Single___Parent___Life











{May 19, 2020}   No Boyfriend to Married

Me and Little Bitty had a talk again last night. She been in a mood all evening and from what I gathered pretty much all day. As soon as we turned the light out to go to sleep she started crying. I asked what was wrong.

She said she just really wanted to see her dad and for him to see how big she was and how good she is doing. She said she wanted him to be proud of her a do things with her. Get to know him.

I told her that one day I hope he will come around and want to know her as well. I said what if we added a new family memeber to our family?

She said yeah but I just want my dad to do things with.

I told her that if I got a boyfriend then he would or could do dad things with her. That her dad would still be her dad but he would do the dad stuff her dad wasn’t here doing with her. She stop crying and thought about it scooted over closer to me.

She said he would?

I said I bet if we find the right one he would. She said but he would have to like me too not just you.

I said if I had a boyfriend he would have to like all of you not just me.

She said I bet he would have a dog and then our dog would have a friend too. But his dog can’t teach our dog bad habitats. They have to play and get along. I said so you can sleep in your room in your bed take the dogs to snuggle. She said no that is okay I like snuggling you better. He will have to snuggle us and watch Heart Land if he lives with us. You two can watch shows I can’t once I go to sleep.

She thought about it some more and said would he be my other Step dad? I said you don’t have a step dad. She said yes and said Father of the year. I told her he was the other kids dad but not her step dad. That if someone was going to be her step dad that would mean we had to get married. She said okay if you find a good one that likes us and you then I guess that would be okay. If you wanted to get a baby you could do that. I said first off no babies. She said well if you got married you have a baby. I said no I have all the babies that I want. I am not having no more babies. She said okay good I would rather you not. So if you get a boyfriend and you get married don’t be going to the hospital because you will end up with a baby. People go there and if there are two red they are pregnant and get a baby. But if there is just one red then they aren’t pregnant and don’t get a baby. I said two red what? She said I don’t know it is just how it works. You go see if you have one or two reds and find out of your are getting a baby.

She told me again how we could work together at the same job and put our money together to pay bills. That he could live with us if he has a nicer house we could live with him.

She stopped and looked worried for a minute. She said be would have to know there is a granny and she is sassy and not be scared off by her. I said i am sure he would understand their is a granny and I think it would take more than her to scare him off. She said I don’t know. I said don’t worry about it I will handle that. She said okay.

This girl is a trip. She said so much more but I was all but a sleep when this conversation took place. I can’t remember it all. But I find it interesting for now she has went from no boyfriend to married. You can read my post A talk with Little Bitty

I told JW this morning he was like we can skip the married part but I am okay with the rest. But you’re going to need a bigger bed. But that is how he is he would do anything and everything for my kids and with them. He loves kids.



{April 10, 2020}   A Talk with Little Bitty

As most of you know Little Bitty is dead set against me having a husband or boyfriend. No way no how for any reason dose she want me to have one or even think about having one. Over the last few weeks I have brought it up and we have talked about it a little here and there, but not much. She just always says she don’t want to talk about it or just because. Last night it came up she started with I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t want to waste my breath on this, can we just talk about it later. I said you always want to talk about it later and never will we are talking about it now. She finally opened up and we had a very heartbreaking, eye opening conversation.

She said I can’t have a boyfriend because he will steal me away. She said that oldest is 16 and going to be moving out any time and the other two are going to be moving out and it will just be me and her. If I get a boyfriend he will steal me away and she will have no body because I am all she has besides the other kids who are going to be moving out. At this point she was in tears. So very upset and worried. I tried to explain to her it would be at least 2 years and probably longer before anyone started moving out and that Mr. 9 and her still had a a long time before they would be. That no matter what no one could steal me away and take me from her.

I told her that whoever I ended up with would have to like her and the rest of the kids. They would want to do things with us all together. I told her that we would find someone that understood that they came first and they would have to be okay with that or we wouldn’t be able to be together.

Then she told me she did not want another dad or step dad she was happy with the one she has even though she don’t know him. She started telling me that me and her dad are still together I never broke up with him we just didn’t live together. That some day he may come back to meet her and want to move back in with us and be together.

