Single___Parent___Life











{April 20, 2019}   He Was Minding My Own Business

Me: Miss 6  why did you hit Mr. 8?

Miss 6: because I was on this end of the couch he was on that end I was laying down wasn’t touching him. He started and was minding my own business so I punched him. If he had minded his own business he wouldn’t of got punched. I told him not to start and not to say nothing and he couldn’t listen. Maybe he will mind his own next time and not mine.

Me: 😳😬😆😂 glad she was in the backseat of the truck and couldn’t see me.

#6yearsgoingon30 #herfatherschild #lordhelpme #dontmindherbusiness #mindyoursnothers



{March 8, 2019}   Haven’t Heard From……

Sailor boy since he messaged me the other week and Sleeping Beauty messaged him saying not to text me anymore I was with someone. It has been almost two weeks I guess. This Sunday will be two weeks. He didn’t show up Wednesday night when we went so maybe he is just gone. I don’t know. I am not really worried about it as much as I was. I feel like I can relax now and not stress that if he was going to do anything he would of by now. My friend said she was going to let me know if she seen him in there as well. We had been talking about trying it out on Sunday so I figured he may go then to see if we showed up.

I just don’t like the not knowing what to expect, when I seen the charges it did freak me out because I have the kids to think of for most out of everything. If something happen at my house or if something was to happen to me. He don’t seem like the type that would do that but shit he did at one time or another, well more than one time already so you can’t be to careful. I feel better about it all now that he hasn’t contacted me again. I would think if he was going to or mad he would of said something. Maybe he has learned and grown and that is in the past. But still with those charges I can’t have him around. Had the sex and stalking not been there I may have been okay with just being friends and talking business and things. But I can’t even do that with the charges he has.

I told bff the other day he is that one person that I have been waiting to come along that could help me with business stuff and get one open and doing good. But he has those charges and I can’t have him around. Like I told her even if it was everything else with the stalking it scares me to much to have him around. Other than that I could keep it on a business level and keep my kids out of the picture but, the stalking if he decides to flip for whatever reason one day it could end up at my house or if I had a business there and then what if my kids were there. Even if they weren’t again if something happens to me what are they going to do where would they end up. I will just have to wait and hope to figure it out on my own or that someone else will come along that is willing to help that knows what they are doing.



{November 11, 2018}   Investor Needed

I need someone with more money than they know what to do with and who wants to invest in some worth wild causes. If not then I need someone with the know how to get grants and things to get some good ideas off the ground. I know there are all kinds of government grants, scholarships, loans and things that you can get to do all kinds of things but I have no idea where to start or how to get them. If I did there are so many things I could do that would help better things for me and in the long run a lot of others in my situation and more. It is just so hard when you do not have the upfront money and things. I can come up with the idea, get it in action and make it happen I just don’t know the other end of coming up with the money. I don’t even know where to start or who to even talk to about such a thing. It is frustrating because I know a lot and willing to put in the grunt work and handle it all but this one thing that I don’t know how to do or where to start is stopping me and there are so many scams and things out there I don’t want to try and go it on my own and figure it all out because I don’t want to get caught in scams and waste time and money I don’t have. Most people don’t want to talk to you if you don’t have a perfect credit score or a ton of money to invest as well. It is just so hard because I also have to work and things.

If I had someone willing to invest then I could just get to work on making things happen, getting the ball rolling on what we want to do. I could do that around my other work and things. Wonder if I place adds places if I would get any hits or takers. Where to even place the adds I don’t know. To bad I couldn’t find something that didn’t take a ton of money to start that would make quick money fast that I could do from home and around my other jobs.

All this free time at work has my mind all over the place and thinking about everything and and ideas. I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I wonder if I should talk to my boss here at the escape room see how he got started and things, what advice he could or would give me or if he just think I was insane and crazy. I know he had a partner or has I think that he got rid of him not long ago I don’t know. But he got started somewhere to have this place and be opening another one states away. I don’t know how he got the money the idea the partner if he had money before or what kind of background he had before he done this. I may ask him and his wife if we could sit down and talk. It is hard to judge how he will respond how much or if any help he will be. It just all depends the mood you catch him in. I will have to think about that. It sucks because it seems around here no one is willing to really help anyone else even with just information because it might take a dollar away from them. Maybe one day I will find the right person and figure it all out. I just keep coming back to I need to I need to figure this out and make at least one of these ideas I have happen when I am thinking about all this and what to do and how to do things. That if I get one in motion then I can get others after I get me and the kids settled. I just don’t know.



