{September 8, 2018}   Ugh, I Did It Again

I slept in and had coffee this afternoon/evening. I stopped on my way to work and picked one up. I am back in this coffee drinking mood again. Not really that I felt I needed it to wake up or stay awake. I just wanted it. Then since I am going to work and don’t want to but 2 drinks, I just get a large that will last the evening. It isn’t so bad when it is the bottled Starbucks because it don’t have caffeine in it. But not the taste I have wanted lately and I really do not need to spend that amount on them. I really have to stop doing this as it is 3 am and I am wide awake. I have things to do tomorrow then going out. Its going to be a long day/night tomorrow.

{January 20, 2017}   Lazy, Rude, Disrespectful

There are about to be some big changes in this house this coming week or two and there are going to be some very unhappy kids. I do not care at this point. I am tired of them being so lazy, rude and all around disrespectful. I am not hard on my kids I expect them to listen, to clean up after their-selves, do their chores and just act like humans not animals. Don’t get me wrong they are well behaved and respectful everywhere and with everyone but at home and I am done with it. They act liked ungrateful lazy ass brats at home. My house is always a mess and/or cluttered. I can go through here and clean it from top to bottom and it can sparkle and with in 24 to 48 hours it is trashed you would never know I cleaned it just a day or two before. There will be toys all over, cups and papers, packages, empty bottles or whatever all over the place. They have very simple rules and chores and they refuse to follow them or do them. It is a battle all the time. Now even the simplest things that I tell them to do they act like I am not even here and never said a word to them. I was so pissed off tonight I told them you don’t want to listen and do the simple things you are asked or told to do and you want to be disrespectful of me and ignore me like I am not here then pack your stuff and get out. I don’t know where you are going to go I don’t care where you go just pack it and get out because I am not living with it anymore. I told them at 7 to get read for bed and get in bed. They had some chores and things to do so I figured it be maybe 8 by the time they got in bed after they did them and drug their feet and toddle off in between and took their time. If they just done them and got in bed it would be 730 or before because it wasn’t that much to do. They had no idea what time it was they thought it was later than that. So not like they just didn’t want to go to bed early. At 9 they were still up running around the house fighting complaining and making a mess instead of cleaning up. That is when I lost it and told them to get in bed now if they didn’t like it here they were free to move.

The oldest will be 13 a week from Monday her chores are to

put the food away after dinner and to load the dishwasher make sure the kitchen is wiped down and cleaned up’

Keep her room clean, she says it is her sisters mess and she trashed it but when I go in there every dresser night stand and anything else in there is piled high falling off with all kinds of random shit. her newspaper for the birds everywhere and other stuff all over.

wash her clothes at least once a week more if she needs something that she didn’t wash or already used and her bed stuff. Her basket is always running over and clothes all over the floor.

she is good about picking her stuff up out of the bathroom after her shower

she vacuums or mops the floors

Her birds are all hers to take care of she wanted them bought them with her own money they are her pet not family pet. She is supposed to clean their cage once a week. I think it has been 3 or 4 weeks since she has cleaned it. She feeds them and gives them water everyday at least.

Next in line Mr. King of Lazy my 11 year old his chores are

to take the trash and things out to the cans and make sure they are put out to the road and brought in. His brother helps with this.

Unload the dishwasher and help put food away

vacuum or mop

wash his clothes and bed once a week. His basket isn’t even in his room anymore not sure where it is and his clothes are all over his floor.

Clean his room

pick up his dirty clothes out of the bathroom and make sure it isn’t swimming in water when he gets done after his bath. His clothes are always laying in the bathroom floor in a puddle of water.

Mr. 6 helps a little everywhere and where he is needed

his main thing is taking out the trash with his brother

picking his stuff up in the bathroom when he is done put the tub toys in the bin not in the bottom of the tub

he likes to feather dust

help keep his room cleaned and his stuff put away not laying around the hosue

Miss. 3 almost 4

She helps feather dust

sometimes helps with trash

helps with the dogs feeding them

None of their chores are hard or take that long to do. Yet there are always dishes left in my kitchen, clothes in the bathroom, toys all in the tub, trash and mess everywhere. They get mad and complain about all they have to do. I know all kids complain and have to be reminded but this is beyond normal kids having to be reminded. They are reminded many times a day I didn’t give them set times to do stuff they can do it when they want to or when I have time and start cleaning I tell them to come do their chores so it will all be done. I expect them to be done every day. Then I can tell them and tell them since they won’t just do it without being told but they act as if i never said anything until I am freaking out and jumping on them. Then they want to get all upset and cry and say I am yelling at them. Well i have asked and told you to do the same 2 minute chore for 5 days now and you haven’t done it or any of the others. Some only get done once a week not even daily and they still just act like i never said a word.

