{August 15, 2019}   Worse Than We Thought

I told you all in my post Back To Mommy’s House and In To Deep Sleeping Beauty had went to his friends and was staying. Well he ended up coming back instead of getting his stuff out. He got nasty with her told her to file with the courts. Then he got all mad because she was going out and had a fit. He left when She said she was going out and left. The few nights he came home and she left he get mad and left. Then he called and wanted money and told her he wanted $30 for them talking. She said she went and met him and that he got nasty with her started hitting the dash of the truck and window and all that. She said he scared her.

She told me the other day how bad it has been and that the police would not help her get him out or tell him he couldn’t come back.

The last few days we have been talking. I told her to to tell him I would move in with them. I told her I would come over Wednesday when she was off or come stay for the weekend. Or all of it. She kept saying she had it under control she was going to get him out.

Then she told me how his friend the other guy that worked at the shop with us that he was staying with before he came to my house and stayed told her he is doing Meth. His mom stopped by the other day it was their birthday his and hers I guess and she told her that when he moved from her house a few months ago and she cleaned his room out she found a bunch of spoons in his room all burnt up and coke bottles all under the bed.

I said yeah because he is snorting the cocaine, smoking crack and then doing the meth and when they are on the meth tons of empty coke bottles around. She just looked at me we were out at breakfast yesterday morning when she was telling me this. She looked shocked she didn’t know what to say and she said I didn’t know all that. I said yeah it is said but true.

I said that is also probably why he has been so nasty lately like that. He is mixing all this together taking what he can get when. I told her the cocaine and, crack only last a few minutes at a time. I am not sure about the other. I said so that is why they are always trying to find it or get money to get it. I said just like asking you for $30 because you all talked. I said that isn’t right. I said and getting nasty over everything.

She told me he is staying at the apartment where the girl he calls his little brother was living her and her girlfriend moved out. He is staying there. He was telling her how he hadn’t eaten in days and how dirty it was, how he had no money and things.

She told me how the other guy told her that when they go in to get paid on Monday they can get their cash or they can get 3 grams. I said three grams is nothing gone in no time.

I told her she better do whatever she had to do to get him out of her house and that with school starting back she was going to come home to her house emptied of anything worth anything. She said oh she don’t have anything of value really her tv or something. I said you don’t understand, it don’t have to be of any value hardly at all but they will still take it because they know they can get something for it. I said I know people who traded the shoes off their feet. There friends car and food out of the freezer to get whatever couple of dollars they could get to try and get what they needed. I said so your tv, your computers, tablets, and anything else that he can pick up and walk away with. She again looked funny and just went on eating.

I said i am also at this point worried about your mom and sister over there by their selves. I said I would not put it past him as nasty as he is being to go in there on them or go over there all nice and get in and then do something to them to get money or take their stuff. I said he knows that she helps you when you need it and that she has some money of some kind there or somewhere. I said he may even tell someone else hey there is a older lady or old lady and her disabled daughter who live over there go see what you can get or what. Then he gets his cut.

I said normally I wouldn’t think that but he is staying over there like you say he is and that is not him he don’t want dirty or messy or anything like that and he is use to eating. I said and we know he is on this, she is telling you what she found and he told you what the girls are on and with all the bottles and things his mom found he probably is too and the fact he is staying with them and always wanting to be over there he probably on that too. I said at this point he is about as close to rock bottom as you can get and tell you how he is sick when he has no money and things. I said because he needs it and can’t get it.

She just sat there looking. She said something about my house. I said that was going to be my next thing, I said at this point he is so mad at me and blames so much of this on me and he is so bad off right now I wouldn’t put it past him to come to my house and do something. He knows I am working both job, I bought the cars, that I pay everything on my own and that I have a little bit of money most the time. Not a lot but some. I haven’t had lately but he don’t know that. He always thought I had more than I did anyway he make comments about what I had and things before. She said he knows where you hide your money in your truck. I said I don’t have it anymore and can’t hide it there in my new one. I told her I said he better remember he is scared of me and that I will not play with him. I said I don’t care if he tries to come in my house or mess with my car, I will shoot him and ask questions later. I said just like anyone else I am not going to let him take my things or mess them up and I am not going to fight with him the state he is in and it came down to that.