I say that but really I wouldn’t consider a population of 568,088 people to be that small. But when you have lived her almost 38 years and your family before you for over 50 it can sure seem that way.

A kid that went to the church me and peter pan went to over 8 years ago got in touch with me a while back. He is all grown up now and out in Lausanne. The other day we were talking I said my truck was broke down. So tonight he messaged and ask how things were with it. I said still broke no money to fix it I needed to buy another. He ask if I knew this guy? I said no. He said look him up on my page and go see him. He is family sells cars he can help you maybe. I said I had no money but maybe if I got some I would go talk to him. I looked him up to see if he was someone I maybe knew of but wasn’t placing the name.

I found him it showed pictures of his lot. I looked and was like oh I know where that is I think. I messaged back and said is this on the corner of y and z? He said yes. This is the guy Starfish works for who offered me $1500 for my truck the other night. But wanted to sell me a step down from my truck for $4500. So you know he is going to get over $4500 for mine when he fixes it.

I told my friend my other friend worked there what he offered for my truck and things. Then I told Starfish your working for my other friends family. Its funny because this family is tied to a pretty well known family who was good friends with my grandpa and my mom back in the day.

We finish talking I go to craigslist and instead of putting in Excursion, Expedtion, or Ranger I just put in Ford and searched. It pulled up everything listed as a Ford of course. For me that is uncommon because I will be the first to tell you only thing good Ford makes are Trucks and the SUV’s I listed above. Cars I say not to buy. Well a Crown Vic came up. They are good cars probably the only decent one they make really. I like the Crown Vics. It was listed for $1600 said got to get rid of. Me thinking to myself I can probably get this for $1000 or close to it. Drive it until I find an Excursion and sell it. Then take that money and get a Ranger. I can get $2000 probably easy if it runs good and looks good. They are pretty wanted cars around here. It was almost 930 but I text the guy and ask for pictures. He sends them. I ask if there is anything mechanically wrong with it he says no. I see from the pictures he sent it is on a lot. I was busy at work did not say anythinng back. Later as I am leaving work he ask if I want to see it? I ask where it is? He gives a address that I know is a business address. I do a quick google search and find it is at a car lot. I look and it is the car lot i am supposed to go for the interview at on the 11th. I just told him I would try to stop by tomorrow and look at it. No idea who i was talking to so did not say anything. The guy i am supposed to talk to is supposed to be out of town from yesterday the 4th until the 11th.

I told my bff who told me about the job what happen. I said what are the odds of his family owning the one Starfish works at and then me finding a car of all things at of all places the lot i am supposed to interview at in a few days. When I don’t really want a car.

I don’t know if I will make it there or not tomorrow. I turned my vin over to Starfish this evening he was talking to the guy he wanted it. I am waiting to hear back and praying he says come tomorrow and pick up a check or cash in the range of $3500 to $5000. If he does then I will probably go look at it. Everyone cross your fingers pray send good vibes or what that once and for all i am done with this truck tomorrow and have money in my hand.



{April 18, 2018}   Dream Chaser

As you all know I have been talking to Starfish a lot the last week or two, I don’t even know all my days are running together. But anyway, we have been talking and some how this place I have thought about trying to get and open for years came up Monday night. I told him about it and was talking about not knowing how to get the money to make it happen and things. He told me to call the people and go look at it. He said sometimes you have to look at something then you can figure out how to get the money. We talked about it for a bit. He was asking where it was what it was and things, I told him about it. I just feel that without the money to even think of doing anything to it, it’s a waste of time going to look at it but he is right maybe from there I could figure something out. It would give me a better idea of what I would need because I knew nothing about it.

yesterday I had to go to the doctors office to pick up paperwork and had to go right buy there. I was shocked there was no one behind me because most the time it is packed through there it is right on the side of the high way. I was able to slow down and get the number off the sign. I didn’t have anywhere to right it down so when I got to the light I text it to him. He asked what it was I told him. He was surprised and asked if I called it. I told him no I just got it I was going to call today. Later I had to go back out to go talk to my friend so I called on the way to her house and talked to the guy that answered the phone.

