Single___Parent___Life











{January 15, 2020}   Back to Back Court Dates

Today I was bored and nothing was going on so I decided to check child support site. I checked my case with RC and it said they issued a court date yesterday.

I looked on their site and it didn’t show. I went to the clerk of courts and it did not come up on there either. The one for father of the year still is not showing up either. I have not received a letter for it.

I went back to the child support case and clicked to chat with someone there. After a million tries I was finally able to. They were kind of rude but finally said court was at 12 in the north court house. We have to be there on 3/2.

I was a little confused because these cases are held in the South court house. But then I remembered that this case has to go infront of the judge to start with because of the DNA and all that. So I guess they handle it in the north court house. I am sure it will end up in the South once it is all done.

The north court house is much closer and easier to get to so I don’t mind. The South one is over 30 miles away and I have to be there at 8:30am. The drive sucks and takes forever with work and school traffic.

I am not worried about the one with RC. I am sure he will probably phone in since he is up there. But even if he wasn’t the thought of seeing him don’t bother me.

But I am dreadding the one with Father of the Year. I do not want to be around him or see him again. I hate that sick panic fight or flight feeling I had once he got there. I think my friend JW is going to go with me. We were talking about it today he said something about he hoped I didn’t feel that way this time or something. I said me too but I figure I will. I was going to ask my friend to go but I have not talk to him in a long time. I think he is mad at me. I said I will suck it up go and find a little spot between two people to sit. That’s what I done before.

He asked when it was I told him. He said he could go with me if I wanted him to. I told him he did not have too but it would be nice that I didn’t want him to get in trouble at work. He said he wouldn’t he wanted to go with me. I hope he can go. I really do not want to be there alone. I don’t know anyone else to ask to go with me. Bff said she would but she did last time then didn’t. She has to have kids to school and things as well I don’t know how she would go.

It’s really nice of him to offer to go with me seeing he has to miss work and pay to do it. I will pay him what he missed once I get the behind amount I’m owed. I know he don’t want it or expect it. But it means a lot to me and I want him to know.

I know it probably sounds stupid that I don’t want to go alone or that I want him to go with me. It’s court, but I can’t help the way I feel. I shouldn’t have to go do this and feel that way while trying to do it. I hardly ever well really never have anyone help me or with me as support. Sometimes we all need that emotional or moral support when we have been through things. Abuse is a huge thing to go through come out of and not have some issues from it. If this is the worst I need help with then I think I am doing really fucking good and proud of myself for working through the bulk of it. I was even considering asking my one boss from my day job to go with me. That is how bad I have been dreading it.



It is tomorrow and to be honest my stomach has been in knots and upset since las tnight. I went to my friends after work last night and she hight lighted my hair. To night we are going to cover the gray. I had a large coffee and it didn’t help my stomach at all. My mind is just a fog, I can be thinking of something turn around to write it down and have no clue what I was going to write. Thought of something I wanted to look up on here flipped to the page and its been an hour and I still can’t remeber what it was.

I sat here at work wrote down six legal pages of notes to take with me.

I am dreading tomorrow I hate dealing with this stuff. I’m aggregated I am missing more work and money. I am going alone. I don’t like dealing with him alone. If she is with him I look for her to try and start shit.

The best thing that could happen is they slap him in handcuffs and take him to jail until he pays something. If they do it better not be no piddly little amount. If they made him give me a couple grand it be worth it. I could pay the bitch back get her out of my house.

I am scattered on here I tired stressed and hungry. All I have wanted to do is eat for a week or more. I have just over 45 minutes of work left. I really should be staying here an extra 2 hours the next two nights but I just can’t, I am going to have to next week. Between the truck and now court and everything I need a break.  I told them we are going out tomorrow I don’t want to hear they have no money just get there.



{July 30, 2016}   My Important Date

I made it to my Important Date Friday, it was quick and painless. They didn’t bring up any of the things I thought they were going to bring up or why I thought they wanted him to come. There were a few things that she has a question about the way it was worded and wanted to ask about it and make sure we both agreed to what it said. One was about medical and dental that is not covered by insurance, we put that we would split it. She wanted to know if that meant we were going to split it equally or how. The other was when we each have the kids. He gets them every other weekend from Friday to Monday morning. I have them Monday through Friday and every other week through the weekend. I was trying to word it that way but I guess it sounded funny and she wanted to check on it. She just ask me if that was how it was for both of those, asked if our marrage could be fixed, asked if I was able to and planed to comply with everything on the settlement agreement, child support and parenting plan. Then she ask if it was correct I wanted to have my maiden name back and if I was doing it for any reasons other than just because it is my name and I wanted to go back to it. If I was trying to evade debt, or doing it for any other fraudulent reasons. As if I was I am going to sit there and go why yes, yes I am. But she has to ask I know. I figured they would ask why you want to go back to it make more since. She asked the standard did I agree to everything on my own and all that, pretty much just standard stuff after that. Then she ask him if he agreed to everything in it and if he agreed to it or was forced to agree to any of it.