She had told him like Monday that me and the kids were going to be moving in and he freaked out. What and she would have to go to court if she wanted rid of him and things. He wasn’t getting his things and he didn’t have to leave and if she touched his stuff he would have her put in jail. He has been threatening her with this for month or more now.

Yesterday after we left breakfast she was going to have her car looked at she called me after that. She said she told  him he had to get his stuff out that day and he told her not to touch it he didn’t have a ride and things. She told him she would send it with his friend or drop it to him. he went off about not touching his stuff and calling her. I said stop, stop answering his calls make him message you if he wants to talk to you about his stuff or anything like that. I said this way you can show he has moved and is talking about getting his stuff but refuses to. But it also shows that he moved because why would he need to get it or a ride to get it if he hadn’t. I said then pack it up load it up and take it to him or have his buddy take it to him.

She said he is going to call the police. I said but you have the text showing he has moved. I said and besides the point he is not going to call the police. Crackheads do not want to be in contact with the police for any reason. I said look this is what it has come down to, He knows he isn’t coming back there, I said as long as he can keep his stuff there and keep the phone you bought and paying for he has control. I said it don’t matter what kind of control he has as long as he has it. He can threaten you and scare  you don’t touch my stuff I will call the police, he can tell you he wants money or he is going to do this or that or comes home and shows his ass. I said if he don’t have stuff there he can’t come back there, if he don’t have stuff there he can’t threaten you not to mess with it, if he don’t have stuff he he isn’t keeping you from using the room, he can’t push you into giving him money. I said it is all him needing the control and the money. She said she had to figure out something and get him out even her daughter said he needed to leave and the kids being scared of him and things.

I also told her that she needed to do it right a way because right now he is at that apartment but that could fall through at anytime. The manager don’t know he is there. The girls moved out and just left him there he was staying the night with them or what. I said they can find out at anytime he is there and put him out. Then where is he going to go? Right back to her house and he can because his stuff is still there, and she hasn’t went to court. I said now he has no where to go but your house so he won’t even get mad and leave for the night or days. It will be even harder to get him out.

The police said if she could get his stuff out they would come make a report he moved and he wouldn’t be allowed to come back. I said hell pack his shit take it to him if he gets brave enough to call tell them you don’t know what he is talking about he came and got his stuff. It is your word against his and who knows if he did or not. I said I would just call them tell them he has left he has not been there for close to a month, that he is on all these drugs and how he has gotten nasty with her, how he hits things, screams yells calls her names and that she is scared of him. That he is threatening her to control her and get money out of her.

She called me yesterday when I was between jobs and told me she done it she got him out with a report made. She messaged him and told him they told her she could not only change her locks and set the alarm she could get rid of his stuff burn it if she wanted to. They told her to message him and tell him she had talk to them and they made a report and if he came there or tried to come in he would go to jail and she had the right to protect herself.

She told him he did not like it but did not say much about it. She took him his stuff and they talked some. He told her he didn’t know how she was able to get him out like that what did she say or do. She said I would rather not talk about it because I don’t want to fight I told them the truth and went on. He didn’t say anything. He hasn’t tried to call them to see if it was true or have her put in jail.

I told her he is done and moving on. You took his control away when you said that and dropped his stuff off. He knows now rather you really called or not you are done and not going to let him have the control and get over on you anymore. He knows it is useless to call the police because what all he was saying is not all true about having you arrested and that if he calls to much may come out about him.

I still worry he might try something at one of their house’s. Not so much worried about mine but like she said when we were talking he is close to you. He is about 2 minutes away driving. Like I told her I will not play with him and I will shoot him just like anyone else who may want to try something like that. But who knows if he gets desperate enough what he may do. He is about 5 minutes from work right now and has been going but that never last long.

We were having breakfast she was talking about when he hurt his arm and had to go to the er and they put him in the hospital for a few days or week. She said you should of seen them in there when he was in there. They treated him like a druggie. Was nasty to him and rude like he was just wanting pills or something. I said bff look because he is!!! I said they looked at him when he walked in they can see it they took his blood and seen everything he was on and taking. They knew he was not like he was. They knew it. Again she looked like oh my god she hadn’t thought of that. I said they are looking at you trying to figure out what your on or doing why your with him. She really did not know what to say then and looked mortified.

I think all we talked about and her already worried made her really see that yes this is bad and worse maybe than she even thought or realized. I am just glad she did it and got him out once and for all.

{July 31, 2019}   In To Deep

I think Sleeping Beauty is in to deep this time. He keeps messaging saying he can’t come get his stuff. He told her the other day something about not having a toothbrush and things. Then today he told her he didn’t have one still or deodorant and hadn’t eaten in a day or two. He didn’t have a ride and just got up. That was at 10 or 11 in the morning.

I said well mommy could give him $5 for the stuff he needs and the store is a mile or less from his house of they won’t take him. Why hasn’t he eaten in days? Mommy has food in the house. And would give him a ride to her house to get his stuff.

She said he isn’t staying with his mom he is staying with a friend somewhere because it is closer.

I said a friend his crack body he took your truck to the other night. And closer to what? He hasn’t been working. He has nothing else to be close to.

She said she didn’t know there or his gay friend he stays with. If he was there he been up earlier because he complains there is no where to sleep there, they always fight and up all night he don’t get to sleep when he is there. She said she didn’t know what he was trying to be closer to.

I said his next fix because he is in to deep this time. In the 2 or 3 years I have known him I have never seen him this bad at all. The things he has said to her I am blown away. On top of all the other shit he is trying to pull. I said wow he never said that kind of shit to me or pulled that or tried to. He told her he hope she died or was dead today.

She said she was trying to get the title back still. She said it don’t run. I know she took the battery out and one of them did something else to it. I said if he didn’t give me the title it wouldn’t be running at all or anything going on with it. I said if it don’t run how is he going to get it? He don’t have money for a tow or anything? She said he was going to get his bosses trailer and truck.

I said when he does that he still wouldn’t get it. I would call the police on him as soon as he came around the corner tell them he has no licenses and driving a company truck. They will take him to jail and deal with his boss or impound the truck and trailer.

Like I told her he isn’t going to do anything he threatens because he don’t want any dealings at all with the cops. He has nothing and has more to lose than the rest of us because he don’t want to go to jail. We have more on him than he could ever have on any of us. So he can talk all he wants he is all talk no action. He is to scared to get into a confrontation with anyone as well. This is why he don’t want her there when he gets his stuff.

I told her it would not be a surprise at all to hear something happen to him or he overdosed.

Most the time this all blows up he leaves with mommy they enable him bandage it up and life goes on. But he didn’t even stay at his moms more than a day or so and come back down here. Normally it’s months before he comes back around. It is sad but that is what it does to you.

{May 1, 2019}   WaWa and Coffee

After my ride called at 4:30 and said they would not be there to take me to work and drop me off I caved.

I messaged bff’s aunt and ask if she could take me but her hubby had the car. I called another friend and she was at work. I tried to get a hold of Special K but couldn’t. He said he probably couldn’t take me today already so wasn’t surprised.

I finally broke down and called my sister and she came and picked me up and brought me. I was way later than normal she went a different way than I do so it took a little longer. Then I had her stop at WaWa so I could grab something to eat and drink.

That is when I gave in and bought an ice coffee. I wish I hadn’t it is not good at all. It is like the stuff you get in the carton at the store. It is thick and super sweet and just not good. I also got a flatbread sub thing to eat. Then finally made it to work.