He told me it was zoned two different things and that there were or could be 5 units up to 500 sq ft or 18 at just around 250 sq ft. He said it is on city water but not sewer and some other things about it. I asked him about it being able to be used as a motel and like it was and he said no the city was being picky about it and wants a strip mall kind of thing in there. I said oh that is really to bad. We talked some more. He asked me what I was wanting to do with it? I said I want to open the motel back up and the retail store. Like it use to be. He said oh really, he said here give this lady a call and talk to her she is the one that decides all that and can make the changes or tell you how to get it changed to be used for that if they will do it. I asked him how much they were asking for it and he said 550, I assume that is thousand. He said they were wanting to get it sold so we could talk about the price. I told him I was going to think about somethings see what I could find out and that I may get back with him.

When I got to my friends house I text Starfish and told him all that I found out he asked if I had set up a time to go see it? I told him no, he said to go ahead and set up a time we could go look at it that maybe I could get them to rezone it again and get what I wanted. He told me the other night he would go with me to look at it and check it out. He knows some about remodeling and things like that. It’s always better to have an extra set of eyes and ears when doing something like this to catch things you may not see. He keeps asking if I have talked to them or not. I still just don’t know where I am going to get like $600,000 from to buy this place and get it up and running. Even if I wanted to and could get it rezoned. But he pretty much has me talked into calling him and at least going to look at it and see what we think from there. If for nothing else I like to go look at it again just because of all the memories I have from there. I spent many of nights there when I was younger with my dad. He would rent rooms there by the week or the month instead of renting a house or what. He said it was cheaper he had everything included and someone cleaned and washed for him. They even washed his clothes for him weekly he got to know them so good he pay a little extra.

I was going to call today after my boss left but I forgot about it until it was to late. I am still kind of nerves to call and go look at it. I think because I don’t want to get my hopes up and be disappointed in the end. I feel like I will be looked down on when we get there to meet the guy he is going to know I don’t have the money and things. I don’t know. I hate that and the feeling. Its been a dream of mine to have a business for a long time. Like I told him if I could put a store and motel then I think I could turn a profit from the store faster than the motel. So the store could help carry the motel until it started doing good. Worse case I would have to rent the store out to help pay for the motel. I feel like it is just one of them dreams that won’t go anywhere as much as I would like it to. I also wonder should I spend my time and energy in trying to do this here or should I wait and work on moving then trying to open something where I end up?

But I think that if I open this I could turn around and sell it or I could put my sister and her family over there to run it and keep it up for me. They would have a place to live and I could still have the money from it coming in. I just need to get over my nerves and call the guy and set something up for Friday and go see the guy and look at the place. I have also thought about just keeping the zoning and opening a strip mall like he was talking about instead. I think I would be happier with the motel and store than I would be with the strip mall. But if it was a strip mall I could still open my own store in one of the units. All options but I think the price of the building is going to keep me from being able to do anything with it.

I will keep you posted if I go or not and what happens. I already have a name picked out for it if I was to figure out a way to get it.



{January 9, 2018}   Re:A Business Loan

That was short and not so sweet, just as I expected. I was there maybe 5 minutes and leaving.

She ask what I was there for and I told her. She then ask if I had been established for two year or more. I told her no I was just trying to start and open up. She said they can’t help me and that I needed to register with the state and things like that get things rolling. I don’t want to do that if I don’t have money to do anything. She was not helpful with any information. I know people do things like this all the time I just don’t know how or where to start to get the money to make it happen.

I have my eye on this old motel that has been closed a long time. It was a motel with a house and a restaurant all together. It isn’t anything big maybe a dozen or so rooms. Someone years back went in and started remolding it and doing some stuff to it. What I have heard is they got into things they should not have lost their money and they had to do it and everything else and it has since just sat. They closed up everything it looks like made the house and restaurant all one area. I would open it back up into a store. Then I could move there do away with my rent and bills at my house, live there run the motel and open the store I have been wanting to open as well. I could kill three birds with one stone for say. I still want to move but I would stay a little longer and get it all off the ground and running good.