I had to stop myself from crying with her. I explained to her that we were broken up that is why he hasn’t been here all this time and we have not talked to him. That he broke up with me and moved away. I told her that he had a new girlfriend. She was surprised and didn’t know what to say. Then she thought that was her step mom. I told her no he was not married and that was not her step mom. I asked her if her dad could have a girlfriend then why couldn’t I have a boyfriend. She said because I had her and the other kids.

Then she thought about her dad having other kids. She said something about if he had other kids before and doing things with them. But she never put two and two together about them being her brothers and sisters if he did have kids. Last night it hit her and she said if he has other kids then that would mean they are my brothers and sisters. I said yes honey he has other kids. She said when she gets grown up she wants to move by him so she can get to know them and him and come back to see me since she is living with me now.

She never asked how many other kids or where they lived. She just assumed they lived with him. I didn’t tell her any different. I figure it is best for her to ask when she is ready to know than me giving her more information than she maybe ready for. With all that we were already dealing with I didn’t want to overwhelm her with more. She was still upset and crying.

She told me she didn’t want me to get anymore babies at all. I told her I wouldn’t that I didn’t want more babies and that whoever I ended up with would have to understand that and not want any more either. She said but if you get a boyfriend then you get babies. I said no I will keep that from happening. Then she told me no I said yes I can I will. She kept insisting how was I going to do that because that is what happens when you get boyfriends or husbands. I told her not to worry about it I just would.

She told me a lot of other things and we talked about it all and i told her how it would work or what to expect. She said he can not live with us and he has to know that I get to sleep with you too. I laughed and told her he wasn’t going to be living with us and that even if he wanted to or I wanted him to we would have to talk about it as a family and decide that it was okay for him to live with us. That it would be a while before that would happen. That we would all have to do things together and get to know him and everyone like each other and things. It wasn’t something that would just happen just like the kids aren’t moving out anytime soon.

She felt a lot better and calmed down a lot then. We talked some more. She said well he needs to have a job and his own place. He needs to be able to pay his bills and things. If his job don’t give him lot of hour then maybe you can get him a job with you and he can have two and work lots of hours like you since that is what you do. Two jobs would be okay but three would be to many probably. Then she said you two should put your money together and pay the bills and then you would have money left to do other stuff.

I said if he don’t live here then we won’t put our money together and he won’t pay our bills. I will pay our bills buy the things we need and he will pay his bills and buy the things that he needs. She said well if you put your money together and pay all the bills then you both will have more left. She said he may not have lights at his house if he is here for to long. I said what do you mean. She said if he ha to leave and go back to his house he may not have lights because he may not pay his bills there why he is here. She also told me I don’t want to snuggle with hairy arms so I have to sleep on one side of you he has to sleep on the other and know that I get to sleep with you all the time. But probably only until I am 16. Then I will probably sleep by myself. If not then when I turn 18 and move out.

She said he has to like Heartland the show we watch at night in bed. That way he can watch it with us. I don’t know what all but when we were done talking she said it would be okay if you get a boyfriend if he is a good one nice to us and you. Then she said if he is here and he is mean and won’t leave we will call the police so they can make him leave.

About and hour or two later she walked by and I was on my pone. She said what are you doing on line dating? I said no why would you say that? She said I don’t know but good because that is just weird. She said oh and I forgot to tell you, if he hurts you I’m going to hurt him. He may think I’m cute but I’m really revengeful, (as she punched her hand). And I get my way (have her ways). If he bleeds then he just bleeds I can’t help it he shouldn’t of been mean to you. My oh my this child. I don’t know if I should laugh or be scared myself.

I am blown away by all that she had to say and all that she has been thinking about. I don’t know other 7 years old’s who would think of a lot of what she said about the job and sharing bills and helping each other out and him helping us around the house and things. I feel bad that these are the things she thinks about and worries about. She is to young and shouldn’t have to think about things like that and be worried about them. Or scared that someone is going to take me away from her and that I am all she has. If these guys could see what they do to these kids when they are not in the picture and how it affects them would they even car? Would it make them change their ways?

