Happy Birthday To Me

Yesterday for my birthday I had to work both jobs, it really wasn’t bad both were really slow so an easy day/night. I had already planed to take off by 9 from my night job to go have a few drinks with friends and unwind after dealing with her Christmas.

My friend I got back in touch with over the weekend (we will call him, J.W. said he wanted to go and Bff was talking about going. He messaged me off and on all yesterday. He asked where I wanted to go I told him I wasn’t sure. Then when I was getting to my night job he said lets go get some dinner. I told him I had to see and he said his treat.

I got off at 8:30 because it was so slow. The guy the works with me said earlier lets get out of here early tonight. I said that is fine with me I was planing on leaving at 9 anyway. By 830 it was so dead I said can we get out of here yet? He laughed and said go I’m not far behind you.

I went and picked up J.W. and we headed over to the island. We had been talking about what was open. We seen this Restaurant bar in down town open so  we decided to go in there. They have been around here forever when I was a kid but I had never been in there. I got the shrimp basket with cal slaw. It was really good. We sat there for a bit talking then we rode around for a while talking. I dropped him off and went home. It was about midnight then.

I messaged and told him thank you that I had a good time. He said he was glad and we needed to do it more often. I told him I was going to start going out once a week like I was before, He said it sounded good. I want to do more than just sit at the place and watch people sing or try to and do nothing. I want to start playing pool or walking the beach, something to get out and really do something not just sit. I sit all day at both job. once in a while going somewhere and just sitting is fine but I like to do other things too. Like Bff said maybe once a month go and just sit and hangout. That is fine, we can get a group of us together and do different things others want to do as well. I would love for bff’s aunt to come again but I don’t know if she will or not.

He said pool is free over where him and his friend goes not to far from the house. That is nice, it’s so much an hour at the other place but it is more of a pool hall. I don’t really care for either place but I know others that are free too. I don’t mind going to the one his friend goes to I have been in there few times. Can’t think for the life of me who the heck I was with when I was in there because most people I know don’t hangout in the places around us over there. That is going to bother me because I remember being there the other people there things we talked about, it being pretty slow, driving there and meeting them there but not who I was with. It has been a while. I can’t even remember if it was a friend I was with or a guy. I know it wasn’t bff she would never go somewhere like that. Well she wouldn’t have then. Who knows maybe I will figure it out.

Took Time For Myself

I had not been out in months, probably 4 or more. All my time lately has been at work or out with the kids doing something with them. I was starting to feel irritated and in a bad mood all the time. I didn’t want to be at work, I didn’t want to be at home or around the kids. If you are a parent I am sure you know that feeling when you haven’t had a break and your busy with no time to yourself.

My “friend” messaged me during the week and asked if I wanted to go out for a while. I told him I couldn’t go out until Saturday around 8. I never go out on Saturday but I needed the break and figured that by 8 the kids would be settled. We had plans during the day and I figured I would take them to dinner. By 8 they could settle for the night watch movies and play until they went to bed.

I got home and out around 7 and messaged him to see what he was doing. He said he wasn’t ready he was just starting to get ready. I told him that was fine. I had a few things to take care of to let me know when he was done. I went and put my check in the bank and stopped at the pharmacy. He told me he was ready and asked if I wanted to meet at his house and take his car? So I went over there.

We ended up going up to the pool hall having a few drinks, played some pool and talked. We went back to his place and talked for a while and I was home by 11. But it was a nice relaxing night and a much needed break.

I think I am going to see if others want to go shoot some games of pool or darts maybe once a week or every few weeks. I use to be so good at pool and now I am horrible at it. But I love to play. Darts I have never played out anywhere just at houses but had a lot of fun playing. It be better than going and sitting listening to a bunch of people that can’t sing and eating all the time. I am going to ask around tomorrow see who would be interested in going.

Where Has This Year Gone

I had to stop and look for the date today for something I was doing. It is not anything that I do not do everyday but I had to really think about what month it was and when I had last talk to or responded to a client we are trying to set an account up for. It had been the end of March start of April when I talk to them last. I thought oh it has been a month. Then it hit me no we are half way into June just about.

I do not know where this last few months has went. As I write this and think about it, since I have started this job it seems as if I have lost a chunk of time. I think because get up go to work, leave go to job 2 and then go home and pretty much walk in and go to bed. Just to do it all over the next day and the next until the weekend gets here.