Once I had it going I thought about letting me sister and her husband move in and live in the house. He works she could run the motel and the store and live there rent free. If they didn’t want to do it I know others who I could trust to do it. Once I had it all turning over good profit and things I could then turn around and sell it. I could get my money and then some out of it. It is in a good location for the motel and a good location for a store right on the side of a busy highway and freeway. And there is a flea market right across the street so people who would be going there would stop and come in the store seeing as you have to drive right by it to get there or leave pretty much.

I just wish that I could figure out how to get the money to back it and get it started. I know people who could do the work and not charge me a ton and I could do some of it or help with a lot of it. The store would not be hard at all because I have more than enough to put in it and if I take everything on consignment then they only make money if I make money I won’t be paying out for inventory.

I just want to find someone who has done it can sit down with me walk me through what and how to do it and help me do it all. I am a fast learner and smart about a lot of things but this is one thing I do not know about. I rather start something I had the money already to start but I think this would take off and make me money faster and be less stress for me because I wouldn’t have to worry about bills at the business and at home I would have it all right there in one. I could take my bill money I have now every month and roll it into what I made to help cover everything so I wouldn’t be putting as much out.

I am trying to find out information on the building to see if I can get a hold of someone talk to them about it. I need to know who owns it what they are thinking of doing with it, if they want to rent it sell it, how much they want for it and things like that. If the same person owns it they may just want to get rid of it quick or they may be interested in renting it and having money come in off of it every month. So many questions and so much to figure out. I still want to move but I think things are going to be tied up in court and I am going to have to put it off until a little later anyway. I just have to wait and see what happens. But this would give me something to do here make some money on and be able to have money and show income coming in when I move to help back me and get property and things when I do get where I am going as well. If I got this I may consider staying and going ahead and finishing my degree. But odds are I would go as soon as I had my court stuff done and the businesses up and running good and someone trained to take over for me.



{January 9, 2018}   A business Loan

I had to go to the bank yesterday so I had the bright idea to ask about a business loan. I just wanted to know what they look for as far as credit, assets, income, type of business things like that. Of course the lady I needed to talk to wasn’t there so they gave me a time to come back today. I don’t know why but I took it. I am supposed to be there in 45 minutes and I really don’t want to go now. Lets face it, I have nothing to offer other than I am sure if I could get something open I could make it something. But as far as what they want to get a loan I probably have none of. I don’t know if I want to go hear no you can’t because of this that and they other. All the while being looked at like I am stupid or crazy for even asking. But how do all these other people do it? They do not have a ton of money to pour into a business or pay as they try to get off the ground. But they seem to figure it out and do it. I know a lot of things but this is one area that I am not sure about or how to even really go about finding out. Other than asking there. I wish I knew someone to talk to who has done it who would help me and walk me through it. I guess I should get off of here and decide what I am going to do. I will let you all know later what I decided or found out.



{August 5, 2016}   Opportunity knocking Again

It is no secret that I want to start a store and do resale for kids items. I talked about it a while back in Flexible Job, I went so far as to meet a man and check out a little space he had. But it was just that very little and upstairs. On top of that after crunching numbers I just didn’t see it working out. I would have to put the money into it and it would have to turn a profit from month one. We all know that is not a reasonable expectation of a business. Most say it takes a good year to start seeing profit. I am thinking with what I want to do it would take about 6 month.

Well yesterday when I took the kids to therapy I noticed a shop down stairs was open. It is a store front and a little bigger than the one upstairs. I would have the window to put stuff in for people to see and get them to come in. I would be right out where everyone walks by.

I started thinking about it and if it would be something worth checking into or if I would be in the same situation I was before because of needing to pay bills there and at home. The fact it is still not that big even though it is bigger than the other space, would I have room for all I would need to have and do? The more I thought about it the more it seems like this time it would work way better than before.

