{August 26, 2018}   Weight Loss and Why

I just want to clear something up about my weight loss. I have had so many people tell me I didn’t need to lose, I looked fine the way I was, and I don’t need to lose more. They say I shouldn’t worry about what others think, or I should be happy with myself the way I am not always trying to lose weight and worrying how I look.

First off I do not do anything because I am worried about what others think of me. Weight or other wise. Anyone who knows me should know this by now. As for being happy with my body or myself, I am completely fine with myself the way I am. I may not 100% like something but I am not sitting around worrying about it or trying to figure out how to change it. Or wanting too change it or feeling bad over it. I decided a long time  ago this is me this is how I look at any given time and it can and will change and that is okay. I am fine with that. Whoever has a problem with it to bad that is on them.

I wasn’t trying to lose weight last year when I lost 20 something pounds all of a sudden. I just started working and my habits and things changed. I have always been that way where I will just all of a sudden drop a big amount then maintain or gain again for a while. It wasn’t like I set out to lose. I have talked about wanting to for a while but never really worked at it. The reasons I wanted to was to feel better be healthier not because of the way I look or what others think of me. I am sure I have said that before when talking about my weight. I am not comfortable at this weight, I feel the effects of being this big going up and down stairs, running with the kids and dogs and see it in the swelling and pain in my legs. I want to feel better I am not worried about looking better or finding a guy. Believe it or not it is mostly guys telling me I didn’t need to lose and don’t need to lose more. I have never had negative comments from guys at any size I have been. I don’t know why because I know a lot of women say they get comments from guys about their size a lot. Thank god I have not had that experience because it probably would not of ended well. I went off on a boss over making fat jokes and comments about another girl who worked with us. He do it to her face, I went off one day I was so over hearing it he wouldn’t let up.

I think it comes down to confidences, appearance, and how you carry yourself. Guys are attracted to women who appear to be confident and carry theirselves that way. That seems to be one of the first things they notice. Even if you are a little “bigger” or not super skinny it makes you more attractive.

Who knows I could be way off base but just from my experience and watching interactions when I am out and things. It is what I find to be true.

But there you have it I am losing weight for me, so I feel better not for any other reason. As much as I knew I needed to lose more after I lost all that last year I did not actively try or gobout of my way to. I just had another change in life situations and ended up losing another big amount as a part of it. Yes I do need to lose more to get to where I need to be and wanted to try and go ahead and lose it too. But I haven’t stuck with it, I have gained a little back but I am okay with that. I know I will go back down again and figure it is better to let my body maintain again for a bit before I decide to try again. I seem to do better if I maintain a bit after a big loss. And right now I am not into putting in the effort to lose more when it isn’t something that has to be done right now.

{August 6, 2018}   Spam Comments

I noticed last night my spam comments said I had a bunch waiting for me to do something with them. I do not normally check it because it is all junk or nothing there.

I thought it was odd so I went and checked it out. I found a bunch of comments from you all that had been sent there the last few weeks. So if you commented and I didn’t like it or respond back I am sorry I probably just got them. I did approve all that needed it. Hopefully that won’t happen anymore. I don’t know. I will try to remember to keep a check on it.

It is odd because most were from people who comment a lot of times. And some have commented since they were sent to spam and they went through but others went to spam. Was like every other one or something was going through.

I don’t know but hopefully they will come in right now. I can remember to check it more now this is happening. Because i will always at least like a commen even if i do not have time to reply or what.

Don’t think I am ignoring you and stop commenting. I love to hear from you all.

Wednesday once I got back from getting forks I sat down to eat my lunch. Next thing I know all the guys are in the office gathered around for whatever reason. Mind you our is shed he bought and made into a office to fit the little bit of space that we have and just something to do the job. So we are all pretty close. The boss was sitting at his desk and two of the guys were standing up between our desk, while starfish had come in and sat in the chair next to my desk to be out of the way.

I was mixing my salad and putting dressing on it and doing something on the computer, not really paying attention to what they were all doing or talking about. They were waiting on the boss to get off the phone I know. He got off the phone and they started talking and joking around. The boss was talking about his jug with change in it under his desk how he was hiding it from the ol lady and kids and saving money. One said well now you said something in front of her bff she is going to know now. Me and her have been friends for about 8 years or more and always together. She is the one I go out with lately and things. I just smiled and shook my head and didn’t look up or say anything. I don’t care me and her hardly ever talk about what is going on up there or anything about up there. Unless she brings it up and even then if she don’t bring up parts of it that happen or went on then I don’t tell her. I know how things are between them and how everything is. I am not going to say something and start anything if she didn’t know because he only tells her what he wants her to know. But most the time she already knows everything anyway.

I was fixing my food and looking at the computer and they finished talking about the money jar and hiding it from the ol lady and everything they all were still just standing around there. The boss said something about them all standing around and the one said something about starting a circle jerk, another pipped up and said who was starting while the other said he the boss and sitting down so, about that time starfish pipes up and says she is here today she could start it.

I wish I could of seen the other guys faces and the bosses face for sure, because before I could even look up and no sooner than it came out of his mouth he was falling all over his self saying he was sorry. By the time I could turn my head and look up he had his hands in the air was half off his chair I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m so sorry and reaching over toward where the boss was almost on his knees. I just laughed and went on doing what I was doing. I didn’t even know what to say because of his reaction all I could do was laugh. I wasn’t mad I didn’t care. I am use to being around a bunch of guys and all the comments and things so it didn’t bother me. I think he was more worried about the boss and what he was going to say or do and maybe that one of us was going to knock the hell out of him the way he was looking and falling all over. No one said anything everyone went on as normal but I bet the boss said something outside when they all went back out.

I just found it funny. It was just one of those things that comes out before you even think about it or what. then your mind catches up with what your mouth just said and your like fuck I said that out loud. I think his reaction was funny than anything.

{January 21, 2018}   Spam

Am I the only one getting a ton of spam comments the last few days? I just clicked through about 6 comments that were all spam from 3 or 4 people. Some who commented already and I marked as spam last time. I have never had so much spam in such a short time. A few everyone once in a while and none in a long time. Maybe it was just my turn since I had not had any in a long time I don’t know. They all say the same things just about even when they are from different names. Some form of two different comments. Like that isn’t a red flag from the start.


et cetera
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