Back to Back Court Dates

Today I was bored and nothing was going on so I decided to check child support site. I checked my case with RC and it said they issued a court date yesterday.

I looked on their site and it didn’t show. I went to the clerk of courts and it did not come up on there either. The one for father of the year still is not showing up either. I have not received a letter for it.

I went back to the child support case and clicked to chat with someone there. After a million tries I was finally able to. They were kind of rude but finally said court was at 12 in the north court house. We have to be there on 3/2.

I was a little confused because these cases are held in the South court house. But then I remembered that this case has to go infront of the judge to start with because of the DNA and all that. So I guess they handle it in the north court house. I am sure it will end up in the South once it is all done.

The north court house is much closer and easier to get to so I don’t mind. The South one is over 30 miles away and I have to be there at 8:30am. The drive sucks and takes forever with work and school traffic.

I am not worried about the one with RC. I am sure he will probably phone in since he is up there. But even if he wasn’t the thought of seeing him don’t bother me.

But I am dreadding the one with Father of the Year. I do not want to be around him or see him again. I hate that sick panic fight or flight feeling I had once he got there. I think my friend JW is going to go with me. We were talking about it today he said something about he hoped I didn’t feel that way this time or something. I said me too but I figure I will. I was going to ask my friend to go but I have not talk to him in a long time. I think he is mad at me. I said I will suck it up go and find a little spot between two people to sit. That’s what I done before.

He asked when it was I told him. He said he could go with me if I wanted him to. I told him he did not have too but it would be nice that I didn’t want him to get in trouble at work. He said he wouldn’t he wanted to go with me. I hope he can go. I really do not want to be there alone. I don’t know anyone else to ask to go with me. Bff said she would but she did last time then didn’t. She has to have kids to school and things as well I don’t know how she would go.

It’s really nice of him to offer to go with me seeing he has to miss work and pay to do it. I will pay him what he missed once I get the behind amount I’m owed. I know he don’t want it or expect it. But it means a lot to me and I want him to know.

I know it probably sounds stupid that I don’t want to go alone or that I want him to go with me. It’s court, but I can’t help the way I feel. I shouldn’t have to go do this and feel that way while trying to do it. I hardly ever well really never have anyone help me or with me as support. Sometimes we all need that emotional or moral support when we have been through things. Abuse is a huge thing to go through come out of and not have some issues from it. If this is the worst I need help with then I think I am doing really fucking good and proud of myself for working through the bulk of it. I was even considering asking my one boss from my day job to go with me. That is how bad I have been dreading it.

Contempt Again and Finally Served

I hadn’t really thought of the deadbeats and child support in a while. I am not sure the last time I checked on it really. For some reason today I was walking through the shop not really thinking about anything and something said check child support enforcement. I went on and forgot about it.

Later this afternoon after I finished up working and had some simi free time I thought of it again. I looked up the case on Father of the Year first. It is showing over $2900 owed but it is more I know. It said just today they sent something to their lawyers to file contempt of court against him again. I figure we won’t get a court date for that until next year. It was aroumd this time last year when they finally did something and we didn’t go until May 15.

Then I looked at the case with R.C. it don’t show anything new so I looked it up at the clerk of courts site. It showed on the 19 I think it is returned or proof of service.

I went back to the child support site and chatted with someone there. She says he was served on 10/2/19. This shows you how long it takes them to get it in the computer and everyone to get the info. She said we are just waiting on a court date for that one too now. I am sure it will probably be some time next year as well.

We get in court I am going to ask about contact and all that. If he wants contact what I should tell her because she has been asking.

I am not looking foward to court with Father of the Year. I do not like the way I felt when he walked in the last time we went. I have to find someone

At least once they get onto R.C and make him pay he will. This with Father of the Year is going to be just another go in tell him to pay x amount of what he is behind and let him go. He cry to mommy and daddy or his boss and get the money. He will skip on about his way and not pay the rest of the year. Why we are in there I am bringing up his rights and getting rid of them.