My day’s, week’s and months are just ran together. Even if you deal with the date everyday until you really stop and think about it you do not notice how much of it is gone.

Starting To Forget The Lies That Were Told

We all went out last, well me Bff and Sleeping Beauty and Bff’s oldest daughter drove them. Her aunt didn’t come said she didn’t feel good. I think she didn’t come because she isn’t happy with what BFF is doing. Her husband told her to stay out of it and not to say anything.

Old boss, Bff;s husband called she want outside and talked to him he asked where she was and was asking who was there. Then he wanted to know how Sleeping Beauty got there. She told him that they had picked him up. That I was coming from so far away south of where they all were it made more since for them to pick him up than meet me and that they picked him up over by my house somewhere at a friends house. I was not happy when she came back in and said that. I looked at her and looked at Sleeping Beauty and he just got a drink of his drink and looked at her and looked at me out of the corner of his eye. I was looking at him like wtf. Then she went outside and talked to her hubby again and came back in and said he was still starting about him and him staying at her house he don’t want all that in his house and things. Sleeping Beauty said what is he talking about my drug problem. She said yeah. Then she text Sleeping Beauty and they walked outside. Her daughter asked me if he had a drug problem? I just shrugged my shoulders and she said something else and was asking questions. I said well everyone knows why he left my house. She said why? I said because he didn’t pay someone and they were coming to kick my door in and your dad and the other guy found out and called me up there and told me about it. I said then they all told me not to go home and confront him and I did anyway because if they think I am scared of him or scared of him because of his background they are very wrong this is my house I am taking care of it and I wasn’t sitting there waiting to see what was going to happen or someone else to take care of it. She said oh yeah I remeber my mom saying something about that. I said then the guy came there looking for him saying he was looking for someone else. I said but when I called and said this guy was here this is what he looked like. She asked your dad what does so and so look like and he said this that and the other told her the same thing I just told her. They were walking back up at that point but she wasn’t happy.

They all started talking and things something was said and Sleeping Beauty said she brings it on herself. I said yeah I know. She said how, he said I don’t want to tell you because you will cry. He turned looked at me and said oh my god they all cry about everything at her house. I said I know. Then her daughter walked back up she had went to the bathroom. We talked some I asked again about how she brought it on herself he said nothing I don’t want to make her cry. He said she is making a mess and a problem or something like that. I said oh I know I been telling her this for a while now. I said and telling the kids don’t tell and things I said one of them is going to tell. Sleeping Beauty said I am just waiting on him to come walking in that door one night and I am sleeping on the couch. He said all hell is going to break lose. I said been thinking the same thing he is just going to show up one night. He said I already told her she better just stay out of it and out of the way and let whatever happens happen let me take care of it.

Me and her daughter were talking when they went outside too she asked me so what do you think of the two of them. I was just like I don’t know. I don’t want to know anything. She said my dad is going to freak the fuck out when he gets back or finds out. She said I miss my dad but I am not looking forward to seeing him because it is going to be so bad at my house when he gets back and this all goes down. I said I have been telling your mom the same thing and she knows it. I said she is making things way worse for herself than she has to and than it has to be. I said she is going about all this all wrong. I said it isn’t right and telling the kids to lie and things. She said I know.

I just want to shake her and be like wake up what are you doing? But she isn’t going to listen she is going to do what she is doing and things are going to get really bad. I am worried someone is going to get hurt when he gets home and everything comes out. I asked her yesterday so if he isn’t supposed to be there and he isn’t staying there, where is he supposed to go stay when he comes home for Easter. She got quiet for a minute and then said stunned I don’t know? I said there? It’s where he lives now. She said no he can’t do that. I said I wondered if you thought of that or not. I said he got thrown out of his moms and he isn’t staying down the street now. She just no idea what to say and said I don’t know. I said I bet he stays right there. She said don’t say that. I said well. I figure he will most likely go spend the weekend at his moms and go see his family for Easter. He did before and does most holidays. I didn’t say that to her I figure I just let her think about that for now and think about what she is doing and how this is going to turn out or could in the long run.