I told J.W about our conversation and he said he could do that stuff or does that stuff or something. I told him I know. I told him he was ahead of the game because he is already Her’s and Mommy’s friend with the really cool dog.

Like I told him I think that him and my kids will get along great. If I didn’t I probably wouldn’t have considered even getting together. I didn’t get with others and that was one of the reasons, I didn’t feel they would get along with my kids good. Or a lot of them act as if they are an after thought, or bother that I have them. they don’t like that they come first. I am sure it isn’t going to be sunshine and roses right off the bat between him and all of them. I am sure that some are going to be guarded and others are going to be indifferent or not interested in him and Little Bitty will take some time getting use to him being around. But I know that if everyone truly gives everyone a chance. They give him one and he gives them one they will all end up liking each other and getting a long for the most part once it is all said and done. But like Little Bitty they have been through a lot and he is going to have to build that trust and bond between them and be careful not to break it. They are going to have to learn to let go and let people in and that not everyone is going to hurt them and that there are decent guys out there even if their dads did them this way some one wants to be there for them and with them.

I also found it interesting that Little Bitty keeps saying he can’t live with us but then at the same time says things as if he is living with us and how things are going to be or should be and happen. I think deep down she wants someone to be a father figure and she really wants that to be her dad. But also open to the idea now that she knows she will still have her dad no matter what. She has just been through so much she is scared. She didn’t like it when Sleeping Beauty was here and how he was. I think also it help for her to know that me having a boyfriend isn’t just all about me, that it involves them as well and that if there are big decisions to be made they will be made as a family not just someone pushed on them or forced on them. That everyone has to like him and him like everyone and want to spend time with all of us not just me.

I think once this lock down crap ends then I will decide when it is a good time to sit down an talk to them tell them we are together and let them meet.



{March 2, 2020}   Court With R.C Round 1

I have been waiting for this day for right about 7 years now and it is finally here, today is the first of at least two or three court dates with R.C. I am sure he is going to probably drag things out and want to do the dna test. That is fine Little Bitty and I already did ours last year. It has been just about a year maybe 8 months or so. I think we did it right before or right after my first court date with Father of The Year. Goes to show you how slow and how log it takes to get anywhere with the child support people. But I just don’t have time to do all this myself right now. If I was working one job and not dealing with the Bitch and have her there in my ass 24/7 I could have taken them both to court myself and had things done a lot faster. So here we are waiting for them to take care of it. I

I will be surprised if he don’t ask for the dna test. If he does they will take it right there why he is at the courthouse or child support office. Then it will take two weeks for them to get the results back. I figure if they take it today we will have the results back in 4 to 8 weeks maybe 6 if we are lucky. I am not looking to get them in the 2 weeks like they say. Even if they do everything quickly on his side, we still have to wait for my office to send the results to the lab and then them to process them. Then they will send them back to the offices that requested them and I will have to wait for them to send me the results or tell me. That will probably require a court date to get. I am not sure if they told us the lab would send the offices the results and us or just the offices. Even if they send a copy to us it will still take the office here forever to do something with the results once they get them. Then it will take forever for them to get us another court date.