She said because she is not a judge she had to write her report or what and send it to the judge to go over grant and sign off on. She said there was a 10 day waiting time for her to do that and then a five day mailing period so about 15 days before anything could be done with it. She said if we both agreed we could wave the 10 wait and she would get the report done and right over to the judge so he could do his part. We both said yes. I was holding my breath I kind of expected Father of The Year to say no to just have that last little bit of control. She didn’t say how long it would be before we should get the papers. She did say that it wasn’t done yet so not to do anythig until we got the papers saying it had been done. So it is unofficially official. It’s done we do not have to go back for anything it is just processing I guess you could say. The judge should have no reason to not grant or sign off on it since we have had a day in court and went over everything with her. The judge can’t change and thing because nothing can be changed if we are not there to agree to it. He could not agree with something and kick it back but not likely to happen since they sent it to this other lady to take care of because it was all done and agreed to.

I said I am going to be stalking the mailman until they come. I already told the kids they are not allowed to check the mail until I tell them. They check it but sometimes it gets dropped they have to pick it all up, or I’m not here it gets laid up and forgotten about. Not a big deal since I never get anything but bills and junk 99% of the time. I go on line and look at my bills or call and check everything so that isn’t a big deal. Most always there is someone out there when they check it but there are times they will randomly check it and bring it to me. I just don’t want to take any chances. I can also go on their site to see what is going on with the case if it has been granted or what. I checked but it hasn’t updated since the court date was posted. I am hoping it will show when it is sent to the judge. It should at least show when he signs off and grants it. But I need the papers they mail to take care of the name change and if anything happens or was to happen for legal reasons.

I am just happy it is done. I don’t have that it’s finally done reveled yet. I know it is and it is all technical stuff, but there is that little voice in the back of my head saying what if something happens and the judge don’t sign off on it? I trying to ignore it but I am just naturally one of them people that until I have it in my hand it says done it isn’t done. I have to have a sold it’s done nothing can go wrong or it is not done.



{June 28, 2016}   Missing Paperwork

Today I call the judge to get a court date and the JA tells me we do not have all our paperwork turned it. We need a marital settlement agreement. She says we did not turn one in, I tried telling her that the paperwork says that if we used this other form we did not need that and she insisted we need it anyway because without it the judge don’t know what we agreed to. If they would look at the rest of the papers they would know because it is all in there and if they would take 5 minutes to do their job and know what papers are needed with what papers they would know the other paper takes the place of what she is asking for. But instead of doing their job they force you to fill out and file extra papers. Of course it is not one of the ones that you can fill out online, I have to print it out fill it out. I also have to do a new child support guidelines worksheet because now he is supposed to have this job. It is the only thing I was really worried about holding the case up since we weren’t able to fill it out all the way.

This week is a supper busy week, now I have to fill these out and get a time we both can go back to the court house or somewhere and get it notarized and turned it. If I can get it in tomorrow or the next day then I can get a court date for next Wednesday July the 6. He already said he is not going to come to court if he don’t have to and he will probably be working by then anyhow. He don’t want to have to ask for time off as soon as he starts. My sister said she would watch the kids for me so I can go. I don’t really want to go, I don’t like court rooms. I don’t know why or what it is, I can only think of three times I was ever in one. That was once when my mom was going to court over my sister with my step dad, once for jury duty and the one time I went trying to get this divorce settled. It isn’t like anything is going to happen, the judge is either going to grant it or deny it and tell me what I have to do to get it put through. But I would rather go take a test than go to court. Isn’t that crazy. I guess maybe because I want this done more than anything right now, I have had to do it all myself and get it put through and the last time the judge wasn’t very nice. He was but he wasn’t, he wasn’t happy I did it myself, that I didn’t ask for more and was looking for any reason to not grant it. I guess he is use to seeing these women in there who try and take these guys to the cleaners and I truly don’t care to do that. I just want my divorce, to be free from him and done with when it comes to us from now on. If he pays whatever they say he needs to pay or what that is truly fine with me. So I take him to the cleaners get all this on paper he has to do this, that and the other, it is not worth anything more than the paper it is written on if he don’t pay it or can’t pay it. Then I am back in court fighting to get him to pay it or doing without it just like I would be if I never was given it to start with. I rather not bother with it because i know he can’t pay it. I also have nothing to wear to court really. I guess I will wear my green shirt and see if I can fit into my black slacks or have to wear my black jeans. I just hope we can get this in tomorrow. But I am not sure how I will because I have therapy with one kid, and dentist with two while he takes my sister and her baby to the heart doctor. Tomorrow is the only day the lady is at the court house to do it so I guess we will see what happens.



et cetera
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