We have a new rule now if they do not get their chores done at night they have to get up early before school and do them. This has helped some with things. I have been trying to clean up and get stuff back in order and help them keep them from having to clean up the huge mess they have made but they still don’t want to listen. I am going to one more time tomorrow try and get them to help clean up and things done. If they do not want to help I am going to just give them jobs and if they don’t finish them they will be up bright and early Saturday cleaning it up.

As for the over all not listening and fighting I am putting a stop to that too. I am working on what to do to put a stop to it. I think from now on if they don’t want to go to bed they can stand in the corner, if they want to fight or cause problems with their siblings they can start doing nice things for them. Clean their room, do their chores or whatever the other wants them to do if they started it. They will also start writing lines when they don’t list to me and ignore me like I am not here and didn’t say anything. If they don’t get them done they can get up early to do them as well. I may just make it a rule they have to get up early before school and write them just because I know they don’t like to get up early.

I have tried taking things away, rewarding for doing their jobs, taking all their stuff away taking tv away none of it works so now we need something that will work.

{December 17, 2016}   Canceling Christmas

I am so tired of the kids being lazy and not doing their chores. I understand this week we have not been home a lot and busy. But they always complain and always half doing them. They slept in today because there was no school, I didn’t mind I needed sleep too after being up for two days. They got up and watched tv or whatever for a little bit. I then got them all together and told them they needed to get their chores done. I told them they needed to be done by 1pm. It was 10:10. They started about wanting to eat and a drink, nothing new always their go to when they don’t want to do something or have to do chores. I told them we would call it 10:30 chores needed to be done by 1 they had the extra time they could use to clean or eat whatever they wanted but they needed to be done by 1. It is 1:15 and the kitchen is still half picked up the floors have not been mopped. my little one still has stuff everywhere. She just feels she don’t need to pick it up.

I keep telling them we will not put a tree up if this stuff is not done and that we will not do Christmas. They get all mad at me like it is my fault. They have had time to work on them through the week. Maybe not a lot but some time and they have all the time I have given them today. Like I said it isn’t just today this week or what it is all the time everyday. I am just so over it.

I have ran for the last few weeks ragged trying to make sure they have all they need for school and been at the schools for them to see their show drive for their field trip and go with them make food for their parties all while trying to figure out where their Christmas is going to come from if they are going to have a Christmas and everything else. They don’t seem to care about anything but being lazy. They don’t care how the house looks that they made most the mess because they are to lazy to put their stuff away take their dishes to the kitchen, pick their trash up off the table, clean up if they spill something or pick up their rooms. They don’t seem to care what all I am doing or do for them. But then if I don’t do it they get mad or upset. They just act like it is no big deal, mom can kill herself doing for us and making sure everything is great for us but we can’t even have enough respect for mom to not trash the house or to do or chores to help mom out. When she ask we are going to cry and complain.

I just want to leave, pick up my car keys walk out and leave them all here. I don’t know where I would go, what I would do or when I would come back. Because frankly right now I do not want to be around them much less in the same house as them. The don’t give a shit, no respect all that mom does don’t matter attitude just pisses me off to no end. I know they are kids but my older two are old enough to know better and know not to act that way or be that way. My little two may not understand fully but they also know to listen and do what they are asked or told to do and they are just looking for things to do get into and trouble to cause. I feel like putting the tree up and putting the Christmas stuff out but I can’t in their mess. I so want to just cancel Christmas and give them nothing and not let anyone give them anything and pick up all this stuff and throw it away.

I am just so tired of doing and running my self to death and no one thinks twice or cares unless it don’t get done. I never have 5 minutes to do anything for myself or that I want to do or free time. I just feel like calling Father of the Year and telling him he has to come get them and keep them for a week or two since it is Christmas break but I know he won’t or telling him he needs to get a sitter for the time he should have them if he isn’t but he won’t do that either.

I just want a break for a few days I just want someone to do things with and to talk to someone to care about me for a change. I am tired of no one ever doing what they are supposed to or caring and leaving it all to me to do. I am tired of no one doing what they are supposed to do and doing it all and then still having to deal with them and have them in the picture. I am just feeling very aggravated, pissed off and angry today. Anyone around is just making it worse.