I a at work now I don’t have to be at court until 2, I am taking off at 12:15/12:30 and headed that way since it is about 30 miles or more away. They are doing road work and it will be lunch time traffic and I am having a small issue with my car. I don’t want to wait until the last minute to head that way. I want to give myself time and maybe stop and get something to eat on the way I a going to this one by myself. I am okay with that. Jw said the other day I don’t know if I can take off and go with you to that one. I said it’s okay, I am fine with going to this one by myself. I figure he is going to phone it in since he is out of state and I don’t have an issue or issues with him like I do father of the year. No things didn’t leave off on good terms with us and he has not been in the picture the last 7 years. But at the same time, he has not done near the things Father of the Year has. He also has not been in the picture making life hell and not doing his part at the same time like farther of the year did. He decided he didn’t want to be in the picture he stepped out and let me do what I needed to do for her. He didn’t try to interfere in that or keep me from that. He didn’t try to tell me what i could or couldn’t do or say he was going to be there and not or be a when he felt like it parent. Like I have said before. I respect that more than someone that just wants to be in the picture when they feel like it or to try and control things from the outside when they have no right or say so in things. If you aren’t going to do it, can’t do it or just don’t want to then fine step a side and let me do me and do what I have to in order to take care of my kids. He did that he left us alone and let us live our lives. Am I happy he hasn’t been a father? No but that is something I can not control. I have to let that go and let that work out or play out how ever that is going to play out from here on out. Because that is and always has been between him and Little Bitty. As long as he is not hurting her, jerking her around or doing her like Father of the Year did or has done my other kids then I have to stay out of it and am able to keep things civil. He is the only one that is going to have to answer for what he is doing or has done. He is the one that will have to face her one day and explain why he wasn’t there. He can never ever say it was because I did not let him or that I wasn’t civil to him. I went above and beyond even after we weren’t together the few times we did talk and things to help him and to even help him and his old lady out because i knew they had kids and I wouldn’t see them do without.

I guess I better get off here and get things settled here at work before I go. I am leaving in 15 minutes or so. This day is flying by right now. I hope it keeps it up and I don’t have to be at this court house for very long. I will be leaving and going straight to work from there or looking for something to do until time to go to work if it goes to fast. I will be a few miles from my night job I’m not going to come all the way back up here for a few minutes.



{October 23, 2019}   Sleepwalking

I feel like that is how I have been getting through life just sleepwalking through it. I have felt so sleep deprived lately I almost can’t function. I have had a hard time driving home more times than I will admit to the last month. I have just hit that burnt out point in the year. Where I have worked to the point I am over worked and need vacation somewhere cut off from the world and all human interaction. Okay I know I am dreaming but I need a break of some kind. We haven’t done our girls night out in a really long time either so I am just working, sleeping repeat, time with kids on the weekend and jump back into the week. Not having that break and things getting busier at both jobs and the time getting ready to change always throws everything off. I am trying to acclimate I think.

I think the time change has a lot to do with it. I don’t know why but it always throws me off I think it’s worse this year with the hours I am working. The fact that my dads birthday is tomorrow don’t help either. The guy at work said something about it would of been his dads birthday it hit me that my dads was coming up this month. It was one of them things you know but not thinking about or keeping track of. Now it has been there nagging me for the last few weeks. I am going to get one of them chines lantern things and do. I am debating on doing tomorrow on break at my night job or waiting until the weekend and doing it with the kids somewhere. I don’t know how they would feel about it or be interested in doing it.

A lot has been going on I have wanted to write but just can’t concentrate when I sit down and try. It has been busy at my day job even when it isn’t the guys have been around and in the office a lot lately too. My night job things are so strictly watched and looked at I don’t want them seeing all my stuff. I hardly use the computer for anything other than work or to watch things when there is nothing to do. My phone has no service I have to hook it to the wifi to get on line and that is blocked so things can’t be done.

This morning thought I am in a good place. I am starting to feel like all the struggle and work I have been through the last 4 years is paying off and I have made that turn. I just want to write today and catch everyone up on what has happened and all that is going on. But I have to work some. So I am going to get off here for now and make my calls. Then I will have a while to jump back on and catch you all up on everything or most everything at least.



{June 12, 2019}   Time For A Change

Who the hell do I call, write or visit to get some fucking changes with the way they handle these fucking deadbeat dads who don’t feel the need to pay child support? May 15 we went to court and he made the payment to catch up SOME of his back pay not even all of it. Then makes one full payment and not even half of another and has paid nothing since then. He is over $700 behind just since we went to court. Not counting the back pay he still has to take care of.

I messaged them the other day after getting part of a payment and they said we JUST went to court and we had to give him and/or his boss the time to get the payment in. This was three weeks after court one and a half payments down or behind. How much time does he need to make the payment and keep them going? The $2500 back pay did not come from his pocket at all. He got it from mommy probably I don’t know don’t care. Then that very Friday he misses a payment then makes one payment and the following week makes less than half a payment and again nothing last week. But he is walking around scott free nothing being done.