I am still shocked that old boss has not contacted me or Sleeping Beauty since this all involves him and I have been brought into it as if he is around because of me. Sleeping Beauty said last night oh but I was okay to be around when I was supposed to come and protect everyone and make sure everyone was safe if something happen. I said I know right, he was the one that told us to get a hold of you. But he knows like everyone else that this isn’t about him being there out with us. It is about everything boss is starting to hear and be told and the fact that he seems to be around all the time. That she is the one that picks him up he has stayed at her house and things. This is the fact she is lying and it is catching up with her. when all this was being said is when he said she is bringing this all on herself and things.

I messaged her last night and said why did you tell him you picked him up for me? She said I didn’t I just told him you worked late and was coming from the other direction it didn’t make since for you to pass here to pick him up then have to come all the way back. I said yeah but it sounds like you are picking him up for me and that is the way you put it to him too. I said he knows we aren’t together. She said he knows you all were thinking about getting together and hanging out and things. I said no he don’t because  you already told him we are just staying friends and not together. She said no I said yes you did she don’t remember. She was drinking last night too. But she did for some reason it came up I guess back after the night we were all drinking and I stayed there and he was questioning all that and things that we just decided to be friends stay friends. So I am sure that is why he is questioning it more as well. Why he is going with us all over now and hanging around more if we are all just friends. We never did before. I don’t mind him being there hanging out with us for me it is just like anyone else there and hanging out it don’t bother me the more people the more fun. But what she is doing and has done is not right. I have no one to answer to or worry about and I have nothing to answer for because I am not doing anything wrong and I have nothing to hide. If I have to hide it I’m not doing it.

Bff already said that Sleeping Beauty said that if he comes to him and ask him or says anything he is telling him the truth. I said well you can’t blame him and it involves him and it is going to come out anyway so why lie about it. Been my point all along. I didn’t say I would or wouldn’t but she already knows how I feel about it and that I am not lying about shit to anyone. I just said he hasn’t come to me and I am surprised but not at the same time. I said I figure he hasn’t because he figures he isn’t going to get any information about of me or what he wants. I figure he isn’t back until next weekend that I maybe hearing from him before then if things keep going the way they are. I don’t know what I am going to say or tell him. I guess it will all depend on what he ask and how. If he ask if me and Sleeping Beauty are together, been together or thinking about getting together I am telling him straight up no. I tell him what happen or what. If he says anything about him going to applebee’s with us is he coming because of me or what I am telling him, he comes because everyone knows we go and that who ever wants to go can come. Since he came that one night with us he comes when he isn’t working. That I bring other people as well and they show up now and then or when they feel like it just the same. If he ask anything else about Sleeping Beauty I am just going to say I don’t know you would have to ask him I don’t talk to him other than when we all meet on Wednesday nights if he shows up or we all go somewhere and take the kids and he shows up. If he ask how he gets there I will tell him she picks him up. If he ask why I’m tell him I don’t talk to him that much I guess he ask her to. I am like him I am not lying to him about it she brought me into it by making it seem as if he is coming there because of me or with me or for me. He isn’t. If he wasn’t living at her house and she wasn’t lying about that it might not be as big of a deal because who cares if he goes out with us Wednesday we are all just going as friends. The fact of what she is doing and how she is doing it and hiding all of it and lying about it I have a problem with that. I’m not being a part of all that.

I don’t think they are together, I think he is just looking for a free place to stay, she pays when they go out or we all go out. He hasn’t worked all week. She like I said before is To Scared To Be Alone. He is willing to stay there so she is letting him. That is fine but don’t lie about it and have your kids lying about it and get upset when others start talking and it gets back to people you don’t want it to and you have to deal with them. They are both friends but I am not getting caught up in the lies just like her already don’t remember what she has or hasn’t told him now and just getting in deeper.


Never Heard From Him

I got off work and tried to get a hold of Speacial K and never could. I think he didn’t want to come because he had no money and went to bed. So he didn’t have to tell me no or go and let me pay.

I am waiting to see if I hear from him today what he has to say.

I Caved

So on my way to my night job I caved and messaged Special K. I messaged him he said hey whats up? We talked some. I told him to come out with us tonight he said he didn’t have money or gas right now. I said just come out we just get a drink and hang out. He said he knew it just wouldn’t feel right not that he didn’t want to go.