{November 13, 2016}   Hostage Negation

I am tired of the kids trashing the house and not caring about things or that someone has to clean it. They all have chores that are basic things like cleaning up after yourself and helping because you live here and it’s what you do. Then they had chores they could get paid money for. They never get past the normal day to day things they need to do to get to the paid ones. They have to do the day to day ones to be able to do the ones they get paid for, and they must do them without being reminded a thousand times, fighting about it or taking forever. This keeps them from just doing the chores to make money and not the others.

They do not care they will leave the day to day chores for weeks if I do not raise my voice and terrify them and even that don’t seem to bother them. They do things like help make dinner and take out the trash but that is about it.

We just cleaned everything off the floors and mopped them Wednesday afternoon and today there is trash, toys and everything else under and around stuff. I am so tired of every time I look around seeing mess every where and the floors needing to be mopped every day. The two older ones no better and I think they are worse than the younger ones. Then they cry about cleaning it up.

Today I am holding all their favorite stuffed animals that they sleep with hostage until they get this house in order, the floors cleaned up and the dogs bathed. If they don’t do it they don’t have their stuffed animal or watch tv. I am still having to stay on them to do it.

I know part of it is because I have been feeling so bad that I have been to lax on them lately. But my older two are old enough to know better and to want to live better than this. They need to set an example for the little two. Even not feeling good and being lax I have not been letting things go. I have still been cleaning and trying to keep up with things. They may have been let go longer between being done but they been being done. Most things get done every few days I been letting things go and just doing them weekly or as needed when we had time. Some of it just seems like no matter how much we work on and do it never ends, like mopping the floors and washing laundry or keeping the kitchen clean.

I feel like I am after them to do the things they are supposed to do that I don’t get other stuff done. If they would just do the things they are supposed to do then we would have time to spend to get the rest caught up and it wouldn’t seem like we never get a break between stuff or it is never done. I get so aggravated with them for not doing the simple things they need to do that I don’t feel like doing anything because why do it if no one cares and is just as happy living in a pig pen? I know I can’t think that way but it is how I feel anymore.

I know it isn’t to much or things they can’t do or shouldn’t be doing. We have talked about it with the therapist and she has even told them all that the things that I ask of them is nothing compared to what some of the kids she see’s are asked to do and that with all I do for them and clubs and things that they are lucky. Most kids do way more than they do in chores and cleaning and don’t do any of the kinds of things they get to do or go the places they get to go. They still don’t care.

They clean a little then come and want to know if they can have their stuff back or not. I keep telling them not until the job is done and that it would take less time if they stop coming to ask for their stuff every few minutes. Now they are running around playing instead of doing it because mom isn’t on their butt and standing over them to make them do it. Mom is doing something else so we should have a free for all through the house instead. Then cry when we can’t have our stuff back. I am going to go find a bag for the vacuum so the floors can be vacuumed and mopped.

And now I guess deal with a “broken” foot that needs a band aid.

I am trying to decide is it just my kids or all kids really lazy or dose it just seem they are. I have talked about this before a little but it is really starting to truly just piss me off that they flat out refuse to do anything at all and nothing I say or do to try to get them to do it seems to matter.

I think it is more the out and out disrespect they show. The disrespect to me by just ignoring me, the disrespect of the way they treat their things, the disrespect for the house over all if that makes since. They don’t care if something gets broken or damaged, they don’t care that I go out of my way to make sure they have nice things or get to do things even though money is so tight. That I do with out a lot of things or for go a lot of things so that they can have things. When they get it it’s tossed her there and everywhere to get broken or messed up. My oldest wanted an air hog helicopter for Christmas. I don’t think she has ever used it and I don’t think at this point she could use it if she wanted to because it has been thrown everywhere and broken. No I didn’t buy a top of the line one but I didn’t buy the cheapest thing they had. I understand things get broke I understand things break. But when you do not take care of them and I find them in the floor under a stack of books or the bottom of the closet there is something wrong. Oh and by the way there is a bookcase in the other room empty just about that is just hers for her books only. But where are they thrown in the floor to be stepped on or stuff spilled on them breaking other stuff. No excuse for it but just didn’t do it.

The boys I went in their room we got rid of a lot of stuff and organised the rest. They dump toy box out to find all the people or parts to go with the sets they have so then big mess of stuff just to find what they really want to play with. I got the recycled/reusable shopping bags gave them one for all the ninja turtles, one for all the Scooby Doo people and things, one for all the play tools for the tool bench and so on. Hung them on a hanger in the closet. Took the Scooby house and the castle to the other set and big things like that and put in the top on the shelf. In the toy box I put the big stuff like the big cars, things like that. Now they want to play with the cars and little guys they pick the cars they want grab the bag wit the men and play. When they are done toss the little men in the bad hang up and drop cars in the toy box. Same with the Scooby Doo or even the tools grab the bag and house play or grab the bag of tools and go play at the work bench. Hang it up when your done very simple. But they don’t do it

Simple everyday chores are a battle and still don’t get done. I have given them list made charts just tell them what ones need done nothing seems to work. I made a list of chores that need to be done let them pick the ones they wanted to do still nothing. They are very simple easy chores shouldn’t take over 10 to 20 minutes other than washing their clothes even that the real work part isn’t that long. Few minutes to put in washer few to put in drier and 10 to fold and put away. They have maybe 5 chore all together a few need done daily and the rest once a week. I don’t care if they do them all on the same day or split them up through the week just do them.

I’ve tried being stricter telling them what to do when to do it and how, given them days to have what done for weekly stuff. I just give them the list and let them know what needs done daily and what needs done weekly and let them decide when to do them during the day and week. They just don’t care. I have tried taking stuff away, rewarding for getting them done, ignoring them not being done thinking once they have no clothes to wear they would get it and start washing their clothes, or once they ran out of plates bowls for the day they would want clean stuff to eat off of. Nope they complain and ask what to do then get mad when you tell them. Other adults have told them they are lucky because there kids do a lot more chores than they do other kids have told them how lucky they are how they wish they only had to do the few things they have to do. They just don’t care, they act like they should do nothing.

Both boys birthdays are in the next 21 days of course like any kid they want parties or an outing and cake the whole to do. I really don’t want to do anything. I want to just let them go by like it’s just another day. I don’t want to get gifts because they don’t take care of their stuff.

I one wants to go to a farm and the other wants to go to a science museum that has dinosaur bones. I was already planing a farm trip for our home school stuff. The museum we have been trying to get to but haven’t so I thought about doing that. I found a place not to far from us called Dinosaur World that I think they both would love to go to. Not sure what it is really going to be like they say it is a theme park but they don’t show any rides, they don’t have food there, it says you can order pizza have it brought to the park. They have have the mining for gyms thing and but it don’t show much of anything they really have. It says it sits on 20 acres so it seems like they should have something. Been here all my life I have never heard of it and have asked around most people have never heard of it so it really makes you wonder what it’s like. I figure it will be fun for the kids whatever they have or don’t have and it will probably be a trip we don’t make buy once. But it will be fun for their birthday. That is if they clean their room and keep it that way and they start doing their chores. If not I think I will take the money and do something for myself and do nothing for their birthday this year.

They have always had to help clean up there stuff and do little things around the house here and there. It isn’t like I just woke up one day and said I think they need to do chores and they should clean the house from top to bottom scrubbing with their toothbrushes. I don’t expect much more than I ever have just pick up clean up after your self and help to a couple things around the house since your part of the family and live here too. At least act like you care you have a place to live, food to eat and nice things. Just like the brand new bed I got the boys they have had for 6 months or so that is broken now. All because they were playing and being ruff on it. I should take their birthday money and fix the bed.

I’m just at a loss with them and what to do. It seems that nothing I try bothers them in the least. I don’t understand how nothing at all seems to matter to them.

I can say ok I’m going to do everything myself but their rooms and they still won’t even pick up the room enough that things aren’t getting broken and you can at least walk through it. The rest of the house they spill things drop things leave things laying all over. I clean one room go clean another and by the time I am done and go back to the first one it is worse than when I started and they walk off. I told the therepest today I am ready to take my little one pack our stuff and leave. Tell father of the year come back over here he wants them he can come over here and they can have the house they all can live here in the mess together. He is no help they cry to him they have to do chores I hear how it isn’t right they are kids, I shuuld easy up on them but then when he is here he has a shit fit that they are lazy and I don’t make them do anything and all about what they need to be doing. But he don’t make them or if he dose try to make them he talks to them like they are dogs and treats them like trash. But at this point I am don’t care because they act like nothing I say or want matters and like they can do whatever they want. Let them all be here together and figure it all out on their own. If I had somewhere to go I would probably do just that for about a month. Let father of the year figure out a babysitter, school, cooking, cleaning and getting the kids to their appointments and where they need to go. All while trying to work 6 days around the clock. And not give him any help paying for any of the bills child care clothes or anything else. See how he likes it. But if I did that I would lose my house because he wouldn’t pay the bills then I would have to move and I can’t do that right now.

et cetera
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