{January 20, 2018}   Interesting Message

Tonight I go out to watch a show with my little one before we go to bed, she has been asking if I would watch a show with her the last few days. I told her let me finish my school work and then I would watch a show with her. I was playing a game on my phone and sat down on the couch. As I sat down I exited out of my game so I could watch with her. When I did a thing popped up and said that so and so wants to connect with you. I clicked on it and went in to read the message it was a women. The message said is your papaw so and so? If so this is so and so trying to get a hold of him.

I just sat there looking at it. I didn’t know what to think because the name that messaged me wasn’t the name they were saying they were and they asked if he is my grandpa. My grandpa passed in 2012 who ever it was didn’t seem to know that. I started looking at picture but wasn’t sure who it was. I knew I knew the first name but couldn’t put two and two together. I was caught off guard and thinking about all of this in a manner of seconds and trying to decide how to handle it. Then it hit me that the person who was contacting me was the other persons daughter.

The person that messaged me was my cousin that I had not seen since we were little kids probably 9 or 10 year old. The person she said was looking for my grandpa is her mother that I have never in my life met or talked to. I knew my cousins because their dad use to bring them down on vacation and him and my mom were friends and we would meet up and see them why they were here. Their mom is my dad’s sister.

I messaged back and said yes that was my grandpa and that they needed to call me so we could talk please. In a little bit my phone was ringing and it was my aunt. She started asking me about my grandpa her dad I told her he passed away, she asked about my dad I told her he had too. That there was the three of them left and that one was in jail all that. She knew that my other uncle had passed before my grandpa ever did so she had been in contact with my grandpa but not in a while. She was never one that stayed in contact with the family and they said always wanting money and things. I had not heard a lot of good about her but she seemed okay when I talked to her. She is older now and maybe has changed over the last 10 years or more that it has been since anyone had heard from her.

We ended up talking for over 3 hours on the phone and she has messaged me everyday and we have talked and things. She wants me to tell the others she is coming down and things. She had me help them find a motel and all that. They are coming down two days next month. She wants to see grandpa’s grave and things like that. I would not have known her if she walked by me on the street or knocked on my door. But it was nice to get back in touch with my cousins and it will be nice to see them again and to meet my aunt. I have not told any of the family she is coming not even my mom or that I have talked to her. It really isn’t any of my moms business because it isn’t really her family but I am sure she will have enough to say about it. I am just going to tell her that I don’t want to hear it it isn’t any of her business and that you know like it or not she is family and she had a right to know and that her coming here has nothing to do with me that is up to them. They are grown adults free to do what they want. I know she isn’t going to like it because none of them really got along and still don’t she was like the “black sheep” of the family I guess you would say on my dads side but truth be know they all really were.

I asked how my uncle was because I had not seen or heard from him since I was pregnant with my oldest and he wasn’t doing good at that time. I was worried then he may do something to himself he was so bad. But I missed his phone call he didn’t call me back or contact me anymore after that. Him and my mom had stopped talking years before that so she didn’t know how to get a hold of him or anything.

Back when my grandpa was sick and dying he was asking for my aunt and wanted to see her and talk to her. No one else would look for her or tired. I searched and searched all over looking for her but couldn’t find any information about her the kids or my uncle. I told her that too that I had looked for her and couldn’t find her. She said they had been trying to get a hold of me as well but didn’t know how and couldn’t find me. I don’t know how they happen to find me the other night but they finally did.

I guess we will see how this goes when they come down next month. She wants me to move up there where they are. I told her me and the kids were looking for somewhere to move and things. She said it is nice there decent rents family friendly and good jobs. I told her we may come up Spring break and check things out.

{September 19, 2017}   Reconnecting With Family

One I started a few weeks ago and didn’t get to finish.

My and oldest went to the store late last night to get them things they needed to make lunch today. I laid around all day yesterday and did nothing then made dinner watched a show on tv and then decided to go. I couldn’t believe it was after 10 pm by then, but it felt good to just do nothing for a change with all the running I have been doing. We found water when we fist went in so we gathered what we needed of that and then went to do the rest of our shopping. We ran into my sisters cousin and his little girl. I didn’t really notice who it was and he stopped and back up and I seen who it was. I said hi and we stopped and starter talking, we ended up standing there talking awhile and then he walked around with me and talked why I shopped to get my stuff. I asked him what he had to get he said just ice cream for his little girl that was with him. I said oh yeah you said that. I finished getting my stuff and we got in line he walked out with me and talked some more. He ask me if I was till on facebook I told him yes, he said to message him on there. Later I was sitting there doing my work and things he messaged me, we talked a bit more. He been messaging me off and on today.

It’s odd because we never really talked much all these years hey how are you, how is so and so, good to see you and that is about it. Last night he was telling me all about his ex, his babies mom, his job, some trouble he went through and got into and things. Very out of the norm but I could tell he just seems like he needs someone to talk to, different things he was saying and things. So much he said hit so close to home with things he is going through and ways he is feeling about things. I don’t know it just odd. I told him about Father of the Year and how he walked off cut contact with the kids and things. He was blown away. He didn’t really know him but just that he could or would do that to his kids and things. He looked at my oldest he said come here let me give you a hug, he said you too, he hugged us he said it’s going to be alright y’all will be okay get through it. He told my oldest it is him and his loss. Not to do with her, or her, the kid fault. She said yeah she knew.