I called them today and asked them what was going on. She said they sent a paper telling his boss they need him to take money out every week or to know if he isn’t working there on the 11th and they are waiting to hear back. I said the 11th was before we went to court so nothing is being done since we have been and he is still basically not making payments? Well they have to be 90 days behind she tells me. I said he is already over $700 behind I thought it was a week or month? Well at the end of JUNE if he has not made a payment then they will take action and try to collect. I said so we will go back to court or what? Oh no you have already been to court. I said and he isn’t paying still so we need to go back or something. Well no it will depend there are other actions they can take. I asked what?

Suspend his license, I said already did that in February

suspend pursonal or state licenses I said he don’t have them

Go after his tax return, I said already doing that and he don’t file he works under the table

She like well we can only do so much. I said why can’t we just take him back to court and put him in jail or threaten him or what? Because that is the only way he is going to ever pay. Well at the end of the month we will send a letter to his employer to have them take it out again and to him to see why he isn’t paying and he will have so many days to comply and then those are the steps we go through. They may send it back to court in 90 days if he don’t comply.

Why don’t they take him the first payment he misses and send a letter telling him to pay it or show up in court? If he keeps missing payments and haven to have letters sent to him they should make him come in and he should have to pay so much in advance ahead that way if he misses then the kids are not going without why it takes them so long to get him in court.

I don’t know what the right answer is or the answer is at all but I know that something has to change and they have to do something and get these guys on the line and make them see that they are going to be in and out of court and or jail if they do not pay. I am sure they will say they don’t have the money to put them in there all the time or more than every 90 days or what. But you know what if they didn’t have 15 people sitting around doing nothing waiting on people to come in their office maybe they could. Or maybe if they had 12 of them people each take so many cases and make sure that the parties are paying or sending them letters and going to court they could. Because they have no less than 15 people sitting around in the office just waiting for people to walk in and I have been there an hour or so before closing and I have been there in the middle of the day and right at closing. All hours of the day and there has never been more than me and 3 other people in there at any given time.

I have to go this Friday for the DNA test and I am going to talk to them in office and see if I can get anywhere or any more help than what I am going. If not I am going to call the judge and if I get no where from there I am going to go to the court and file papers myself and get it in front of the judge or go to the court house and wait and tell them I need to talk to the judge.

I want to message him or call him and say look I am going to their office Friday morning if you don’t want me to sign the papers to have you picked up then you need to make sure you have a payment in tomorrow so they can get it to me by Monday. If it isn’t the full $719 I will sign anyway. Just see if that scares him into paying. I also feel like going and seeing his grandma and calling his parents and saying look I know that you all paid this for him why he told you all this time he has been paying it but that you are wasting your time because he is still not paying and this much behind here is the site here is the information if you don’t believe me. I am going down to do what I have to do to get him back in court and get it paid or him in jail. Even if he goes to jail and does anytime it is going to just be a circle because the money don’t go away and I will not sign for it to he is still going to have to pay and it is just going to keep adding up why he is in there. maybe they will get on his ass and make him pay. because the last thing they want is for one of their kids to be in jail. That looks bad on them. If he goes I am going to make sure everyone knows too.

But most of all I just want some things changed and them to do something about this before 90 days and for all these parents men and women to get the help they should be. Not stuglling to get by and doing without and their kids doing without because they are not doing anything. Because I can tell you if it comes down to going to jail or paying many, many, many of these guys would pay. And if they knew that after just one or two weeks of missing a payment they were going to be jerked back in there and have to pay anyway or go to jail they would. It would only take a few times of making them get there and paying a lump sum to get caught up or spending some time in the jail that they would make sure if they had to sell their ass on the corner they got their child support paid. But they know now they rack up all this they have to pay a little chunk then make no more payments for months or years and nothing is done until next time they pay a little chunk and walk off again. I think if we done this half or more would get their money in and their kids would be getting the money they need and not doing without.

I am going to spend the next few days figuring out who i need to call write and go see to get something done because this is not working. If someone don’t raise enough hell and let them get away with doing things the way they are then they are not going to change the way they go after these guys either.

