{November 8, 2019}   Shit Talking 101

I told you a while back in my post 34 to 54 and Us in-between about the one driver at my night job trying to take me and the other guy I work with at night out for a drink and to hang out. When he said no he kept asking me. We have been messaging back and forth and talk on the phone once in awhile. But that is it nothing else at all. He keeps trying to get me to go out with him and meet him and “help” him out. We mostly just joke around.

He said to me the other day I know nothing is ever going to happen between us, your just easy to talk to, joke around with and fun to talk to. I’m not trying to offend you or make you made. I said nope don’t make me mad. Takes a lot to get to me or make me made.

So he is always saying stuff and talking shit. I told him the other day all you guys take that same Shit Talking 101 class and think you are the man. You all say the same thing and it gets none of you anywhere. He comes off with class I wrote the book. Blah, blah. I laughed and told him I wouldn’t admit to that. Later I told him, he may want to rewrite that book and do some more research. It comes up here and there I say something about that class. He said something I said you really should just burn the book. He said yeah I think you are right. It has been no help so far.

He said something about getting together maybe if he kept trying one day I would change my mind.

I said you can get in line with the others but it never moves just so you know. I sent him this picture

He says I skipped and jumped ahead I’m first in line. I said first middle last next to the back or front really means nothing when the line never moves.

Another time we were talking and he was saying something and I made a wise crack. He said why do you have to be so mean and cold? Laughed. I sent


He made comments back and then says and as for my balls….um…um. yeah I don’t know what to say to that.


I replied





Last week I posted that I was looking for an office or two, to clean on the weekend. He massaged me a few days later and said he had carpet to put down in his truck and wanted to know if I wanted to clean the truck and help him lay the carpet.

I laughed at him and said oh so is that what you guys are calling it now laying carpet? He said no no really I seen you were looking to make some extra money and I need the truck cleaned. Doors, windows, windshield, shelves, bunk all that. I need the floor cleaned good so I can lay the carpet. I may need help getting it cut and laid down so it don’t take forever. I’m not trying to get you in my truck and do something. I said um hum sure I bet you have some candy too.

He said no we all pretty much keep the same truck we do what we want or with them and have to keep them clean. He said really if you talk to some of the other guys they may pay you to clean theirs out when they get back from their runs. Most don’t feel like it or want to take the time to clean them.

I told him I would have to see I wasn’t sure. That it would depend what time I got off work. it was Friday the kids wait up for me to get off and come home on Fridays since there is no school the next day. I had to go home normal time so they weren’t waiting because my little one gets tired and would fall a sleep.

I told him maybe one other night during the week when I got off since they would already be a sleep and I didn’t have to rush home. He showed up to put the carpet in the truck and show me he really had carpet and wasn’t just saying it and he really needed it cleaned. Earlier when we were messaging about it he asked me how much. I really don’t want to do it because it is late and I am tired after work. I didn’t want to do it being out there and in the truck and things because you know how people talk and I don’t want to have shit started about oh being in his truck or whatever. Even if just joking someone takes it to far and I would go off, say something and who knows where it would go from there.

I told him $25 he said that was steep, I said I don’t know never done anything like that before. He said it is only about 30 minutes worth of work probably. I said I don’t know how much is it worth or what do you think? What were you thinking to pay? He said no I pay it that is alright. I am just thinking it is late, I am doing this during the week after working two full shifts, I’m tired and even if it is only 30 minutes of work is it worth it to me for less than $25? It is a one time thing not full time like if it was an office or what i was looking for. So if he really wants it done and to make it worth it to me to do it when it is harder to do than cleaning an office really at least $25. Because I have to climb up in the truck get around and under everything in a tight space, up and down with supplies buckets of water and things to clean and clean the floor. bending under and around everything. I don’t have all that in an office I’m not bending under and around stuff to clean the fools or under the dash and things in an office. That is all hard on my back and getting all the buckets and things of water up and down. That is like cleaning bathrooms, making beds and that kind of thing that kills my back and I can’t do all the time. That is why offices are easier and I can go in there at 3 am on a Saturday or Sunday or 9 pm. As long as it is clean before they get back Monday. I am not having to do it after a double shift tired and wore out already.  I never did do it he didn’t get a hold of me over the weekend and is back out. I figure he will want to do it when he gets back. Hopefully he forgets it or does it himself.

He is a nice guy but just older than I am looking for and he isn’t looking for anything other than someone to go to dinner with or have drinks with once in a while when he is here and hook up with. I am not looking for that. I’m not looking to get into anything with anyone from work. Friends that is it nothing more.


{October 28, 2019}   A 3rd Job Again

It looks like I am going to have to pick up some kind of 3rd job again for a while. Although I was getting on top of things and had everything but the lights paid up and was making payments on the repair fee’s I was pretty much on top of things. I feel I was as everything I owed was going to be paid up to $0 balance and only have the repair fee’s I would be making payments on and then monthly bills that would be paid on time.

But with this $400 going out unexpected then my car insurance renewing this month and still owing on repair fee’s and needing to do Christmas for the kids. I am starting to sink and fast all in the blink of an eye. Even thought I was caught up for the most part I had not been able to get that savings or cushion to fall back on in times like this built up yet. That was next on the list. To start saving to have a little put away. That is tricky as well seeing as my son gets Ssi. Because I am not supposed to have over $2000 in assists. That includes vehicles, cash on hand and savings. How are you supposed to get ahead or put away for a crisis or emergency, unexpected things in that case? They tell you to have 4 to 6 months of bill money in the bank in case something happens. Even one to two months of money would put me over the limit alone much less having the second vehicle. So then that is going to take money out of the pot each month so then I will have to use out of my savings to make up for it there for not really getting ahead again because I will have to take out every month to make up for what is taken away. I would love to be able to get by without having that money at all and would be happy to just have 2 months of savings in the bank and be able to put so much away to make up if some had to be taken out. But right now that just isn’t the case and to start taking away right away I don’t see how to go about it all.

I am thinking of posting an add on craigslist again looking for a few offices to clean in the evening on Saturday or Sunday. This way I can clean them after the kids go to bed at night on the weekend and gives me leeway between doing them Saturday or Sunday. Whatever night I can get to them. If they are mid size office’s I can get around $75 to $100 and if I could do even one that would help a good deal right now. I don’t want to over load myself and try to do to many. I haven’t crunched numbers but I think if I pick one up at $100 a weekend I would be okay or close enough or get me by. Let me feel some relief and not feel so strapped.

I have thought about doing pizza’s again on Saturday night if she needs me. But that is a lot of wear and tear on my car that I don’t know I want to start putting on this one. I have put a bunch of miles on it already, I don’t need to put more than I have to on it because it is going to start breaking like my truck once I start doing them. The start and go, start and go a 100 miles or more a night is a lot of stress on a car.

If I did an office or two on the weekend I can hopefully find one or two close to home and I just drive there park and drive home. Not running it for hours all night like I would doing pizza’s. Even if I had to go a little further than I would like I hope to go less than 10 miles one way and 20 miles round trip is still better than miles on in all night.

I thought about doing coupons and making holiday baskets and selling them. But I don’t have the money to put out to make them and sell them. I don’t have the $15 or more to put out on newspapers and then buy product to do them and sit on them until they sell. I would need to be buying things now and making them to be able to have a bunch made for the holiday shopping rush right after Thanksgiving up until Christmas. I could put baskets, bags, stockings and things like that together for men, women, and kids. I use to make them for the teachers for the holidays. I would put body spray, lotion, body-wash and things like that in them. Toss in some kind of gloves, socks, towel, washcloth or towel for your hair or other little things for guys. You have a nice gift for a friend, co worker or someone you want to grab something nice for on a budget. Kids you can put one together with coloring books, puzzles, something to read a comic book, markers, crayons all kinds of things just dependent on the age. You can have orders where you put baskets together depending on theme or age.