Let me just say we just in the last few years or so started getting WaWa stores and the closes one was over 20 miles away so I wasn’t breaking my neck to get there like so many I know. Needless to say this evening was the first time I had ever been in one. I was not impressed at all. I do not know what the rave is over them at all. The coffee isn’t that good as I said. I went to order my sub and you do it by computer it was alright but the way it is set up wasn’t great. The selection was unimpressive. They did not hardly have anything to pick from. The price I paid for what I got I should of been about half that. What I got was equivalent to some thing you would find cold at another little store at twice the price. Needless to say from what I seen and the pain in the ass that it is to get in and out of at the two locations that that I would use, I will just stick with my Cumberland Farms store and leave WaWa for the rest of you who so enjoy it. Even the lay out and set up was just very odd and off. The staff was not friendly at all. I do not think that any of the three I had any interaction with ever smiled or said hi or anything. Everyone customer’s a like just walked around like they were the only ones in the store. And the way you have to walk around people sitting and eating to even get in the place was just off putting. Why not have it to the side where it is more comfortable for the people eating and the ones trying to go in the store? Of course I was stopped and ask for a ride as I was trying to go in by someone sitting out there.

Anyways off my WaWa rant and back to the important matter at hand my coffee, haha. But really I feel better after drinking my cup of thick coffee like beverage. I have been dragging ass this week and I think it is not having the coffee. It could just be the sugar buzz that is doing it as well. I guess we will know soon enough if I crash in a little bit or I just go as normal like any other time. I think that my daily 12 or 16 oz coffee is going to have to stay. At least it isn’t the big 30 or 40 oz like I had been drinking all this time. I just hope they keep the small cups at my store. Since all drinks are $1 they just have the big size most the time. Guess I can just fill it half full.

I can’t deprive myself of everything either if you really think about it. I have cut out all coke and cutting out all tea. That leaves me with coffee and water other than the juice or mixed drink I have once in a while. Add in I was drinking no water before and will now be drinking mostly all water other than my coffee, and I cut my coffee in half, I think over all it still comes out to a win. I won’t be drinking 95% of my calories or drinking a ton of sugar. That is a plus as well.

{December 31, 2017}   Last Conversation

I got up Tuesday way later than I planed so I text him and told him I had to get the money. I told him I needed to go to the tag office that I could go to the one in the town between me and him and meet him there or somewhere in town there. Knowing he has to get a ride and things. I just got a text back that said I’m broke. I figured not surprised at all.

It got ugly from there. He told me I was telling people we were together and how I tell my friend everything and what he is hearing and why shit is started between everyone. I said no I’m not telling anyone anything and I have not told anyone that we are or were together. I said, I have been asked and I have told everyone no because we aren’t. But you did and I didn’t know why you said it then and haven’t been able to say anything to you about it. Him I would never tell anyone we were together trust me!

I said yeah you know what you probably wouldn’t or probably wouldn’t now or something like that. I said because I am not your type, I said when I am with a guy I am not with him because I need anything from him or want him to pay my way. I said unlike what your use to, want you to pay everything for them, work your self to death and give them everything they want, while you are they are out running around lying, cheating, and parting or whatever they want to do and using you. I said see I can get what I want and pay my own way. I said so if I have a man around it is because I want him there, to spend time with, do things with, because I care about them and want them happy too. So like I said I’m not your type your not use to that, don’t know how to handle that or what to think about that. I said you say I make you nerves that is why I make you nerves, because I don’t need you.

Stop texting me leave me alone. We said other things as well I finally told him I was going to leave him alone that I had things to do besides arguing with a grown man that wants to act like a little boy. I said I have to go figure out how to get the money I was screwed out of and be the responsible one and pay the things that I owe.

Fuck you and your little boy I this and that he went on. I said nothing else. Then in a little bit he said why are you texting me again. I said it has been an hour since I sent you anything screen shot the last thing I sent and where he just sent me saying I was texting him. He didn’t say anything. Then again in a little bit having a fit I was texting him again. I said I am not texting you again just like last time. Yes you are I keep getting text and more text from you. I said look I am driving I am not trying to text you or got time to text you. Yes you are. I said then what am I saying if you say I am texting you? He sent me a screen shot but I didn’t see it until I little while later. I read it what I could see of it. I screen shot the date and time I sent it and sent him told him that I had sent that Sunday I was not texting him sending it then. He kept on yeah right I said you see I just sent you showed you when it was sent just like what I sent earlier that you didn’t get until almost an hour later. Something must be wrong with your phone. I said and if you read it and look at it you would see it is the same thing word for word that I sent you on Sunday your getting it twice.