Now the divorce is done I would not have to worry about father of the year trying to say he wanted part of my business because I started it why we were “married”, two he is going to be paying child support so between that and the money I have coming in now it would pay the bills at home. I don’t need the extra space for the kids like I needed before because they all will be in school or daycare. I won’t have to worry about trying to teach them, go to school myself and run the store because they are going to school too. It would only have to pay for it’s self and I think I could make enough to do that each month even from the start. But I would have my student loan money to use to start it and to help pay the house and there as well. Like I said I think in 6 months or less I could be not only paying it’s own bills to stay open but giving me profit to take home.

The only draw back is that I would need someone to watch the store for me a couple days a week while I was in class. I don’t know if I would make enough to do that as well. But I can trade my class out and take another online class to replace it. Then I could be there to have the store open. If I open that I could take my laptop in and use it there and do my school work and get most of it done a lot of days while I waited on people to come in. The only time I would have to close then is to take my test at the school for each class or get someone to sit there for a couple hours why I did it. I could have my sister or I have a few friends that would do it I could just pay them for the few hours. I could even just let my sister get stuff she wanted for the kids for doing it.

I have inventory that I could put in there right now. Some big things and if I sold them it would pay half the rent or more for one month. I have people who want to bring stuff in and sell it already if I do it as well and they think that a 40/60 split is great deal to not have to do nothing but bring it in and collect the money after it sells.

I go back and forth on it, I keep asking myself if I want to take that on with all I have to do but most of what I had to do is going to be in school I won’t need the extra space for them to have an area to be there and work. I won’t have to worry about all their schooling. My older two won’t even get home work. I can do mine sitting there or at night if I really had something pressing I needed to get done. Money wouldn’t really be a problem. Then I tell myself what better opportunity and set up is going to come along. Everything that was keeping me from doing it before is pretty much gone. So now there really is no excuse not to do it. If I let this pass me by then I probably will never get this kind of chance again.

I think the biggest thing holding me back is what everyone else is going to say or how they are going to react. I don’t know why because what anyone thinks or has to say about it really don’t matter I am the one doing it not them. I really don’t care I just hate dealing with it and listening to it. I think I will call the guy tomorrow and see how much he wants to rent the place. I know it is rent, lights water included. I was told they thought he got about $500 but like last time he was like if that is to much I can come down. He has other empty spaces too so he wants to get them full as well. I don’t think there is wi fi but I can use my hotspot from my cable company or get cheap internet service. To do what I need to do for school and things. I know there are place close that have free wi fi anyway so I could probably use that even.



{March 6, 2016}   Doctors and Work

Not much going on here right now, I finally get to go to  the doctor tomorrow to see what they say about this thing in my neck and face. I don’t know if I posted or not but I now also have a place right along the jaw bone on the bottom on the right side where the lymph nod is swelled up. It isn’t on the bone because I can move it and feel the bone is normal it is just like tissue or something in the skin I guess. Not sure really. It’s all just a mess, I have walked around with half my face swollen since December. It’s as lovely as it sounds. It is’t that bad everyone says but I notice it when I look at myself and I am sure others do to.

I am looking for a job still since the last one lied to us. I emailed them and ask them when we should expect phone calls. The lady said we all had to reapply. I ask why that they said all this stuff in the meeting. She said that once we had not worked for a week or two we were terminated out of the system. I told her that we were still owed our bounces so we should not be terminated out as of yet. She never replied. I also told her I already had applied for the position but still never heard back from anyone. I think they are not calling me back because I said something about not being paid what I was supposed to have been and made them fix it. I think they got mad about it. Oh well we go there and work because of the pay, hours, and things like that. If it is not what they told us then they need to fix it. If we get the job and do not show up for work or do not do the job or half do the job they are not going to keep us.

I am looking for something to do from home. I really want to open a business and right now have a lot of time to put into it but not a lot of money. I would like to open a resale shop but all the spaces around are renting for more than I can afford right now. I am trying to figure out if there is a way I can do it from home or rent a storage area and do it on the weekends or something. But to do it either of those ways I would need more money upfront because I would need to buy everything upfront and then sale it. Where if I had a shop to open I could take things in and pay the people as things sold. I am trying to figure out if there is a way to get a loan or something to help get started. I think all I need it a license and tax id number once I have a space. I have stuff I could put in there to sell to get started and could get more as I went and people knew about it. I am good with money and selling I think I could make it if I could just get started.

If I can’t do that I would like to find some kind of data entry to do online from home. I don’t want to do phone work with the kids. I would have to do it in the middle of the night why they were sleeping then get up with them in the mornings. With data entry I can do it anytime I have free even if they are awake. Like now while I type this my 5 year old is sitting here watching Scooby Doo and playing. If I was on the phone I would have to be locked away in another room somewhere and still hope that no one came in and said anything or the dogs didn’t start barking why I was on the line. I couldn’t answer random questions that he came over and ask or listen to the things he is wants to tell me about. I be a lot more stressed to.

I know there are ways to do these things and I can find the answers to most everything. But this kind of stuff I just feel so lost and no idea where to start. There so much involved in it all. I feel stuck not sure what or how to do or where to ask.



{November 17, 2014}   Feeling A Lot Like Moving

It’s not a secrete that I want to move and get a way from here. The kids are on board they ask all the time when we are going to move and why can’t we move away to somewhere else.

This is the last year that me and Father of the year will be filing taxes together. That will give me some money. Between what I have coming in and what I should get for child support I should have enough to show I can cover the rent until I get a job. I will have around $6000 to go on and get a place once we get there.

I am researching on line places to rent, jobs, and areas on line. I plan to line up 3 to 4 places that  I have talked to and who will rent to use when we get there. Once we get there we can go check each one out and the area of town they are in and decide what one we think will work best for us. Hopefully we can move in that day so that we don’t have to spend money on a room and things.

I figure I will take what we have left once we get there and put the rent and deposit down. After that I will pay to get the lights, water, and gas if we need it on. Once I get everything on I want to take the rest and pay on the rent to get it paid ahead. I hope to have enough to pay up at least two to three months in addition to the first month. Then I will have a little leave way and time to find a job.

My biggest worry is finding a good area with out being able to go up and check things out first. I have to go by what I see on line get from the realtor’s, and others that I can find to talk to in the area. Other than that I know when I tell my mom she is going to freak out and try to stop it. I am sure she will start with father of the year and try to get him to keep us from going or him to get us to come back. I am waiting until just about the last minute to tell her if we decide to go.

I have been talking to father of the year and he agrees and thinks we should go. He wants to go but he is going to stay here for 6 months to a year after we go. That way can make sure we are where we are going to stay for a while and he will have his job so that he send the support so that we will have it to work with to get in a place. I have wanted to do this for a long time and every it seems that we are going to be able to start making plans they just seem to get pushed to the side. It just never felt like it was the right time as bad as I wanted it to be. This time feels different, this time it feels right. If I can line everything. It will pretty much come down to having a few places lined up to move into when we get there.

If for whatever reason we don’t end up moving then I am going to get a new truck. Well new to me truck, I still have my old one and the new one I bought a few years ago I sold when it started having so many problems. But this time I will be moving up instead of buying the same thing. I will be getting my Excursion that is here I put here on my Goals And Dreams page.

To be honest it is hard picking between getting the truck I want and moving. But I can only do one or the other. I am going to do everything I can to go ahead and move and wait a year or so more on my truck. I feel that we all really need this move for so many reasons.

My older kids are getting bigger and I want to be able to enjoy it with them. I don’t want the younger kids growing up here any more than they already have. I want to hopefully meet someone in the next few months or so. Really there isn’t anyone here to meet and I don’t want to meet anyone here because most everyone here wants to stay here. I don’t want to stay here. I don’t want to get into a relationship to just end it because I want to move or to end up staying here because of it. I still want to have the property and horses and the longer I wait the longer it will be before I can do that. I want to start a business but I don’t want to do that here and have to do something with it just as I get it going good. I don’t want to be moving it with me and I don’t want to find someone here to run it or leave in charge of it. I could sell it and use the money to open another when I get where I’m going. But there is nothing to say that I would have it going enough to sell it or would sell it and make anything out of it.

So as much as I would love to have my truck I really need to do everything I can do to make this move happen.



et cetera
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