I seen some nice drawstring bags on line for sale someone had made they were trying to sell that would be perfect that I would love to get but just don’t have the money to put into them. They have a couple 1000 or so and want to sell the lot. I would buy them because I know I would use them and sell them with no problem probably to make things like this. It stinks because there are so many things like this I could make money at but it cost so money to get started. I wish I had not dropped my credit score because I would go to the bank and try to get a lone. For a few grand. Pay the rest of the repair money off and the lights. Then I would buy a bunch of things and make a bunch of baskets and bags up and have them ready and start selling them. I would go ahead and buy Christmas for the kids so that it would be take care of and not have to worry about it.

I could take two grand pay things up spend less than $500 make a bunch of baskets and make back at least a grand or more probably depending on how many I make how big and nice they are and things. I thought about doing pizza’s for a few weeks and no mater what take it and buy supplies and do it. But I know I can’t do it that way I need to be able to get a bunch at one time and it would cost me money in gas and I’m not able to know I am going to make a good enough chunk to make it.

{August 26, 2018}   A Throw Everything Out Mood

I have been fighting the erge to rip through my house and get rid of everything and move things around. I don’t know why because I have been sick for days now. But I wanted to before I felt sick too. I guess the clutter is finally getting to me and the fact I am praying she will be out in just over a month and we can have our lives back. I figure I can get a start on getting things the way I want them instead of waiting. And that things are about to change for her if she dont get out soon. But she is one way or another because I will file if she is not out in the next month to two months.

I just want our lives back to normal. My bff says gather a bag of stuff every day to get rid off start working on it until she leaves. But it isn’t how I do things. I just want to go in open the house up and toss everything out all at once and be done. I feel like I am getting somewhere and got something done. Where as one bag or two a day feels like I am getting no where and it is taking forever.

I have to get somethings in my room done because I need to get everyones junk out of my room. It is taking over. I guess we will go from there I will decide what I am going to do from there.

{March 28, 2017}   Perfect Stranger

I am siting here on my bed messing around on my laptop and messaging a friend when a message pops up asking me to do something between 830 am and 1130 am. They said sorry they knew it was late but was I available, it was about 11 pm at the time. I didn’t click into it show it wouldn’t show I had seen it or read it and did not reply for a little bit. I thought it was the lady at school who’s out daughter. I am supposed to go in tomorrow after noon to do crafts be there all day Thursday and Friday. I finally messaged her back and said I don’t even have my little ones to school by 830 and I have something to do for school, I am supposed to be there tomorrow afternoon I can come around 1230. I have to rewrite a paper for school and get it turned in. I should have had it done long ago but this teacher is lax but was asking everyone about it today. I told him I send it to him today but didn’t get to it. He said just get it in soon.

I never heard back from her and I thought it was odd they wanted me there at 930 when most days they are not there before 855. I went back to the message and noticed that there was stuff above what I had written tonight. I knew I had never talked to her daughter on there before. I pulled down to see what else was there thinking I missed part of the earlier message. I hadn’t, when I went up and read what was there I figured out it wasn’t who I thought it was. It was some lady I didn’t even know.

I guess about two weeks ago I messaged a lady on a site who was looking for a sitter for her two kids. I don’t normally do that I don’t like watching kids I don’t know but she seem to be in a jam and needing someone all the time. I figured maybe that would help me too. I looked at her page and things and she seemed okay. I didn’t look her up I figured I would if I thought I was going to be watching the kids. I messaged her asking what days times and things like that. I told her I went to school two mornings a week so that might be a problem. I didn’t hear back from her at all.

Now here we are a few weeks maybe even a month later thinking about it and she out of the blue wants to know if she can drop her child off at my house at 830 am. Again I have never met her, she has never met me, nor have me and the children met or have they had time to meet me and get to know me some. We don’t even have any of the same friends nothing at all other than a two second message I may be interested in watching your kids what times, ages, days things like that with no answer back. But now I can just get them tomorrow and start watching them. I could not believe that she would even do that not knowing me.

I just messaged her back and said I’m sorry I did not know who this way I just glanced at it and thought you were someone else, I can not I have to be at the school with my kids and do something for school for myself tomorrow. I need more notice than that. But, like I told my friend I will not be watching them if she wanted me to later even all the time at this point. Knowing that she doesn’t check people out and will just pick random people out of the blue who asked about watching her kid to just dump them with never meeting them or anything. What could or has happen to that kid already that no one know about then when I comes out who are they going to be looking at me because I am the one watching them now.