I got to work I told him it would be $10 at the most I had it not to worry about it. He pays all the time. I told him meet me there at 10:30 and that Bff and them would be there earlier if he wanted to go early. I haven’t heard back from him. But I am at work in a metal building and have no service. I will probably get a bunch of messages when I get in the truck. If I don’t hear from him I will message him before I leave.

I told bff we may not sit with them at first. I may sit and talk to him some first. Or wait until they leave and talk. I don’t really know it’s going to be late.

He hasn’t said anything about being with someone or what happen or what. I figure he will get around to it. I am just going to tell him the truth. It didn’t happen and I have been doing some thinking.

Have You Ever

So the guy who wanted to buy my truck and who told me about the job will be called Mr. Auto from now on.

My Thursday, drive to work conversation.

Mr. Auto, called while I was taking the kids to school and I didn’t notice. I called back later but then Little Man stayed home sick he started talking to me. He said get ready for work and talk to your boy. Call me in a bit when you can talk.

I finished what I had to do and got out of the house and called him back. I wanted to see if it was about the job or just him wanting to talk. It was just him talking. He didn’t say a lot of anything for a bit just this and that.

He said something again about me not answering when he called before and things. He said I pass your house I started to stop by but I didn’t know who might answer. Then I thought Sleeping beauty had moved back in. I didn’t want to make him mad. He got mad before about some girl he knew he thought I was to friendly with.

I said why would you think he moved back in? And even if he did he don’t tell me who I can or can’t talk to and something about not being together.

He said I don’t know you all living or lived in the same house & sleeping in the same bed together. That’s more than roommates.

I said wait a minute, I don’t know what you have been told by who. But we are not together now or have we ever been anything more than friends. I needed to rent my extra room he needed a place to stay we help eachother out. I said had it been anything more between us he would of never moved in or stayed the night in my house.

He said what do you mean?

I said I have 4 kids at home 24/7. I do not ever bring guys I am talking to, to my house. I do not let guys meet my kids. My kids do not even know if I go on a date or if I am talking to a guy. I said I would have to be in a relationship 4 to 6 months before I even thought about telling my kids and letting them meet. Then it would be a long time down the road before I would think about living together. I said so no he would of never been to my house muchless living there. So if you heard different whoever said it lied and I will tell you right infront of them they lied, I don’t care.

He said something about him and why it never was more or what.

I said he makes comments it comes up but that is as far as it ever goes. Then I don’t hear from him again for weeks or months. I said I am not wasting my time or waiting around for him or anyone.

He said can I get personal a minute ask you something? I said yeah what? Thinking how much more personal do you want to get?

He goes have you ever dated a black guy before? I said no. I said well back in school if you want to count that he was mixed. He said why I hadn’t talk to him since or what. I said that was to long ago and I haven’t talk to him since his dad was my boss. They closed and moved.

He said but never really dated before? I said no. He said I didn’t think so why? I said I don’t know, maybe because they are all like the white ones, they all want to talk shit no action to back it up. I scare them off like the white ones or anyothers.

He laughed kind of and said scare them off, how do you do that or what do you mean?

I said because if I have a man in my life or around it is not because I need him for something. He is this because I want him there. I want to spend time with him, do things together or what. I am not looking for a man to pay my bills and buy me things or to take care of me or my kids. I said I may struggle but I can do it myself. If we are together we are because of them not what they can do have or give. I said most don’t know how to be with someone like that. They know they can’t pull shit or get away with shit because they know they can be dropped in just a minute. I said I let myself ger in a spot where I was dependent for a bit and I wont let that happen again. Guys don’t know how to act if they aren’t needed. I said we need to work as a team to make sure what is needed is covered then to have what we want.

He stammered a little said oh um, wow um yeah your right if you think about it. Um ah um I got to go! I said okay we hung up. I heard from him a little since but not much. He called last night ask what I was doing? I said goinbg home, cooking, feeding kids and putting them to bed. He ask what my plans were after that i said I didn’t know. He say much. Said he was at the mall shoping for shoes for his son. Something about shoping or liking to shop.

I said I don’t know I don’t like to shop for shoes, clothes or purses. I like to shop for houses, trucks and furniture.

He said you like to shop for the big money stuff. I said yeah hints why I don’t get to shop.



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