Until then I am going to make his life hell as well because I now as of Monday have a lot of free time in the mornings I will be watching him and reporting him when he gets in the company truck and is driving, I will be letting his boss and family know like I said that he isn’t bothering to pay. I am so done and so over it all I don’t even care anymore, what anyone thinks or feels or says about it all.



{March 26, 2019}   To Contact or Not Contact

I am really on the fence about trying to contact RC and see if he will have some kind of relationship with Little Bitty. I feel that the sooner the better for her, than waiting until she is a lot older. But then if he says no or gets nasty then what am I supposed to say or do? I could tell her I haven’t talked to him or wasn’t able to get a hold of him. But I don’t want to lie to her. I would rather not try to contact him than to have to tell her he don’t want to talk to her or lie that I didn’t get a hold of him.

I am debating if I should wait until child support contacts him and see if he tries to contact me or what they say about visitation. I am sure they will do a paternity test as well since he is not on the birth certificate and my divorce had not been granted. I had to send a letter in it asked who I had been with if I was married or gotten married in x time frame and all that. I had to put RC on there and Father of the Year. I know 100% without a shadow of a doubt that RC is the father. He knows as well and told Bff and her husband that he knew that he was as soon as we found out a was pregnant.

But this way he can’t say she isn’t his or anything like that. Then it will just be up to him, is he or is he not going to have a relationship with his daughter. Even if just for right now it is by phone for now.

Another part wants to just call him up or message him and be like hey look this is your daughter, you know this, she is asking about you, wants to know about you and to get to know you. Are you going to step up or just keep being a deadbeat like you have been?

I know I can’t say it just like that and that I have to be careful what I say and how I say it.

Then I worry about how it will effect the other kids and their dad not being in the picture. I wonder how things are going to play out come May when me and him go to court and go over the child support and visitation for the three of them. I don’t know if how that will go over because they do not want to go to his house or have anything to do with his new wife. I know the court isn’t really going to care about that and tell me that I have told them this or that. But you know what they know who has been there and who hasn’t. Oldest knows he has told her what he was going to do and he hasn’t bothered to. I also have their writings from school that their teacher wanted to make sure that I got because of what they wrote. About how mom is always here and mom don’t run away and mom is all they have. I wasn’t there when that was written, I didn’t even know anything about the writing project that they were working on much less know what they wrote until I went to their holiday dinner with them. They were hanging on the wall and I found them and read them. You can read what they wrote here What They Are Thankful For if you haven’t seen it before. This was a dinner he could of came to as well but he had already been gone for months at that time and knew nothing that was going on in their lives.

But I can’t not let her have contact with her dad just because their’s isn’t in the picture. Theirs was for a while when hers wasn’t.

I am going to have to really think about it and figure out what to do. I just feel if I wait it could be another year or more before they get to us and really do anything and we get the test, results, court date and all that. I don’t want to wait years if I am going to do it.



{February 16, 2019}   WTF Moment

Boy did I have a what the fuck moment today. I was sitting here at work doing something and the phone rang and I answered it.

This guy with an accent calls me by name and says how are you doing? This is RC!!!

I was confused in a split second wtf, how dose he know where to find me, why is he calling me here, I can’t deal with him right now, no fucking way in hell he is calling me.

I said this is WHO? He said D is is busy today?

When he said that this relief came over me. Thank god I miss understood him and wow he sounded just like him.

He must of heard it in my voice he said what is wrong? I said I thought you said someone else I wondered how they had found me.

After I hung up I thought wow the way I felt when I thought that is who it was on the phone. Why did I feel that way?

I was shocked or surprised whatever you want to call it and annoyed he was calling me at work on their line instead of my cell. I have the same number I had back then and it isn’t hard to find or get. If he could pin point me to where I was working he could of had it too.

I thought I would feel anger or something if or when he came back in the picture but I didn’t at all. It was just a it’s about time lets see where this goes.

I have been thinking about trying to contact him it was like okay now I don’t have to do that and stress about the outcome. So much goes through your head at one time and so fast.

