand uniforms are not cheap when you have to buy them with school name on them. But it is the point when most are not even paying for the school you would think the least they could do is buy their kids decent clothes to wear.

Someone said you would think they would be worried about their kids getting picked on for not having nice shirts. I said not because they all bring in the rags their kids outgrew and trade them for rags someone else kid outgrew and so they are all in rags. So no one can really say anything and pick on anyone because they are all wearing the same. Don’t get me wrong I am not to good to wear used clothing or buy used clothing for my kids. My little ones up until about the last year or two got most all their clothes use. We had a great shop in town that sold everything for like $5 or less and they bought your used kids clothing or gave you store credit for them. I could take one of those plastic shopping bags from like Wal Mart in full of clothes and get $30 or more store credit. I could go through what she had and find the kids all kinds of nice clothes for my two little one. I wrote before about my mom saying something about why was it that my two little ones mostly only got used clothes and why they weren’t “good” enough to have new like the rest of the kids. A lot of what I got my little ones was name brand stuff that I wouldn’t buy for my little or big kids at the price they want for it. 80% or more had tags on it or you could tell it had never been washed and wore. It was nicer than what I would find at the store that I could buy and it was cheaper most times or the same price but better quality stuff. It is harder for me to find my older kids stuff used at the stores because they do not have stores that sell bigger sizes for the older kids like they do for the little kids. We are starting to get a few but they are so far away that it wouldn’t make since to go that far when I could use the extra money that would be spend in gas to buy them more here at stores that are close. We do go to the goodwill sometimes and get things but it again is a hit and miss. Some of our favorite things come from thrift stores. So I am not to good to buy his uniforms there if I was I wouldn’t have end checked to see what they had in his size. And I do not put down anyone who buys used but buy your kid nice stuff not things that are wore out. There is a difference in in used and wore out people. It be one thing if they didn’t have it and could’t get any different but a lot of them you know probably can when they are dressed to the nines every time you see them. Hell if I couldn’t I would be pulling out all the nice clothes I was walking around in and selling them to get my kid clothes. I can’t do that because I have a handful of shirts and two pair of pants right now. But that is because I have been making sure the kids have what they need instead of buying me clothes. That just what you do. Most of it comes down to budget and priorities a lot of times. It amazes me how few people know how to budget or have their priories all mixed up. And how many people who have way more than me to work with and way less people to take care of can’t do it and are amazed how I do it on such a tight budget but my kids always look nice and have what they need. They may not always have what they want or get it when I have planed to get it but they always have the things they need.

Hints why I am cleaning out and pulling out stuff I had sat aside to sell before and didn’t get around to with going to school to sell now to get his uniform shirts. Right now I am going to go get a few shirts for $5 each for him to wear this week until I can get the ones with the school name on them. They are just going to have to deal with it I don’t know why they have to have the school logo on them anyway as long as they are polo shirts in the right colors.


{August 13, 2016}   It’s No Secret

Everyone knows I’m on a very fixed income with 4 kids and going to school. I am having to use student loans to help get us by until I finish school. Not the best situation but it is what it is. I can finish quicker and hopfully get a better job than I can now when I am done. If I work now I would have to cut my classes to two a term so I can work and take care of the kids too and still have to take out loans. Doing it that way it would take me more than two years to finish a two year degree and I would be racking up all those loans. Where if I just go to school and take 4 or 5 classes at a time and use loans i can be done in a year to year and a half. Probably end up with less in loans to pay back probably not anymore.

Knowing that this is how things are and the amounts of money I have coming in and the fact that some of it comes in large sums months apart I have to plan accordingly. This makes sure that everything gets paid, it may not all get paid and it may not be on time but it makes sure that it don’t go off or we don’t get thrown out of our house. Then when I get my big sums I pay everything down to a $0 balance and keep them paid on time until money gets tight that two or three months where I am not getting as much.

My friend keeps saying she don’t know how I do it and how I have 4 kids and I keep everything going, it’s just her and her husband and they are behind on everything. I know he didn’t have a job for a little bit but she had one that paid little and he refused to check on some he could have gotten and been working. He got some unemployment and I know family helped them. He is working now and trying to get caught up and seem to just keep going in a cirlce and not getting anything caught up or paid off.

He took a job almost an hour from home so he has the expense of the extra gas and tolls. Then this job they only work a week on and a week off. Sure you are making $24 an hour but then divide that by two weeks because you are off a week and not making money so that money is for two weeks really not one. Your not really making anymore than if you worked every week over here at a little less and din’t pay all the extras. Then their car died beyond fixing died. They have two other cars but they are not here because even when he was working before they didn’t pay the money to get the one that was given to them here from out of state and then the other they bought from family and are letting them drive it still for a little bit before they get it. Once family goes home they will get the car. Instead of sucking it up and having the other car shipped they went out and rented a car for over a months that put them that much farther behind. They sent as much or more than what it would have cost them to get the car here. They had borrowed a van that they could have used until it got here if they would have just shipped it. I even told them look find a $300 to $500 beater buy it put your tag on it they be out $600 or less. I found some for under $500 that would have worked. When they were done with it they could have turned around and sold it for what they paid and got that money back. But because he didn’t come up with the idea and didn’t find the cars it was a bad idea.

They are months behind in rent I can’t believe they haven’t gotten thrown out yet but they have been there for about 10 years so the lady is working with them. But they keep getting farther behind not catching up. Then she tells me today that they owe half his check or more to the bank because they over drew it trying to pay rent, bills and put gas in the car.

She said they were trying so hard to get ahead and it was going to be tight for a while until they do and she don’t want to take the over draft off the account because what if something happens they need money.

I told her she isn’t getting ahead, she isn’t getting close to even thinking about being ahead, all she is doing is digging her hole bigger and bigger and she is pretty soon not going to be able to get out of it. She didn’t understand why I said that. I said because your costing yourself more money every month in over draft fee’s and that is money you could use to pay on of your bills your behind. She said we are maintaining. I said no because you don’t have the money to maintain or you wouldn’t be over drafting. All she is doing in going more in debt every month and soon she is going to be homeless and have to start from the ground up if she don’t get on a budget and work it out.

She said again I don’t know how you do it and how you don’t stress about it all the time. You never seem to stress about money and you probably live on less than anyone I know. She said something about budget and not having money to do anything or go anywhere. I said that’s part of being an adult and making sure stuff gets done.

Like I told her I know that my rent is $X a month, I know that I have $100 less than that a month coming in, so I know when I get money I have to figure out the next time I will get a lump sum of money again and make sure I put $100 for each month up and not touch it so that rent gets paid every month. Then I pay all my bills down to $0 and I pay them off as soon as I get them as many months as I can. Once money starts to get tight the last month or so before I get money again I pay on the one that is due soonest and pay only what I have to. Then I do the same with the next and on down the line and just rota them like that until I get my lump sum again and then I pay them all down to $0 but for the most part they are paid on time and in full but a month or two here and there.

When I am dividing money up Rent comes off to the top because most people are not like them and can get months behind and not get thrown out. Two rent is the biggest bills in most houses, if it gets behind and all you are able to do is maintain and keep things going it becomes in possible to catch up and if other stuff is behind you can just about forget catching it up. Where if the others get behind there is most times a set amount you can pay and keep it on or make payment arrangements to pay it. As far as going out or doing anything if I do not have it then we don’t go simple as that. Does it suck living on a tight budget of course but does it keep a ruff over our heads, lights, water and rent paid so we aren’t homeless yes. I will take having bills paid over being homeless any day. You can always find little ways here and there to fit small things a dinner out or something like that once in a while.

She called me later and said she talked to her husband and he is talking to the bank about making payment arrangements with them and paying a months rent out of this check and on some bills. I hope they stick to it because they should be able to get it paid off pretty quick if they do. But if they don’t then they are going to end up homeless and have a hard time finding a place, once they do they aren’t going to be able to get water and things because they will have big bills with the companies. He makes ok money but not great money like they want everyone to think and there is only two of them so I don’t know what they can’t get on a budget and stick to it. They pretty much just have daily/monthly cost that is it if they don’t spend on a ton of extras. I know with 5 of us I could live on what he is bringing in and keep my bills paid and probably have money left at the end of the month. I told her bring me her bills and things and I could help her set up a budget and help her start getting things paid down. I don’t know what they are going to do.

et cetera
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