There is not way in hell I would randomly pick some stranger off facebook and let them watch my kids without checking them out, meeting them, getting to know them a little, let the kids all get to now each other and all that. Job or no Job I would take my kids to work with me before I left them with some stranger like that or just not go. There is no job worth leaving your kids with someone you don’t know at all. I feel bad for the kids I just hope that the ones who do take them are good to them and nothing happens to them because of the way she is doing things.

{August 14, 2016}   Cleaning Day 2

Is about to start, I have two 20 gallon bins piled high with clothes to get rid of out of every ones stuff. I have a bag of stuff to list on line and try to sell to help get uniform shirts for my little guy. They had a uniform shirt sell at his school for used uniforms. I got there and they were sold out of his size and looking at the ones they had there for all the rest they looked like they came out of the rag bag. They had posted that “genitally” used ones were $5 and ones with stains were $3. I would be embarrassed to donate clothes that looked like the ones that were there to anyone much less put them out and sell them. For a church to expect people to buy stuff in that shape I think is horrible. Again I don’t have a ton of money but I try and make sure my child is dressed nice and the parents I see going in and buying what was there just get on my nerves. They are dressed to the T or in uniforms from work and you can see they work decent jobs. Then come in there and buy rags for their kids to wear to school. I understand uniforms are not cheap when you have to buy them with school name on them. But it is the point when most are not even paying for the school you would think the least they could do is buy their kids decent clothes to wear.

Someone said you would think they would be worried about their kids getting picked on for not having nice shirts. I said not because they all bring in the rags their kids outgrew and trade them for rags someone else kid outgrew and so they are all in rags. So no one can really say anything and pick on anyone because they are all wearing the same. Don’t get me wrong I am not to good to wear used clothing or buy used clothing for my kids. My little ones up until about the last year or two got most all their clothes use. We had a great shop in town that sold everything for like $5 or less and they bought your used kids clothing or gave you store credit for them. I could take one of those plastic shopping bags from like Wal Mart in full of clothes and get $30 or more store credit. I could go through what she had and find the kids all kinds of nice clothes for my two little one. I wrote before about my mom saying something about why was it that my two little ones mostly only got used clothes and why they weren’t “good” enough to have new like the rest of the kids. A lot of what I got my little ones was name brand stuff that I wouldn’t buy for my little or big kids at the price they want for it. 80% or more had tags on it or you could tell it had never been washed and wore. It was nicer than what I would find at the store that I could buy and it was cheaper most times or the same price but better quality stuff. It is harder for me to find my older kids stuff used at the stores because they do not have stores that sell bigger sizes for the older kids like they do for the little kids. We are starting to get a few but they are so far away that it wouldn’t make since to go that far when I could use the extra money that would be spend in gas to buy them more here at stores that are close. We do go to the goodwill sometimes and get things but it again is a hit and miss. Some of our favorite things come from thrift stores. So I am not to good to buy his uniforms there if I was I wouldn’t have end checked to see what they had in his size. And I do not put down anyone who buys used but buy your kid nice stuff not things that are wore out. There is a difference in in used and wore out people. It be one thing if they didn’t have it and could’t get any different but a lot of them you know probably can when they are dressed to the nines every time you see them. Hell if I couldn’t I would be pulling out all the nice clothes I was walking around in and selling them to get my kid clothes. I can’t do that because I have a handful of shirts and two pair of pants right now. But that is because I have been making sure the kids have what they need instead of buying me clothes. That just what you do. Most of it comes down to budget and priorities a lot of times. It amazes me how few people know how to budget or have their priories all mixed up. And how many people who have way more than me to work with and way less people to take care of can’t do it and are amazed how I do it on such a tight budget but my kids always look nice and have what they need. They may not always have what they want or get it when I have planed to get it but they always have the things they need.

Hints why I am cleaning out and pulling out stuff I had sat aside to sell before and didn’t get around to with going to school to sell now to get his uniform shirts. Right now I am going to go get a few shirts for $5 each for him to wear this week until I can get the ones with the school name on them. They are just going to have to deal with it I don’t know why they have to have the school logo on them anyway as long as they are polo shirts in the right colors.


{July 8, 2016}   First Dentist Trip

Ok don’t judge the boys just went to the dentist today. They came out and ask who wanted to go first and my Little Guy jumped up and went back with them. I was kind of surprised that he didn’t care that I wasn’t going but then again I wasn’t because he is just like that. Jump all in and go explore or whatever on his own and not care if he is on his own. In a little bit they came out and got My Big Boy and he was asking before he even got across the room wasn’t I going and why I wasn’t getting up? I told him he be ok and to go and he didn’t want to. I got up and walked in the hall with the lady and told her he was autistic and that I didn’t know if he was going to do it without me going back or not. She said oh ok and told him I could come back and see where he was going to be sitting and everything. We got back there she had him get in the chair and walked around to the back of the room out of the way why he got all set up. He wasn’t sure about the chair and things. In a minute she gave me a chair and told me I could sit there where I was. She tried to do x rays first but every time she would put the thing in his mouth he would gag. She got the one for little kids and he still gagged really bad. She said wow he has a supper strong gag reaction. I told her he has sensory things so I wasn’t surprised. She gave up on trying to get x rays and started cleaning his teeth. She gave him the thing to suck the water out of  your mouth out and he didn’t like using that. He didn’t do to bad with cleaning them but they needed to be picked and scrapped, a deep clean I guess and he wasn’t able to let the dentist do that. He said it hurt to much.

They called me over about my Little Guy and they said he had quite a few cavities and that they were going to send him to a pediatric dentist so they could give him a little bit of gas to do the work. They said they thought they could do it with no problems but it was a lot of work because it was different little spots, they didn’t want to traumatize him or stress him out and make him not want to come back to the dentist anymore. He said once they do them he could come back there every 6 months for his cleanings with no problems.

After they got done with my big boy they said they were going to send him to the same place to get a little gas so they could do a deep clean and maybe some x rays on him as well. They said they didn’t think that he had any cavities just looking at them and things but if he didn’t get them cleaned good and brush better he was going to have them and his are not baby teeth they are his adult teeth.

I have to take the girls back on the 13 since they couldn’t get them all in on one day. I am going to wait and see if they need anything done at the other office and then make appointments for the other two if not. There is only one in the county and I think it is the one I have heard horrid things about so I am going to have to take them to the other county. But really it is probably just as far or farther to go to the one that is here in the county. It’s just not as bad of traffic and I know my way around here. But that is what I have GPS for.

I am wondering as I type this how much my Little Guy really needs to get filled he is 5 going to be 6 in a few months. He should start losing teeth here really soon. In the next 6 months to a year lose them all anyway. I am trying to think I don’t think he has lost any yet that is kind of odd. My Big Boy lost 4 with in two days then a few more before he ever turned 5. All of a sudden he just started losing teeth like crazy all at once. He got his early and he got 2 to 4 at a time and he lost them 2 to 4 at a time just the way they came in same ones and all.

I should have ask them about that with Little Guy but I was so shocked when they said he had them and that he had so many. When I looked in his mouth I seen one or two little spots but that was it. I don’t see bunch like they are talking about. His teeth look good over all when you look at them. If they had said my Big Boy I wouldn’t have been surprised as much because i am always getting on to him about brushing his teeth and brushing better. They told him today if he don’t do better I was going to have to do them for him. Makes me want to gag just thinking about it. I had a ton of dintale work done as a kid from early on I have just always had bad teeth and not very strong teeth and I am worried that is going to be my Little Guys problems. He has a cousin that has no enamel on his teeth and has to have some kind of treatment. Me, his mom, my dad and her mom all have problems with our teeth. It is something in the family I think. The girls even with my Little Bitty seems to be ok she brushes hers all the time and me or my oldest brush them for her one or twice a day besides what she brushes them.

et cetera
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