I was relived when it wasn’t him but kind of disappointed at the same time. Disappointed as in now there is still no contact been made and now I still have to decide what to do and how to handle it and how he is going to react.



{February 16, 2019}   Tell Her I am Her Dad

Wednesday night when we were all out BFF said something about she would do a lot of things different in life if she could go back or had known.

I said I think about it but I couldn’t if because if I did then I wouldn’t have things I have now and…

She said I wouldn’t trade my kids or change that. I would still have them.

Sleeping Beauty said he would he would was talking about how his kids are. That you know the one says she wants to get to have a dad and get to know him but then tells him he ask to many questions and gets mad when he won’t hand over money every time she decides she needs it. He said he knew it had a lot to do with him not being there and how she was raised. He said he wasn’t allowed to see his kids and things back when she was little.

I said see I have never and will never tell mine they can’t see their kids I have all but begged them to be in their kids lives and they do what they have. It kills me because of the kids and that there are other guys who would kill to be in their kids lives and can’t and have to fight like hell to get anytime with them. They could careless about theirs and how they do them and act like it is no big deal.

I said something about how Little Bitty is bent on I need to find her daddy for her and let her talk to him and that she needs to get to know him and things. I don’t know how he is going to react if I was to get a hold of him and things.

Sleeping Beauty said you know how we can handle that don’t you? I said how? He said tell her she did meet her daddy already, it was me. He said she will be like oh hell no and not want anything else to do with getting a hold of him if she thinks it is me, she hates me. He said tell her she can have that $400 princess car too but I am the new babysitter. She will stop talking about that real fast too. I said she don’t hate you. He said she does if I give her the tv, phone and computer back and let her stay up as late as she wants she would be my best friend but since I told her she couldn’t do that stuff she hates me. It really bothers him that she don’t like him. He don’t understand that she really is not use to having a guy in around or anyone around that wants to have any kind of involvement in their life and really be there for them and be a friend. If he had stuck around and was around more things would change.

We are all talking about getting together and taking the kids camping here soon and we were talking about if he comes and things. Little Bitty won’t like it but I think she will come around when we are out of the house away from things and just having fun and doing things.

I honestly think that is a big thing with him and his comments and then backing off as well. The fact of the way she feels and things toward him. I don’t know if it just bothers him that much or if he feels that I would call things off over the way she feels for some reason. I wouldn’t because I know why she “don’t like” him. It isn’t anything bad it is because of just what I said she isn’t use to anyone else but me. Hell I hated my step dad when he moved in and raised 100 kinds of hell with him for a while before we came to a even playing field and even then I keep him on his toes at times. I never called him my dad. For me that was a huge or the thing he was not my dad and he was not going to act like it in any way shape or form. After I got older a lot older, like adult older or close to it I came around by then he was out of the picture and not living with us anymore but I realized a lot seen a lot and well it is just part of getting older and growing up.

I see how it is hard for kids in that spot being there as a kid myself and not being able to explain how you feel or why. I can understand how it feels from being the adult and put in that spot with kids and them not liking you or wanting you around. After going through it with RC’s kids. But we told them from start I am not trying to take moms place I am just here to take care of you when mom isn’t and when you are with dad. I love you and will treat you just the same as my kids and help you but I know you have mom and mom comes first. But for kids that is still hard to understand. I know my step dad knew i had a dad but I didn’t care.

I had another friend tell me to let him know he would talk to Little Bitty on the phone and tell  her he was her dad and talk to her like he was. He just tell her since he was out of state they could only talk on the phone not see each other.

I can’t do that to her. I know they don’t mean no harm or in a bad way they are just trying to be helpful and feel bad for her. But going about it that way is not the way to go. If they wanted to step up and say hey I’m not your dad but I am here for you if you need to talk, want to do something or just need a dad like person for something that would be fine. That wouldn’t bother me but doing something like they said I can’t do, I can’t lie to my kid and I am not going to do something that can or will hurt her more in the long run when she finds out. I am not asking or expect them to do that.



