{October 28, 2019}   Back To School, Maybe

I am thinking about going back to school next year. I received mail obe day last week from the school talking about going back and different options there are. They had grade forgiveness and something else I thought I maybe able to get in and get my grant and things back. If I could do that I would just take two classes at a time. It will take a little longer but I think I could handle it and pass them with decent grades not just slide by with C’s and be happy with that. When I started and was able to put tine into them and before accident I was getting A’s and B’s.

A lot of it has to do with my accident because it now takes me more time to do the work than it did before. I have to read things over and over and really think about what it is saying and put it all together and make it make since. It takes me longer to do the work and projects as well.

Where as before when I didn’t have to take all the extra time to read it a dozen times and then to go over it and think about it forever and a day to make it make since I didn’t need as much time to get things done.

But now I can work on it in the day at work and at night as well. I can work on it in the evening on the weekends after the kids go to bed. I am going to have to miss a little work to take a few classes at the schools but I can’t help that I can’t take them on line. But I think both jobs will be alright with that of it is minimal. I think most will be in the mornings so just the day job. If I can work it good enough then I can get out of class and not be late or just be a few minutes late if I can get into an early morning 8 am class that is less than 2 hours.

I will worry about that latter first I have to see if I can make it to the meeting and if I can get back in without costing me over $2000 out of pocket to do it.

{December 16, 2017}   Winter Break

I am so glad that school is done for the next month or so. I was supposed to walk Thursday to get my certificates but didn’t. I didn’t want to spend the money on the cap and gown and I screwed up didn’t pass one of the classes for the other so I didn’t get it after spending money on signing up to get it. I wasn’t wasting more money. They will send the one I got in the mail.

I am so done and over school at this point. I want to finish but it is just to much with trying to work and be here for the kids and what they need. I think I have found something that I can’t do. I can but it is a mess and I am beyond stressed trying to do it all and it don’t turn out very well at all. I messed up three classes I took this time. I can’t keep being stressed like I have been over it all. This is why I had worked it out so that I didn’t have to work and could finish faster. I have now put myself trying to work and go to school. I am going to run out of money if I keep screwing up and having to retake classes. If I haven’t already.

The degree I want to get I can get for domestic violence, community health worker, or aging to work with elderly people. You can get just the certificates for each one instead of getting the degree or the degree in one and the certificates for the others or whatever. I have the one for domestic violence, that is the one coming in the mail. I need one class to have the one for community health worker, I am going to take it next term so I will have both of those. I took one of the classes needed for the aging one a few terms ago and decided I didn’t like it and didn’t want to take the rest. But now I am thinking I will take the other two classes for that and go ahead and get the certificate in the aging as well. So at the end of next term I will have all three certificates under the degree I want. I should be able to find some kind of half way decent job between the three. But I do not think I am going to finish my degree just pray I can get through these classes and pass them to get this and be done with it. It sucks because if I decide to go back later and do it I have to take a bunch of extra classes but I just can’t keep doing it right now.

I also can’t move in a few months like I want to if I finish because I need classes at the college and then I would have to stay here to be able to take them and I don’t want to stay here. I really need to get out of here and get somewhere that I can make it and not be fighting to get by all the time.

{April 14, 2017}   Summer School

I think I may have figured out a way to take the 4 classes I need to take over the summer. I have used all my aid and loans but they do have a payment plan you can set up so that you make payments each month I think it is. I am going to go in Monday and talk to them see if I take the 4 classes I want to take if I can set up a payment plan. I have to see how much money they want a month and how long I have to pay it all off.

As long as I can keep it up until September I will get my loans and grants again. Once those come in I can pay it in full and be done if I have not paid it off yet. I really do not want to be taking 6 classes the next two semesters. It is going to be a lot to take on and I have to get my math class in there some how and pass it. I think the math class is going to be the one class that holds me up from getting my degree in May next year. Even if it does I am going to still move. I can take the math class on line and just pay to take the test and do it on line as well. It maybe better if I end up taking it by itself too. I will take it in the Fall and give my self a break to get to know the area get settled in after the move and everything. But taking just the math will make it easier for me to study and put more time into it. I just need to study a little right now to retake the test and pass it so I don’t have to take other math classes before I can take the one I need. I can work on it over the Summer that year since it is all work at my pace and things.

If I end up needing to take math later by it self I am going to go ahead and have them give me the certificate if I can then I will at least have that to help me get a job. Then once I pass the math and have my degree maybe I will get a better job, better position where I am or more money at least. I just hope it works and I am able to set this payment plan up and get it take care of.

I am also going to start job hunting hopefully Monday if I have the lights in the truck. There is a place close here that I am going to go to this week that is having a job fair, I plan to go to they start at $12 an hour. That would be great because I think I figured I need to make at least $12 or $12.50 to pay everything on my own without the SSI check. That will be good because they will cut it if Father of the Year plans to start paying me again like he he says. I know at that amount even if I work full time with all 5 of us they will not take any away because I am working.

I feel like as much of a mess everything was in just a few short months ago that everything is falling into place again and feel good that they are going to work out. Really looking at the bigger picture and the year over all it wasn’t all that bad. Everyone hits a ruff patch now and then or has things happen and have to get through them. Life isn’t going to be great all the time. I think with my depression and just overall, all that we have been through and still trying to pull our self out and get on top again set backs no manner how big or small seem like a disaster that is taking us out.

{March 13, 2017}   Certificate Program

I had my midterm meeting with the adviser today since I messed up last term and was put on warning I had to go see him before I could sign up for classes and then again in the middle of the term to check in on how things are going. I asked him how many classes I had left to finish my AS and he said 12 more. I wasn’t happy about that bu6t it is no one’s fault buy my own for screwing up last term, it is what it is. If I could take 3 classes the next three terms Summer, Fall and Spring I would be in the middle of my last term this time next year. I don’t see how I can do that if I don’t get a job asap so that I can pay for it. Then figure out how to juggle a job and classes. But I think I could do it. It will be about $2000 to take the 4 classes and my books I think. If not I could take 6 classes the next two terms and get it done with that way. I just don’t know that I can do 6 classes and handle it because I do have to go back to work at least part time and some of them would be in person. I am wondering if I shouldn’t do more in person classes to lessen the work that has to be done each week.

I talked to him about just getting the certificate for the program he said to talk to the lady over the program to see what kind of job and things I could get with it. But I still need one more class after this term to get that. Then maybe I could at least get my foot in the door somewhere and slowly work on getting my AA instead of my AS. Then I can go on to get my masters or whatever and have the AA out of the way. I think I am going to try to do everything I can to get the money together to take 4 classes this Summer go ahead take the class I need for the certificate and then go from there. That way I will at least have the class for that and a few of the others out of the way as well. If I have the certificate and it will help me get jobs then I wouldn’t be worried about moving tax time next year if I have worked all this year and get tax money back the first of the year. I would just pay the extra and take the rest of my AA or AS on line from where ever I decide to go and then find somewhere close to where I am to go farther at that time.

Right now I see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel knowing I can have my certificate soon. It’s a lot to think about and decide. For now I have to get off here and back to the school for my class. I had almost an hour before it started so I came home for a bit until it did.

{January 8, 2017}   Not Ready

I was just looking at my stuff here and I am not ready to start school tomorrow. It seems like no matter how much I pick up and try to clean out the house so things can be organized it just makes a bigger mess. It is like a never ending story of crap everywhere. I haul truck loads of stuff out and turn around there is more. I am at my wits end with it all.

I still haven’t gotten my internet up and working it’s a mess. I have to apply and wait I tried to do that and can’t get a page to load to print the paper out. I filled out my taxes I am getting hardly anything back but that was expected. I only claimed one kid because claiming both only made a $20 difference so I am going to let Father of the Year claim him and spit the money.

I have to be in class tomorrow morning at ten minutes to eleven. I am really not looking forward to that at all. I dread taking a class at the school. I hate the idea so much, I don’t want to have to sit there for an hour dealing with a bunch of people. I just not a people person if I don’t know the people and it is a forced situation. My other classes are on line now and my net is about to run out. I have to go tomorrow and see if I can pay a couple dollars extra and keep it on until Sunday when I pay my bill.

I am not sure how I am going to pay the bill Sunday but I have to. I have to go apply for a job tomorrow as well. I may have to go to the college or somewhere and do my work until I get my money so I can fix the internet I don’t know how I am going to do this yet. I really don’t want to go with the service I am trying to sign up for but I don’t want to keep paying a bunch for the service I have either. I guess I will have to figure something out.

I am sitting here now trying to make myself get up and cook dinner so we all can go to bed at a decent time. Have filed my taxes, signed up for my parking permit, tried to sign up for my internet and did one of my boards for one of my classes already. I hope to be able to do the rest of the ones for my other classes tonight. Get a little bit of a head start. Not much considering they all start in about 6 hours.

I was hoping I could have my tax money back in a week or two but it says the IRS isn’t even taking returns yet or something. Mine is sitting there on the site waiting for them to start taking them so it can be turned it. Then I should get it back in a week and half I hope. I just hope the fact I got divorced don’t hold it up. It ask if you got divorced or married. I put divorced. My w2 is in my married name my social security card and everything is in my maiden name. I called H&R Block the lady told me to file it with my first name my married name then my last name. I know that won’t work because it has to match the social card. I called another one and the lady told me to just file it with my legal name now because they match everything to the social number. It will show all names I have went by. I did it as she said because she told me right away with no problem what to do and how to file it and I was thinking the same thing they should see it on my card and that is the big thing is it matches. Plus the other lady kept stopping and thinking and told me to do it that way and said it didn’t really matter and kept stopping and thinking and didn’t sound like she really knew what she was talking about.

Now I must got to the chickens because I forgot and it is cold out. We have to feed them and water them. I wish I could skip it but we missed a day last week and didn’t go yesterday since we went Friday. I am going to be glad when they are gone.

{October 15, 2016}   A Pompous…….

I don’t know if I am just so over whelmed and stressed that I read it wrong or if my teacher changed things up again on us. The one I was telling you about that gave us 48 hours to get it in after the storm and things. But when I went back there after writing Drowning In Work and it says that everything is due Monday.

I don’t know if he had so many complaints that he decided to do it, if someone went to the provost office and complained about all that was due and what little time he expected us to make it up in or if telepathically he has heard all the times I have called him a pompous ass today. I can say that I really don’t care why the hell he changed it I am just glad he did because it was taking a lot to keep from emailing him and telling him what a pompous ass he really was.

As I write this and think about it I know that he went in and changed it sometime while I was off because I remember him saying if I needed more time past yesterday morning I would need to prove to him I just got power or internet back on. Still going with he is a pompous ass. His class so for is super easy. But he don’t make it easy to know what is when he or where things we need to know are. We can’t email him the way we email anyone else we have to go out of where our classes are and use our school email. Half the time I forget to even check it after I write him because I never ever use that email for anything. Then his message whenever he put it up is not posted where every other teacher post them where it pops right up and you see all of them from all your teachers as soon as you log in. He posted it at the bottom of the home page for his class. Well there has always been writing there so no one scrolls down to look and see what it says because it has not changed in 8 weeks, hell most don’t ever even go to the home page we go straight to our work pages and that’s it. Other than dealing with him and just how he is over all the class really is supper easy. We watch a video he makes each week and fill in the blank on our notes he has up, then we take the other set of notes or whatever look up the page numbers he tells us and make note of the information he says is important on that page. Then we have ten minutes to take a ten question quiz there are two one for the video and notes and one for the information we had to look up.

But the way he has done over this storm is not right and something needed said. I have let up on it to get other stuff done since it isn’t due until 7 am Monday. That let me get one of my Sunday classes done so far for both weeks.

I again can not hold my eyes ope and it is 4:15 am. I really need to just push through get all this done the next few days but I don’t think I am going to be able to.

{August 18, 2016}   Lost in Youtube

I have sat here for I don’t know how long watching music videos on youtube when I should be doing my school work. I want to do it, it’s all stuff that I am interested in, again I just can’t get focused. I got all logged in and started to the class that is due in the morning. I thought I would put something on to listen to while I worked and I don’t know what happen the next thing I know it’s hours later and I have gotten nothing done. I have got to get my self back on track and start sitting down and doing the work like I did when I first started classes last year. I didn’t even really like the classes I took the first two terms but I would fly through them and get the work done ahead of time, if not I sit down and get it done when it needed to be done with no problems. I could get lost in it and work on it for hours just like I have watched youtube and played around with other stuff for hours today. Even when I get started I work a little and move on to another class or something else.

I guess now as late as it is I am going to go put dinner in the crock-pot and try to get something done before I have to get the kids and start the running around with them.

{August 15, 2016}   First Day of School

Today was the first day of classes and I have barely gotten to even look at them. I can’t even get into one of them yet. I spent the day running my mother to the college, she ended up spending hours there. While I was there waiting and din’t have children in tow I decided to go ahead and change my major. I had to give the lady my id to log me in since I didn’t have my school id as she gave it back to me I thought of having to change my name. I told her I needed to do that as well and got the paper for it. She said I had to talk to the same person to do both so that worked out good. The only thing is now I forgot to go get a new school id so it had the right information on it. I just thought of it why I was sitting here. I guess I will stop in tomorrow and do it. I just go to the little building at the end of my street here to do it instead having to drive all around campus and to the back like most things. It should only take a minute.

Why I was waiting on her after I finished something kept telling me to go on line and look at my school stuff before I left. I started to a few times and didn’t because I had left my phone in the truck. Then she had to go over to where the computers where and I had to show her something on there so I went to help her. When she got done I got on and looked my account up and looked at the one class that I wanted to start today but was going to have to start next month because I got put in the wrong one and the other was full. The one I wanted to get in that started today was showing it had two openings so I tried to sign myself up for it and it would not let me do it. I had to sign back in and see someone to help me get that done. But at least they got it done. It isn’t showing up yet I guess it will tomorrow. I hope that I do not have a bunch of stuff that is due Wednesday when I can’t even get into it until tomorrow.

I was looking at 3 out of 4 classes that I can get into the work is due Sunday night by 11:59 pm. Then the 4th one is due Monday night by 7pm. That really stinks because I count on that time in the evening after the dinner to get things done if I have something come up and can’t get it and now it is due right away. No other teacher does that. It looks like most of them aren’t going to let you work ahead either, a lot of times I get started in a class and will just keep working, I might work through all of the week and the next one or two depending on how much is there for them. Then move on to the next class and do the same thing. Other times I just do the week’s work and move on or have to because one of my other classes has more to be done than normal.

I don’t know why it bothers me that everything is due Sunday and Monday either, but it does. I think I am going to just go with all 4 are due Sunday no matter what so that I make sure that I have the work for that 7 pm class done so that if something happens Monday and I can’t get to it until late it gets done.

I can’t find the calender’s planer that I want to use for my class either. I got a different one last term and ended up not using it after I all because I didn’t like the way it was set up. They are simple dollar calendars from the everything is a dollar store but they changed them up on me. There really isn’t a huge difference but it is the way I was able to organize everything before it is just different.

I think all 3 out of 5 of my teachers are males. I like it that way, although most of the female teachers I have had other than one I have to say I really liked and did fairly well in their classes. I really didn’t like the teacher in the one class as much as her way of doing things and all the non-since work she piled on and required us to do. I thought it was just me and I sucked it up and done it, but toward the end of the class I talk to a few people who said the same thing that it was an extreme amount of work she gave and expected. But I find that a lot of times the guys classes are pretty easy, and they seem more willing to answer questions and help if you have problems without making you feel like you are bothering them for asking or making you feel like dumb and like you should know it.


{August 6, 2016}   End Of My First Term

Thursday I finished my last two finals and my last assignment for this term. I am very happy with my grades on my finals, I made B’s on the 3 out of 4 I took. I have 3 C’s and 1 B for my over all grades for the courses. I normally would not be happy about the 3 C’s but with all the running around I had to do the last month, he out rages amount of work I have had to keep up with just the one class I am just happy that I passed. Of curse I want the great grades and to have everything be A’s and B’s but sometimes, you just have to be happy with just doing good enough and that you passed instead of failing.

{August 3, 2016}   A Not So Happy Monday

I went and took my final for my domestic violence class this evening, I got an 83%. The test was 154 questions worth 154 points. The first 20 or so questions were on the test twice. So when I got the one wrong I got it wrong both times because I put the same answer both times. That is one reason I got so many wrong because some of them were on the test twice and I missed it both times. I ended up with 88.51% over all in the class. I am very happy with that it is a high B almost an A. I had two hours to take it and finished in less than an hour. It was for the most part pretty easy.

When I got home I decided to start on my computer work and get a head start on it since it is due by midnight Tuesday nights. I was just going to do one or two lessons and finish the rest tomorrow. I did the first two and kept going and ended up doing all of them. I had the quiz and final to take. I was going to wait to do them tomorrow since I knew they wouldn’t take that long. Then I decided to was going to take the quiz tonight too. I finished it and went to look at something and my test popped up. I don’t know why I clicked into it and was looking to see if there was a time limit or what on it. All of a sudden I seen the date it said it is due 8/2 and I just looked at the time and date on my computer before I clicked into it and started looking around. That is when I realized it wasn’t a Happy Monday but Tuesday. I have messed up big time it was due in less than 30 minutes. I printed everything and started trying to do it and wasn’t able to get it done and in. I probably failed that class. It sucks because I should not have it is such an easy A class. It is one of the two classes I dropped last time because I was trying to work and do my classes. So now if I failed it I will have to take it for a 3rd time. I could just cry.

I think that I have my grades pulled up in my other classes that I should finish with a C or better in all of them but this stupid computer class that I keep messing up one way or another. I think that if I pass all of them but the one I should be okay and still be able to take classes in a few days when they start.

et cetera
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