Feel Like Stirring The Pot

Not just for my ex and his employer but for a lot of people’s ex’s and their employers too. I may have said this before but not sure as it has been a little bit since I was told. But I have been told that I can sue my ex’s employer since he is paying him under the table and keeping me from getting child support. I didn’t think it would be to easy to do and it would be something else to take time. But it has been in the back of my mind, I have been mauling it over when I think of it. The other night I was laying in bed thinking about it and it seems so easy but hard at the same time. I kept thinking there is something I am missing about this. I decided to go on line and look up about employers and their obligation to withhold and all that.

I found that little golden nugget of information that sparked that ah ha moment. I was trying to decide how to word it to get it to pull up the information I was looking for. After a couple of tries somethings popped up. One caught my eye it said something .gov. I always look at .gov sites over anything else if I can because they are more trusted sites.

It said something about the employer lying on court documents and what could happen if they did. It said if they say a person does not work for them, that does that is lying on court papers and the punishment that could be given for doing this.

It is just one of those little pieces of the puzzle that you don’t think about or that don’t seem like anything until you figure out that it really is and does.

I said to myself this could be in my favor all around here. If I collect pictures, video,text and anything else that I can and file papers to sue him in the court and he gets it. Then I hit him with the fact he has lied on court papers and can also end up being punished for that. Maybe he will think better of it, help father of the year pay what he is behind and start taking it out of his check and sending it in every week. (Wishful thinking I know) If he don’t want to do that then maybe it will scare him enough that he tells him he can’t keep working because he really don’t want to be involved. I don’t care what they do if he starts taking it out or truly fires him. Either way is fine with me. Because he will have to go somewhere and get a job and then he will be on the books and they can start getting something from him. If not he gets another under the table job, I will be quick to inform them why he lost his last job and that they can either comply with child support or I will go after them just like I did his other employer. I will have proof of him working there before I let them know this and send it or show it to them at the time.

If trying to find another under the table job is the route he goes and that don’t work for him then he will either just not work or again go get a job that is on the books. If he stops working fine I am not getting anything from him anyway so no different for me. But he then won’t have money to be going out to dinner, party, rent or things that he needs. Let him see what it is like to not have, let her see what it is like to lose things again and homeless or whatever happens. If he don’t do right let him do without like my kids have.

Once I figure it all out and see that I can do this and that he can get in trouble and things for doing this, I am going to make it known that it can be done. I am going to make it known everywhere I can to everyone who will listen. Because there are so many out there not getting the help with their kids that they should be and like me working two or three jobs and just getting by while so many more of these deadbeats walk around without a care.

If this works and you can do it, I am going to post it everywhere, facebook, craigslist, next door, let go and any and everywhere I can think of and let everyone know there are other ways to get things done even when child support enforcement won’t or can’t help. Check this out, lets all work together, help each other get pictures and proof of these guys working. Lets do one better than that, lets make a list of all the places these deadbeats work and make it known that they help these guys get out of paying child support and boycott them. Put it out there for everyone to know. \

Maybe this will make these places either 1 stop lying to the court and start taking the money out of their checks. 2. they will stop giving these guys jobs because they don’t want to be involved in it. So then these guys are going to either have to start paying regardless of how they work. Again have to get jobs that are not under the table or like I said not work and lose everything or figure out how to get by.

If everyone pushes this and stands up and says no more lets hold the employers accountable too maybe a lot more people will start getting at least something.

I can go even one further and point out that even if your children are grown you are still owed any and all child support you should of gotten. It is not to late to collect. Shake them up too. I am so done with these guys walking away and paying I am going to shake every tree I find to shake and stir every pot that comes along. Because if we don’t this is why this kind of things goes on and keeps going on. Someone has to stand up and say enough is enough and change things.

I figure I may as well do anything and everything I can do since child support isn’t doing anything or taking their time and doing no more than they have to. They sent him a letter on the 17th of this month saying he has 20 days to make a payment or they are going to suspend his license. What a joke, it already is from last time. Even though they gave it back he never went and got it.

Oh and the passport they were going to put a stop on, it never got done. I seen in the file this afternoon that there was some kind of mistake and it didn’t get done. Not that it matters or he was going to ever get one, but they can’t even get that right.

I am going to go for now but stay tuned once I am done researching and get the ball rolling I will keep you all updated on how things are going. Until then I will leave you with this one question to ponder…………………

And from my understanding they can not count both of my jobs when figuring out how much child support I should be getting. Because when I was looking up the laws and information about the employer I found some other information. It says when they are deciding how much child support one should pay they should not have to work two jobs to pay it. I don’t remember how it was worded but basically it said if one was working two jobs at the time, support should not be so much that they have to keep working two jobs to have to pay it. It should be figured on one. From what I see it is the one that is 40 hours or close to 40 and they can up it to 40 even if you are not making 40 in a week. But my understanding whatever one you are making the most money at is the one they use. So there for when they skipped putting my day job on my case with father of the year it was because they only use one and my night job I make the most at. There for when they told me to put both on my paperwork for the case between me and RC they were wrong there. I am going to make a day to go to the court house and talk to the lady there about it all as well because child support isn’t handling my case correctly as far as I am concerned.

They Finally Filed

On my case with RC it says they filed papers with the court the 25th of last month. I keep looking at the clerk of courts site to see what it says they are doing since that is all it says. But it isn’t showing up. I finally chatted with someone online about it and they said they filed and were waiting on RC to be served but they didn’t know why it wasn’t showing up on the clerk of courts site.

I also asked them about Father of the Year and why they were not going after him again. They told me we sent and revoked his passport. I said he don’t care he don’t need one for anything, you took his drivers license months ago and he still goes to work every day and drives the company truck and brings it home and drives it everywhere he needs to or wants to go. So when will they take him back to court? Because that is the only thing that is going to get him to pay anything. Then she tells me they will not take him back to court until they have exhausted all other avenues and they do not work.

I am calling the court house tomorrow to see if I can get them to do something. If not I am going to see what papers I need to file so that I can file myself.

I went back to the clerk of court website to look up the judge that was on our case and get the number for her. I didn’t look at the cases when they came up and just clicked on our case. When I looked at it something didn’t look right. I started reading it and it was for me and RC not me and Father of the Year. Mine and father of the years case was at the bottom of the list but now mine and RC’s is so when I clicked it was his.

But now that it is all on the site it means that the court house has it moving in their system. Meaning it should be on it’s way out for him to be served. If we are lucky maybe we will have a court date by Christmas. But it is to establish or disestablish paternity. So if he or the judge wants DNA they will collect it there and it will take two weeks for them to get it back to us. Then we will have to wait for another court date. With Christmas and New Years we will not even get back in court before February if not later probably.

But at least the ball is rolling in the right direction finally after 6.5 years.

To be honest it is maddening really the way they do things and how long it takes them to help and get something going much less in place.

 

Time For A Change

Who the hell do I call, write or visit to get some fucking changes with the way they handle these fucking deadbeat dads who don’t feel the need to pay child support? May 15 we went to court and he made the payment to catch up SOME of his back pay not even all of it. Then makes one full payment and not even half of another and has paid nothing since then. He is over $700 behind just since we went to court. Not counting the back pay he still has to take care of.

I messaged them the other day after getting part of a payment and they said we JUST went to court and we had to give him and/or his boss the time to get the payment in. This was three weeks after court one and a half payments down or behind. How much time does he need to make the payment and keep them going? The $2500 back pay did not come from his pocket at all. He got it from mommy probably I don’t know don’t care. Then that very Friday he misses a payment then makes one payment and the following week makes less than half a payment and again nothing last week. But he is walking around scott free nothing being done.

I called them today and asked them what was going on. She said they sent a paper telling his boss they need him to take money out every week or to know if he isn’t working there on the 11th and they are waiting to hear back. I said the 11th was before we went to court so nothing is being done since we have been and he is still basically not making payments? Well they have to be 90 days behind she tells me. I said he is already over $700 behind I thought it was a week or month? Well at the end of JUNE if he has not made a payment then they will take action and try to collect. I said so we will go back to court or what? Oh no you have already been to court. I said and he isn’t paying still so we need to go back or something. Well no it will depend there are other actions they can take. I asked what?

Suspend his license, I said already did that in February

suspend pursonal or state licenses I said he don’t have them

Go after his tax return, I said already doing that and he don’t file he works under the table

She like well we can only do so much. I said why can’t we just take him back to court and put him in jail or threaten him or what? Because that is the only way he is going to ever pay. Well at the end of the month we will send a letter to his employer to have them take it out again and to him to see why he isn’t paying and he will have so many days to comply and then those are the steps we go through. They may send it back to court in 90 days if he don’t comply.

Why don’t they take him the first payment he misses and send a letter telling him to pay it or show up in court? If he keeps missing payments and haven to have letters sent to him they should make him come in and he should have to pay so much in advance ahead that way if he misses then the kids are not going without why it takes them so long to get him in court.

I don’t know what the right answer is or the answer is at all but I know that something has to change and they have to do something and get these guys on the line and make them see that they are going to be in and out of court and or jail if they do not pay. I am sure they will say they don’t have the money to put them in there all the time or more than every 90 days or what. But you know what if they didn’t have 15 people sitting around doing nothing waiting on people to come in their office maybe they could. Or maybe if they had 12 of them people each take so many cases and make sure that the parties are paying or sending them letters and going to court they could. Because they have no less than 15 people sitting around in the office just waiting for people to walk in and I have been there an hour or so before closing and I have been there in the middle of the day and right at closing. All hours of the day and there has never been more than me and 3 other people in there at any given time.

I have to go this Friday for the DNA test and I am going to talk to them in office and see if I can get anywhere or any more help than what I am going. If not I am going to call the judge and if I get no where from there I am going to go to the court and file papers myself and get it in front of the judge or go to the court house and wait and tell them I need to talk to the judge.

I want to message him or call him and say look I am going to their office Friday morning if you don’t want me to sign the papers to have you picked up then you need to make sure you have a payment in tomorrow so they can get it to me by Monday. If it isn’t the full $719 I will sign anyway. Just see if that scares him into paying. I also feel like going and seeing his grandma and calling his parents and saying look I know that you all paid this for him why he told you all this time he has been paying it but that you are wasting your time because he is still not paying and this much behind here is the site here is the information if you don’t believe me. I am going down to do what I have to do to get him back in court and get it paid or him in jail. Even if he goes to jail and does anytime it is going to just be a circle because the money don’t go away and I will not sign for it to he is still going to have to pay and it is just going to keep adding up why he is in there. maybe they will get on his ass and make him pay. because the last thing they want is for one of their kids to be in jail. That looks bad on them. If he goes I am going to make sure everyone knows too.

But most of all I just want some things changed and them to do something about this before 90 days and for all these parents men and women to get the help they should be. Not stuglling to get by and doing without and their kids doing without because they are not doing anything. Because I can tell you if it comes down to going to jail or paying many, many, many of these guys would pay. And if they knew that after just one or two weeks of missing a payment they were going to be jerked back in there and have to pay anyway or go to jail they would. It would only take a few times of making them get there and paying a lump sum to get caught up or spending some time in the jail that they would make sure if they had to sell their ass on the corner they got their child support paid. But they know now they rack up all this they have to pay a little chunk then make no more payments for months or years and nothing is done until next time they pay a little chunk and walk off again. I think if we done this half or more would get their money in and their kids would be getting the money they need and not doing without.

I am going to spend the next few days figuring out who i need to call write and go see to get something done because this is not working. If someone don’t raise enough hell and let them get away with doing things the way they are then they are not going to change the way they go after these guys either.

Until then I am going to make his life hell as well because I now as of Monday have a lot of free time in the mornings I will be watching him and reporting him when he gets in the company truck and is driving, I will be letting his boss and family know like I said that he isn’t bothering to pay. I am so done and so over it all I don’t even care anymore, what anyone thinks or feels or says about it all.

My Letter Came

The letter from child support enforcement for the DNA test me and Little Bitty have to go take. I came home to it Friday. It is for the 20th of this month. But they told me as soon as I got it we could come in anytime between getting it and the date on the letter. Since the little ones are in Summer school last week and this week we are going this Friday since their last day is Thursday. Then it is just waiting for him to go to his local office and have his done. I hope he has went or goes soon and don’t wait until the last minute. It takes two or three weeks from the time of the last test. Then they will mail it to all of us.

Once we get the test back we should get a date to go in and figure everything out of a court date to do it. I think they will try to just sit down with each of us at our local offices and do the paperwork and start it as long as we both do everything we are supposed to or asked to. At this point the test is there all there is to figure out is how much ee each are responsible for. And they will go back two years to collect as well. But there really isn’t anything to fight or contest either.

The only thing we may run into problems with is the “parenting plan” as they call it. Because she don’t know him and he isn’t getting her for weeks or months at a time for now. I don’t know if he is going to push seeing her or that kind of thing. I am going to let him know she wants to know him and have a relationship and the ball is in his court if he wants to call her and come see her.

My thing now is how to explain everything to her? If he don’t want to see or talk to her how do I handle that with her. I need to get her back into therapy. It is going to be an eventful week/weekend after doing this test with her. Even more eventful next few months with all this going on.

Back to Divorce Court

Last Thursday I think it was I went up to check on housing help. I am not only worried about right now but in 6 months when my lease is up. I am not sure I can stay here if rent goes any higher. But there is no where cheaper to get. I am looking for better jobs so I do not need help but have to have a back-up plan. Anyway

On my way up there the guy from the car lot called me. He said something about he was going to call me the night before but didn’t get off until late and Starfishes ex roommate not showing up. Then he said he had cars he needed to find and get did I have help? I told him maybe I would check into it and see.

He said he had a lady that had 2 he needed to hit and a guy up north there he needed to findout about. I told him I was headed north then to take care of somethings. He said but you don’t have papers and key or help. I told him let me take care of business and I would track it down. If I found it i come get keys. I told him be looking for a driver and I be looking for help as well. He said okay.

I took care of what I needed to called and told him to give me the guys address and the info on what I was looking for. He text me the info. The guys job was on the same street I was on. I went by but he wasn’t there.

His house was about 10 minutes or less away. I went by did not see my truck I was looking for. He told me to call when I was by the house so I called and told him. He said to go knock on the door see if I could make contact but he wouldn’t answer the door.

There was another truck and car in the drive but he had a garage so it was probably in it. I went back by his job check the parking lot across the street. I had to pass the place on my way home. I seen a truck that could be it. I thought dang I should of check there before. I park in mall lot with ton of other cars and walk across the street to work if i was at risk of repo. Of course they are going to look at your job but who is going to look at the mall? It was wrong type of truck.

He told me to come to the lot that he gotten a few things taken care of. I got there we talked he was asking me what was going on and things. He said sorry not trying to pry into your personal matters, just trying to understand what is going on if I can help you in some way. You don’t have to answer. I just don’t really know much about you, you know this one, that one, worked here, know these but we never really have talked and your stressed, I can see difference from when you and starfish were here we talked and now. You have told me a little or made comments.

I told him a little bit and that I was working on going after them for child support. That I talk to the place the other week and I needed to take them papers. He asked why I hadn’t done it? I told him I was going to take it this week.

He wanted to know why I was waiting? I told him I work Friday and get my check then. If I had enough gas I was off Monday would be able to go then.

He said just go now get it over with. He said he owed me gas for going to them places, how much did he owe me. I said not much $5/$10. He said come on now, I said I was right by his job a block away and home was 5 minutes up the road, I’m not going to rip you off because it will benefit me. I didn’t even find it muchless get it. He said so you still done the job so what do I owe you? You can’t help it he wasn’t there with it.

I said whatever you give me is fine as long as I can make it to work I am good. We went inside he got money from the desk and gave me. Said go take care of that and get it off your list and things in motion. I got to the station he given me $30. I put it in gas and went to take care of business.

There was no one there so I was able to go right and talk to someone. They took all the info for father of the year then ask if he still lived on x street. It is his street so they have the right address.

Then the fact that he is not Little Bitties dad came up. They looked at all the papers I filed it is in both of them but the judge did not sign off saying it and make it part of the finale judgement. I use to have a paper but when I had to give info to the schools they needed it now they have lost it and I don’t have it.

They said they are going to turn it over to their judicial review team and see if they will go after RC and leave father of the year alone. Or they said if not then I am going to have to go to court and ask the judge to add it to the finale judgement.

Tonight I e-mailed the judge’s Judicial Assistant. Explain my divorce involved 4 kids and what the problem is. Hopfully they can fix it without me going back to court. The judge messed it up did not go over it not me. If they give me a problem I am going to tell them look he didn’t do this right either so lets just findout who I talk to about all the mess ups in it then and what can be done about it all if thats how you want to do things.

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