{September 14, 2018}   Dads Bring Your Kids To School Day

I get the news letter from the little kids school and it says this month is Dads bring your kids to school day and have breakfast. I am a little confused as to why this is even a thing?

Why are we going to tell dads to bring their kids to school and then bribe them with breakfast to get them there? Why is a dad doing something a parent is supposed to do and that millions of parents everwhere do everyday such a big deal. I get up every morning and walk my two little ones to school along with a bunch of other moms and dads too. I have to say there are just about as many dads who walk or drive their kids to school as there is moms. So why are we having a bring your dad to school day and making such a big deal of it? I never seen them have a moms bring your kids to school day. I know a lot of schools that do the bring dad to school. Bff’s kids school did it last year.

Then the paper goes on to say you can bring gandpa, uncle, big brother, step dad or another important male in your life. So then why call it dads bring your dad to school day? Is this a way for all the single women at the school to try and meet men? Come on is there anything one wouldn’t do to meet a man? Okay okay just kidding. But really I just do not understand what this random day is all about or for.

I wasn’t going to say anything about it then Mr. 8 came home with a paper all about it and came to me all upset that Mr. 13 told him be would not go to school with him that day. Because he don’t get up that early. So we had a talk and be agreed to go with them that day. I will be there too so I am sure I will get looks but I don’t care. I am not going for anything but to watch from the sides. Make sure kids get to school and class.

Even if it is to get dads more involved with school how well does it really work? I know most dads who do not already come may come for this and won’t be back again once it is over. Besides parents can bring their kids to school and sit with them why they have breakfast any day of the week they would like. So again really why do we need a special day to tell dads or a male figure in your childs life to bring them to school and offer brealfast? For that matter you can do this anytime why have a bring anyone to breakfast day?

Even if RC and Father of the Year were in the picture I would find this to be a crazy idea still. Because when Father of The Year took the kids to school or picked them up when he lived close and didn’t have to work. When I lived with RC he always took kids to school be it mine or his. Most of the time he took mine and I took his because mine were so far away and he went right by there on his way go work. And they had to be there earlier than his. He would be late if he had to take his.

Guys bringing their kids to school is not such a uncommon thing that we need to bribe them to get them to do it.

Anyone a teacher or staff at a school who can maybe explain this to me? Because it seems so bazaar that the schools have this. Am I missing something or is it just as bazaar as I do?

 



{August 27, 2018}   In Need of Advice

Little Bitty brought up her dad again the other day. I just don’t know what to tell her or do. I just let her talk and told her I did not find his number yet. I haven’t, I could message him but I don’t know. Not something I really want to message him.

I am torn between contacting him or not. I have so many mixed feelings over it all. I want nothing more than for them to have some kind of relationship. I feel the sooner it forms if it is going to the better. But then I worry if he comes to see her how things will end up. Because I don’t want him to bring his gf if they are still together. I don’t want him taking her around his mom and her boyfriend. I don’t want to fight over it. I fight enough as it is when it comes to dealing with things. I don’t want this to be one too.

Like I told my friend, if he came here to see here great I have no problem with it. I have no problem with him taking her on his own out if he wanted to and she wanted to go. Because when it comes down to it he is a good dad and she would be safe with him and I do not think he try to pull anything. If it was just him. But if he came with her or decided to go see his mom why he was here I do not trust them even with him there. They are not people I want her around.

If he does want to have anything to do with her is he going to stick around or is it just going to be in and out and worse on her than not finding him? If he wants nothing to do with her how do I handle that and tell her? How am I going to feel and react to talking to him and having him in our lives in whatever form that maybe? And seeing him if it comes to that? How am I going to react if he gets nasty and don’t want anything to do with her? Way to much to consider all the way around. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t really had anyone to talk to and bounce things off of or get any advice from. Everyone to busy with their own crap or just say don’t do it tell her you can’t find him right now. I can I don’t want to lie to her. Then she finds out later I could of all along. That would not be good.

I think I am going to ask Sleeping Beauty if we can get together and talk. Tell him I just need advice. We always talk about the kids and things going on he thinks of things i don’t or points things out. Gives good advice.



et cetera
%d bloggers like this: