Feel Like Stirring The Pot

Not just for my ex and his employer but for a lot of people’s ex’s and their employers too. I may have said this before but not sure as it has been a little bit since I was told. But I have been told that I can sue my ex’s employer since he is paying him under the table and keeping me from getting child support. I didn’t think it would be to easy to do and it would be something else to take time. But it has been in the back of my mind, I have been mauling it over when I think of it. The other night I was laying in bed thinking about it and it seems so easy but hard at the same time. I kept thinking there is something I am missing about this. I decided to go on line and look up about employers and their obligation to withhold and all that.

I found that little golden nugget of information that sparked that ah ha moment. I was trying to decide how to word it to get it to pull up the information I was looking for. After a couple of tries somethings popped up. One caught my eye it said something .gov. I always look at .gov sites over anything else if I can because they are more trusted sites.

It said something about the employer lying on court documents and what could happen if they did. It said if they say a person does not work for them, that does that is lying on court papers and the punishment that could be given for doing this.

It is just one of those little pieces of the puzzle that you don’t think about or that don’t seem like anything until you figure out that it really is and does.

I said to myself this could be in my favor all around here. If I collect pictures, video,text and anything else that I can and file papers to sue him in the court and he gets it. Then I hit him with the fact he has lied on court papers and can also end up being punished for that. Maybe he will think better of it, help father of the year pay what he is behind and start taking it out of his check and sending it in every week. (Wishful thinking I know) If he don’t want to do that then maybe it will scare him enough that he tells him he can’t keep working because he really don’t want to be involved. I don’t care what they do if he starts taking it out or truly fires him. Either way is fine with me. Because he will have to go somewhere and get a job and then he will be on the books and they can start getting something from him. If not he gets another under the table job, I will be quick to inform them why he lost his last job and that they can either comply with child support or I will go after them just like I did his other employer. I will have proof of him working there before I let them know this and send it or show it to them at the time.

If trying to find another under the table job is the route he goes and that don’t work for him then he will either just not work or again go get a job that is on the books. If he stops working fine I am not getting anything from him anyway so no different for me. But he then won’t have money to be going out to dinner, party, rent or things that he needs. Let him see what it is like to not have, let her see what it is like to lose things again and homeless or whatever happens. If he don’t do right let him do without like my kids have.

Once I figure it all out and see that I can do this and that he can get in trouble and things for doing this, I am going to make it known that it can be done. I am going to make it known everywhere I can to everyone who will listen. Because there are so many out there not getting the help with their kids that they should be and like me working two or three jobs and just getting by while so many more of these deadbeats walk around without a care.

If this works and you can do it, I am going to post it everywhere, facebook, craigslist, next door, let go and any and everywhere I can think of and let everyone know there are other ways to get things done even when child support enforcement won’t or can’t help. Check this out, lets all work together, help each other get pictures and proof of these guys working. Lets do one better than that, lets make a list of all the places these deadbeats work and make it known that they help these guys get out of paying child support and boycott them. Put it out there for everyone to know. \

Maybe this will make these places either 1 stop lying to the court and start taking the money out of their checks. 2. they will stop giving these guys jobs because they don’t want to be involved in it. So then these guys are going to either have to start paying regardless of how they work. Again have to get jobs that are not under the table or like I said not work and lose everything or figure out how to get by.

If everyone pushes this and stands up and says no more lets hold the employers accountable too maybe a lot more people will start getting at least something.

I can go even one further and point out that even if your children are grown you are still owed any and all child support you should of gotten. It is not to late to collect. Shake them up too. I am so done with these guys walking away and paying I am going to shake every tree I find to shake and stir every pot that comes along. Because if we don’t this is why this kind of things goes on and keeps going on. Someone has to stand up and say enough is enough and change things.

I figure I may as well do anything and everything I can do since child support isn’t doing anything or taking their time and doing no more than they have to. They sent him a letter on the 17th of this month saying he has 20 days to make a payment or they are going to suspend his license. What a joke, it already is from last time. Even though they gave it back he never went and got it.

Oh and the passport they were going to put a stop on, it never got done. I seen in the file this afternoon that there was some kind of mistake and it didn’t get done. Not that it matters or he was going to ever get one, but they can’t even get that right.