I’m not getting it twice you dumb ass. I said I am not a fucking dumb ass and ask if he didn’t get it Sunday he never answered and I haven’t heard anything since. I was pissed by that point and the other shit he said all while again telling me I don’t want to talk I’m not talking to you stop texting me. I say I am leaving you alone he just keep running his mouth. I didn’t care I was telling him like it was the more I tell him the madder he got but when I said tell me who said that? Where did you hear that? If I said that or done that then tell me when where, he could’t. When I said what I did about him he never denied it or tried to, just get really pissed off and back to I don’t want to talk leave me alone. I said yep run, hide never be able to relax always worried about what is going to happen might happen.

{November 9, 2016}   No Coke

I have not drank any coke in 5 days, I drank a glass on the 2nd and have not had anymore since then. The great thing is I haven’t even missed it or wanted it. I have had a few tea’s and a couple coffee’s.

I will give up drinking the coke but not the tea or coffee now and then. The only time I drank tea is if we go out to eat or if I can find the one brand I like in a plastic or glass bottle. That is hard to do as most places only carry it in a can.

Coffee is an odd one, I will drink it every day for days or weeks sometimes all day, other times just a cup. Then there are times that I will go day, weeks or months without drinking any at all.

I have drink at least a bottle of water a day as well. I know that isn’t much at all but, it’s huge for me. I never drink water not even a half a cup a day normally. I been drinking kool aid with the kids but am trying to get to drinking more water. I don’t know what it is I am very weird, I can’t just pour a cup of water and drink it. I will never get it down. I tried putting it in my glass bottle before, but I just couldn’t get through it. But if I buy the little bottles then I can drank them with no problem. I hate to buy the little bottles all the time it is such a waste. I am going to try putting it in my water bottle again but giving it some time. Maybe once I start drinking more than one little bottle or maybe once I start drinking just water instead of other stuff most the time. I guess we shall see.

I am going to go try to get a nap in before I have to pick the kids up. I didn’t get to bed until 330 this morning and was up by 7. I wanted to come straight home after dropping the kids off and get a nap but that didn’t happen. I could not get myself to go lay down and go back to sleep for a little bit. Knowing that I would be so tired later I wouldn’t be able to hardly hold my eyes open. It is early release day so I have less time than normal to get a nap in as well because of it. They big kids get out at one today instead of two. Now I have two hours for a nap and I am passing out.

{November 2, 2016}   No more Coke No more Coffee

I went and seen the counselor again today, we talked about being me being so tired. I told her I was sleeping most the night and most the day as well. She said that sleeping while the kids are at school or at night while they do but both wasn’t good. She said that I had to get back on some kind of schedule. Of course I know it isn’t good I’m not getting anything done that way my school work is really suffering because of it. I told her that I cold drink coffee all day and still not be able to hold my eyes open. She said that I need to stop drinking the coffee and the coke. She thinks that it is having the opposite effect on me and making me want to sleep more. I had not drank coke in years and started drinking it again over the last few months and it is all I drink anymore.

Like I told her at times I wouldn’t sleep for days or I would sleep in the morning for a little bit. I would get tired in the after noon or evening while I was picking the kids up, getting dinner, baths, homework and kids to bed. But by the time I got them to bed I would have that second wind and be good to go for the night. Anymore I am not getting that second wind. Not even a hint of one. She said she thinks if I stop drinking the coffee and coke and get on some medication things will even back out. I still want to join the gym and think that would really help me to do better and feel better if I lost some of this weight.

She also asked me about going to the doctor and when I was and if I was going to talk to them about getting on some kind of medication. I told her yes that I was going to she thought that was a good idea.

I am going to call tomorrow and try to get in. I call they keep telling me I need to call the day I want to come in. Lately I have just been so tired that I don’t call I just come home go back to sleep. Or the days I stay up it’s because I have other stuff to do so I do it and don’t have time to go in. I really do need to get my thyroid checked because if they treat that I may not need the other medications. I guess we will see. I am supposed to go back to her in two weeks, she didn’t have anything next week. So it will give me a little time to get in there.


et cetera
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