He said something about needing support and that his ex didn’t get it when he said he needed support and things. He said he got mad would say he was supposed to be the man of the house he should be supporting them and things. He said but it’s not what I am talking about I work I always work I take care of things. I said you need someone there to be there for you to talk to or whatever not to support you financially. He said YES he said they don’t get it. I said oh I know, I get it, I say the same thing and others don’t get it either. I hear you have the kids, this and that. He said it isn’t the same. I said yes. He said when grandma and grandpa were a live they supported me in anything and everything I did and was there for me. He said I really haven’t had that support since they passed away and sometimes I just need that. I said my dad was for me and since I lost him it’s been hard and even that isn’t the same as when your with someone and having the support from them. He said yes but you had it and it was real, not like now when you have no one at all. I said I understand what your talking about. He said at least someone gets it. I said I think unless you have been there you don’t really get it most people have some kind of help and that gives them that support, but when you are doing it all on your own and your not close with family or friends and don’t have it then you don’t have the support. He said that’s right and I am staying with family but they don’t get it and we aren’t that close.

We talked for a few days off and on and then he drove by my house right before the storm and messaged me wanted to know why my windows were not boarded up? I said because I didn’t get my money until 2 am the day before and wood and things were all gone. That I didn’t have anyone to help me either. He said I probably shouldn’t stay here with it that way. I told him I was probably going somewhere just didn’t know where as of yet. I talk  to him after the storm check see how him and his little girl were and things. We were talking I told him I missed starting my new job because of not having a sitter and things not wanting to leave the kids here with anything on. He said you should of let me know I would of come over and watched them for you, I can’t get to work right now. I told him I may have to take him up on it I would let him know.

It was nice just talking and catching up, I think we will probably stay in contact more than what we have. I am glad he feels I am someone he can talk to. Oh he told me he is going to college too, he is going to do something in the medical field. I was glad to hear it because I know he did hit a ruff patch and got into some trouble but nothing to bad and got turned around.

{July 12, 2016}   Mind Blown

Last night I was talking to a friend and we were talking about RC and things. She said he says that my Little Bitty is Father of The Years not his he thinks I cheated. He knows it isn’t true sat at another friend of ours house and told them the night we found-out I was pregnant that he knew it was his he didn’t have a doubt in his mind it wasn’t. Then sat there the one time he seen her and said we did good then well you did. After that sat there crying his eyes out begging me to please not tell her he was a loser. He said this over and over that night. He knows and like I told her last night he knows she is his and one reason he didn’t hold her that night not just because he was drinking but because he wanted to try and avoid having feeling for her or bonding with her.

She said it was being said that my little one looked just like my youngest son who looks like Father of The Year so she must be his too. My friend had never seen my little ones other brothers so she didn’t know what they looked like or anything. I said girl when I had her and even now she looks just like his youngest son laying there. She still looks like him. I told her I made a collage thing when she was little that had her, his two sons, him and the daughter he is with now on it and how much they all looked a like. She asked to see it. Last night I sat here and looked and looked through pictures trying to find it. I never did.

I was going to make another one so I started looking at pages to see if I could find the pictures I used then and I wanted up dated pictures to make one now of them all. I was looking on Little Bitty’s other brothers grandma’s page because she always post picture to see if I seen the ones I used. It pops up and says you have 1 friend in common. It was my best friend from Junior high that I still talk to. Her and her sister. It was late but I sent her a message figured she see it this morning.

I said I want to ask you something but it involves my little one and her family so I don’t want you to say anything to the person I want to ask about. She said ok and ask what was wrong.

I started looking at her page then to find the person because I am still thinking I couldn’t have seen what I seen, before I find her I find her son is also on her page and then I find RC’s ex wife on her page. I said how do you know x,y,z? She said yeah I do why? I ask her how and told her that Y’s two oldest boys are my daughters brothers and that her dad is Y’s ex husband.

She didn’t answer for a few minutes I think she was trying to figure out what I said and probably trying to pick her jaw off the ground. I figured she was going to say her sisters new boyfriends family or something like that. She said oh X is my uncles ex wife, Y and Z are my cousins.

I couldn’t believe it my mind was blown!!! We have only been back in contact about 4/5 years ago about the time this all went down with me and RC. She said that she had not talk to them seen them since she was about 8 or so and that they don’t talk that they probably asked their mom who she even was when she found them on there and added them. It’s just crazy.

Then my friend said didn’t he tell you he went to Tennessee? I said yes that is where he started out but then I have heard he is in Kentucky somewhere or on the boarder of the two in Kentucky. She said yes he was over there and that he had sent her pictures and things of all where he is. My other friend said well if you want him you let me know my family is all over up there been there forever they will find him, they will tell you where he is. She said he will tell me too and has but she has not talk to him in a while so not sure if he is still in the same place. But if he don’t my other friend can get his information.

Then something was said about his ex wife, I said her name and where she lived she said isn’t that the guy that worked at the shop who died wife and their kid? I remember hearing a little bit about the stories when he first got with her but not a lot I didn’t know him well and I left the picture right after he came in it. Everything had happen with RC so I didn’t hear from him about it either he didn’t even really know. But it all sounds to much like it is her.

I was told that the babies dad was some guy but he was a druggie and they weren’t together not that he died. But who really knows, maybe some day I will reach out and try to introduce the kids to each other and let them get to know each other. Maybe she will be open to it, maybe she has wanted to but just didn’t know who I was to contact me. I just can’t believe they are all related and cousins.

et cetera
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