I am going to go for now but stay tuned once I am done researching and get the ball rolling I will keep you all updated on how things are going. Until then I will leave you with this one question to ponder…………………

And from my understanding they can not count both of my jobs when figuring out how much child support I should be getting. Because when I was looking up the laws and information about the employer I found some other information. It says when they are deciding how much child support one should pay they should not have to work two jobs to pay it. I don’t remember how it was worded but basically it said if one was working two jobs at the time, support should not be so much that they have to keep working two jobs to have to pay it. It should be figured on one. From what I see it is the one that is 40 hours or close to 40 and they can up it to 40 even if you are not making 40 in a week. But my understanding whatever one you are making the most money at is the one they use. So there for when they skipped putting my day job on my case with father of the year it was because they only use one and my night job I make the most at. There for when they told me to put both on my paperwork for the case between me and RC they were wrong there. I am going to make a day to go to the court house and talk to the lady there about it all as well because child support isn’t handling my case correctly as far as I am concerned.

But No One Was Getting HIT

I hear this when people are talking relationships and why they break up or broke up. It makes me want to scream and turns my stomach.

I am watching the Girlfrinds Guide to Divorce on Netflex

The lady is talking to her brother about getting a divorce. He is against it and thinks it is a bad idea. Which is funny because he is gay. You would think he would be one of the last ones to have a problem with it. He says he don’t understand it no one was getting hit, no one was cheating, blah blah. She says to him sorry I wasn’t getting hit. He of course says oh that wasn’t what he meant and things.

I hear this and I just want to scream. Not everyone knows if someone was or wasn’t getting hit, no one ever knew i was getting hit when I was with Father of the year. Most still don’t. Most have no idea  the ex stint of the abuse that went on. Because again no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

Why do people feel the need to justify your decisions or change your mind? How do they think telling you that you weren’t getting hit makes everything else fine?

There is a lot more reasons to end a relationship other than getting hit. I relationship needs more to survive and be healthy other than two people knowing how to keep their hands to their selves. I mean don’t we all pretty much know this and do it on a daily bases when dealing with people in our daily life? Isn’t that one of the first things we learn as kids is not to hit? Isn’t it like one of the fist rules when you start school and in every class? Keep hands and feet to yourself? We don’t say at least he wasn’t kicking you around.

I just don’t understand this, like the only people others decide to hit are their spouse or partner? Where did this idea that the only time we should get out of a relationship is if we are being hit? Why does this only apply to married couples and partners if this is the case? If we decide not to be friends with someone because we don’t like something they do, something they said, the way they treat us or just because we decided we didn’t want to, why don’t people say oh no you should still be friends because hey, they don’t hit you? Why is it okay to end any other relationship for any reason but to end a marriage or partnership we have to be getting knocked around?  We have to have black and blue marks or black eyes? Maybe we are getting out before it comes to that? maybe it has come to that and it’s been hidden? Because the person was embarrassed or just felt that it wasn’t everyone in the worlds business to know.

If someone says they are getting out of a relationship or getting a divorce they are not asking you to be okay with it, they are not asking you if it is okay, they are not asking if you agree with it or if it is what you would do. They are telling you to let you know, they are telling you to have the support, they are telling you because they feel they can confide in you and not be judged. If you are a true friend then don’t judge, don’t try to justify it, don’t try to fix it or make their decision okay. Just be there for them, listen to them, support them. If you can’t tell them that so that they can find someone who can.

Don’t try to talk someone into staying or tell them to work it out or it will get better. Because you most likely don’t know everything and what you are trying to talk them into holding onto and work out. Bff use to tell me the same thing when we first met and I told her we were in the process of separating and getting a divorce. She thought it was horrible and I needed to work it out and just hang in there it would get better. After she was around for a while and seen she even says she was wrong and feels bad for saying it and understands. Now that she is going through it she is really starting to see a lot and understand a lot more. You may feel your the bff and been around and know everything and they tell you everything but you don’t know at all. My own family didn’t know and we lived with them and next to them and everything for years. We seen them all the time. His family didn’t know, no one knew. Because we were the “perfect” family in public and around people.

He of course isn’t going to flip out and do shit in front of others when he puts on this show of being the perfect husband and father and doing no wrong. Some people are private people or don’t trust everyone. Others need to decide and figure things out on their own before everyone gets in involved. That is the route I decided to take. Nothing wrong  with either way. It is not for us to judge or decide the way others should handle things. it is just up to us to be there when they do come to us and tell us what they feel they can or should share with us.

 

Deadbeat Dad Sighting

Today me and my oldest went up to the store like we do most days before I go to work. We went and picked up the things they needed and then went over to the grocery to pick up what my mother needed. I decided to get a wrape to take to work for the day. It is so late by the time I get home I don’t feel like getting left overs out and heating everything up and some nights they eat all of it there is none.

Normally I would wait in the truck and oldest would go in. She did at the other store I was so hot. So I decided to go in with her so I wouldn’t be hot and since I was ordering food as well.

We go to the side where the deli is and are waiting in line. In a few minutes out of the corner of my eye I see a group of guys in matching bright colored shirts standing off to the side and looking at us. All crowded up together talking. Two looked kind of young the other I didn’t get a good look at as I turned back around something said look again you know him. I turned looked itnwas my ex. He looked horrible. His hair is long dirty and nasty. His beard or attempt to grow one was dirty and nasty.

I stepped around to my oldest and whispered in her ear because she had not seen them or me looking at them. I said there is your dad standing right over there. If you want to talk to him or say anything to him go ahead and do it. Because she was asking me to take her to see him she wanted to talk to him last week. She said no no I don’t want to. I said that is fine but if you do go ahead there is nothing wrong with it. She said he might start or what he would say. I told her he would not start anything or say anything at all because of us being in the store he dont want to look like the ass he is. She said no she had nothing to say to him she didn’t want anything to do with him.

I looked up he took off went to the back of the store and down the back by the meat and things. I told her he is hiding until we leave or went to the truck to hide. Sorry ass standing 4 ft if that from us. Then a couple of the guys got in line for their food. I said loud enough for them to hear me so daddy he is not had any contact with his kids in a year and a half then stand two foot from her and runs to hide. Everyone looked, they just stood there not knowing what to say because I looked right in their direction and said it.

We got our food I walked right to the back of the store the way he went we walked all the store and came back up to the service desk to check out right in the front. I told her he will be back at the counter or sitting in the truck. Sure enough he went up the aile and ran back to the deli and was in line to get his food with the other guy.

I said ok that is fine we are going to wait until he comes out in a minute drive right up take a picture of him getting in the company’s truck with all the guys in their matching shirts. Let his boss and him tell the courts he isn’t working then. We drove around found the truck so I could sit outbof sight but close enough to get pictures and pull up before he left. As I came past the store I seen them all sitting at tables inside eating instead of coming out. Done I parked my truck got out and walked my ass right back into the store.

I turned my phone on to record as we were walking through the store and over to him. Him and about 6 or 8 of the guys were there sitting and eating by then. They all looked like oh shit when they seen me and my oldest walk around the corner. I know they seen us drive by the truck was laughing because they weren’t coming out. Thought i would go on and not come in I am sure.

I just smiled at them all walked right up to the table to deadbeat and said look here is the deal you know we don’t want to be here we want to leave and move. If I pay for it all and go to court will you just sign your rights up and leave is alone? Again the wow shit she just walked in and said this just matter of fact in front of everyone. He had this look of I don’t know what on his face and says uh um can we talk about this outside? I said well I was going to but you ran and was hiding and then didn’t come out, so I came to you. He jumped up and headed outside.

I some how got infront of him and oldest got mixed in the shuffle. I was in a hurry because I had to get to work. I heard him behind me say something to oldest and turned to look. I guess he tried to give her a hug or something she was ducking back and pulling away and just stopped walking. She started crying her eyes out. I told her come up there with me walk with me. She didn’t even want to walk past him to get to me or get close to him. I moved around that made him have to move further away and me netween them. I took her hand and pulled her up to by me we walked out into the lobby area of the store. I gave her the keys and told her to go get in the truck gave her a hug. He was saying I love you, I love you she couldn’t even look at him.

By now we are outside the door of the store he starts about why do you want me to sign my rights up? You know I love them. I said look it has been a year and a half since you seen or spoke to them and your not paying a dime. He says almost a year and a half not yet though. I am already mad and been shaking since we first seen him. That just went through me. It has been 15 months!!!! Are we really going to really split hairs over 15 vs. 18??? Really??? It should not even be a question of any months much less 15 vs. 18!!

I said she is crying her eyes out because you have had nothing to do with them it is Summer time and they have gotten to do nothing because I been working three jobs to just keep bills paid. I lost two of those and hardly keeping things going. They can’t go anywhere do anything doing without things they need like clothes and everything else.

He says why haven’t you brought them to the house? They can come over there. I said they do not want to come to your house they do not want to be around her. They don’t want to stay with her or have anything to do with her or see her. They don’t want to stay with you and at your house either.

This point we have moved from infront of the door to the store to my truck.

You have not been in their life for a year and a half you think your going step back in like nothing happen. No I understand. I said I need to move somewhere I have help, I need to move somewhere me and these kids can afford to live and not struggle. You need to sign over full custody or your rights so that I can do that. Okay okay I will sighn over full custody. I will go to the court house next week and get the papers and fill them out and get them turned in and do what I have to do to take care of that. I said I can do like allf the kids are telling me to and just up and leave and tell you nothing. Like they said you wouldn’t know if we are still in the county or moved 10 states away. I said but I am trying to do everything legally. I said like Elisha said he is going to go to court and tell the judge my dad is not in my life he has nothing to do with us and we want to live with our mom and we want to move out of state and we are going to go no matter what the judge says because my daddy has no say in my life anymore he ran away from us and has nothing to do with us. He again said okay I am going to get it taken care of.

Something was said about child support I said I still can not afford to live here even with it and we don’t want to. He said I know I will see what I can do start bringing you money this week get the papers taken care of next week. I said how much? He said I can probably do $100 a week. I said you are over $6000 behind that was last I figured it up its been a while. $100 hardly pays what you owe in a month. You need to be paying like $200 a week. He said I can’t do that. I said you need to figure out how you are going to get me caught up you need to give me more than $100 a week. He said he could try to do $150. He ask if he could come Saturday and see the kids and bring me money? Said he gets off late on Friday unless I wanted him to bring it late when he got off. I said no you need to get a hold of me and set something up. I work the weekends and we will have to figure out how you are going to see the kids when I am off and how they want to see you if they do. I said she better not come to my house even to drop money off nothing at all. The kids do not want her around and as for seeing you it is all 10p% up to them if and when and how and it will be on my days off. I figure I need to be off so that if they want to come home something happens they can call me and let me know and I can make him bring them home or go get them. If I am at work he can take them home or go get her and take her out with them that isn’t going to fly. If Ibam off I can go get them if he pulls that.

He said something about not letting him see them. I said oh no no do not even go there. I said you know where they are I have never told you, you could not see them. I have never kept them from you. I said you walk right by them going in and out of stores and everything else just like today and not say a word to them. I do not I haven’t seen them in a year and a HALF he says. I said yes this day at this store you did this. I didn’t see her in the truck. I said yes you did you drove around my truck looked at her and drove away. This store you walked right by her ran jumped in the car with your druggie buddy and left. What druggie buddy? I said the one you were stuck to like glue that came in my job and tried to get me fired. Oh him i don’t talk to him or hangout with him since I foundout he was a piece of shit. I said your right there with him don’t speak to your kids see them or pay a dime for a year and a half. He didn’t say anything.

I said and why you tell people he adopted my daughter your paying support on all 4 and I am not letting you see them that is a lie you know it and you need to stop telling people that. I didn’t, I didn’t that never came out of my mouth. I said well I have heard it from a few people now and that better come to a stop.

The subject of paying me and all that came up again he started saying something. I said well if I take you to court you are going to lose your license and go to jail so you better figure something out. And I have the paper all filled out to send irs to let them know how your boss is working everyone of you under the table and no one is paying taxes or anything. You all have no idea what me and these kids have gone through to survive the last year and a half and gone without and everything else. Lets see how itvis when you all have no job and he has to answer to irs. Why everyone thought it would be funny to sit and let us struggle. Okay i will get it taken care of I will get the papers turned in in the courts for custody. Then tells me his phone is dead he can’t use it he needs a new one. I said so you had all this extra money in the last year and a half you should of bought one. I don’t care what you have dont have or need. You better get a hold of me and do everything you said because I have the paper right in this box and i will turn it in.

I am sure it is probably a bunch of empty promises as always. But I have given him a chance and when i turn the papers in he goes to jail has no license and his boss is in trouble with the irs. They all come at me with what, why and everything. I have it all recorded what was talked about and supposed to be done. So he didn’t hold up his end of the deal then I held up mine. He didn’t care enough about his kids job or boss to do what needed to be done then why should I care?

He started again about going to child support enforcement. I said I can’t because your working under the table and your boss lies says you dont work there. I said why do i need to go there? You know what you owe you know when and where your kids are why don’t you just give it to them? He didn’t say anything. Thinking about it now if I go to them they are going to take it right from his check before be see’s it. If he has to bring it to me give it to me then he has to fight with her about giving it to me and how much and bringing it to me and her not coming with him. I bet he don’t tell her he seen me today and he don’t tell her he is going to come see them or bring them money. I bet he tells her he has to work Saturday and his check was short or he lent someone money. To stay out of trouble with her.

I don’t care, they went behind mine and my kids back and done us this way, I do not have to welcome her to my house or tell my kids they have to go around her. If he don’t get a hold of me Saturday like he said I am going to turn boss in. If I see him saturday, I am going to tell him you know what you owe all this we have struggled the last year and a half why you spent you need to get a lone from somewhere and give me a good chunk of it back and make payments to whoever because the kids need stuff now not $50 a week. Or i will go to court so they can tell you to pay the chunk now and go from there.

All Families Look Different

Yesterday I had to have a talk with Miss. Little Bitty, she got in the truck from school and started talking about her teacher and her and how they have a daddy that does this and that. How lucky they were to have a daddy at their house. I have told her that Father of the Year is not her dad I always tell her when she says it and have told her, her dads name. But she has never really asked about him, she has talked about his what his house is like I just told her I didn’t know he lived far away now I had not seen it or talked to him in a long time.

Friday I just told her that all families look different, some just have a mommy, some just have a daddy, others have grandma’s and grandpa’s while some have an aunt or uncle. I told her that sometimes daddies do things or are around people that the kids shouldn’t be and so they keep it away from the kids to keep them safe. I told her it isn’t just daddies, sometimes mommies do the same thing. I told her she don’t have to worry I would never leave her and would always be her for her.

I told her that I knew that her daddy thought about her a lot and that he loved her even if he wasn’t here to tell her or be with her. I told her that maybe some day he would come back down this way and she would get to meet him or that she could maybe try to find him when she was older and contact him. She just said okay that she loved me and was glad that I was her mommy. She so little but smart as a whip, I was a little surprised that she didn’t ask if she could try to get a hold of him right now but she didn’t. I know she is still a little confused with Father of the Year and her dad since she hasn’t seen him. But she understands her dad is someone different than him. I have heard her telling the other kids since our first talk before that she had a different dad and things.

Seen A Friend

Friday night me and my friend took her two little ones and my 4 to the trunk or treat at Little Bitty’s school. We were leaving and a guy called my name. I turned and looked and it was a guy I worked with at Mc Donald’s. I stopped and went back he came up and gave me a big hug and was asking how I was doing and everything. I was kind of surprised that he hugged me as we talked at work here and there a few times and we say things in passing or ask each other to do this or that or something but nothing like we were close or anything. I enterduced the kids and we were talking about the event and things. He said it was the only thing he could find to bring his kids and their friends to that wasn’t for 12 and under.

We got onto the subject of work he said well they have hired 10 new people since you left and 15 have left, you can do the math. I said well you know I told her I would do this shift so I could get in and get out two bosses thought it was great but the one with the final say didn’t so. It wasn’t like I was asking for someone else shift or for them to make an opening on that shift, they had no one to cover that shift as it was so it would have worked good. I also told him that because of the other manager was also why I left. That it was to the point that it wasn’t going to end well between me and her we were going to end up having words or something and I would be out of there anyway. He said she is on her way out because of the way she talks to people and treats people. He said he had it out with her and I told him I told the other boss about them getting into it that he hadn’t done nothing wrong she just got nasty with him how she had talked to me that day already that I was ready to leave. I told him that we are adults a lot older than her that we are not stupid and do not need someone standing over us like we are two and that we are not going to be talked to and treated like we are, that we come in do our work are told every day by all the other bosses what a great job we are doing then she is the only one that acts that way because she is on a power trip and it isn’t going to go over well. He said no and others had told them they were leaving and left because of her as well so they are not happy with her and she is on her way out real soon. He said he is finally down to 5 days a week they had him working 7 days a week and crazy hours and over time.

I find it funny that these places let one employee run off many good ones before they do something about it or get rid of them. I think the only reason he is still there is because he is making more than me and don’t have to work with her as directly as I had to. He can kind of avoid her and deal with the other bosses. Or even let them go because they want to change shifts and you don’t like it because you can be all high and might ruler and decide what shift they get. Instead why not say okay it is open lets train you and see how you do? Rather than now have to find someone for that shift and the one you put the in that they could not do so they left. It is the truth all the bosses there but the one would tell me every day how good of a job i was doing and how great it was that I was picking it up so fast for not having much training and things.

Don’t Care

I’m sitting here eating and watching tv with the kids and see I have a message from Wanda, saying Father of the Year wanted to know what I wanted? I told her that he needed to get a hold of me I was not going to play this go between game and have to go through her to talk to him when ever I needed something that it had nothing to do with her. I told her to tell him he needed to call me. She said he could call me from her facebook. I said why can’t he just call me? She said he didn’t have a phone I told her he did he was on line enough. Why couldn’t he call me from his why did it need to go through her? About that time my phone started ringing it was her and I answered it expecting it to be her but it wasn’t it was him.

What did you want you left a message at my job? I said yeah I did what do you mean what do I want? I said I want to know why you have not given me a address and phone number like you were supposed to do with in 24 hours? Why have you not given it to the courts with in 7 days like your supposed to? I don’t have a phone I haven’t had money to get one and I don’t have a place yet he says. I said your staying somewhere and where every your staying your supposed to give. I don’t want you hurassing me where I am. I said I am not trying to bother you were you are but I have no way of getting a hold of you if something happens to one of these kids and I will not be contacting her going between her to let you know if something is wrong or if something happens. Well I don’t have a phone I guess you can get a hold of me on here. I said no I can’t you have me blocked and you know it. He said I don’t know I will have to look at it later and see about getting that undone. I said and when are you going to give me what you owe me for the kids they need stuff? I will have to see I don’t have money that’s why I don’t have a phone and things now. I said you have close to three grand why don’t you have money and a phone? I have had to buy stuff and things he said. I said well the kids need things too and you owe them. Well I will give it to you when I can. I said I need to know when you are going to give me something. Then he starts yelling at me to just take him to child support enforcement and things. I said so basically what you are saying is you do not care if I can get a hold of you if something was to happen to one of the kids. You do not care that they are sitting here doing without things and need things and may be homeless yet again because of you? He started yelling having a fit and hung up on me.

I said to him you had a grand when you left and you had two checks then you should have no problem giving me the little bit you owe the kids. Not like I am even asking for anything more than what he owes me and things. That is when he started about he had to buy things and pay things. If you have no place to live the only bill you have is your car insurance and food how do you go through almost a grand a week? I was going to tell him too how he has effected my Little Guy and other things as well but he hung up to fast. I also told him if I had to take this back to court I was not going to go to child support I was going to take it to court file contempt on him for not giving me the information, the court the information and everything else. Fine I don’t care do whatever you have to do.

He also asked me about filing his taxes and getting that money back and taking that to cover what he owes me. I told him it would take to long to get that back I needed the money before it would get here. Well I don’t know I will see what I can do then. That is when I asked him when he was going to let me know I needed to know now not in weeks from now? That is when he told me to take it to child support and do what I needed to do. I asked him about their birth certificates and things he swears he don’t have them. I told him I was making a police report and listing them as the only two people who had been in my house so if they got used it would come back on them. I don’t care go ahead they are probably in your truck why don’t you go look there? I said I did and all over the place and the last place I had them was where they are kept and no one been in my house or knows that but you two. I have to look around here a little more but I really do not think they are here and if they are not then I know that he has to have them.

Starting To Wonder

It is amazing the things you start to put together when you just take a day and do nothing at all but lay around? I went to bed around 11 last night it is almost 4 and I have done nothing at all but sit around here looking at my phone or computer or sleeping. The kids have been watching tv, sleeping or playing on the computer.

I started thinking about this mess with Father of the Year, my sister messaged ask if he came by gave me any of the money he owed me or anything. I told her no and what happen Thursday night. We were talking about it, she asked if I had a way to get a hold of him or if he still had me blocked and not giving me his number. I said I still had no way to get a hold of him. I am wondering now if she didn’t block me not him and that is what she thinks she is going to force me to do? It isn’t going to happen.

Then I was thinking about it and Wanda did not block me, I can still message her and she reads them but no one ever responds because I sent her a few at the be gaining. She did just what her ex’s new old lady did to her to me, she had him change his number and not give it to her, she blocked her from contacting him any other ways as well, when ever she wanted to see or talk to the kids or needed something from them about the kids she had to go through his old lady not him. The only difference is they had the kids she did not. Well I got news for her I will not be going through her to get a hold of him about my kids or anything else that I may need to get a hold of him for. I got news for him I will not be doing that either and if he wants to see or talk to my kids and for sure thinks he will ever take my kids I will have a good number for him and an address for him. When I need to get a hold of my kids or him about my kids I will be doing it through him not her. If either one of them have a problem with that then he can forget having my kids or seeing them and if something happens when they are with me he can forget knowing anything about it until he decides to contact me because I am not going to be contacting her or his family to track him down and get a message to him. The courts say he has to give me his number and address if he wants to take my kids just like I have to keep mine updated with him. They do not say I have to go through his whore it says I to let him know he is to let me know. That is how it will be or else he won’t be seeing them or having them.

Not Voting

For those that have been following my blog know what has been going on with my Little Guy at school with his teacher. For those just joining or who missed it you can read about it here Third Party or here Baby Killer. As I said before this is not about who you vote/voted for or how you feel about either one. I could careless as I it is everyone’s right to vote and vote for who they want to vote for or not to vote and to feel however they would like about everyone involved. It is none of my business or anyone else here or anywhere else. Just as this teacher should not be pushing this on these kids who are not even old enough to truly understand it all and give a biased view on it all to top it off.

This is is what he told me when he got in the truck today. He was proud of himself too and I am glade he was and stood up for himself and did not let the teacher push him into something just because he was a “child” He has his opinions and thoughts and he stood by them. I hope he continues to be as outspoken and stand up for himself as he gets older. It took me a long time to stand up for myself, what I wanted or believed and how I felt about things. Life would have been much easier if I had started out young and stayed with it. I was the peace keeper and go with the flow until a lot later in life.

I am really over this teacher trying to pushing this “voting” thing with my kid. He said they voted today and he did not vote, she told him he HAD to vote for one or the other. He told her he didn’t want to vote for either one and she kept pushing him that he had to. Ofcourse he wasn’t going to vote for Hillary when she told him she was a baby killer and he told her he didn’t like Trump he picked on people. She told him she didn’t believe him. He told her he wasn’t voting for either one. He stood his ground and didn’t. These are kindergarten kids, its great you want to teach about the election but to only push one person and bash the other and not tell them all their options is not right. This is not teaching them anything or preparing them for when they are old enough to vote. If you are truly preparing them to vote and what the election is all about you do not only tell them about all the bad from one party nothing good, nothing good or bad about the other party or that there are two other people to vote for. You do not tell them they have to vote they can’t not vote. It is their right to not vote just as it is everyone else right to vote. He has heard what you had to say and seen what he did on tv and decided on his own who to vote for not prompting from anyone. If they do not like that then to bad. It isn’t like it really counts and they are little kids they should not have to be worried about voting and what each party stands for anyway. He has plenty of time to worry about all that in 12 years when he is old enough to vote and really understand and can research and decide for himself.

Little Bitty’s Extensive Blood Work Up

A couple weeks ago I took Little Bitty to the doctor because she wasn’t able to go to the bathroom. She has been for it before but what they gave her wasn’t working. While we were there I thought about it and told the doctor how she likes to try and eat hair, and lotion among other things. And she licks things that aren’t food.

She said Pica right away, and said it could be from a deficiency. She ordered blood work. Well that is when the breaks when out on my truck so we just got the blood work done last week. When we got to the lab they said that it was an extensive amount of blood work. They weren’t even sure they could get it all in one day. They said we would need to come back for part of it in a few days probably.

She sat really still and did really good when they stuck her. She didn’t try to pull away or fight them. She started to cry a little and I think she would have stopped and been ok just as quick if they had gotten the vain right away. But they had to poke around and look for the vain once they stuck her, we all know how much that hurts. So she cried but still didn’t pull or fight. Once they got the vain the blood flowed really good and they were able to get it all since she didn’t fight and it was coming out so good.

When we got to the doctor yesterday she went over it all with us. She did do a lot of test probably just about any one you could do. She did a bunch of liver test, mono test, mono antibody test, iron she really checked everything.

She said that the liver test came back negative nothing to worry about there. She said a few other things came back high or low but that was normal for her age and that they were only points in being high or low nothing major it could just be her normal because they were well in the normal range.

She said she had mono antibodies but did not show having mono or ever having mono. She seemed a little confused by that but wasn’t worried about it antibodies are good to have to things. I had mono just a few months before getting pregnant with her I may not have even been 100% over it when I got pregnant with her it was that close. So maybe she picked them up that way some how I don’t know.

She said her immune systom was a little low but she said for her age was normal. She hasn’t had any major illness to make it really kick in. She said it shows a little lower in kids who are not vaccinated as well but that it was still in the normal range nothing to worry about only a little low.

The only thing she is worried about is her iron level. It was 101 they 114/115 is bad. We can no pin point where she is getting so much iron from since she don’t eat a lot of meat and things like that. She drinks a lot of milk and she said in kids who drink a lot of milk it is low most the time. We have to keep track of what she is eating so we can figure it out. We have to go back in three months for more testing. I am worried it may to high in that three months since we can’t say oh she eats a lot of X and that is probably where it is coming from or she gets vitamins with it in it we can stop that. We got back in October I think I am going to ask her to do the test and check it again then. I am going to keep a list of the things she eats and drinks for a couple weeks and take it in and go over it with her also.

Other than that she wants us to actively start trying to get her to gain weight. She said she is healthy but she isn’t gaining like she would like she wants us to start giving her things that are high calorie. She said it isn’t effecting her right now but she don’t want it to if she don’t start putting on more on her own. My first go to would be Mighty Milk but she can’t have a lot of milk since she is having problems going to the bathroom. I am putting together other things she can eat that will help but have to make sure it also don’t have to much iron in it since she can’t have iron to much right now. I’m not horribly worried about her weight. I think she is just a little bitty and will catch up or at least grow and be ok.

Let God Decide

I was at the home school play date Thursday and there was two other families there. One I met when I started looking at homeschooling and has helped me with things when I have questions or trying to figure things out. She has two or three daughters two I think. She only has the one at home that I have met why I’m not sure. There was another woman there with some of her kids she has 7 all together. We were walking the trail on one with the one little girl was holding my little bitty she said she wanted more but couldn’t have them or it would be hard to have one because of health problems she had and her age. I said I was 100% sure I am done. The woman with 7 kids said what if I met someone and decided to get married again or what and they wanted kids. I said I didn’t want to take that chance again after everything I had been through with father of the year and RC. She said like most do you know you never know you may change your mind and things. To just leave it in gods hands and he would give me what I was meant to have.

Now it has me thinking. I always for as long as I could remember wanted 4 kids. When father of the year lost his job right after we bought our house and didn’t find one for so long I decided that 2 was ok. Then along came my Little guy and I figured I had 3 I would have a 4 once things settled and I met someone else. I knew I was not having any more kids with father of the year. I don’t remember even being with him when I got pregnant with my little guy. Things were so bad then between us. I had not planed on having my little bitty when I did. I did not want to have a baby at that time at all. It was the last thing I was thinking about doing when I got with RC. But it happen and I love her to death and wouldn’t change it. But I wanted to wait until we been together for a little while and then think about it. But anyway we all know how that ended up. If not just read the back post over the last what 2 or 3 years.

I have said sense I had my little bitty that if I met someone who didn’t have kids that wanted them it wouldn’t work between us because I don’t want to have any more. That is one of the first things I want to know if I am going to start talking to someone. No since in getting into something when we want two different things. But then talking to her or not even talking but that little comment in a passing conversation has me thinking. Am I wrong for not wanting any more? Is it wrong to not want to get with someone who wants kids or more kids? Am I just passing over a group of guys that maybe Mr. Right is in because of this? Are we really meant to leave it to god and let him decide how many kids we have? I am going to have to research that. I don’t agree with these girls or guys that have a bunch of different kids by a bunch of different people. But if I really met someone and decided to remarry or make some thing to them is it wrong to not want any more kids? I looking at it as I can get with this person and we can say ok we love each other and want to spend the rest of our life together or even get married and still end up not being together in 4 or 5 years or 10 years done the road. I marred father of the year and that was supposed to be it for life and look where we are. Then we have RC who everything was wonderful he wanted me to adopt his kids and all this and then few days later he is done. There is no 100% someone is going to stay even if you are 100% committed to the relationship. I don’t want to put another child thought that. Another reason I don’t know that I want to even live together or for my kids to even know I am seeing someone and to meet them. I don’t want them to get use to someone being there like they did with RC and then they up and leave or what.

I was set one starting to check out forms of permanent birth control here soon. I had already been looking at a few and was going to start researching what would be best for me. That is huge because I always said I wouldn’t do that because of the risk of getting my tubes tied but they have other things now so I figured I would check that out. Just to make sure there are no accidents or scares and to put my mind at easy with everything. Then it couldn’t be a topic of conversation up for debate when I met someone because I couldn’t have any more. I would love to do foster care or adopt. But it is also something I would look at on my own not because I had someone in my life or because someone else wanted it. I think I am going to have to really think about this and what I really want. I fell that if I was so sure that I wanted to do this then why has her comment made me think twice about things? Why do I keep thinking about it and not as 100% sure about my decision to look into birth control. I could do a birth control that isn’t permanent but I have tried different ones in the past and they didn’t work for me. I was always sick and moody and I got pregnant with my first on birth control.

I just don’t know why this is bothering me so much.